Reid My Mind

TR
When it comes to adjusting to disability, do the specifics of a person’s disability really matter?
I’m talking about when it comes to living your life? Finding meaning and your purpose?
Personally, I think these are things we all desire.
Not based on our so called race, economic status or abilities but rather our humanity.

My final guest In this second to last episode of The Art of Adjustment, where we continue to highlight the role art plays in that process, is film maker, Andres Molina.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
But everybody calls me Jay .

Forty six year old Spanish man, light skin wearing a Vegas Raiders hoodie and hat. My pronouns are He/Him.

TR
Welcome to Reid My Mind Radio! I’m Thomas Reid your host and producer.
This may be your first time here, so let me explain the rules.
We don’t officially begin until the drum drops! I’m talking about…

— “Theme music. Every good hero should have some!”, Keenan Ivory Wayans, “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka”

— Reid My Mind Radio Intro
Andres “Jay” Molina:
I was living in the hood. In New York, in the lower east side of Manhattan. I used to be a truck driver. At some point there, I decided that I didn’t want to work as a driver anymore.

I started selling drugs. A few years after that, I got arrested, and I did some time in jail.

TR
After prison, Jay had to do some time in a drug program where he contracted a rare form of Pneumonia.
It put him in the hospital for a couple of years.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Being so long in bed, I lost a lot of muscle mass. I lost my motor functions. I don’t walk today, I became disabled. All this happen in 2014.
— Sounds of busy city streets….

I used to be the type that didn’t really care much about disabled people. When I used to take the bus to go to work, usually there would be a couple of disabled guys, people around the route that I take. And as soon as the bus used to stop to pick them up, I used to be the first one in the bus, “Fuck, these fucking disabled guys. It’s gonna make me late now.”

TR
Hard to hear?
I’m in no way condoning this way of thinking.
Yet, as someone who grew up in New York and traveled to and from school and work on buses and trains, this is not an uncommon attitude.

I remember being on the train headed to class and someone got sick or passed out.
The conductor in these situations isn’t allowed to move the train.
The person even if they are conscious has to remain on the train until the EMT’s arrive.

Even the little old lady clutching her rosary beads is like, “Get them off the bleep bleep bleep train!”

— “Stand clear of the closing doors please!”, Vintage recording of NY transit Subway Announcement
— “New York, New York! (Voice pitched to an ominous deep voice)

Andres “Jay” Molina:
And then it hit me like a smack in the face because now I am one of those people.

Music begins A menacing synth loops and launches into a gritty, slow dark, Hip Hop beat.

TR
Following those years in the hospital, Jay needed physical rehab. He was sent to the Coler Nursing Home on Roosevelt Island. Just off the eastern coast of Midtown Manhattan.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
When I first got to the nursing home I didn’t know anybody of course, So I was just hanging out by myself. And then one of the nurses told me, go outside, there’s people just like you, young like you, and you can talk to them.

TR
Different groups of people congregated Outside the home. It’s a nursing home so the majority are seniors.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
But when I saw these guys actually, one of them looked Dominican, I’m Dominican. And that attracted me more. And as soon as I approached them, they just looked at me and said, “Come on man you with us”. and I started hanging out with them. And that’s when we became friends.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I identified with them. They all looked like they came from the same background that I did. The way they talk. The way they joked around with each other.
It looked more like disabled people from the hood. That’s why I went to them right away.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
How important was that for you to have this group of other Black and Brown Brothers Who were in a similar situation?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I felt really comfortable. They started taking care of me.

TR
they did more than congregate outside the nursing home. They broke bread together.
At the time, Jay was fresh out of the hospital. he didn’t have any money. So they all chipped in to cover Jay.

They helped each other.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Even though I don’t walk I am what is consider independent, I can move my hands. I could move around. Most of my friends are gun violence survivors.
They are paraplegic’s and quadplegic’s, they don’t really have movement in their hands and bodies. So I started helping them.

So for example, I used to roll the blunts for them.

TR
It goes beyond rolling’ the weed, putting the blunt in their mouths and lighting it. Jay would feed his brothers as well.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
So we became close because of that. We got like a family like, I take care of you, you take care of me.

— Nino Brown A toast! (Clinking Champagne glasses)
Am I my brother’s keeper?
CMB Yes I am.

Nino Brown Am I my brother’s keeper?
CMB Yes I am.”, “New Jack City”

TR
While Jay and the other brothers continued to grow their friendship outside the nursing home, they didn’t realize they were being watched.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
A white lady called Jennilie Brewster was doing volunteer work here in the nursing home. She noticed that they didn’t have programs or projects for younger people. Usually, it was about the older crowd. She wanted to do something for us. And she started a writing workshop.

She used to come around to ask us to go to these writing workshops.
But at first we were leery, we were like white people probably police, because we were out there smoking weed.

— Whoop Whoop, Sound of the Police! KRS One

Weed wasn’t legal in New York yet.

Now we’re doing something that we’re not supposed to be doing. And then we had this white woman coming around asking questions.

She was being really persistent. She kept coming. And then one day, we decided to go to one of the workshops just to see what she was talking about.

And she started encouraging us to write about our lived experiences. To write about things that we wanted to write about.

TR
J’s first poem tapped into his memory of living on the lower east side of Manhattan in 2001.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
About how I felt about being part of 9 11

— News clip featuring Brian Gumble after the first tower was hit and before any information was known.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Every piece of poetry that we do is about reality. It’s about what we went through.

TR
The group worked with poetry coaches during the workshops. The next thing you know, the crew was hype, excited about poetry.

Music ends!

