Reid My Mind

TR:
Freeze, flight or fight.

Psychologically, we’re all wired differently. I’m pretty sure our DNA and perhaps our experiences play a part in how we respond to not just traumatic situations but life in general. It’s hard for me to understand freezing. I can understand pausing momentarily in order to assess the situation before responding. Like…

Before I move on to the other two categories of responses, I’m Thomas Reid, this is Reid My mind Radio.

— Reid My Mind Radio Theme Music

TR:
In the context of all the social and political attacks on our lives, freezing, looks like deciding not to engage at all. You hear things like;
“I don’t do politics.”
“I stay away from the news, it’s just so depressing.”
“None of that effects my life, I just mind my business.”

I can understand flight. It makes absolute sense for different people based on their unique situation.

If we turn back the clock to November 2024, when the election was called for Diaper Don.

Lolly:
Well, I think the week before I had some hope that it was going to go differently than it did, but I could see early on election eve that it wasn’t. I would say that my reaction was one of fear.
I think a foreboding of things to come that a lot of us knew might happen, and we have seen a lot of those things happen and more.

I recall texting my niece who lives in Toronto early morning hours, and I think both of us were in tears.

TR in conversation with Lolly:
Were you texting like, “Hey, you got a bed, or was it just commiserating?

(Laughs)

Lolly:
That was part of our conversation. Yes. So now what?

TR:
Say hello to Lolly!

Lolly:
My name is Lali Lijewski. I’m from Minneapolis, Minnesota. I use she/her pronouns.
I’m a 70-ish woman with brown and some silver hair, brown eyes. I’ve been legally blind, all my life. Lost my vision throughout my life progressively.

I also have acquired hearing loss as I’ve gotten older, and so use hearing aids in both ears. And then just recently have a diagnosis that’s more of a physical one, which you know the older you get, the more you get.

TR:
We all need to consider our safety. But there are definitely some who are more at risk and take that into consideration when participating in any sort of advocacy or activism.

Lolly:
I think that for me, advocacy just is such a strong strain in my personal identity that, of course, there was thoughts about what does this mean for me personally, what does it mean for people with disabilities in the United States? And knowing that there were likely to be some serious and severe cuts to services for people with disabilities across the country,
so that the things that are your supports daily aren’t there anymore. For people, for example, with physical disabilities, having personal care attendants come into their homes to be able to get them out of bed or to prepare food and just daily cares, those things are dependent on federal programs and state programs and so how those things would be affected was obviously on my mind.

TR:
We all have to consider not only our physical safety but our financial security as well.

Lolly:
By that time, I was already retired. I had worked for the state of Minnesota for over 18 years, and was starting down the road of learning to do audio description, so I had plans for my retirement, which I also knew might change because of the election, with Social Security potentially being affected, with Medicare potentially being affected as a senior, all of those things were on the table.

TR:
Soon after the election, what many of us who were paying attention anticipated, began.

No one had a crystal ball, the Heritage foundation Afterall published their plan – Project 2025.

— News coverage about aspects of Project 2025 that have been implemented.

Lolly:
I think a lot of us are still coming out of the trauma, and it’s not by any means over. Across the country are 2000 people being taken a day.

This surge here actually started with Homeland Security and ICE and Border Patrol here in December, but the actual influx of the 3,000 agents, and then they added more after that, didn’t really happen until early January. They focused on Minneapolis and St. Paul first, but then they also moved beyond the cities to areas in the state.

We saw people who were being taken literally off the streets. I mean, they would stop cars for no apparent reason other than the color of the individual skin, and they would just grab people, take them out of their cars. Cars got left in the middle of the streets.

TR:
The ICE surge put a real strain on Minneapolis city services. But neighbors moved into action.

Lolly told me about one man for example, who decided to help with all the abandoned cars.

Lolly:
He had a lot that he used, and he would put them in this place so that if people were released, they would know where their vehicle was.

Hyper local organizing started to happen here, and. Because we had networks that had been built up five years before during the George Floyd uprising, we had in place a lot of things that other cities didn’t have.

TR:
We’re talking about people tracking license plates of vehicles used by ICE. Folks capturing the harassment, intimidation and all sorts of incidents on video. Not just for social media. No.
We’re talking about video that can be used as evidence to bring about justice. Make a statement for the future.

“We’re not gonna take this!”

Lolly:
It was a very well run kind of network of folks who came together in a very short period of time to create a response to something that I don’t think any of us had ever seen before nor experienced before.

TR:
Freeze, flight… This is about fighting back, but perhaps not in the way you’re most familiar with.

Lolly:
It was really pretty amazing. It was all done by neighbors, and that’s what I mean by hyper local. We think of a lot of organizing as being statewide or regional or national, and that’s all important. But this became incredibly important so that people could actually respond nearly immediately to the situation at hand. That went on for a very long time. And then, of course, the second killing happened two weeks later.

TR:
I’m sure many of you remember the first ICE killing in Minneapolis; Renee Goode.

Lolly:
That morning I saw the coverage of Alex Preddy being killed.

I had joined a group called Singing Resistance, which grew out of the surge here, but has roots in singing and music, bringing music to situations like this, and how it can be a powerful mobilizer, but also it can be a powerful agent for change.

It was a very difficult day for everyone, so they took us through some breathing exercises, but then also just some songs that are civil rights kinds of songs, human rights kinds of songs, and we were together for probably 90 minutes to two hours that day, and it was, I think, the most therapeutic thing I could have done on that day.

TR:
There’s a real difference between experiencing something alone and having a chance to process it with a group of people.

Lolly:
The songs that they chose are not songs that a lot of us knew. So they did a lot of teaching of the music.

they do this call and response, and teach the song, and then have people sing it.

To have people learn music together and then end up in harmony at the end was just a very powerful experience.

TR:
It’s a beautiful metaphor of what is possible when people with good intentions come together.

Lolly’s introduction to the organization came from a Facebook post.

Lolly:
Some folks who belonged to the Quaker meeting I attend had been a part of the first singing resistance action. They were out in the neighborhoods that had been targeted, and they had some songs that they had chosen.

People in their houses were peeking out of their curtained windows, to see the singers outside. They got a lot of positive responses from folks in their houses who were in those neighborhoods that had been targeted, and I thought this is something I really want to be a part of. It’s something that fits for me. I love music. I love coming together in community in music.
The roots of this goes way back. there’s a lot of sort of spirituality to it, They’re not necessarily religious per se. This is really about being a human and helping other humans.

TR:
Enslaved Africans shared songs that weren’t just about grief or hope for a better day.
Many of them were coded messages to one another with instructions for escape.

Singing together during the Civil Rights Movement was also a way to
both strengthen bonds and keep people focused under severe pressure.

TR in conversation with Lolly:
I know that at some point in my life, my response to that would probably be like, whatever! It just doesn’t seem like it’s being all that helpful. But when you were describing it, and when you were talking about it, I was actually getting choked up, because I can see the value of that.
don’t tell anybody I said I was getting choked up. It’s gonna mess up my reputation.

TR:
You can’t broadcast everything to the world, right?
It makes sense to keep the organizing as secure as possible while making use of the technology available today.
This can however, make it hard for disabled people to learn about and participate in the organizing.

Lolly:
Yes. So the best way to learn about them was to join Signal and to get connected to some of the groups.

They form different groups depending on what you wanted to do, what roles you wanted to play. There was everything from people who were observers, rapid response folks. They would make sure that people in a given neighborhood knew that something was happening in their neighborhood.

TR:
That’s the Signal app you can download and join from your smart phone.

Lolly:
I had the challenge of trying to figure it out.
I knew a friend who was on it, and she helped me get on and create my own account, and we tested it and all of that, and then I kind of went from there.

And once the groups were being formed, you could contact them and ask for a link to be sent to you, and they would send you the link, and then you could join the group. But you kind of had to know somebody in the group, and that was challenging also because you had to start making those connections, which meant you had to do some outreach because there were security and trust issues too.

It was challenging because it’s created to be a secure app, and there’s often a clash between security and accessibility.)

TR:
We’re familiar with;
trying to navigate inaccessible or unusable apps, documents and websites.
encountering in accessible spaces
dealing with unresponsive developers, organizers and other people who can actually help make a difference

I was asked a question at one time by one of the facilitators, they asked what’s been successful what’s been good and what’s been hard and I said right straight out accessibility has been almost impossible.
I think she reacted a little defensively initially, but when her part was over. She came down from the front and she came and sat next to me and she said, “What can we do to make this different? And from then on, I had people who stepped forward in several different roles, and who would ask for input, and who tried their best to make things work, and sometimes succeeded, sometimes didn’t. But there were efforts put forth to do that, because she carried the message forward for me.

— Pulsating Emergency Horn, Incoming, Incoming! Sobering Reality Alert!

TR:
not everyone will be onboard working with disabled folks.
Like when Lolly volunteered to help a woman looking for assistance preparing flyers.

Lolly:
And she said, well, but you have to be able to cut these things apart. And I said, well, I have helpers, and they’re probably interested in this kind of thing. I can gather folks, we can do it together.

She just wasn’t open to it. She couldn’t hear that there were possible ways for me to be able to do this, and she just said,

— Combined with a monstrous voice
“No, I’m sorry. Thank you for being interested. So the door closed.
— Large metal door slamming shut.

TR:
That’s the thing about the isms. Specifically here, ableism.
Someone denies another person from participating. Meanwhile, they’re also depriving themselves from actually getting something done or reaching a goal.

It reminds me of the millions of disenfranchised people, poor people who support this administration.

“I love the poorly educated.”, President Chump!

Lolly:
I will say that was a hard thing, it wasn’t the biggest thing by any means, but it was one of those pivot points where you kind of have to make a decision about what you’re going to do and how you can do it and that sort of thing.

TR:
Even though we become familiar with these experiences, they are still difficult and in my opinion should never be thought of as standard or acceptable.

TR in conversation with Lolly:
So you had to be really intentional, not only about finding these outlets, but then of course making it accessible for you.

Lolly:
Yes, absolutely.

TR:
Lolly was resilient in her pursuit of getting involved. Even outside of the Singing Resistance, she found opportunities that fit her.

Lolly:
There were a lot of people, who were afraid to go out, and also afraid to drive their own vehicles because they were concerned that their license plates had been tracked.

So we had people who were trying to find rides. In this situation, it was a couple, both had jobs in different places, and they were working on their status. But things had not come through yet, and so they were very concerned. And so I was part of a group that was trying to find rides, basically exchanging text messages, trying to find rides for folks who were in need of transportation. And eventually, that did come together. It was a network, a very small network of folks who came together, that were able to provide rides.
Someone would pick them up in the morning, take them to work and someone would pick them up at night and take them home.

There were several people who volunteered to do this so it didn’t fall on one person.

TR:
Neighbors helping neighbors.
The result?
People were able to stay employed in order to feed and shelter themselves and their families.

Lolly shares some more examples of ways people can contribute to the effort.

