Reid My Mind

TR:
Greetings Reid My Mind Radio Family!

It’s so very nice to be back here with you.
If this is your first time here allow me to welcome you and introduce myself.
My name is Thomas and I’m serving as the host and producer of this here podcast which features compelling people impacted by all degrees of blindness and disability.

Every now and then I bring you stories from my own experience as a man adjusting to becoming Blind as an adult.

In case I haven’t mentioned it for a while, my focus here is on those adjusting to becoming Blind. Honestly though, the more I learn and consider the adjustment process, I think the specific disability isn’t as important. Yes, of course, it matters, especially when trying to resolve specific challenges or learn technique, but there can be so much insight to gain no matter the disability.

I tend to highlight those things that I think are especially important for someone new to blindness, but we all hear differently – meaning you may resonate strongly with something said where I may not. I’d love to know if that is the case so, please remember you can always reach out and share that with me by emailing ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com.

Now, let’s get this Poppin’!

Audio: Reid My Mind Theme Music

Catarina:
I’m Katerina Rivera, the founder of Blindish Latina. I am a light skinned Latina woman with long dark brown wavy hair. And I’m currently wearing blue glasses.

— Music Begins – A smooth chill Hip Hop beat…

When I was about three or four years old, that’s when my parents first started noticing that I had trouble hearing, I think I was walking away from them and then not responding when they would call me.

We found out that I had hearing loss and I was fitted with hearing aids, I went to one year of special education, and then I was mainstream. I still received speech therapy on a regular basis, I had an IEP continuously throughout my education. And for the most part, though, I was mainstreamed.

TR:

Catarina and her family had no explanation for her hearing loss until she was 17 years old.

Catarina:

I was diagnosed with Usher syndrome, which is a combination of progressive vision loss due to retinitis pigmentosa. And hearing loss depends on which type of Ushers you have

TR:

There are three major types of Usher syndrome, known as type 1, 2 and 3. They’re distinguished by the severity of hearing loss, the presence or absence of balance problems, and the age at which signs and symptoms appear.

By 17 years old, Catarina, adjusted to her hearing loss, fully accepted wearing hearing aids and was comfortable in her own skin.

She was on her way to Duke University on a scholarship when diagnosed with vision loss.

Catarina:

When I first got diagnosed, I felt like it was a huge tragedy in my life. It was upsetting, surprising. And it felt like a very big loss. I think that I had to go through the stages of grief in some way. When I was reacting to this, when my parents heard about it, they were very upset. And I felt pain for them. So, I felt like I had to be strong for them.

TR:

Presenting that strength doesn’t give much opportunity to deal with the emotions. Even sharing with friends who often don’t know how to respond doesn’t feel right.

Catarina:

I felt like I was dropping a bomb. I felt really heavy. I don’t tell people, hey, I’m going blind, I find that when I would do that, it would really evoke a sense of pity. People feel sorry for me. And I was feeling bad. At the time, I was feeling bad about it. But as I progressed, in my journey, that language doesn’t resonate with me anymore. It’s not the way that I tell my story. It’s not, it doesn’t feel like a tragedy anymore, but I can definitely empathize with myself at that time.

TR in Conversation with Catarina: 10:05
You never said anything about even exploring the idea of postponing school where I’ve heard from other people, and it would be sort of understandable where someone might, hey, I gotta take some time. It sounds like you still went straight to college.

— Music Ends…

Was there ever any sort of, thing about Oh, okay, maybe I should postpone this because of the vision loss?

Catarina:

That’s a very interesting question. I have not heard that before. And I mean, I get it, it makes sense, every person is going to have their own response to something like that.

I never felt like I needed time away from school.

TR:

Retinitis Pigmentosa is progressive so the early diagnosis didn’t impact her studies as much as the hearing loss.

With an accommodation allowing her to register early, Catarina avoided the large classes in auditoriums and opted instead for smaller classes making it easier for her to hear the lectures.

There was more of an impact on her social life.
And she wisely considered her vision loss in her decision-making process.

Catarina:

I decided not to drink alcohol, because I didn’t want to impair myself any further, I saw that people were really cutting loose, you know, and partying. And I remember thinking to myself is it’s every person for themselves here.