Andres “Jay” Molina:
And that’s when we formed the Reality Poets.

TR
The Reality Poets which includes the crew of brothers Jay was invited to join and some others, are a part of what became known as Open Doors NYC.

According to OpenDoorsNYC.org, the group produces artistic collaborations, programs and mobilizing campaigns focused on community building, disability justice and gun violence prevention.

“Hit in the neck I ain’t even feel the burn.
Paralyzed instantly.
Praying to God, please don’t take me now
I got a little girl to look after and
I’m not trying to look after her from the sky”, Reality poet

OPEN DOORS is a project of the Center for Transformative Action-a 501 (c) 3 affiliated with Cornell University.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
What was your experience with poetry prior to disability?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
no experience at all. I never wrote a poem in my life ever. Didn’t even know how to write a poem.

Music begins, “Hooray for Hollywood”
— Explainer video about the film making process.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I started thinking about how are movies made? What are the steps that go about making them? And that always intrigued me.
And that was always what I was after, making a film, documentary, feature film, a fiction film. Just something I think that would be fire.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
So was that an interest before disability?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
After.

I actually taught myself how to work with Premiere Pro. And I also taught myself how to work with After Effects. Taught myself Photoshop too. So I basically became a motion graphics artist.

TR
I can’t help but think about the importance of access.
To people, information, technology all based on our personal abilities.
But still, it begins with That desire to pursue our interest. Which comes down to trust in ourselves.

— Fire Through Dry Grass Trailer

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I wanted to make a documentary about the reality Poets. About everything that we went through and all our accomplishments.

And then in the middle of that, COVID hits.

a hospital called Elmhurst Hospital . in Queens, New York, was the epicenter of the pandemic. And they brought a patient from this hospital, into my room, put him in the bed right next to me. This patient had COVID. He was coughing the whole time he was there, gasping for air.

I have a lot of underlying conditions.

I felt betrayed. All these freaking people don’t care about me. They don’t care if I die or not.

TR
Feeling powerless, Jay reached out to someone he could trust.
Someone he believed cared about him.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I call the director of open doors, Jennilie Brewster. I told her about the situation.

And she said, Jay, you are an aspiring filmmaker. why don’t we just make a film about this?

— ” A nursing home is ground zero. But it just takes one person with a virus and then it is fire through dry grass”, NY Gov. Anrew Cuomo

TR
Prior to the pandemic, Jay was working with an experienced filmmaker after receiving a grant from the New York City Mayor’s Office.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Alexis Neophytides was my mentor. We were working together for a few years before COVID.
I call Alexis right away. And I told her about what I wanted to do. And she said, let’s make this documentary together.

TR
The film, Fire Through Dry Grass, captures the early days of the Covid 19 Pandemic from the perspective of Jay and some of the other Reality Poets. Literally, it’s from their perspective.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
We got like about four GoPro’s and I started clamping them myself to the chairs.

the GoPro shot is like a camera. They have a really big memory card like 60 gigabytes.

TR
Jay and the crew traveled throughout the nursing home documenting what was actually taking place.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
going to different offices within the facility and just recording everything.

TR
We’re talking about two Terabytes of video.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
We also have a lot of footage from outside of the facility. My collaborator, Alexis’ husband, were the ones coming and recording everything from the outside.

Every two or three days, I will just collect the GoPro, download myself into my computer And then upload into our Google Drive.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
As we started talking more and more about the film. We pitched the idea to ITVS public television, PBS channel. They liked it and they actually gave us the funding for it. So we started hiring people to work with us. The job was to watch the footage, and highlight and put aside anything that seemed important.

TR
In addition to zoom footage from the members of Open Doors in conversation as they continued to meet, there’s also arial shots taken from a drone.

Fire Through Dry Grass not only helped tell the story of the dangerous conditions being faced by both
residents and staff during the pandemic, but
it also raises the issue of disabled access to community housing.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
All of us have different agendas.
Most of the guys do want to move out. They always in the hunt for apartments.
Some of them are just here because they haven’t found one yet.

TR
Jay himself was offered multiple apartments. But they were often located in housing projects throughout the city. He didn’t feel safe and they were located far from his family in downtown Manhattan.
That was years ago, before chronic kidney disease.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Which means I am on dialysis.
Even though I could live in the community and just go to the dialysis center, it’s much easier for me to live here.
All I got to do is get on my chair and go to the third floor and do the dialysis session.

TR
Community housing for disabled people is not just about access to shelter.
It’s about having the agency to control your own life and make your own choices.

— “Leave me alone, I want to be free from being told how to live my life
By rules, regulations, laws, bylaws, loop holes, pot holes and assholes
Let me be free to make the decisions that best serve me”, Peter Yearwood, Reality Poet

TR
Ultimately, the message that Fire Through Dry Grass makes clear is Nursing Home Lives Matter.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
During COVID Our now director of open borders, Vincent Pierce , wrote up a petition to get the CEO at that point of Coler, Robert Hughes, removed from his post.

We felt , he wasn’t advocating for us.

He was letting the Department of Health and CMS run all over us, take our freedom away. We felt that we were basically having our human rights violated.
And he wrote that petition to get the CEO removed from his posts, and other organizations saw this, and started supporting us.

That was around the time of Black Lives Matter. they formed Nursing Home Lives Matter.

TR
Robert Hughes, the CEO of Kohl at the time wasn’t fired, but I can imagine, the pressure got to him.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
The CEO retired in 2022.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
What can people do if they want to be of help? How can people support?