Lolly:
There was so much. There were different ways that food was provided, you could deliver groceries to folks. if you were a person with a disability but had a car, you could still do something like that. I looked into it, and it would have been possible where they were packing boxes of food for people, and so that someone would take those and deliver them. But you didn’t have to be part of the actual delivery. You could just put the stuff in the boxes.

TR in conversation with Lolly:
(Sarcastically) But Lolly, you’re blind. You can’t put stuff in boxes.

Lolly:
Exactly! (Laughs)

TR:
Communication today requires a new set of skills. Therefore, the same is true for getting activated.

Lolly:
I’d done organizing where of course, we set up back in my day phone trees or fax trees or you know email lists or that kind of thing. This was different.
It had its ups and downs in terms of accessibility. It was a challenge, definitely.

It wasn’t insurmountable that there were things that weren’t possible, and it was really only because I was able to connect with some of the folks through some of the networks I got in touch with that I was able to do what I was able to do.

TR:
Some advice from Lolly on getting connected.

Lolly:
I think with those experiences now, I have a different outlook about how to make connections than I did as an advocate previously. I think this hyperlocal emphasis is really more important than we can ever emphasize.

Start to get to know the people in your building, in your block. Talk to people in your neighborhood, because that’s where you’re going to make connections.

TR in conversation with Lolly:
Let’s say you are new to a neighborhood. You don’t know many people. You’re a disabled person, and let’s say you’re not a natural extrovert.

Lolly:
You know that’s tough. I think you almost have to put yourself out and that’s always a risk because you don’t know what you’re going to get back and you don’t know how someone’s going to
receive your inquiry and your efforts to help.

even just a hello, starts the conversation.

TR:
Lolly recommends restaurants and coffee shops where customers and especially employees tend to be a bit more social and in the know about the community.

TR in conversation with Lolly:
So you’ve done it. It’s a risk.
you made a contribution in your way. Do you think it was worth the risk?

Lolly:
Yes, I do. I think that people who are either newly blind or new to vision loss don’t necessarily maybe have the confidence, and they might have had the skills before, but maybe that confidence has been dampened a bit.

I think I go into this with the attitude that I know every time I do this, I am going to probably have some bad experiences, probably have some feelings that get hurt, probably not really like a lot of what happens, but if I can keep my eyes on the prize and remember why I’m doing it, and what is important to me, which is that part of being in community and trying to make a difference. Then I can find ways to mitigate those things that don’t happen that I wish would have happened, and to find ways to try and make things happen.

TR:
Some additional advice from Lolly. First, tap into your own support system.

Lolly:
Sometimes it’s just expressing to somebody else, it was really a screwed up day. Nothing went well. I tried these things; they didn’t work. I don’t know where to go next. And someone might have an answer, and they might not. But if you keep putting it out there, somebody might come forward with something that works for you.

You can’t do it alone, is what I found. You really do have to share some of that sort of disappointment and frustration with other people because that’s what helps keep you going.

I think the best advice is to stay open, to think about what skills and abilities do you have? And every one of us has things they can offer. What can you share? Where is it best to try and plug in. And even if you’re having trouble, finding places that you can continue to try.

TR:
That’s a key element right there. Persistence.

Lolly:
It’s been my experience, that disability often becomes the last on the laundry list, so to speak, or gets forgotten altogether.

And when I was struggling with some of this, what I kept hearing was openness to immigrants, openness to people from the LGBTQ community, but I didn’t hear disability mentioned much until I had the conversation with the person who really kind of helped turn things around, and then I found many people who were willing to do that, but I had to be willing to be honest about it and say this isn’t working for me, and this is why, and this is what I need.

If you’re not at the table, your needs will likely not be met or heard.

TR in conversation with Lolly:
Yeah, that sounds like some great advice. In the end, what did you gain from participating? How did it make you feel?

Lolly:
Much more a part of the community of people who were going through these experiences, and while so many people had different roles, the one thing that all of us shared was we were in a situation we did not ask for, and we were forced into having to create these options and these avenues for connection, and some just amazing things came out of that, and it shows how when you think you know the worst is happening. Sometimes it is, but also at the same time, because two things can be true at the same time, at least two things, then there also are good things that are happening in other places or in places where you’ve been trying to make a difference.

You can make a difference.

TR:
For whatever reason, making a difference, can feel really important to many of us. If we’re not working towards that goal, then we’re going to feel unfulfilled.

It’s not even about the level of difference being made. Most often you won’t know what that actually is. But that’s not the point. It’s about the effort we put out. The energy we share with the world. Lolly said it earlier;

Lolly:
This is really about being a human and helping other humans.

TR:
I hope producing this series of episodes is one way for me to make my small contribution to the collective energy.

Big, big, big shout out to Lolly Lijewski.

I’ve gotten to know Lolly a bit over the past year or so and one thing I can say, her ability to be persistent is real.
It’s admirable and quite honestly can serve as a real guide for us all. It has for me.

That’s why, Lolly, you are an official member of the Reid My Mind Radio family!

We will continue exploring the different ways we can fight back.
So, stay tapped in by following or subscribing to Reid My Mind Radio wherever you get podcasts.
We have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com

The good thing about this podcasts is we’re not covert, we’re not underground., there’s no secret signal or code to gain access.
You just have to spell it right…
That’s R to the E I D!

Like my last name!

— Reid My Mind Radio Outro
Peace!

Hide the transcript

TR:
Hosting and producing a podcast alone, requires taking on multiple roles.
Ring master, assuring everyone in the audience is aware and entertained. Knowing when to bring out the next act, do something silly to make an audience member giggle a bit or call in the clowns.

We juggle all sorts of responsibilities, walk a fine line when picking and choosing what to include or leave out of an episode.
Hopefully, we make it look easy so others can simply enjoy themselves and walk away feeling informed, uplifted, encouraged with a smile on their face.
With that said, there’s only one way to kick off this first episode of our Flipping the Script on Audio Description season.

Brian:
ladies and gentlemen children of all ages. I’m Brian Velazquez from Omnium circus. We would like to welcome you and your family to Reid My Mind Radio!

Now here’s your host Thomas Reid!

TR:
(Energetically)
See, now that’s how you do it baby! Let’s go!

Audio Reid My Mind Theme Music

TR:
It was summer, 2023 and I’m at an event at the Lighthouse in New York city. It was my first time there. I was in conversation with someone when soon after a young gentleman introduced himself to me.

Brian:
My name is Brian Velasquez. I am the Outreach Coordinator, with Omnium a bold new circus.

TR:
He went on to tell me a little about the circus when I quickly realized I not only heard of them but I wanted them on the podcast. They’re a perfect fit.

Omnium not only provides an accessible experience to the children of all ages, but many of the acts include disabled performers.

TR in Conversation with Brian:
Tell me a little bit about how you came to learn about and work with Omnium circus.

Brian:
. Growing up, I used to love going to the circus when I was little. But as with all things I grew out of it. Long and behold I start my first year of college.
I’ve always wanted to be a Braille teacher, that was my mind set since I was around so many Braille teachers growing up.

TR:
Soon after beginning his course work in education, Brian realized he really wasn’t interested in being a teacher. So he moved from the school of education and discovered therapeutic recreation.

Brian:
Continued with that work with geriatrics. Graduated with a degree in therapeutic rec in 2015.

TR:
Soon after, Brian began working at Coney Island Hospital.

— “Where Brooklyn at…” Notorious BIG

Brian:
I implemented a program with the residents where we learned about the loading and unloading of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum Bailey Circus train. So we watched a video on that we did some threading, we answered questions, we discussed it. And a little sparked started to form.

TR:
It wasn’t the first time Brian used the circus as a way to facilitate therapy in his work.
I don’t think he ever so called “grew out” of his love for the circus. And why should he?

Brian:
Little by little something begins to draw me back.
I come across Lisa Lewis because I look up tickets to go to the Big Apple Circus in New York City.
I saw they needed a volunteer for circus of the senses. I was like why not? It wasn’t gonna affect work. So I connected with Lisa B. Lewis.
And the rest is history.

Lisa:
My name is Lisa Lewis and I am the founder and executive director of Omnium circus. I am five foot tall, I have dark brown hair, relatively pale skin, red glasses. Generally I’m wearing red lipstick. My pronouns are she and her.

TR:
As it turns out, these two, Brian and Lisa actually have a history together.

Lisa:
Brian was eight years old and came to circus of the senses. He loved it. He came every year. I know Brian, I know his classmates, I knew his teachers. We’ve all stayed very good friends.
I just adore Brian. He’s so smart. His insights are so interesting. I’m a big, big, big, big, big Brian fan.

So fast forward a bunch of years. And Brian wanted to come and be a part of the circus.
At that time, I was still with Big Apple. So I said, Why don’t you come Be Our Guest ringmaster for circus of the senses.

TR:
The Big Apple Circus which began in 1977 is a one ring circus mostly residential to New York City. Community involvement and outreach has always been a part of their philosophy.

Circus of the senses was the Big Apple Circus outreach to children with disabilities.

Lisa:
So they would give away tickets to kids with disabilities. And we provided audio description, American Sign Language interpreters. And that really kind of clicked to listen to people to realize their enjoyment to know that these people wanted to love the circus just as much as everybody else wants to love the circus. And a simple access was all that’s needed to be able to include them in this popular entertainment. And they only got it once a season same now with Broadway shows. If you’re deaf and you want to see an interpreted show, you only get one shot at it. To me, that’s just not right. I always thought how, how could we make this so that anybody can come to any show?

TR:
That question would ultimately lead to the creation of Omnium Circus.

Lisa:
I eventually ran the program. I eventually split it off so that we had one show for people for whom the access of audio description and American Sign Language was beneficial and Another one for people with sensory needs, and autism. So we created two different programs.

And then finally, by the time the pandemic had hit, and everybody was kind of sitting around I thought,? could we create a show that not only was accessible to everybody, at any show?

TR:
Looking even further at the make up of the circus, Lisa noticed other disparities.

Lisa:
I live in New York City. This is not a monochromatic place. This is an incredibly diverse and vibrant community. And we thrive for our diversity, because we each have so much to offer.

Could we bring that to the ring? So that was part of what I was thinking, Could we do that?

TR:
Lisa wanted to bring all of that to the ring.

But this was during the pandemic, so Lisa had to use a different approach.

Lisa:
We made a virtual version.

we pull together a group of artists from all over the world from all different abilities to really showcase the beauty of the human spirit. And we collaborated with an organization in New York, called Disability unite. And we created a platform online that would provide for different channels of simultaneous access.

TR:
That included audio description, captions, Spanish language translation…

Lisa:
As a person who signs I got really tired of looking to the side to watch the interpreter and missing all the action. To me, that was annoying and a circus. So I wanted it integrated, I wanted the person who was signing a, to be deaf and b, to make sure that it was integrated and part of the action.