I would focus more on dancing, because I couldn’t hear people when the music was loud, and I love to dance. So, I never stopped myself from having a good time.

TR:

All of this considered, it’s not surprising, Catarina didn’t feel a part of the blind community. For a while she could still drive and wasn’t using a white cane.

It wasn’t until she moved to New York City after graduation and began seeking out community.

Catarina:
When I moved to New York, I didn’t have a job, I had decided to go into the field of education. And I was very motivated to make a difference for the Latino community, for my people. I had applied to a program called Teach for America, where you commit to working in a low-income classroom for two years. And I was very lucky, because not only could I move to New York, to access great public transit, I also was able to go even further than what I had hoped.

I basically got a job as an elementary school teacher teaching third grade, and bilingual education and I was working with students who had Spanish as their first language. It was exactly what I wanted to do, it felt meaningful. I taught at that school; it was in the Bronx.

— Music Begins, a strong, dramatic intro to a driving Hip Hop beat

TR in Conversation with Catarina:

(Laughing) I can just imagine the people who have their preconceived notions, not only about disability, whether it be the hearing loss and the blindness, but then you know, you threw in my beloved bx borrow, okay, you know. And so, then they’re like, oh my she’s, she’s, she’s deaf and blind and she teaching in the Bronx, you say?

Tell me a little bit about how you did your job.

Catarina:

Sure. Yeah. So, I was really happy to be in the Bronx, my fathers from the South Bronx, he’s Puerto Rican. I felt like, Okay, this is like a full circle moment, where I can kind of be in a space that my father grew up in and give back. So, it felt amazing to me.

Now, as far as just some of the logistics, I purposely chose where I was going to live based on the commute to work, I ended up living in Washington Heights, which was just across the river. And I took a bus every day, to my school, I basically only had to walk five to 10 minutes to catch the bus in Manhattan. And I, the bus stop was directly across from the school. So, the only issue that I would have is when I would fall asleep, because it was really early in the morning, and miss my stop in the Bronx and have to walk back. (Laughs)

I also had a really great teacher who also worked at the school who would drive in from Jersey. And so, if I was ready early enough, I would be able to meet her, and she would just pick me up from 100 81st Street and just take me to work as well.

I think people who have preconceived notions of any place need to check that and not make assumptions.

TR:

Word!

There were, however, real challenges of the job that she never actually considered.

Catarina:

One thing that was difficult was knowing who was bothering who, when you have a lot of children sitting there and I’m in the front. It’s very hard, like I don’t have that peripheral vision. So I’m not able to see like filano was poking filano.

Filano is a term for like anybody, like whoever. So that’s how we use it.

TR:

It’s not just behavioral. When young children have questions or want to participate, it’s important that they’re recognized.

Catarina:

That’s something I did do with them. I would let them know and it’s simple, hey I can’t see well. If you have your hand up, I might not see you. So, wave it around. I put it up high, I’m going to scan. I would feel so bad if the kid had their hand up and wanted to talk and I really didn’t see them. That’s demoralizing. So, I would try to make sure They were aware of what was going on with me and I’d give recommendations for what they could do.

TR:

In classroom is challenging enough, but what about field trips?

Catarina:

Generally, on a field trip, the teachers in the front, you got to lead the way, you got to set up the access to the subway present the form to the conductor. That was so stressful for me, because I do well in environments that I know.

TR:

And then there’s dealing with parents.

Catarina:

Phone calls were also hard to the parents being able to hear well, on the phone, I didn’t know about any of the programs that were out there and that I had been able to use now that has somebody transcribing the phone call while you’re on it or use AI for that. I didn’t have any of that. So anytime I called home, it would be maybe a different voice that I had never heard before. I would let them know that I don’t hear well, repeat yourself. And then a lot of times, you know, it’s like parents are speaking in Spanish. So, I really worked on my Spanish as well during that time.

TR:

After three years Catarina left that job and worked for a charter school in Harlem for about a year.

— Music Ends

Catarina:

I realized that in education the way to move up was to move out of the classroom, to become an administrator. And that wasn’t really the way that I wanted to go, I didn’t want my daily life to be about that. So, when I started to become interested in food, and seeing the food that my kids were eating in the classroom and starting to question why they are eating so many bags of chips and candy in the morning.