Music begins Bright, upbeat, ambient music that sounds like lights bubbling to the surface.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Go to OpenDoorsNYC.org, that’s our home page. There’s a Nursing Home Lives Matter link. When you hit it you go to the Nursing Home Live Matter page. You can join in, leave your comments, leave your ideas on how you think is the best way to change nursing homes. In the country Not just here in New York.

TR
Today, despite the convenience and ease of access to dialysis treatments, Jays opened to living in the community.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
If I find myself in a situation in which I get an apartment, close to my family, my friends, my mother, my sister. I probably think about it again to move

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
Do you think that would impact the reality poet’s if y’all are all, not in the nursing home together?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
No, because we also have two members that don’t live here.
Even though we do get together in person, we usually do everything virtually. Most of our meetings and events are usually through zoom calls. But every once in a while we do have in person meeting or event or project. And we just take an Uber, Access Ride to the location and get together.

TR
Since the making of this film, two of the Reality Poets have moved back into the community.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
Are there any things you learned about disability from making this film?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Disabled people been living in what we call a system of oppression for over 100 years, in which we are treated differently, we are treated like second hand citizens
we are not being respected, we are not given the tools or help that we need to advance ourselves in life. And that’s what we are trying to break with this nursing home lives matter movement, that we matter , we are human beings too.

You still have a mind, you have a purpose, you have a say in your life, and the way you want to live your life, and that should be respected . And that should be enhanced, embellish by the people in power.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
Do you think there’s a power in film to do any of that as a filmmaker yourself?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Of course!

We have advocated a lot for disabled people through the years of us being together.

We have done this movement Nursing Home Lives Matter. We are putting disabled people on the map.

Even though it has gotten better in Hollywood, a lot of disabled artist have been hired now, we think there’s room for more.
Not just actors and directors and screen writers, artists, poets, graphic designers all different type of arts.

I was talking to the group about making the documentary that I wanted to make originally before COVID about the Reality Poets, to show people if you try you could do it you can make it.

Music comes to an end.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
One of the things that you said is that when you became disabled, it sort of helped you discover yourself. And I’m curious to know, how do you feel about that man today?

Andres “Jay” Molina:
Well, I feel like I’m a better person now. Somebody that looks out for his people, people in pain, disabled people, People who need help.
Even though I’m in a wheelchair, whenever I see somebody, you know, like they can’t do it, I tie the shoes, I fix the pants, or fix the shirts, I fix the hats.
if they need me to feed them I will feed them. I’m more in touch with humanity now, which I wasn’t really before.

I didn’t really have a purpose. I found my calling.
, I became a poet. I became a filmmaker, motion graphics artist, Photoshop.

I tell people that I don’t regret me being disabled. And people are like “what you crazy” and I’m like I don’t regret it.

I found myself after I became disabled.

Music begins A very bright, inspirational piano loop that opens to a lively bright up tempo beat.

TR
Salutes to Film Maker, Poet and the newest addition to the Reid My Mind Radio Family, Andre Jay Molina. (Name extended like sports announcer)

— Airhorn

Shout out to all of the Reality Poets and everyone involved in the making of this film.

Fire Through Dry Grass goes beyond the experience of disabled people in nursing homes.
It’s about brotherhood, community, trusting in others and finding your purpose.

You can watch Fire Through Dry Grass on PBS online or the app.

I’m looking forward to more films from Jay on the big screen or other streaming platforms.

Andres “Jay” Molina:
I have ideas.
We wrote a play a few years ago called Fade about disabled men, that co own a barbershop.

— Scene from the play

So the play we had it in a theater for like a weekend, and it was received really, really good. So I’m thinking about making that into an animation stop film.

TR in Conversation with Andres “Jay” Molina:
I like it. And if you need some extra voice talent, let a brother know.

TR
Look don’t shame me. My clock is ticking, if I’m gonna put some points on the board, I have to take the shot!

— Basketball shot clock expiring and swoosh of the ball through the hoop.

TR
Listening to Jay talk about meeting the brothers outside of the nursing home, their camaraderie and their opportunity to collaborate really makes me think I’m still in search of my tribe.
I’ll talk about some of that in my final self-portrait in the next and final episode of this season. The Art of Adjustment.

As I said in the opening of the episode, the details don’t matter as much as we think when it comes to the experience of adjusting

Can you relate to Jay’s story?

Some people focus on differences. I don’t necessarily think that’s bad. Unless you’re judging or viewing through a narrow lens closed to any sort of empathy.

When I hear Jay’s story, I think about the importance of access to explore and pursue our interests.
I’m reminded that , unfortunately, these opportunities aren’t afforded to everyone equally.
Some neighborhoods and schools have programs that encourage young people to explore their creativity.
Some families have the ability and knowledge to make opportunities for their children.

Adjusting to disability can feel like time has stopped.
It’s like being in the middle of a game and the coach pulls you out.
You were just warming up and now you’re riding the bench to no where.

However, time, is access.

For Jay, disability gave him the time to learn a craft. This put him in the position to tell the story of what was taking place in the nursing home during the pandemic. He was prepared and equipped for what became an opportunity.

The older I get, the more I realize how time is limited and therefore quite valuable.

If you’re someone new to disability and feel stagnant, consider this your chance to prepare for an opportunity waiting to present itself to you in the not so distant future.
Hopefully it won’t be during a life threatening pandemic.
But whatever it is, I hope you recognize it and like Jay, light it up!

— Sound of a lighter and an increasing burning fire.

TR:
By the way, you know what else is hot?
Reid My Mind Radio baby.

— “Fire!”

Let’s continue to spread it!

Tell your friends, enemies and perfect strangers that they can get it wherever they listen to podcasts.

There’s transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com.