. So you’re still enjoying the same show at the same level. That’s equity. Then we put it out. Let’s just see what happens. And we ended up getting almost 30,000 people watching it in 16 states and five countries.
That gave us the energy to say, Okay, let’s see what we got to do to make this a reality.

TR:
this performance called “A Celebration of Diversity” is still available for purchase on Eventbrite. I’ll link you to it directly on this episode’s blog post at ReidMyMind.com.

TR in conversation with Lisa:
So how big is your organization?

Lisa:
Our whole organization is actually not that big.

Twenty five percent of our performers have disabilities. Forty percent of our overall organization have disabilities. The performers are obviously the largest part of our company.

Outside of performers There are maybe eight of us. Nine. Well, we’re small and mighty.

TR in Conversation with Brian:
What do you do as an outreach coordinator?

Brian:
I reach out to organizations, such as schools, community centers, NFB, ACB

It is a little scary at first, especially reaching out to schools, it’s a little daunting, but I’m starting to getting used to that more. Most people. They’re like, Oh, wow, send me information.

I work remotely.

we all work as a team when it comes to outreach. We have someone that does flyers for us, we have someone that may send a couple of emails for us to help out. So all the work is spread out evenly so we can all work together as a team and do the best we can to get people in seats.

— Music Begins Quarter note hi hat open to a slow bass heavy groove.

TR:
The best way to get people in the seats is to have great performers.

Lisa:
Some of the acts in the show, especially this year are just incredible.

We have a young woman who plays our lead, who is the world’s fastest juggler. Our choreographer and onsite director who also does a crossbow act just set the Guinness Book of World Records, because he shot a crossbow looking into a mirror over his right shoulder 25 feet to hit an apple off the top of his wife’s head.

TR in conversation with Lisa:
Oh my god. How long were they married?

Lisa:
They’re still married!

TR in conversation with Lisa:
I’m gonna ask my wife after this is done.

Lisa & TR Laugh!

Lisa:
We have a dancer who’s a seven time NCAA gymnastics champion, who also is a wheelchair user, who does a beautiful, beautiful acrobatic dance.

We have a gorgeous aerialist, who also came up through the world of gymnastics and does this beautiful aerial silks duet with her husband.

Brian:
It’s done by Miss Chandrika Bower and Dominic Bower. And the husband plays the trombone during part of the act and it is just such a beautiful act. You see the romance? You see the passion.

TR in Conversation with Brian:
He’s in the air playing trombone? Oh my gosh!

Lisa:
It’s just this gorgeous love story. She happened to have been born without legs.

Brian:
We have a female ringmaster. Danette Shepard Vaughan. African American. She is phenomenal.

Lisa:
She’s got this gorgeous, Jazzy singing voice and her partner. We call the character of the poet who is a full dancer. He is death and he performs the entire show in ASL.

Brian:
And we have another act that I like is the King Charles troupe?
I don’t know if you’re familiar with them?

TR in Conversation with Brian:
Wait, are they on the unicycles?

Brian:
Yes, they are.

TR
I remember seeing this talented group who perform these amazing basketball acrobatic stunts on unicycles. I first saw them when my oldest daughter was only about two or three. They performed with the UniverSoul Circus. We went at least twice. During one performance, I actually got picked from the audience to go into the ring and dance with ReRun from the show What’s Happening. You know, Roger, Dee, Dwayne? Shirley from the diner?

— Transition – Theme music from “What’s Happening”

TR in conversation with Lisa:
I’m really curious. How do you go about finding these acts?

Lisa:
We have the world’s most amazing artistic director. His name is Noe Espana. He has sixth generation fifth generation circus. His wife is sixth or seventh sixth generation circus. His kids are now Seventh Generation circus. And they know everybody, Noe finds our acts. He creates the shows. He writes the shows. He puts everything together. He is a creative genius. Wow. Okay. And we take applications, although, in all fairness, you gotta be good. (Laughs) Be really good. Noe’s picky.

TR in Conversation with Lisa:
Yeh, so you’re getting people walking in off the street like “Hey, I want to apply for the circus?”

TR:
Duh! I know that’s not the case.
Obviously circus performers require a lot of skill that come from years of practice and experience. Many begin perfecting their acts from childhood.

Lisa’s love for the circus also began as a child, but it wasn’t until she attended college where she came across the opportunity to get involved.

Lisa:
One of my roommates was trying to teach me how to juggle. I was a miserable failure. But I was in the theater department and Ringling Brothers had just posted an audition for clown College.

She goes, Why don’t you go try out this audition, at least maybe you’ll learn to juggle. So I went to the audition. And I fell in love.
I felt like yes, this is where I belong.
I was one of 50 students out of a pool of over 2000 [that were accepted that particular year.]
And in 1986, I went to Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey circus clown College, and my journey began.

TR:
In addition to clown college, Lisa did finish her degree and went on to get a Masters in Circus history.

Lisa:
Circus is an art form and always has been an art form. That can include so many people, because it’s not a language based art form. It’s not an intellect based art form. It’s a heart. It’s a feeling. It’s a visceral enjoyment. And so it can bring all kinds of communities together, and has been since the beginning of time.

TR:
That ability to bring people together made it an effective way to impact society.

(Lisa:
the electric light bulb was introduced in a circus, because everyone was afraid of it. So the circus was the first to light with electric light bulbs to show everyone that that was okay.

Barnum introduced the horseless carriage in a circus. Cars started becoming popular. So it’s a really wonderful way of reaching large groups of people.

I love it for its ability to include. I love it for its ability to entertain. I love it for its ability to showcase the best of the best. It’s like watching the Olympics. You see the best of the best people who’ve spent their lives for generations dedicated to learning a specific art form and you see what amazing things the human body can accomplish all bodies, any shapes, any sizes, anything. The amazing accomplishments of the human spirit.

TR in conversation with Lisa:
What’s the relationship between freak shows and circus?
Lisa 50
I’m actually really glad you asked that question.

So back in time, humanity was a lot less advanced. There were different water fountains, there were different bathrooms. We weren’t real nice to each other, to say the least,
And one of those not very nice things. Concerned persons with disabilities. They were thrown in institutions, they were drowned. They were killed. They were hidden away. They were not given respect as individuals.

TR
As awful as that sounds, Lisa points out a very real and practical side.

Lisa:
So the freak show, quote, unquote, at that time, provided viable employment when people couldn’t get jobs. No one would hire you if you had a disability. The Circus provided employment, you could buy a house you could raise your family, they had a life they had a community to become involved with.
the circus created a very positive space within a very negative paradigm.
So we’re reclaiming the paradigm, but not showing people because of what makes them different than 75% of the world. But what makes them unique and special and their incredible talent and artistry to lift them up. So that the world can see that we all are people and inside each one of us is a beautiful gift, regardless of the body to which you are born or the skin you are in.

TR:
Lisa went on to work for Ringling Brothers, freelanced as a clown and ended up working in the Clown Care Unit, an outreach program of the Big Apple Circus.
Clown Care Clown Doctors are specially selected professional performers who are trained to work in the sensitive hospital environment. Using minimal make-up, evocative costumes, juggling, comedy, magic and music these “clown doctors” help ease the stress of illness and aid in a patients’ healing.
In pairs they make “ Clown Rounds” visiting children throughout the hospital from bedside to all sorts of patient encounters.

Meet Lisa’s former clown doctor partner, Liz Bolick.

Liz:
I go by she her hers pronouns. I am six feet tall, with reddish brown hair to my shoulders a little bit curly. I have an oval face, I’m a Caucasian woman kind of shapely.

Liz:
I had worked with the Big Apple Circus for many, many years in New York City as a performer, and as a clown doctor in the clown care unit, working with their specialty programs with hospital clowning. And then I started doing pre show for the circus of the senses,.

Lisa Lewis approached me and asked me if I’d be interested in being an audio describer. I said, Sure. That sounds cool. How do you do that?

TR in conversation with Liz:
Oh my goodness.
I used to go to New York Hospital. On the east side?
I used to love the clowns. I used to have such a good time.

Liz

How old were you?

TR in Conversation with Liz:
I was a grown ass man.
The clowns and I would connect because I’m hysterical. And they’re like this is the only person who really seems to be enjoying this.

Liz:
I was at New York Hospital. for 20 years doing it at New York Hospital, Columbia Presbyterian. Then I went out to Einstein in the Bronx. Your doctor sneakers, that was me.

TR in conversation with Liz:
Wow. Okay.

Liz 24
you probably saw me play. Crazy high top sneakers on. That’s how kids remembered me buy my shoes
TR in conversation with Liz:
I would look forward to go just to see the clowns.

Liz:
Well, it makes me happy that we made a difference in that in those moments for you. Right.

TR in conversation with Liz:
Absolutely.
I think for other parents, it was just a little levity.
It was really nice.

Liz:
Great for the staff to sometimes a little joy. It just breaks people out of their sorrow or their stress for five seconds. Yeah. And it makes a difference. And so I’m blessed to have done it.

TR:
To continue providing access to joy, Lisa signed Liz up for a two week audio description course at the Theater Development Fund.

In addition to AD training, TDF offers Accessibility Programs that provide a membership service for theatregoers with disabilities that require some form of access including wheelchair seating, captions, ASL and audio description. You can check them out at TDF.org.

Liz:
I found it fascinating. And then one day, she said, Alright, jump in. I said You mean today.

TR:
Just like making clown doctor rounds, at Omnium, audio description is done in pairs.

Liz was paired with Carl Anthony Tramon.

(Liz:
I was absolutely nervous. But she had Carl there as the audio describer, who is brilliant and has done this for years and years and years. And she said, just jump in and work with Carl.

it was one of the best things I ever did.

I remember sitting next to Carl, and I was sweating. I was so scared. And I turned to Carl and I said, Do you have any advice for me, and he turned to me with this big smile on his face and said, just talk like it’s a conversation. So imagine we’re kids seeing the circus for the first time. And let’s describe what we see and have fun.

I had this great experience. And I got to work with a master. Of course. Generally, you don’t get to work as a team. But I think I was extremely lucky that not only did I get placed with a partner, my first experience, but Carl Tramon, was that partner.

TR:
Unfortunately, Carl was not available for this interview but brother, if you’re listening,
I’m extending an open invitation to you to come on the podcast
and share your experience with audio description.

Although Liz was new to AD, the skills she gained as a clown doctor were perfect for describing a live circus.
Liz:
It makes you very present. And you have to be in the moment. And there’s nothing more in the moment than audio description,

You really have to be aware of what’s happening right in that second.

TR:
Being prepared to respond quickly to something unexpected is crucial in live description. However, there’s still a lot of preparation that goes into the role.

Liz:
I’m somebody that likes a lot of rehearsal and likes to feel really prepared. So I’m usually over prepared.

I get to know the individual acts, I like to look up their websites know what skills they’re doing, what’s a history of their family? How do you pronounce their name? If they’re doing a Diablo act? What’s the history of that Diablo? That’s a Chinese yo, yo, what are the terms for it? I’ll watch YouTube videos of how to do Diablo and it’ll give me all these terms.