TR:

Actually, that’s a great question especially coming from the person responsible for educating these young minds.

— Music Ends…

And we should know, proper nutrition impacts your ability to focus and learn.

So, she began researching.

Catarina:

I remember going to Western beef, the supermarket and looking at all the products, the corner store and seeing, hey, the waters all the way at the bottom of the refrigerated case why?

The first part of my journey with food was approaching it from an education lens. I had this idea that people needed to be educated.

I started a community health program in my neighborhood where I started teaching families about health, including fitness and nutrition.

TR:

In addition to the research mentioned, Catarina also has a master’s degree in Public Health and certification in holistic health.

Catarina:

I realized that the system was also a huge force in people’s ability to eat well. And if I focus just on education, I was really missing the mark.

The great thing about working in the nonprofit space is that I did work with kids in the beginning, I was working on an after-school program. But once I transitioned into Program Administration, I realized how much less stress I had in my life, sitting at a desk and working in a different way. Working on partnerships.

TR in Conversation with Catarina:

So, is that the work that you do today?

Catarina:

So, I’m still in the nonprofit space working in food insecurity. And I’m so glad that I’ve had the opportunity to get training and public health, and learn about food justice, and food sovereignty, which are really important ways for approaching the issues with food and what we can do about it. And as part of that, I’ve been able to involve myself in community organizing. And I founded an organization in Washington Heights called the Washington Heights, Inwood food Council. So, it’s in both neighborhoods, Washington Heights, and Inwood. And this group is pursuing food justice in the community, they’re gardening, they’re working with people in the neighborhood of all backgrounds. And the group now exists without me that I’ve transitioned myself out there completely sustainable and continuing to do very good work.

— Transition
— Audio of Catarina from InstaGram:
“Heres a two minute inclusion tip from Blindish Latina. Caption all of your videos…”

Voice Over from IPhone: “Video by Blindish latina”
Catarina from video: “Happy International Women’s Day! I want to tell you about a women I really admite. And, it’s my mom!”

— Music Begins, A Latin influenced Hip Hop groove.

TR in Conversation with Catarina:

Talk to me about Blindish Latina. First of all, explain the name blind ish.

Catarina:

The name blindish Latina means a lot to me, I wanted to showcase my intersectionality the multiple identities that I have, especially because we don’t see a lot of representation of people of color, of Latinidad that within disability. So that’s why I chose a Latina. And the reason I put blindish is because I wanted to give a hint of the fact that blindness is a spectrum. And I know that so many people don’t know this. They think that when somebody is blind, they don’t see anything at all. They don’t have any space in their mind or any concept in their mind of someone like me, who can see really well in such a small window. But I still retain vision.

TR:

The mission of Blindish Latina?

Catarina:

To smash disability stigmas through storytelling, through training and through advocacy.

TR:

Right now, all of this takes place on Instagram.

Catarina:

I talk about my own disability journey. And frequently share stories even about things that might seem small to me. And like something that nobody else would be interested in, for example, I did a video about swimming with hearing aids. And just talking about the fact that I have to be concerned about where I put my hearing aids, when I go swimming, and that I get really scared about somebody stealing them off the beach. So, I might leave them at home, and then not here for hours. But I got so much response on this post that other people feel the same way.

TR:

It’s not always specific to the Deaf or Blind community.

Catarina:

I also share about disability awareness in general, for example, self-identification.

TR:

For example, the debate over using identity first language versus person first language. Identifying as a Blind person as compared to a person who is Blind.

If you gather the right people, this could be a full podcast episode, but Catarina’s point is that it’s up to that individual how they choose to identify.

In addition, she’s sharing best practices and awareness of all sorts of advocacy issues.

TR in Conversation with Catarina: 49:45
What is it that made you become more interested now, in sort of connecting with the cross-disability community?

Catarina:

One thing that made me interested was the documentary Crip camp on Netflix about the disability rights movement, and the story of this camp that brought people with all different kinds of disabilities together in the 70s.

People of all different kinds of disabilities coming together to take these actions. And it really occurred to me that I had not been in a space like that. It’s something that has been inspiring.

TR:

Catarina’s been involved in some of the digital communities, but it’s not as personal.