The only way to get there I promise you, is by spelling it right…
that’s R to the E, I D!
— Sample “D…, and that’s me in the place to be!”, Slick Rick

Like my last name!

— Reid My Mind Radio Outro

Peace!

Hide the transcript

TR:

Greetings Reid My Mind Radio Family!
Welcome back to the final series of 2021. We call this one: Young, Gifted, Black and Disabled.

Shout out to my brother AJ Murray who co-hosted and produced an episode with me last year with that same title. It is the inspiration for this series.

Young: Well, that’s relative. It’s up to each of us to define how we feel.

My maturity level has probably never passed 5 years old. I’m extremely silly, y’all!

I’ve been working on the gifted part since the other areas are undeniable. I’d like to share with you today and let you judge my progress.

I’ve been enhancing my own ability to read minds. I know, it makes sense right, Reid my mind. Now, I’ll attempt to read yours.
But first, I need your full attention.

If you’re walking on a treadmill, don’t stop, I don’t want to be your excuse. Just listen carefully and follow along.

Choose a number between 1 and 10.
Now multiply that number by 2. I’ll wait! Come on y’all I shouldn’t have to wait this long.
Again, choose a number between 1 and 10 and then multiply it by 2.
Ok, add 8 to that number. That’s right, 8.
Now, I need you to divide that number by 2.
Ok, you with me?
Subtract your original number from that number.
Ok, Braille users should get this part quickly, take the corresponding letter from the alphabet where A is equal to 1. B is 2 and so on.
Now think of a country that starts with that letter.
Now take the next letter in that country and think of an animal that starts with that letter. What color is that animal?

Now just say, out loud, “Reid My Mind Radio is my favorite podcast!”

Got it, You are thinking of a gray elephant!

If I got it right, well you need to show a brother some love. Head on over to ReidMyMind.com and hit that link that says survey. It only takes a few minutes. Or hit that link that says Shop and get yourself some of our cool Reid My Mind Radio inspired merch.
Or give us a shout out on social media. @tsreid on Twitter and check us out on InstaGram at ReidMyMindRadio.

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Thomas Reid. I’m your host and producer and I’m really not a magician. But we are about to hit you with some magic!

AbraCadabra baby!

— Reid My Mind Radio Theme Music —

Jeanetta:
I am Jeanetta Mary Alice Price, founder and CEO of Blind Girl Magic.

I am a chocolate voluptuous sister with a big ol curly Chaka Khan looking black wig that really compliments my outfit, which is a black dress.
It’s a little, but I guess we don’t need to know that. It goes down to my knees.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:
Alright! That was a very nice image description. That Chaka Khan’ thing, that paints an image for somebody who knows what Chaka Khan look like.

— “Chaka Khan… From “I Feel for You”–

TR:

Chaka Khan represents a strong, confident, proud Black woman. In fact, she said she’s every woman, and it’s all in her.

— “Woh, woh!” Chaka Khan, “I’m Every Woman” —

Confidence we know can be tested. Blindness, disability that’s like a graduate level exam.

Jeanetta: 02:02
At the age of 25, I began to lose sight due to aggressive glaucoma and also Cornea disease.

After the cornea transplant, the glaucoma became uncontrollable. So glaucoma is the primary cause of me losing sight.

TR:

The causes of blindness are unique to everyone, but there are some common reactions: like isolation.

Jeanetta:

When you isolate yourself, then, you know you allow the negative thoughts. A lot of the misconceptions just begin to take over.

I lost my fiance, but finding out losing him was a game. So that was because he was not my husband. But we was engaged and this is what I said.

I was having my procedures back to back. And I was like, Oh, I’m going down the aisle as no Blind woman, who does that? That’s how naive I was about blindness.

We bought our home. And I just kept pushing away and back cuz I was like, No, I can’t do this. But it took for me to really walk away from this situation to begin the healing process.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:
Did you have any sort of experience with blindness and disability?

Jeanetta:

You never know when you’re looking at your destiny. When I was younger, like say, junior high school. There was a blind man in my community. I used to see him walking with his white cane.
I recall being on a school bus, sometimes just staring at this man. He was independent. But when it came to younger, blind women, I’m 25 I felt like I was at the prime of my life. I didn’t see that. I’m from a small community, Beaumont, Texas about an hour and a half away from Houston, Texas.

TR:

Of course blind skills training is crucial, but one of the most important aspects of adjusting to blindness is meeting the people like you or those you can relate to who have similar experiences.

Jeanetta:

One of my professors introduced me to the Federation. And I went out for a scholarship. I did not receive the scholarship. But I did gain a community. And I knew I wasn’t alone. So that was the game changer.

I was using my resources with division of blind services locally but to be able to begin to network and build sisterhood with other blind sisters. That was priceless for me. Because I knew if they can do it, then I can do it as well.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:

How’d you find them? Other blind sisters?

Jeanetta:
I went to my first national convention, with the National Federation of the Blind. It was in Texas at the time in 2012.

I never seen that many blind people in my life.

I don’t do dogs. I’d just never seen blind people, and they moved so fast. And they was a little rude too. They would run you over! I’d tell anybody, it’ll make you gain blind skills, because you have to protect yourself.

I begin to just go to the different seminars. They had a talent show. And I was like, I don’t do talent shows, but they asked me to do a poem, and I did.

Once I became open, then I began to meet other blind people

I believe in networking, and the Federation allowed me to meet other blind people my age and people that I could connect with as well.

I love networking with my blind brothers and sisters. I believe it’s priceless. Because if there’s something I don’t know, then I can tap into one of my resources, and they can definitely help me out.