TR:
Those unfamiliar with the process of AD are surprised by the amount of research and preparation required to write effective description. Even when it appears to be spontaneous.

And of course, whenever possible, go to the source.

Liz:
I like to speak to the artists directly if I can.

I’m lucky because I’ve been part of circus for so many years that I understand a lot of the acts.

What is the seer real? What is the Hulu back? What are the aerialists? What’s a tight rope? What’s a high wire? I know a lot of what these acts are, but describing them to someone who’s never seen them was the trick. So I needed to increase my vocabulary, but also make it down to earth simplistic and really describe what the actual physical movements of the body and the person are not necessarily technical terms.

So it’s like preparing for a role in the theater and then you have to throw it away and be in the moment.

TR:
Liz, who is also a costume designer and producer, brings all of that plus her extensive knowledge and experience as a circus performer to AD. The combination of her and Carl who she says is great at describing the technical enables her to sprinkle interesting facts about other details.

Liz:
So I can talk about the sparkling outfits and what they’re made of, I can talk about the Top Hats and the colors of the lights changing from a design point of view, a costume point of view, and you don’t always have time for all of that. So I also do a big prep, I also have quite a bit of pre show available that I rewrite in advance, so that if kids come 15 minutes early, and if technically have time in the theater, I can give a lot of background on each and every act, or the biggest moments, including costumes and descriptions of the people in the show that you may not have time for in the moment. Because circus happens really fast.

TR:
This sounds like the approach heard in sports. Play by play commentator paired with another who provides interesting facts and adds color to the broadcast.

Liz:
For me, it’s the essence of what’s happening emotionally, for the audience, because it helps bring them into the moment of the danger of the excitement and the anticipation of the moment that maybe they’re going to miss or maybe they’re going to make it. Now those things I think innately are in the timing and the tenor of my voice. I think it makes a better show.

I’ll go like (Starts in a whisper and moves to louder more excited voice) “And now, walking up the thing, and the thing and they turn and they flip and they go!”

TR in conversation with Liz:
And that’s such a big difference from standard audio description for a film or a Broadway production. Have you ever done any of those?

Liz:
I’m starting to really

TR in conversation with Liz:
Okay, So what’s the difference like for you? Because it’s less emoting.

Liz:
First, that was shocking. I couldn’t even speak. Like, I’m sitting there, I say, and he moves on, and the lights come up, and then they talked for like, 30 minutes. It was so weird for me. I’m used to talking non stop because you can’t talk over the dialog, right.
So then you kind of have to follow a script. But if I’m following a script, I’m not in the moment as much.

TR:
Being in the moment never replaces the need for preparation.

Liz:
I would watch the videos over and over and over again, if I get my hands on them. I go to a dress rehearsal , and then I’ll go to a show. So there’s a ton of prep.

TR:
This is a public service announcement!

If we do the math and calculate the hourly rate based on the actual amount of time put into preparing and describing live theater, well, let’s just say this group is highly under paid.

Automation and artificial intelligence isn’t the way to resolve that rather it’s changing the way we think about access.

That concludes our public service announcement.

Liz:
I would try to talk to the producers in the playwrights and the actors, I still like to ask an actor how they want to be called.
How do they want to be described not necessarily how I would see them.

Different people from all races and cultures want to be described differently.

TR in conversation with Liz:
Is it easier within the circus to get access then in Broadway or Off Broadway plays?

Liz:
It’s easier for me in the circus because generally like Omnium I’ve been with them for so many years. I know a lot of people, these are my friends. I’m doing one show for a whole season.

TR:
Outside of Omnium, Liz doesn’t always have the opportunity or permission to directly speak with the performers. But, Liz is spunky, she was a clown after all!

Liz:
I’ll just show up grab people. While they’re offstage, I’ll just show up and work my way and being sweet and funny. That always works. Kindness goes a long way. I think most people feel happy that you’re asking.

TR in conversation with Liz:
It’s a combination of probably parents and children. Who are you describing for in your mind?

Liz:
More like family audiences. I think the good thing about the circus is that anyone in that room feels like they’re five years old. First of all, but you can’t talk down to people and especially children, like children are a lot smarter and hipper than anything. So even when I’m working with a two year old, I’m not treating them like a baby.
Fun and energetic but not too super technical.

TR in conversation with Liz:
do you have any favorite acts that stick out to you that you really like to describe?

Liz:
Well, I love to describe the clown acts, because I’m a clown myself. So I love to describe the comic timing.

I like to add narrative to a silent comedy routine. is really fun because I’m a silent comedian, physical comedian.

TR in conversation with Liz:
What type of things are you describing?

Liz:
Well, like their first facial expressions, like if you have a comedy team, like we have dick and Tiffany, Monday and Riley in the show, I’ve known them their whole lives. So like, take a look over at her she’ll kind of flip her head. And it’d be like, she’s not super happy. He better watch out. She’s gonna smack him on. Oops, she did. She smacked him on the butt.

Liz:
there’s like silly beats that happened.

TR:
With two describers, Liz and Carl can bounce off one another to really bring out the emotion of what’s taking place visually.

Liz:
He’ll be like, Oh, no, he didn’t. And I go, Oh, yes, he did. Like, well, we get into like a comedy routine about it. We’ll do it together.

We have a pretty good trading off back and forth repartee that goes on, and just happens naturally.
And we’re lucky because we can both improvise really? Well. He’s a great actor, singer, dancer, Director. So we’re both good at improvising. And I think we’re both aware of each other’s strengths, I would say. Plus, we would do the same show over and over, especially at the very beginning, we did the same show, like for an entire season. So then you have your rhythm and beats and we’re kind of rehearsed in a way we kind of go oh, we kind of know each other’s parts a little bit. That’s

TR in conversation with Liz:
That’s like a show within the show.

TR:
The circus is about two hours with a 15 minute intermission. I can imagine it really helps to have multiple describers working together.

Omnium also offers one hour special events for schools. Exposing even more children to the joys of the circus.

In fact, during some of the special events, some of these children may not realize it, but the ring master was once in their seat.

Brian:
. Ladies and gentleman now.
Um, woof. My neighbors are probably like, What the heck is he doing?

I’ve been really learning about circus.

The ring masters used to use these booming voices because back in the day, there was no microphones.
There was a term called Barker.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, step right up, step right up. Hurry, hurry. Not sure if it was the same concept as the ringmaster. But it was kind of similar, but then the ringmaster wouldn’t have a mic neither. So they would have to project their voice and otherwise, you wouldn’t hear anything.

So that’s why there’s been a tradition of keeping the voice, they had to use those big, loud heavy duty. Voice commands.

TR:
That’s right, Brian has served as ring master during some of these events, which sometimes offer open audio description.

TR in Conversation with Brian:
So while you ring mastering Do you listen to it as well.

Brian:
Oh, my goodness, good question.
I was able to follow through with the audio description cues. That helped me a lot immensely when it came to, you know, okay. It’s time for me to say this, or Okay, I’m gonna do this now.

TR:
It’s always important to remind folks that access is not just about consumption. Disabled folks are not only participants, but we are makers of art, content, technology, accessibility and more. Removing this perspective of the conversation continues to leave us out of all sorts of spaces.

So what other access is available at Omnium?

Brian:
we have open ASL in the show. You’re gonna see everything that’s said in the show. What the ringmaster is saying everything. What the Ringmasters singing all that you you’ll be able to see it because there is live open ASL interpretation at the show.

sensory friendly, very important. For those who are neurodiverse who may be sensitive to sound or light. The house lights are not completely off. And the sound decibels
at a decibel where it’s suitable for everyone.

We have a common area with little activities you can do like markers or drawing
you’re gonna have your few people that may be a little overwhelmed that need a break. And that’s okay.

TR:
Of course that includes wheel chair access and closed captions wherever possible.
Brian
we want it to be as inclusive as possible for all, that’s why we are America’s first comprehensively inclusive circus.

TR:
Big shout out to Brian Velasquez, Lisa Lewis and Liz Bolick, you’re each official members of the Reid My Mind Radio Family.

I don’t care who you are, if you’re hearing or reading this episode, Omnium is for you. Take your children, grand children, students, athletes … you can always take me, I’m a forever five year old.

Honestly, I wanted to get out to see them when they were in New York this year but unfortunately scheduling didn’t workout. But I will get there and hope you do the same.

For the current schedule and links to social media visit OmniumCircus.org.

Another Public service announcement If you’re not registered to vote, please do so.
We’re in some serious times and I hope and encourage you all to get out there and vote. In person or absentee mail in, I really don’t care, just make it happen.

I appreciate you rocking with Reid My Mind Radio wherever you get podcasts. We have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com.

It’s come to my attention that some don’t think I spell it enough… seriously!
You got to spell it right, that’s R to the E I D!
— Sample (“D! And that’s me in the place to be.” Slick Rick)

Like my last name!
— Reid My Mind Radio outro
Peace!

Hide the transcript

“Good Evening!”
Music begins: A funky break beat loop.

TR:
Tribe and trust!

Tribe and trust.

These were the two themes in the last episode with film maker Andres Jay Molina.
Well, for me at least, it was apparent that they play a big roll in the adjustment process. Not just for Jay, but in some way for us all.

When I refer to tribe, I’m talking about a community of people you identify with. Typically this includes support, encouragement and collaboration. It’s not about the number of people but rather the quality of the relationships.

Then there’s trust. First in yourself. As in having the courage and strength to live, speak and move through life in your truth. Whatever that is!

Then, trusting in others.

Even if their not a part of the tribe, which can test a person’s ability to trust.

For this final self portrait, I decided to sit with these things. Ask myself, “how do these things fit into my life today?”

Going into this episode reminds me of how I used to feel when my girls were younger and they’d sit with me in the kitchen as I prepare a dinner every now and then.

“Baby girls”, I’d say to them, ” I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but I guess we’ll see!”

And then one of my girls would say, “Daddy, you’re Blind, you can’t see! And then we’d laugh.

— TR & daughters in conversation laughing.

Take a listen to the episode featuring my girls earlier this season and you’ll definitely get an understanding of our humor and communication style.

I’m Thomas Reid and you are now rocking with Reid My Mind Radio!
— Reid My Mind Radio Intro
Andres “Jay” Molina:
When I first got to the nursing home I didn’t know anybody of course, So I was just hanging out by myself. And then one of the nurses told me, go outside, there’s people just like you, young like you, and you can talk to them.

But when I saw these guys actually, one of them looked Dominican, I’m Dominican.
And that attracted me more.
And as soon as I approached them, they just looked at me and saidcome on man you with us.
and I started hanging out with them.
And that’s when we became friends.

TR:
I wasn’t in any way alone during my early days of blindness. I had my family and some close friends. I even found another brother who I could speak with about this new experience we shared.