Right now, she’s focusing on taking Blindish Latina beyond IG.
Catarina:

So, one of the things that I’m doing with Blindish Latina, is public speaking, and offering workshops, and speeches. It’s very important to me to grow my impact and be able to talk to corporations and institutions about disability awareness, why they should care about disability and accessibility, and the actions they can take to create an inclusive workplace and implement best practices. So, this is a major component of Blindish Latina and where it’s headed.
— Music ends

TR:

Catarina is hopeful that corporations will be receptive to her message. Especially considering the attention being given to diversity equity and inclusion initiatives.

This is where that smashing comes in.

— audible smashing sound

Catarina:

I think for me smashing stigmas, or being a stigma smasher was exciting, because it was action oriented.

I’m all about actually creating change. I’m not on Instagram just to talk or post photos of myself or get likes, I’m on there to share best practices to activate allies to move people along this continuum, where they are now going to operate differently and make an impact on their sphere of influence wherever they live.

TR:

Check out some specific advice for allies or accomplices who want to work with the community in smashing stigmas, straight from Blindish Latina.

Catarina:

People have this idea that being an ally is a huge undertaking.

I’ve broken it down into three simple steps. One, you have to care. You have to believe that it is important to be aware of accessibility to do better.

Second educate yourself. You can learn without putting the burden on people with disabilities to teach you, there are so many people producing content, you can engage with them, follow them, this podcast is a perfect example. Books, websites and trainings and presentation. So, you can do a lot of self-education.

— Music Begins, a triumphant smooth Hip Hop groove
TR:

The final step doesn’t actually require a lot of expertise or going far beyond your comfort zone.

— Smash sound —
Catarina:

Wherever you exist. Whatever community you’re a part of you can take action. For example, if you’re part of a church community that’s going to have their masses on zoom, you can advocate for a platform that has closed captions, and speak up and say, Hey, we should consider this other option.

If you are managing your staff, and you’re going to have a meeting off site, you can create a registration form for people to RSVP. And you can have a question in there that says, what accommodations Do you need, and it can be anonymous. And you can create a space that is welcoming. That’s taking an action that’s being an ally.

4TR in Conversation with Catarina:
You see what you did there? You still teach Academy.

— Catarina and Thomas share in a laugh.

TR:

That’s the value of experience. The ability to apply what we learn throughout our lives in different areas. That’s wisdom.

Showing the world who you are. All aspects.

Catarina:

One of the reasons that I started Blindish Latina was to show that I am here, that I am a professional, disabled, Latina woman and I exist. I don’t think there’s a lot of representation of all of those dimensions of people who are disabled and are not white, of people that are disabled and are in the workforce, especially for people with blindness. I feel like there’s a lot of assumptions that blind people cannot work. And there are many of us in the workforce. So that’s why I use that term professional. Look, I’m here educated. I have two graduate degrees. I was Valedictorian of my mph, like, Come at me.

TR:

Better come correct!

You can check out all of the content including best practices, informative videos with captions, images with alt text and more on Insta Gram @BlindishLatina. You can also connect with her via Linked In by searching by name, that’s Catarina Rivera (spelled out)

Catarina:

And I have a website as well. CatarinaRivera.com

TR in Conversation with Catarina:

So, I don’t know if you know, but the fact that you are on the Reid My Mind Radio podcast. That means you are now officially part of the Reid My Mind Radio family.

You perfectly aligned with what we are doing. And so, if I could borrow your turn because we’re trying’ to smash it up too.

(Laughs…)
— Smashing sound…

Catarina:

Love it!

TR:

Some great take aways in this one y’all!

Like using our experience, talents and interests to create impact.

Shout out to Catarina! We’re rocking with you Sis!

Continue to follow what’s happening here on Reid My Mind Radio wherever you consume your favorite podcasts. I hope we can one day make your list.

In the meantime, tell somebody you love or at least like a lot or even if you have no real feelings for this individual, let them know you are part of the Reid My Mind Radio Family. Let them know we have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com. Now this can be a challenge for some so be patient and no matter how long it may take, explain that it’s R to the E I D…
(“D and that’s me in the place to be” Slick Rick)

Like my last name!

— Music ends into the outro

Audi o: Reid My Mind Radio outro

Peace

Hide the transcript

Whats up Reid My Mind Radio family!