TR:

When we talk about adjusting to blindness and other disabilities, so much of the conversation focuses on learning to accept help. It can take some time to recognize the other side of that coin. That is, you too, as a person with a disability, have a lot to offer others.

But after all, it’s called an adjustment process, because it takes time.

Jeanetta:
From 25 to 29, I suffered with severe depression.

Everything that I’ve always associated blindness with, like losing my job, just not able to drive, everything was negative. I didn’t want anything to do with blindness.

Long as you’re in denial, your healing cannot start.

I’m a writer, I didn’t write from 25 to 29. I didn’t pick up a pen. I didn’t do anything. I was angry. I was bitter. I was non productive.

TR:

That desire to write and create seems to be a part of Jeanetta’s identity.

Jeanetta: 17:14

My fifth grade teacher actually told me I had a gift from God. She placed me in theater arts when I was in sixth grade.

Everybody in class, they used to say she don’t really read, she reads! (Strong emphasis on the latter “reads”)

When it comes to expressing myself, I’ve always been very vocal, very bold.

Ever since then, not only did my school embrace me, my church, my family, everybody embraced my gift.

TR:
An obvious challenge for a writer new to blindness is access.

Jeanetta:
I use all tools.

I’m on my computer if the spirit Hits me, two or three o’clock in the morning, I’m on my phone, I do voice audio.

Sometimes I get up real early, in the morning that’s a time where I love to write and I just pull up my laptop. Sometimes my Victor Reader Stream, you know, it’s whatever I have my hands on at that time will serve as my tool of writing.

I tell people, whatever your style of writing is, just embrace it. Before I became knowledgeable of different tools I used to just get a sharpie. But even though I really couldn’t see, I was still releasing what I was feeling. That was my way out.

As I begin to just really grow in my blindness, then here come the poetry, where now I can write from a healing place.

TR:

Notice how for Jeanetta the act of writing soon after blindness wasn’t really about editing her own words as much as it was an opportunity to purge some heavy emotions.

Her passion for writing was obviously strong enough where she wasn’t deterred from finding new ways. Proving when it comes to the art it’s just never really about the tool.

Jeanetta:

I was always a paper queen. I wrote everything. It was definitely hard. But once you accept what you’re going through, then you start finding ways.

I was like, Okay, well, I can’t do this. But what can I do? So I stopped focusing on the I can’t and the I can’ts became my best friend. I never forget that same fifth grade teacher. Miss Maduro, we used to call her Miss Mad when we worked her nerve. She said she gave us those 10 two letter words if it is to be it is up to me.

As I began to lose sight, I thought about my fifth grade teacher so much. And how she really changed my life because she helped me find my purpose.

TR:

That ability to accept what you’re going through is so important to really understand the challenge. A very common experience is to blame blindness. Therefore it’s natural to reject any association with it.

Jeanetta:

I don’t know if they thought it was a compliment. And maybe they’ve done this to you before.

“Are you blind? You don’t look blind!” Okay, what does blindness look like?

So when people would tell me, Are you blind, like, No, I’m not blind. But then, when I began to embrace my blindness, I begin to just walk in my purpose in my truth, and I knew all the time that blindness is a mindset.

TR:

I think we should really hear Jeanetta express how she feels, in her way.

Jeanetta:

Are you blind?
That’s the question at hand. Before they even shake my hand. The only thing that they see for sure is not me, of course, is my b l i n d. Standing bold and beautiful as I tap across the room shoreline and with a burst of confidence.
Excuse me, ma’am. You don’t look blind? Well, could you please explain to me how blindness look? See, blindness is not the presenting problem. The lack of knowledge and misconceptions of blindness serve as society blindfolds. Low expectations, create social barriers that prevent us from reaching our goals.
Excuse me, ma’am? Why do you walk with that stick? That is the question. Correction. This is not nor would it ever be a stick. It’s my cane. And in the Blind community, we name our cane. So please, show some love for my bestie. She never leave my side. And a matter of fact, she’s my eyes. I walk with faith into a world of possibilities. Believing that I can tap into my vision. Faith that detects roadblocks allowing me to overcome life obstacles, change direction and discover the impossible.
Excuse me, ma’am. Are you blind? That is the question at hand before they even shake my hand. Are you blind? Yes. Once I finally said it with no shame I took back my name is Jeanetta Price and I am blind. That’s when I realized that the question all this time was not for me. But for you who have sight but no vision. Are you blind?

— Music begins – an energetic, upbeat bouncy Hip Hop beat–

— Sample: “: Now wait a minute” “Shout”, The Isley Brothers–

TR:

Hey did you know;
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We’re going to do some things on these platforms so stay tuned.
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Make sure you say that full statement including, T.Reid.

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That way, you’ll never miss an episode.

Tell a friend to do the same. Let them also know that we have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com. Now you’re already family so you know, that’s R to the E I D!
(“D” and that’s me in the place to be. Slick Rick)
Like my last name.

Now back to the episode.

— Music comes to a slow end.–

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:
So tell me what is Blind girl magic?

Jeanetta:

Oh, I thought you’d never ask? (Spoken in an ultra innocent tone with a Southern twang!)

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:

(A very hearty laugh in recognition of her surprised response!)

TR:

That right there is a part of Blind Girl Magic. It’s subtle, but not really!
Like her eye catching fashionable t-shirts.

Jeanetta:

My last shirt was in May, my mother’s day edition. It said “I got it from my mama”

It’s A beautiful teal turquoise shirt with a shimmery I. The M, one of the legs was the white cane. And the letters were shimmery and purple. And it was like Mama was big. I sold over 200 shirts all over the world.