Yet, when I heard Jay talk about meeting the other brothers outside the nursing home, it reminded me how I wanted more of that in my early days of blindness.

Today, I believe what I wanted was acceptance and brotherhood. People in my life who really understood what I was now experiencing.
My family and others were sympathetic but sometimes you just want to be around those who you know just get it.

Details matter in relationships.

When I asked Jay for example, what was it about the group of guys hanging outside of the nursing home, that made him feel their words,

Andre Jay Molina:
Come on you’re with us.

TR:
… were true?

He was quick to say, they looked like him. They weren’t dopple gangers.
They just shared a culture and background. A Style of dress, haircuts or the way you wear your hat. It’s recognizable.

— Can’t Stop Won’t Stop, PCB Convention!

TR:
I used to serve as the Conference Coordinator for the Pennsylvania Council of the Blind.
During this one conference in Johnstown PA, a hotel employee, asks me, “Where you from? You’re not from out here.”, he says. “Are you from New York?”

That’s all she wrote. He and I started talking and as he noted, living out there in Johnstown, he was really home sick and didn’t really ever get the chance to kick it with someone in that way. It’s in the vibe. The way you say something as in more than the words. It’s understood. No explanations necessary.

For the rest of that weekend and even the next time we were in that hotel, if he saw me, he was going to stop and try to resume our conversation. I felt bad because I was busy and often couldn’t chat as much as I would have liked to. I too was missing that familiarity. I just wasn’t in the position to kick it. But I appreciated him.

There’s something funny about being away from home and finding someone else from your town that makes you immediately bond with them. I’m sure this applies to others, but I can tell you there’s definitely a New York thing that happens when we’re out of town.

I’ve been all sorts of places, thousands of miles away from home and all of a sudden, you make eye contact with someone and one of you immediately knows.. “You from New York bro?” I’ve met people who I believe if something broke out where ever we were at the time, they’d have my back just on some we’re both from NYC type of thing. But if we were in NYC, chances are we wouldn’t speak to one another.

That’s so funny! And yet awful and real.

Wehn you’re new to disability, you can feel as if you’re in a foreign land right in your own neighborhood.

The idea of recognizing home in someone is probably relateable to us all.

In that space with the Pennsylvania Council of the Blind, it took some time to feel like a part of the group. But if I’m being honest, something was missing for me that could have made that feel more like my tribe.

From the moment I attended my first conference, there were those in the group who weren’t welcoming.
That’s to be expected. I don’t think they liked me, my style or my ideas.
The fact that I was rolling with a crew of people who were either new to blindness or new to the organized blind environment.

We were also interested in having a good time and hyping ourselves up. Ok, I probably did a lot of the hyping up.
Most of the people seemed to enjoy and appreciate that but there were definitely those who turned their noses up to that sort of thing.

Even years later, after all of the work put into the organization it just wasn’t feeling like home. i chalked it up to not being from PA.

Truth is, even though I lived here for over twenty years now, I just can’t seem to claim it like that. I’m not PA.
I’m always NYC.

Don’t get me wrong, I truly love and deeply appreciate the people in PCB and what I was able to learn both from them directly and through all of the interactions and experiences.

Today, I’m older and still sort of feel a desire to find my tribe, but I now believe that there’s not one for me. Rather, there are multiple communities that fulfill me in different ways and at different times.

A disability centered space is something I find myself wanting to be around.
Not all the time, but that free flowing accesible environment like we used to create with the PCB in person conference is a great space to explore and feel what the world can be with a bit of access.

Access is just part of the story.
If you’re a person with multiple identities, inclusion means you’re able to comfortably express your full self.
You shouldn’t have to deny some aspect of who you are in order to be accepted.

For so long, there weren’t many places outside of my home and among my family, where I felt I can be my full self.

That’s not on anyone but me.

There are people I’m around today where I feel much more comfortable being myself.
Some of that is because they are accepting, but a bigger part is me.
I just care less today about what other people think.

Maybe I’m just more comfortable with who I am as a person?

This is definitely about blindness.

By the time I became Blind, I was quite secure with myself as a Black man. But sometimes I still feel as though I’m in search of my tribe. The place I can bring my full self. My Black,which includes my Puerto Rican, my Blind, Bronx, my very silly and nerdy self.

I’ve been promising my family that this is the year I grow up since forever! Forget that, I’m staying five for as long as I’m alive!

Is there a place that would welcome all of me?

Unfortunately, organizations may think they’re welcoming of everyone, but individuals that make up the organization don’t necessarily subscribe to that same idea. Even if they think they do, their actions aren’t always inline with that philosophy.

Everything is fine when it’s obvious you’re all headed to the same destination.
You’re on cruise control. Things seem to change though, when you hit an intersection. And when that is at the corner of let’s say Blind and Black for example, well the degree of openness and brother and sisterhood get’s tested. Welcoming, inclusion, diversity, all that stuff you said you are actually get’s tested.

If you’re a part of such an organization, look around and if those who you met at the intersection are gone, well, you probably failed.
Perhaps it’s time to stop saying you’re welcoming and actually become that.

As disabled people, so much of our lives are impacted by access.

The spaces we visit, the content and information we consume, the types of services we use. It all boils down to physical, digital or some other form of accessibility.

If I’m interested in participating in an event or getting involved with a non blindness organization, I have to think about and plan around accessibility. I need to be prepared to spend time working through a website or app.
Ready to take a picture of a hand out circulated during an event in order to have my phone read it.
Ask for some sort of direction in a new physical space.

Truth is most organizations like people, never consider accessibility. They never had to think about it.

Similarly,organizations with very low or no participation from Black people and others of color, may not recognize the exclusion. Or should I say non-inclusion? (Laughs)

The problem is when any of these organizations say they are inclusive but don’t take any meaningful steps to actually change.
Therefore, my Black and or my Blind are not really welcomed.

Is it really a community if my access needs aren’t being met but culturally I’m included? Can I consider myself a part of a community when all of my access needs are met, but I have to leave my culture at the door.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that this affects my participation.

Or is that what they wanted all along?

Then they were never about community.

— DJ Scratch transition

TR:
I could imagine that some people found it strange when Jay mentioned that he and the other fellas didn’t immediately trust Jennilee Brewster.

If you recall, the group of brothers would gather outside the nursing home. Smoke a little weed. You know, just chillin’. And yes, at the time, weed wasn’t legal in New York.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
And then we had this white woman coming around asking questions. She was being really persistent.

TR:
I won’t beat around the bush here, these brothers most likely were concerned that Ms. Brewster could be a Karen.

A white lady asserting her privilege and budding into the lives and business of others, especially people of color.

You can find lots of examples of Karen’s at work on YouTube today thanks to smart phones and the ease of recording.

I’m in no way suggesting you go down that rabbit hole. It leads to all sorts of racists encounters that has an under current of possible violence. Plus watching mentally unstable people shouldn’t be entertainment.

For those who are actually named Karen, I feel for you.
But you have nothing to worry about if you’re not the type of person to racially profile people. There’s no need to be offended if you’re not the type of person to call the police on little Black children selling lemonade outside their own homes.

For Black people and others of color, these experiences aren’t knew at all. They’re just documented now.

Whether in corporate environments, schools, social settings, just about everywhere we exist, we learn to bob and weave avoiding micro agressions like a boxer dodging jabs, upper cuts and knockout blows.

No, actually, every where we exist!

— Clip of MTG attacking Rep. Jasmine Crokett in Congress.

TR:
So when jay explained that he and the rest of the brothers who would become the reality poets were leery about letting Miss Brewster into their circle, well some of us can relate.

Yet, we need each other. Jay’s story reminds us of that.

It’s an example of how opportunity often doesn’t present itself like we imagine it in our minds. It’s not as defined. It’s not flashy. The messenger rarely looks like the person we imagine or hope for.

Trust is essential.

Jay and the rest of the brothers eventually did put their trst in Ms. Brewster. It paid off. They became the Reality Poets. That not only made an impact on them personally but they’re art is doing the same for others.

What if they didn’t trust? What if they waited for an opportunity to present itself in a way that made them more comfortable?

Did Jay’s past make you uncomfortable?

I’m talking about his former occupation; drug dealer. He spent time in prison. I never asked about that part of his life. It’s in his past.

I do think about how many Black and brown people today are behind bars for selling weed. Meanwhile, now legal in many states, the Cannabis industry, overwhelmingly run by white men, has taken off. And like every other industry that forms, will be run by a few large corporations.

I think about these Black and brown men and women who when released from prison struggle to support themselves. This world doesn’t really seem to hand out second chances very equitably.

I don’t want all of these micro aggressions, systemic problems, the attacks on humanity, to change me for the worse. I want to believe in people, while still being aware. I want to be conscious and still able to trust in others.

That takes serious work!

— Break beat Transition

TR:
When should we trust ourselves?

We all have ideas that at some given time, we believe are correct and defend.

When something forces us to re-examine our perspective, we either realize our ignorance and change or become even more convinced we’re right.

When Jay talked about his reaction to seeing a wheel chair user at the bus stop knowing it was going to make him late for work, I’m sure he felt justified and would defend his position at that time. It’s a common reaction in a busy town where everyone is rushing somewhere. We want to hold someone responsible.

You ever notice how no one gets mad at the bus designers? Why the heck didn’t the bus manufacturers make it easier for those using wheelchairs to get on the bus like everyone else?

We don’t get madat ourselves for not leaving earlier and building in time for unexpected delays.

I give Jay a lot of credit for sharing that story. Any time someone shares an ableist thought or action from their past, I want to highlight it and recognize them for their honesty. I know it’s not easy.
I also think it’s something we should uplift for the sake of making space for us all to grow. I want that space for me too.
I’ve said and done things back in the day I wouldn’t do today.

I recognize and appreciate that Jay had to have a certain level of trust for me to share that story. In fact, I’ll say that about all of those who share their stories with me on the podcast.

I actually take that pretty seriously. Trust in general, is a core value of mine. I don’t do well with those who break it.

Trust needs to be earned.

Yet, we really do trust in things that can’t actually earn our trust. Wheelchairs, computers, access technology, a white cane.
All of these things can’t earn our trust. We’re believing in those who make the equipment, those who teach us how to use them and mainly ourselves and our ability.

When I once trained those new to blindness on technology, it was pretty obvious after a while who was going to adapt to the new way of getting things done.
Some would focus on how they used to do it.

“I used to just click the mouse and drag this file over to the other window”, they’d say. Yes, I know, I’d say.
I did that too, but now let me show you how you can do this today.

I hated my screen reader in the early days. I tried to convince myself that I couldn’t understand what it was saying. But it was clear that the more I complained to myself, the less I was actually getting done.

I didn’t have an alternative. My eyes were gone but my ears and ability to learn were all in tact. So either I was going to quit and do nothing or figure it out. In my mind, the pain of quitting and doing nothing feels worse than trying and not getting it. At least you can keep trying.

Then again, thinking about this now, of course I’d adapt to the technology. I’ve always been comfortable with tech.
I’m confident in my abilities, I trust myself.

In other areas of my life, I don’t feel as confident and may not be as quick to adapt.

Dang! I have to keep it real. There are times when it feels like I can’t trust or believe in others, but perhaps I’m really not trusting in myself.

My ego is telling me to strike this from the episode, wwe’ll see who wins.

— DJ Scratch Transition

TR:
There was a lot of trust involved in this Art of Adjustment season. I had no idea how I would produce the self-portrait episodes. I relied on inspiration and faith that something would come out of the conversations. That part is a given, it’s more about the trust in being able to make it work.

Whether or not it works is subjective. That’s up to you the listeneror transcript reader.

My hope is that some concept or idea discussed in one of these AOA episodes got you thinking. Perhaps encouraging you to consider how art or some form of expression can be a vehicle to assist you in your own adjustment.

The focus here on R double M Radio is adjustment to disability, but it applies to life in general.

Ah, y’all know that.
You all make connections and don’t experience things in a vacuum. That’s why I enjoy hanging with y’all!

Hey! This is my tribe! The R double M Radio family.

This podcast has helped me meet and establish relationships with people I’d otherwise never really get the chance to interact with. We share similar perspectives on a variety of topics. At least, we share the idea of being open. For me that means, open to other points of view, but not when they come at the expense of others or threaten a group’s existence. I’ll remain closed to hate, lies and deception. That’s some corny sucker stuff!

Even though this is a podcast and the communication seems like it only flows in one direction, you know it doesn’t have to always be like that.You can hit me up, ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com. Give it a try.
REIDMYMINDRADIO@GMAIL.
COM (spelled out).

How is art or some other form of expression a part of your adjustment?
Have you been delaying the pursuit of that interest?
Did any particular story resonate with you in a special way?

Let a brother know.

— DJ Scratch Transition

If you didn’t really dig these series of episodes, like it wasn’t your thing, you can blame that on me. Well, you’re probably not listening right now so I’ll move on.

If you enjoyed these episodes well give the credit to the artists themselves: Krystle, Andrew, Kiana and Jay.

It’s all their fault!

They not only shared their stories and perspectives but they inspired the thoughts and ideas that came to be the self portrait episodes. That inspiration is a result of our actual conversations, they’re work, interests and experiences.

I hope it proved to do the same for you.

The process of producing it alone in my mind is the win for me. Like I said earlier… ” I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but I guess we’ll see!”

I’m off to continue working on the next season. That means you won’t hear from me until July. Or August, there’s a lot going on.

We do have a Blind Centered Audio Description Chat episode dropping in June. So stay tuned for that.

Also, if you’re interested in some free audio described content head on over to ReidMyMind.com. I’ll link you to a YouTube playlist of the
2024 Easterseals Disability Film Challenge Finalists. Audio description provided by Social Audio Description Collective!

— Airhorn

The best way to stay informed,is to follow or subscribe to Reid My Mind Radio wherever you get podcasts. Transcripts and more are at ReidMyMind.com.

There’s lots of ways to get there:
Maybe you open your favorite browser and type, some of y’all like to dictate…
however you do it, you got to spell it right

Say it with me; that’s R to the E, I D.
— Sample: “D… and that’s me in the place to be! Slick Rick

Like my last name.

–Reid My Mind Radio Outro

Peace!

Hide the transcript

TR
When it comes to adjusting to disability, do the specifics of a person’s disability really matter?
I’m talking about when it comes to living your life? Finding meaning and your purpose?
Personally, I think these are things we all desire.
Not based on our so called race, economic status or abilities but rather our humanity.

My final guest In this second to last episode of The Art of Adjustment, where we continue to highlight the role art plays in that process, is film maker, Andres Molina.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
But everybody calls me Jay .

Forty six year old Spanish man, light skin wearing a Vegas Raiders hoodie and hat. My pronouns are He/Him.

TR
Welcome to Reid My Mind Radio! I’m Thomas Reid your host and producer.
This may be your first time here, so let me explain the rules.
We don’t officially begin until the drum drops! I’m talking about…

— “Theme music. Every good hero should have some!”, Keenan Ivory Wayans, “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka”

— Reid My Mind Radio Intro
Andres “Jay” Molina:
I was living in the hood. In New York, in the lower east side of Manhattan. I used to be a truck driver. At some point there, I decided that I didn’t want to work as a driver anymore.

I started selling drugs. A few years after that, I got arrested, and I did some time in jail.

TR
After prison, Jay had to do some time in a drug program where he contracted a rare form of Pneumonia.
It put him in the hospital for a couple of years.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Being so long in bed, I lost a lot of muscle mass. I lost my motor functions. I don’t walk today, I became disabled. All this happen in 2014.
— Sounds of busy city streets….

I used to be the type that didn’t really care much about disabled people. When I used to take the bus to go to work, usually there would be a couple of disabled guys, people around the route that I take. And as soon as the bus used to stop to pick them up, I used to be the first one in the bus, “Fuck, these fucking disabled guys. It’s gonna make me late now.”

TR
Hard to hear?
I’m in no way condoning this way of thinking.
Yet, as someone who grew up in New York and traveled to and from school and work on buses and trains, this is not an uncommon attitude.

I remember being on the train headed to class and someone got sick or passed out.
The conductor in these situations isn’t allowed to move the train.
The person even if they are conscious has to remain on the train until the EMT’s arrive.

Even the little old lady clutching her rosary beads is like, “Get them off the bleep bleep bleep train!”

— “Stand clear of the closing doors please!”, Vintage recording of NY transit Subway Announcement
— “New York, New York! (Voice pitched to an ominous deep voice)

Andres “Jay” Molina:
And then it hit me like a smack in the face because now I am one of those people.

Music begins A menacing synth loops and launches into a gritty, slow dark, Hip Hop beat.

TR
Following those years in the hospital, Jay needed physical rehab. He was sent to the Coler Nursing Home on Roosevelt Island. Just off the eastern coast of Midtown Manhattan.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
When I first got to the nursing home I didn’t know anybody of course, So I was just hanging out by myself. And then one of the nurses told me, go outside, there’s people just like you, young like you, and you can talk to them.

TR
Different groups of people congregated Outside the home. It’s a nursing home so the majority are seniors.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
But when I saw these guys actually, one of them looked Dominican, I’m Dominican. And that attracted me more. And as soon as I approached them, they just looked at me and said, “Come on man you with us”. and I started hanging out with them. And that’s when we became friends.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I identified with them. They all looked like they came from the same background that I did. The way they talk. The way they joked around with each other.
It looked more like disabled people from the hood. That’s why I went to them right away.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
How important was that for you to have this group of other Black and Brown Brothers Who were in a similar situation?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I felt really comfortable. They started taking care of me.

TR
they did more than congregate outside the nursing home. They broke bread together.
At the time, Jay was fresh out of the hospital. he didn’t have any money. So they all chipped in to cover Jay.

They helped each other.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Even though I don’t walk I am what is consider independent, I can move my hands. I could move around. Most of my friends are gun violence survivors.
They are paraplegic’s and quadplegic’s, they don’t really have movement in their hands and bodies. So I started helping them.

So for example, I used to roll the blunts for them.

TR
It goes beyond rolling’ the weed, putting the blunt in their mouths and lighting it. Jay would feed his brothers as well.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
So we became close because of that. We got like a family like, I take care of you, you take care of me.

— Nino Brown A toast! (Clinking Champagne glasses)
Am I my brother’s keeper?
CMB Yes I am.

Nino Brown Am I my brother’s keeper?
CMB Yes I am.”, “New Jack City”

TR
While Jay and the other brothers continued to grow their friendship outside the nursing home, they didn’t realize they were being watched.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
A white lady called Jennilie Brewster was doing volunteer work here in the nursing home. She noticed that they didn’t have programs or projects for younger people. Usually, it was about the older crowd. She wanted to do something for us. And she started a writing workshop.

She used to come around to ask us to go to these writing workshops.
But at first we were leery, we were like white people probably police, because we were out there smoking weed.

— Whoop Whoop, Sound of the Police! KRS One

Weed wasn’t legal in New York yet.

Now we’re doing something that we’re not supposed to be doing. And then we had this white woman coming around asking questions.

She was being really persistent. She kept coming. And then one day, we decided to go to one of the workshops just to see what she was talking about.

And she started encouraging us to write about our lived experiences. To write about things that we wanted to write about.

TR
J’s first poem tapped into his memory of living on the lower east side of Manhattan in 2001.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
About how I felt about being part of 9 11

— News clip featuring Brian Gumble after the first tower was hit and before any information was known.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Every piece of poetry that we do is about reality. It’s about what we went through.

TR
The group worked with poetry coaches during the workshops. The next thing you know, the crew was hype, excited about poetry.

Music ends!

Andres “Jay” Molina:
And that’s when we formed the Reality Poets.

TR
The Reality Poets which includes the crew of brothers Jay was invited to join and some others, are a part of what became known as Open Doors NYC.

According to OpenDoorsNYC.org, the group produces artistic collaborations, programs and mobilizing campaigns focused on community building, disability justice and gun violence prevention.

“Hit in the neck I ain’t even feel the burn.
Paralyzed instantly.
Praying to God, please don’t take me now
I got a little girl to look after and
I’m not trying to look after her from the sky”, Reality poet

OPEN DOORS is a project of the Center for Transformative Action-a 501 (c) 3 affiliated with Cornell University.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
What was your experience with poetry prior to disability?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
no experience at all. I never wrote a poem in my life ever. Didn’t even know how to write a poem.

Music begins, “Hooray for Hollywood”
— Explainer video about the film making process.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I started thinking about how are movies made? What are the steps that go about making them? And that always intrigued me.
And that was always what I was after, making a film, documentary, feature film, a fiction film. Just something I think that would be fire.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
So was that an interest before disability?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
After.

I actually taught myself how to work with Premiere Pro. And I also taught myself how to work with After Effects. Taught myself Photoshop too. So I basically became a motion graphics artist.

TR
I can’t help but think about the importance of access.
To people, information, technology all based on our personal abilities.
But still, it begins with That desire to pursue our interest. Which comes down to trust in ourselves.

— Fire Through Dry Grass Trailer

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I wanted to make a documentary about the reality Poets. About everything that we went through and all our accomplishments.

And then in the middle of that, COVID hits.

a hospital called Elmhurst Hospital . in Queens, New York, was the epicenter of the pandemic. And they brought a patient from this hospital, into my room, put him in the bed right next to me. This patient had COVID. He was coughing the whole time he was there, gasping for air.

I have a lot of underlying conditions.

I felt betrayed. All these freaking people don’t care about me. They don’t care if I die or not.

TR
Feeling powerless, Jay reached out to someone he could trust.
Someone he believed cared about him.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I call the director of open doors, Jennilie Brewster. I told her about the situation.

And she said, Jay, you are an aspiring filmmaker. why don’t we just make a film about this?