Blind Girl magic is for everybody. Not only do I rock Blind Girl Magic, my niece’s, my co-workers. It’s not just a blind thing, it’s a movement.
TR:

A movement that’s about starting conversations.

Jeanetta:
Many people tell me how when they out and about in the community and they rock in Blind Girl Magic it’s an eye catcher, because the shirts are beautiful. We are beautiful.

We don’t have to force feed people when we want to share about blindness. But if we rockin’ Blind Girl Magic gear, and they looking at all this like is that a white cane?Yeah, my cane is symbolic for independence and blindness. We can have those conversations and we don’t have to feel alone. I felt alone in my community.

TR:

Starting conversations not only through random encounters, but
by partnering with peers and hosting events within our community that embrace and highlight blindness.

Like one titled I Am Black History.

Jeanetta:

It was a total of 20 blind and sighted Individuals which did monologues. Each monologues were like five minutes. And each person was able to pick somebody in the past or present in history. At the end of that monologue, they flipped it. And they began to say, I am black history and began to share about themselves. We are history makers as well.
So many times we don’t acknowledge I know, I’m bad at it, you know, people like, “Jeanetta, I didn’t even know you had a master’s in counseling, or I didn’t know you did, you know. So many times, we don’t really acknowledge our greatness.

TR:

Part of Jeanetta’s greatness is using her talents and experience to help those who as she mentioned earlier feel alone as a result of blindness.

Blind Girl Magic offers workshops that provide an opportunity to explore the inner emotions through words. It’s called the Write to Heal.

Jeanetta:
That’s W R I T E.

I believe in the power of writing. God poured in me that there’s healing in your words, not just for you, but for others as well.

What we have is a line up of poets. So I’ll have some of my poetic Blind sisters with me. We’ll perform, we’ll share our truth. And because we want to be vulnerable, so people can feel comfortable and share their truth.

People think, Oh, she got this “S” on her chest. And they don’t even have a clue of some of the things that I went through. I’ve been there. And every day is healing for me.

TR:

After performances and Q&A, participants are encouraged to take about 30 minutes to write.

Jeanetta:

Maybe 20 minutes to write and I’m gonna put a little heat on them. I don’t want them to think about it. I want them to write about it. Because if you have too much time to think then you might try to change some things and just allow it to flow. And so, afterwards, if those who participated, they want to recite the spoken word they can, but sometimes it’s personal. I respect that too.

We can also encourage them and then you know that you’re not alone.

TR:

These workshops aren’t just for those experiencing blindness.

Jeanetta:

I’ve worked as a behavior specialist for like, four years. My Master’s is in clinical mental health counseling. Writing was a way that I was able to help my students to express themselves without using profanity and end up being suspended from school.

I used to do the Write to Heal seminars. I made them write. They say, “Miss Price we write more here than we write in English.”

One of my most recent was for a school in New Jersey. I did the Write to Heal seminar for the administrators and the teachers.

If I have a teacher that’s real with me and just sharing, you know, not afraid to be open as well then they respect that as well. You know, so more of your kids are coming to talk to you.

TR:

Jeanetta says student’s can feel when authority figures are authentic and encourages teachers and staff to recognize that.

Getting them to be vulnerable is part of accessing their authentic selves. Jeanetta was kind enough to share some of that vulnerability with the Reid My Mind Radio Family. She calls this one: My Left Eye.

Jeanetta:

My left eye left me long time ago.
My left eye is lazy. It drives me crazy, baby.
My left eye, always causing problems.
Attention seeker.
Stop sighted people in their tracks stare at the glare of my left eye.
I wish I was invisible like air.
Can you feel me?
My left eye just refuse to be a right eye.
Never following procedure, failed attempts after failed attempts.
See my left eye is clouded with insecurities.
My left eye sings the Blues clueless of the melody rocking and rolling.
My left eye has no rhythm, grove to his own beat.
My left eye left me numb to the pain of the spoken words in the curiosity of the unknown.
I should have known not to write this poem about my left eye.
As I recite I want to punch the lights out my left eye!
See, I’m not mad that you left, but it’s how you left.
No warning signs or trace of evidence in sight.
I swear my left eye left me in the darkest place, spiritually blind, my left eye.
Trust me, I tried to resuscitate my left eye performance, see people realize that I am hiding behind my designers.
Blinded by the bling, my left eye is a shady queen.
I’m taking back my crown.
My left eye do not define me.
I am a queen perfectly designed by the King.
See, my left eye is beautifully created.
Ocean blue scenery mixed with the clouds of joy.
My left eye is my testimony.
How I gained vision on my journey of losing sight.
See, my left eye is the center of attention.
Did I mention?
Today starts the shades off movement.
This is not just about me.
Let’s take our shades off together on three.
You will no longer have power over me, two.
I am perfectly designed by the King, one.
Today I removed the shades of self hate, doubt, and negative self talk.
Remove it!
Generational curses, addiction, physical and mental abuse.
Remove it!
Dream snatchers, haters, envy, jealousy.
Remove it!
Remove the mental mass and join the movement by setting yourself free and share with the world boldly, your beauty.

So that’s what you’ll get at the Write to Heal.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:

Wow. (in awe)

TR:

Blind Girl Magic is the fashionable gear, the workshops and events, the healing. Ultimately though, it’s about that movement or journey.

Jeanetta:

At the age of 21, I had a brain aneurysm. I don’t know if I shared that with you.

They told my mom that I wasn’t gonna live. If I did, I’d be a vegetable and I wouldn’t be able to walk or talk and you know. And you know I aint stop talking now, right.