— ” A nursing home is ground zero. But it just takes one person with a virus and then it is fire through dry grass”, NY Gov. Anrew Cuomo

TR
Prior to the pandemic, Jay was working with an experienced filmmaker after receiving a grant from the New York City Mayor’s Office.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Alexis Neophytides was my mentor. We were working together for a few years before COVID.
I call Alexis right away. And I told her about what I wanted to do. And she said, let’s make this documentary together.

TR
The film, Fire Through Dry Grass, captures the early days of the Covid 19 Pandemic from the perspective of Jay and some of the other Reality Poets. Literally, it’s from their perspective.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
We got like about four GoPro’s and I started clamping them myself to the chairs.

the GoPro shot is like a camera. They have a really big memory card like 60 gigabytes.

TR
Jay and the crew traveled throughout the nursing home documenting what was actually taking place.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
going to different offices within the facility and just recording everything.

TR
We’re talking about two Terabytes of video.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
We also have a lot of footage from outside of the facility. My collaborator, Alexis’ husband, were the ones coming and recording everything from the outside.

Every two or three days, I will just collect the GoPro, download myself into my computer And then upload into our Google Drive.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
As we started talking more and more about the film. We pitched the idea to ITVS public television, PBS channel. They liked it and they actually gave us the funding for it. So we started hiring people to work with us. The job was to watch the footage, and highlight and put aside anything that seemed important.

TR
In addition to zoom footage from the members of Open Doors in conversation as they continued to meet, there’s also arial shots taken from a drone.

Fire Through Dry Grass not only helped tell the story of the dangerous conditions being faced by both
residents and staff during the pandemic, but
it also raises the issue of disabled access to community housing.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
All of us have different agendas.
Most of the guys do want to move out. They always in the hunt for apartments.
Some of them are just here because they haven’t found one yet.

TR
Jay himself was offered multiple apartments. But they were often located in housing projects throughout the city. He didn’t feel safe and they were located far from his family in downtown Manhattan.
That was years ago, before chronic kidney disease.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Which means I am on dialysis.
Even though I could live in the community and just go to the dialysis center, it’s much easier for me to live here.
All I got to do is get on my chair and go to the third floor and do the dialysis session.

TR
Community housing for disabled people is not just about access to shelter.
It’s about having the agency to control your own life and make your own choices.

— “Leave me alone, I want to be free from being told how to live my life
By rules, regulations, laws, bylaws, loop holes, pot holes and assholes
Let me be free to make the decisions that best serve me”, Peter Yearwood, Reality Poet

TR
Ultimately, the message that Fire Through Dry Grass makes clear is Nursing Home Lives Matter.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
During COVID Our now director of open borders, Vincent Pierce , wrote up a petition to get the CEO at that point of Coler, Robert Hughes, removed from his post.

We felt , he wasn’t advocating for us.

He was letting the Department of Health and CMS run all over us, take our freedom away. We felt that we were basically having our human rights violated.
And he wrote that petition to get the CEO removed from his posts, and other organizations saw this, and started supporting us.

That was around the time of Black Lives Matter. they formed Nursing Home Lives Matter.

TR
Robert Hughes, the CEO of Kohl at the time wasn’t fired, but I can imagine, the pressure got to him.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
The CEO retired in 2022.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
What can people do if they want to be of help? How can people support?

Music begins Bright, upbeat, ambient music that sounds like lights bubbling to the surface.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Go to OpenDoorsNYC.org, that’s our home page. There’s a Nursing Home Lives Matter link. When you hit it you go to the Nursing Home Live Matter page. You can join in, leave your comments, leave your ideas on how you think is the best way to change nursing homes. In the country Not just here in New York.

TR
Today, despite the convenience and ease of access to dialysis treatments, Jays opened to living in the community.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
If I find myself in a situation in which I get an apartment, close to my family, my friends, my mother, my sister. I probably think about it again to move

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
Do you think that would impact the reality poet’s if y’all are all, not in the nursing home together?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
No, because we also have two members that don’t live here.
Even though we do get together in person, we usually do everything virtually. Most of our meetings and events are usually through zoom calls. But every once in a while we do have in person meeting or event or project. And we just take an Uber, Access Ride to the location and get together.

TR
Since the making of this film, two of the Reality Poets have moved back into the community.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
Are there any things you learned about disability from making this film?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Disabled people been living in what we call a system of oppression for over 100 years, in which we are treated differently, we are treated like second hand citizens
we are not being respected, we are not given the tools or help that we need to advance ourselves in life. And that’s what we are trying to break with this nursing home lives matter movement, that we matter , we are human beings too.

You still have a mind, you have a purpose, you have a say in your life, and the way you want to live your life, and that should be respected . And that should be enhanced, embellish by the people in power.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
Do you think there’s a power in film to do any of that as a filmmaker yourself?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Of course!

We have advocated a lot for disabled people through the years of us being together.

We have done this movement Nursing Home Lives Matter. We are putting disabled people on the map.

Even though it has gotten better in Hollywood, a lot of disabled artist have been hired now, we think there’s room for more.
Not just actors and directors and screen writers, artists, poets, graphic designers all different type of arts.

I was talking to the group about making the documentary that I wanted to make originally before COVID about the Reality Poets, to show people if you try you could do it you can make it.

Music comes to an end.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
One of the things that you said is that when you became disabled, it sort of helped you discover yourself. And I’m curious to know, how do you feel about that man today?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Well, I feel like I’m a better person now. Somebody that looks out for his people, people in pain, disabled people, People who need help.
Even though I’m in a wheelchair, whenever I see somebody, you know, like they can’t do it, I tie the shoes, I fix the pants, or fix the shirts, I fix the hats.
if they need me to feed them I will feed them. I’m more in touch with humanity now, which I wasn’t really before.

I didn’t really have a purpose. I found my calling.
, I became a poet. I became a filmmaker, motion graphics artist, Photoshop.

I tell people that I don’t regret me being disabled. And people are like “what you crazy” and I’m like I don’t regret it.

I found myself after I became disabled.

Music begins A very bright, inspirational piano loop that opens to a lively bright up tempo beat.

TR
Salutes to Film Maker, Poet and the newest addition to the Reid My Mind Radio Family, Andre Jay Molina. (Name extended like sports announcer)

— Airhorn

Shout out to all of the Reality Poets and everyone involved in the making of this film.

Fire Through Dry Grass goes beyond the experience of disabled people in nursing homes.
It’s about brotherhood, community, trusting in others and finding your purpose.

You can watch Fire Through Dry Grass on PBS online or the app.

I’m looking forward to more films from Jay on the big screen or other streaming platforms.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I have ideas.
We wrote a play a few years ago called Fade about disabled men, that co own a barbershop.

— Scene from the play

So the play we had it in a theater for like a weekend, and it was received really, really good. So I’m thinking about making that into an animation stop film.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
I like it. And if you need some extra voice talent, let a brother know.

TR
Look don’t shame me. My clock is ticking, if I’m gonna put some points on the board, I have to take the shot!

— Basketball shot clock expiring and swoosh of the ball through the hoop.

TR
Listening to Jay talk about meeting the brothers outside of the nursing home, their camaraderie and their opportunity to collaborate really makes me think I’m still in search of my tribe.
I’ll talk about some of that in my final self-portrait in the next and final episode of this season. The Art of Adjustment.

As I said in the opening of the episode, the details don’t matter as much as we think when it comes to the experience of adjusting

Can you relate to Jay’s story?

Some people focus on differences. I don’t necessarily think that’s bad. Unless you’re judging or viewing through a narrow lens closed to any sort of empathy.

When I hear Jay’s story, I think about the importance of access to explore and pursue our interests.
I’m reminded that , unfortunately, these opportunities aren’t afforded to everyone equally.
Some neighborhoods and schools have programs that encourage young people to explore their creativity.
Some families have the ability and knowledge to make opportunities for their children.

Adjusting to disability can feel like time has stopped.
It’s like being in the middle of a game and the coach pulls you out.
You were just warming up and now you’re riding the bench to no where.

However, time, is access.

For Jay, disability gave him the time to learn a craft. This put him in the position to tell the story of what was taking place in the nursing home during the pandemic. He was prepared and equipped for what became an opportunity.

The older I get, the more I realize how time is limited and therefore quite valuable.

If you’re someone new to disability and feel stagnant, consider this your chance to prepare for an opportunity waiting to present itself to you in the not so distant future.
Hopefully it won’t be during a life threatening pandemic.
But whatever it is, I hope you recognize it and like Jay, light it up!

— Sound of a lighter and an increasing burning fire.

TR:
By the way, you know what else is hot?
Reid My Mind Radio baby.

— “Fire!”

Let’s continue to spread it!

Tell your friends, enemies and perfect strangers that they can get it wherever they listen to podcasts.

There’s transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com.

The only way to get there I promise you, is by spelling it right…
that’s R to the E, I D!
— Sample “D…, and that’s me in the place to be!”, Slick Rick

Like my last name!

— Reid My Mind Radio Outro

Peace!

Hide the transcript

— Sounds of Thunder storm transitions into a birdsong filled spring day!
TR:
I’m fortunate to live in a place where I’m greeted each morning, during three seasons, by happy bird songs.

There’s this one bird, I think he’s responsible for making the daily announcements to all of the birds in the neighborhood. I’m dead serious.

Growing up in the Bronx, we had pigeons and those little brown birds that bounce. Some of y’all know what I’m talking about.
What are those birds? Are they babies? I don’t think they’re baby pigeons.
Are they orphans? I never saw them with their parents.

Obviously, I admit, I don’t know much about birds, but since moving out to the Poconos, I’ve become a fan.

there’s this one bird, I’ll call him the bird caster.
I first hear him in the morning around 5 AM in the back of my house. He’s calling out to the others. It’s not a song. It sounds more like a message.

— A fluttering high pitch voice
“Good morning everyone! Today’s announcements: First, to all the youngsters, class will begin at 8 AM sharp! The weather today, partly sunny, but be prepared it feels as though a front is moving in from the west.”

This is not a direct translation, but I’m telling you, bird caster is making announcements.

Next thing you know, he’s off, repeating the process on the east side of the house.
Flying around the neighborhood, spreading the daily word, that appears to be bird casters role; delivering messages.

— Sounds of birdcaster in the back repeating his message.

My wife doesn’t like birdcaster.
She’s not a morning person.
That’s more my thing!

I respect birdcaster. He has a function and seems to take it pretty seriously. Based on my unscientific research, outside of rainy mornings, birdcaster is out there doing his thing.

It’s spring y’all, I’m waiting on birdcaster and the rest of his crew to return.

Since we’re in this Art of Adjustment season, I’ll take a queue from nature and deliver a bit of a message.

I know there are lots of our brothers and sisters out there who because of disability, feel as though they’re currently in a season of wait.
But, you’re actually in a season of prepare.

This down time that you’re feeling, is perfect for rehab, retraining, for formal or informal education.
Maybe it’s trying something new, something that’s always been of interest.
As much as possible, consider focusing your energy on you and really dive in and use the season.

Remember, a little movement in some direction is the beginning of momentum.

— Pause

I just made that shit up! (Laughing) I’m Thomas Reid host and producer of Reid My Mind Radio. baby! Let’s go!

— : Reid My Mind Theme Music

— Caribbean soundscape (beach, calypso music maybe outside bar)

TR:
In this episode we move forward with my continuous self-portrait, where I explore my adjustment experience based on aspects of conversations with my guests.

While it didn’t make it into the final edit, my actual conversation with Kiana Glanton featured in the last episode, began with her love of Carnival.

I’m not talking about the traveling amusement parks with rickety roller coasters, stuffed animal prizes and funnel cake.
— In a filtered voice; mm…. funnel cake!

I’m talking about Caribbean Carnival.

— Sounds of ocean waves and a steel drum lead calypso music.

The origin of Carnival dates back to Egypt. That’s in Africa y’all!
It was then adopted by Greeks, Romans and Europeans. But what we know as Carnival today has it’s roots in the Caribbean islands where former enslaved Africans celebrated their freedom and more.
It takes place around the world in various forms.

My only experience of Carnival is the West Indian Labor Day Parade on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn.

— Sounds from the West Indian Parade in Brooklyn!

Kiana:
My favorite carnival hands down is Barbados Crop Over, where it’s the end of the summer season would really literally the crops are over in the whole island celebrates with the parade and parties and festivals and competitions for Soca and Calypso.

For me that down home, very connected, very communal experience came from Barbados.

TR:
It just so happens, when Kiana and I were discussing Carnival, I recently confirmed that my paternal grand father was Jamaican.
I’ve always thought this was the case, but never confirmed.

My mother was from Puerto Rico and I’ve always felt a certain attraction to the Caribbean.
Like I want to move their at least part time the way folks winter in Florida.
No disrespect to my brothers and sisters in Florida, but y’all got to get rid of that governor and the incredible anti blackness.
Yes, it’s everywhere but woof!

Kiana:
The moment I stepped foot in Barbados, I felt like I was home there was this very Africanist.
This very kindred kind of connection that happened the moment that I got there, that I felt like I had been there before, or that I was home.

I was just like yo, , I could live here.
I feel so welcomed.
And I think it is the inherent African spirit, honestly, that like, makes you feel at home.

— Music begins: A up beat percussion heavy African Soca inspired rhythm beat.

TR:
My genealogy isn’t the focus of these episodes.
This is about the art of adjusting, which like these self-portrait episodes is a continuous process

Kiana:
I have not figured out how to participate as a visually impaired person simply yet, because there are safety issues, you have 1000s of people drinking, you have trucks that are moving.
This could be an incredibly day and then your own streets that are not like the streets in the US these are Caribbean streets that have had hurricanes, and everything.
The infrastructure is really different. So it’s not the safest thing to cane, I would say safely behind drunk people and behind the truck. So I have not figured out how to reengage in carnival just yet, but I’m determined that I will return at some point.

TR:
It goes beyond just navigating.
So much of the Carnival environment is visual, but it’s also about community, food and drink.

My first thought is why not experience the Carnival from within as part of a float.
I’m often more interested in being a part of the production. Creation over consumption. Unless we’re in the kitchen, consumption is my preference.

I know there are some out there who hear my approach and may feel it’s limiting.
Thomas, come on man, you can use your white cane and get around if you try.
They’re not wrong. But, if you ever been in such a crowd of people all enthralled by what’s going on around them,
plus add in the rum and other libations, I just don’t know if that’s a battle I personally want to take on. You can, if that’s your desire! You better have some back up canes.

My agenda is more about enjoying the Soca and Calypso music. Sipping on my refreshing rum punch or some Ray & Nephew,
and ultimately reveling in the festivities. But if you want to use that time to gain an O&M Grand Master badge, I support your right to go for it!

I also support disabled people, using our voices to challenge society in different ways. Rather than us conforming to what so called able bodied people deem as…

–Music Ends.

“normal”, why not purposefully enter these spaces with the intention of making them accessible, comfortable environments for us too?

# Working within Blindness

TR in Conversation with Kiana:
I’m curious.
There’s a conversation in the community about whether or not people should be involved in the blindness field.
There’s this idea that oh, some people go in there because it’s easy.
Some people think that that’s a cop out, Oh, you shouldn’t go into the blindness field, you should go out into the workplace and do other things that have nothing to do with your blindness.
.
Have you heard that conversation? What do you think about it?

Kiana:
My thought is this.
You do not get to tell me how to live my life and how to be successful how to be great at being a blind or low vision person.
How do you know that this is the most effective? How do you know that this makes the most sense?

TR:
So much of the philosophy around blindness is based on the idea of being independent. I truly believe in being independent. However, conforming to society for the sake of appearing independent and not in need of any “special” help, well that just let’s society go unchallenged.

Think about it, the NFB from my understanding, advocated against Accessible Pedestrian Signals. This technology was considered an insult to Blind people and our ability to safely cross streets.
Similarly, folks felt the same about audio description and our ability to consume visual content.

“We don’t need no special help”

Meanwhile, the only thing that’s so called special is the way we access the information that’s already there being used or consumed by those who are not Blind. You know, the normals!

I’m getting some real internal ableism vibes from this.

Plus, it feels selfish AF!

Kiana:
Just because you and I are on this side of being able to talk about it without breaking down or punching a wall or being in distress and deep depression doesn’t mean that somebody else isn’t coming straight off of that.

I know what it felt like learning how to cross the street in tears, holding my baby’s hand and she was three and I was blindfolded.
Learning how to use this cane.
I know what it felt like thinking, how am I going to braid her hair? What if she swallows a penny? How am I going to get help? How am I going even know she’s in distress, all this fear And worry.

TR:
Over the years of producing this podcast, that’s been the struggle for me. Admitting the challenge of blindness,
while espousing our abilities, independence and sending a positive message. Making people aware that blindness by itself isn’t limiting, rather it’s the restrictions and limitations established by society .
It’s the barriers society puts in our way that requires overcoming, not our blindness.

Kiana:
Imagine how powerful that is, when we help our community.

Somebody sat with me and told me it was gonna be okay, that it wasn’t gonna be easy, but it is possible. And once you start to organize your world in your mind, and restructure how you think about what success is, then anything is possible in having a functional, happy existence. One of independence and a purpose is possible.

TR:
Let’s be real, hearing that from someone who has been through it is so much more powerful than getting that same message from a non disabled person.

Kiana:
So to the people who encourage you to go out into the world, go for it if you want to.
That’s your thing.
But I feel purposeful in this field.

TR:
As someone producing content specifically for and about disability, some have tried to encourage me to move beyond disability and seek out opportunities to create audio for and about mainstream topics.
I could. But those who make these suggestions never asked me what I wanted. They assumed I was only doing this disability related stuff as a means to something larger, something better, something not disabled. But I don’t see non disabled or bigger as better. Especially when we think about impact.

We have power, even in small numbers

I’m reminded of Kiana and her friends starting what they call the Rescue Experience. They understand that meaningful impact doesn’t necessarily require grand gestures or large amounts of money.

Kiana:
Donating money to a woman who needs to buy coats for her children, or getting her hair done.
Or sending someone we know who’s overworked and tired to a hotel for the night with dinner, and a spa the next day.
People who just needed a little bit of help, who was doing the work, but just use a little bit of support.

TR:
Isn’t that all of us at some point in our life?

I know some want you to believe they did it all by themselves. Holding tight to the idea that their own success was fully based on their individual work. The same folks who won’t acknowledge that perhaps they had advantages that others do not. Access to well funded schools, technology and people.

When we realize we all need a bit of support, maybe we’ll be more inclined to extend that to others as wel.

— Music begins: A traditional sounding slow, smooth Reggae Riddim!

# Audio Described Carnival
TR:
Back to that idea of claiming our own space within existing environments.

When I think about Kiana’s desire to once again enjoy the Caribbean Carnival experience, I have to ask, why not create our own space?
Yes, we advocate for our inclusion in various spaces and places and that’s fine.
But right now, I’m thinking more like the bum rush and less like asking. When I say the bum rush, I’m not referring to the original term where
a crowd of people just rush the door and get into an otherwise restricted area.

— Pause

Well, maybe I am, just not in a violent way.

What happens when we as disabled people worked together to assertively take over sections of these spaces and make them work for us? Obviously, you can’t just go into an existing theater and start building ramps and taring down walls , but we could collectively find a space along the route of a Carnival and create an accessible environment for us. Sort of on that “yeh, we’re here, what up?”

Are there disabled brothers and sisters in the Caribbean who are already doing this? I’m not trying to be the Christopher Columbus and think I discovered something already there. If it doesn’t exist, is this of interest to those living in the Caribbean? I’m pretty sure others like Kiana would be interested in traveling to the islands and accessibly immersing themselves in the Carnival experience.

So let me ask you. Who would be up for an Accessible, audio described Carnival experience? I’m talking about a space within the space designed and made for us!

Picture it.

A designated accessible area along the Carnival route, packed with food and drink (refreshing rum punch) and water, you got to have your water….

— In a filtered voice: Bruh! you’re a man of a certain age now, don’t forget a nearby bathroom

True!
All with live audio description.

— In a filtered voice: Not the bathroom!

Are there any Caribbean describers in the Reid My Mind Radio Family? Seriously, who in the family would be down to experience Carnival with AD?

— Music ends.

Hit me up, ReidMyMindRadio at Gmail.com.

# Close

— Music begins: A bright, mid tempo groove.

TR:
When I thought about this Art of Adjustment season, specifically , giving more thought to aspects of the conversations I have with my guests, I didn’t realize where it could go.
There’s something about it that feels natural. Taking the time to sit with the thoughts and ideas feels really important and necessary.

In the episode featuring Kiana, she spoke about her praying for opportunity. She acknowledged that now she finds herself really busy because her prayers are being answered.
These self portrait episodes for me are a way to slow down. I’m appreciating the time, sitting with these conversations, letting them breathe a bit. It’s an opportunity to spark or reignite ideas and explore them and see where they lead.

Sharing these conversations makes me feel a little like my friend birdcaster.

— In the high pitch fluttering voice: “What up baby!”

There are multiple messages for whoever wants or needs it at a given time. If you too choose to share, that extends the reach of one conversation originally between to people.

Before I fly away, let me remind you to make sure you rock with Reid My Mind Radio wherever you get podcasts.
We have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com.
And no matter what season, winter spring summer or fall or if you’re like Babyface who only believes in two seasons;
you can find me by spelling the name the right way.
;
that’s R to the E I D!
— Sample: (“D! And that’s me in the place to be.” Slick Rick
” Slick Rick)
Like my last name!
— Reid My Mind Radio outro
Peace!

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