TR:

So by 25, when the vision loss occurred, Jeanetta was once again really just finding her stride.

Jeanetta:

I took it pretty hard. And I remember just for days not getting out of bed not wanting to live. I was too afraid due to my Christian background to take my life but I will wake up and ask him Why did you still give me life? I used to sleep a lot because I actually just wanted to just leave this place. I just thank God for not listening to me right? Because I was blinded by my blindness. I had no clue that I could live my best life out of sight.

TR:

We don’t often talk about these feelings when it comes to adjusting to disability. Here or elsewhere.
I’m guilty of wanting to promote positivity and optimism.
But I want to also be honest and these feelings are real.

If you find yourself struggling with these thoughts, call this number;
1-800-273-8255. There’s no shame.

Things get better. And our feelings change. This is Blind Girl Magic!

— From
Jeanetta:
Blind girl magic is the type of magic that struts in a row with her white cane extended.
Her hips shift like the motion of the eyes of the sighted.
Who would have guessed that this blind girl possessed magic.
Abracadabra.
Now you’re convinced that I have some magical superpowers with a supernatural S on my chest
Well, that will be yes for success.
As I leap over obstacles in life, dodge negativity, slam misconception of society, slap our kids in the face when I did that is a fact that blind girl magic goes back to Helen Keller.
Way back to Harriet Tubman, born into slavery escaped the freedom but she did not stop. She went back and back and back to leave us the freedom.
Blind girl magic is built off the shoulders of phenomenal women.
Blind girl magic is the independent movement that is leading our blind sisters to freedom of depression, low self esteem, lack of confidence, anger, bitterness, rejection, Abracadabra, You are set free, blind girl magic lives within me.

TR:

Sometimes I think I should stop and give you a bit of audio description of what was taking place during the conversation. Hmm, I’ll call it Audio ReidScription”

— Rewind —
— Portion of Jeanetta’s poetry begins and is lowered as “Audio ReidScription” begins. —

Jeanetta’s audio:

Way back to Harriet Tubman, born into slavery escaped to freedom but she did not stop. She went back and back and back to lead us to freedom.

Audio ReidScription over Jeanetta’s audio:

All of a sudden, as if driving with a diamond in the back, sun roof top…, Thomas leans back in his chair with a big toothy grin.

Jeanetta’s audio:
…that is leading our blind sisters to freedom of depression, low self esteem, lack of confidence, anger, bitterness, rejection,

In a comic strip thought bubble hovering over his head, text appears : Go head Sis!

Jeanetta:

I recall when you couldn’t say “Jeanetta” and “Blind” in the same breath, now I have the nerve to own a company, Blind Girl Magic. I took back the power.

In my blind journey, I accomplished much more as a blind woman than I ever did as a sighted woman. I went back to school and received my bachelor’s, my masters have my own company.

I always tell people it took for me to lose sight to gain vision and once I gained vision God allowed me to see better.
But then I knew it wasn’t just about blindness.

TR:
At first I thought that was poetic or a metaphorical way of seeing her blindness.

For years, Jeanetta was in and out of surgeries and eye procedures. Her doctor offered different specialized contact lenses. They did nothing to provide more sight. In fact, the left eye only offered a bit of light perception, but the doctor determined there was more available in the right eye. Jeanetta just didn’t want to experience the eye pain.

Jeanetta:

Doc I have blind skills. Leave me alone.

But my doctor knows I’m a little feisty or whatever. But he knows that I trust him and I follow his lead.

TR:

The doctor wanted to try a new contact lens

Jeanetta:

They say the older you get, and people of color, our glaucoma begins to simmer down.

My doctor, he was just like, you still have something there and your Glaucoma is stable at this time. So he was super excited about it.

It was a challenge getting the contact in. Because my eyes were pointed, it was just a struggle, and I was crying, and everything.

My doctor said, Now look at your face. I haven’t seen my face in over 15 years.
So the doctors expected me to see better. But they did not expect me to see 2040.

I receive a special contact collar square lens that I put in, insert every day and take out every night. But sometimes, I don’t use my contact lens. I don’t ever want to lose, is my blind skills.

TR:

I’m sure there were all sorts of thoughts and feelings taking place, plus Jeanetta had to learn how to use vision once again.

Jeanetta:

I had to train myself not to trust my eyes, because I always had enough sight to get me in trouble if I ended up falling off the curb and stuff like that.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:
That’s a really interesting sort of twist, but I think that says a lot because you could have bounced, you could bounce you could be like, I’m out of here. (Chuckles)

Jeanetta:
I’m gonna be honest with you.

I know a young lady, we had the exact same condition, she received that contact, and we have not heard from her in the Blind community at all.

Everybody wasn’t happy for me. Sighted or blind.

So now it’s like, oh, you’re not blind enough to be a part anymore. It was bittersweet.

God had to remind me like who I am, and I have to walk in my purpose.

I’m going to continue on my journey of where he want me to be. Yeah, I could have bounced. But I’ll never, never this, this is who I am. And just like He gave it to me, He could take it away. And if you take it away today or tomorrow, I know, I’m okay.

My thing is this, I know that I can do it without sight. Because that’s what I did for years.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta: 52:00
Okay, I believe you, and you reppin, that Blind Girl Magic. You rocking it. You can’t get away from it. You don’t want to get away.

TR:

I’m really not sure how one could just give up what has become a strong part of their identity. Especially, when you can see the impact it has on those you care about. For Jeanetta, working as a school Behavioral Specialist, those were her students.

Jeanetta:

Our kids were victims of their environment, a lot of violence, crime, everything. However, for my kids, to see me tap into this school as a blind woman. And then to see me to be able to drive to school as a blind woman that’s been gifted an opportunity to see better again, that gave them hope that it’s not over.

As the behavior specialist at the school, I worked with all the kids at risk. I really was having a hard time, cuz, I see the greatness up on my kids and I see some of my kids drop out and just give up. My story, my testimony. It gave them hope. They like for them to witness that was priceless.

TR:

Jeanetta’s whole story is poetic.
Meaning it’s a chance for all of us to interpret for ourselves.

This was sort of a challenge for me.
Not on a personal level but rather as someone who is thinking of the listener who’s possibly in the early phase of their adjustment.

I hope you didn’t in any way check out.
I need you to know that I know hearing this can spark all sorts of feelings that don’t necessarily equate to jealousy of another person, but maybe questioning your own worth or value.

For me, the hope in Jeanetta’s story isn’t really about her getting access to some vision. That’s another tool. Similar to the way I wouldn’t be jealous of someone who has a fancy powerful computer or gadget nicer car. What it really comes down to is, whatcha gonna do with it!

Jeanetta’s continuing to find ways of spreading her magic to help heal.

She was a finalist in the 2021 Holman PrizeContest. This conversation was recorded prior to the announcement of the winners.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t selected. But don’t get it twisted, she definitely won!

Jeanetta:

When I made it to the final list, that opened my eyes that being real with you and sharing your truth. People will respect that.

There’s so many times that we, especially as an African American woman, we’re frowned upon. You’re too loud, or you’re too big, or you’re too this.

It’s okay to be you.

It took me a while to get here to be unapologetically Jeanetta Price and to have people to just really embrace me and appreciate my truth.

TR:

Understanding and accepting that what makes us different should be appreciated, well yeah, that’s priceless.

Jeanetta

I am a bold, black, voluptuous, advocate not only for the blind, but for beyond. I stand in my truth.

I am healed from insecurities and I am healed from negative self-talk.

Every time I get in front of the audience, I have that white cane. I’m tapping and making room for the next Jeanetta .
Everybody else that come behind me that you don’t look like the norm. We all have a purpose on this earth. It’s okay to be you.

TR:

You all can reach out to Jeanetta Price as she rocks that Blind Girl Magic and serves her purpose.

Jeanetta:

Facebook and Instagram and also Club House Jeanetta Price, Blind Girl Magic either one, it’ll pull up.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta: 1:01:39
Jeanetta Price. Let me tell you right now, you are definitely now an official member of the Reid My Mind Radio family!

Jeanetta:

(Giggles)

TR:

Not only did she share her journey with us, but she even gave a little something extra, check this out

Jeanetta:

It’s called I’m From.

I’m from double dutch to hopscotch.
From what your mama gave you a hoola hoop?
I’m from what cartoon said yabba dabba do not. Screw you.
I’m from pressing combs to Jheri curls from skipping just for me.
Graduating straight to Super TCB.
I’m from 123, red light, Duck Duck goose, hide-n-go-seek what?
I’m from mayonnaise sandwiches and syrup sandwiches and peanut butter, Mama where is my jelly at sandwich.
I’m from grandfather hustle selling 25 cent cool cups.
I’m from when grown folks talk children shut up.
I’m from when your mama made you go to church every Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
You was there too.
I’m from what a church folks did the holy dance and now they TikToking.
Well, chicken thunder, that reminds me I’m from a family of big mouths that cause big fights and Big Mama stepping and everybody got right.
I’m from God first family next in line come on down to the price is right even when we wrong. I’m from box fans in the windows of the projects .
I’m from my sister sitting on the front porch doing my crochet braids drinking Thunderbird mixed with a pack of cherry Kool Aid.
I’m from finders keepers losers weepers.
I’m from one size fit all but not all this.
I’m from when stripper poles hung our clean clothes.
I’m from stop, everybody get down, it’s a stick up. Psych. That’s just my cam folks running from the popo. My brother on the dice with his pocket swole. Baby daddy in jail, sister on the corner selling fruit cocktails.
I’m from telling on big sister and hiding behind big brother.
I’m from begging my siblings to please take me to the playground because that’s where all the kids hung around.
Question: when the last time you seen some children at the playground?
I’m from when it ain’t gonna cost you a dime to stay out of mines?
I’m from ain’t no ones where we come from and adversity don’t want none.
I’m from losing sight to gaining vision. Rewind I’m from losing sight to gaining vision.
I’m from where my brother reid My Mind and my sisters feel my words.
It’s not about the sight loss but the vision gain.
I’m from when we get up, dress up, and show up.
I’m from backstroking in the river of faith.
I’m from what a blind is the new vision.
I’m from living my best life out of sight, let the truth be told I am chosen.

TR in Conversation with Jeanetta:
Huh! See, that’s how you do it! That’s how you do it right there. Appreciate that, look at that, look Ma. I made it, I made it.
Jeanetta:

You so crazy!

TR:

Holman Prize, y’all missed out! From my humble perspective, you had two dynamite opportunities. One with Ms. Jeanetta Price and another with Reid My Mind Radio alumni Dena Lambert.

Her ambition, archive the experiences of the remaining Black & Blind men and women who grew up in segregated Blind schools. Here, in the United States.

That to me sounds like an exploration that is truly worth supporting.

Coming out of 2020 when it was fashionable and safe to say Black Lives Matter. I guess in 2021 it’s back to playing attention.

I didn’t grow up Blind, but I do know that those who were Blind before me gave me the opportunity to have what I do. They were Young Gifted Black and Disabled and to them, I dedicate this episode.

Audio: Reid My Mind Outro

Peace!

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