Back again and right on time!
FYI:

Some thought we should have been here last week, but this podcast is being published on the second and FOURTH TUESDAY of the month.
In most cases, I’ll let you know if I’m taking a break because we family and that’s what good families do — communicate!

So `wlet’s start the conversation!

Audio: Reid My Mind Theme Music

Envizion:

My name is Izaiah Woods, I go by RoZae in the gogo world. My stage name is also envision that’s an r&b title. I’m from the DMV, from Maryland to be specific.

TR in Conversation with Envizion: 57:49
Your spelling of envision, do you want to break that down? Because I’m seeing Zion in there.

Envizion:

SO, it’s just basically the Z cuz my name is Zay. And I always do that. And to be honest, InVision wasn’t my initial name. It was Vizion. But somebody had that name. I was like, What can I go with? Because I still want that. And I was like, Envizion. It just came out and stuck. Like a magnet to a refrigerator.

TR:

Envizzionn appears conscious about the type of energy he himself puts out in the world.

Envizion:

I’m an enthusiast for inspiration. I love to spread love and light. And I like to be an inspiration to those who are struggling with putting their best foot forward and beginning on a journey that they have a lot of passion for

TR:

Let’s begin with a glimpse into Envizion’s journey. Including aspirations and interests like sports…

Envizion:

I enjoyed driving. Love dogs, German Shepards to be specific. I had a few of those.

I played the piano and the drums. Not just the traditional drum set, but also the Timbales, a Latin percussion instrument as well as the Congas.

— from later in section —
I began when I was probably 12 or 13. My mom signed me up for drum lessons. And then my dad surprised me with a drum set. And from then on, I was just like, yeah, I want to play.

TR:

He’s about more than playing.

Envizion:

Really family oriented, went to church and always been a strong believer in the Lord.

I aspired to go to school, college after school.

— Ambient music

TR in Conversation with Envizion:

Tell me a little bit about how you lost your sight. Now, let me tell you, you share as much as you’re comfortable. I don’t make these types of pieces fully about the vision loss. Sometimes it’s irrelevant. SO, share as much as you want.

Envizion:

Oh, no doubt. I’m pretty transparent about that. Because I tell people all the time, like my story is mine, you get it? I don’t have any shame in or about what happened. Because at the end of the day, what ended up happening? happened and I’m still here.

I was a second semester freshmen at Boise State University. And I came home one weekend in April of 2011, to get my brother situated for his prom that weekend. We were coming from the barber shop and we stopped at the gas station across the street, to get something to eat and ran into somebody that I had issues with.

TR:

In addition to being a musician and singer, Envizion has bars… he’s a rapper.
He shared this verse with me taken from a performance he did with a friend on a Gospeltrack. It summarized the events that followed.

I want to be mindful of anyone who may be triggered by violence. If this is SO, please just fast forward about 50 seconds.

Envizion:

Lord, now if it wasn’t for you, I’d be sorry behind bars or locked away in a tomb
See, for a while I was doing whatever, they say birds of a feather flock together. That’s when the devil has room
But see me, huh, I could have been dead and gone. Came home one weekend to get my brother ready for prom.
We stopped at the store to eat and seeing somebody we dislike took across the street and we was prepared for a fistfight.
We started walking towards him, but he had a gun in his hand. I blacked out he shot once, my brother’s turned back and ran
16 that he popped up was 15 that he missed. Everybody thought Zay was dead and he would surely be missed.
He shot me right in my dome in the front of my home with a nine millimeter Chrome. But now my vision is gone.
And my father kneeled and told me son pray to the Lord.
And I said, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, I need you.

And that pretty much sums it all up.

TR:

It sums up the cause of his blindness, but let’s be clear, it doesn’t sum up the man.

Envizion:

What’s so good about God is the fact that I didn’t lose my mind and the way that your senses operate. Yeah, everything that I could hear literally provided a picture for me.

TR:

And he had his family.

Envizion:

My next memory was me laying on the chest of my mother, she was just kind of cradling me.

And it hit me that I had been shot. And it also hit me that I was still living. And I cried so hard, thanking God, that I did not die. I never felt such a strong sense of gratefulness, like, I was so grateful to be alive. I don’t think anybody could really understand that feeling until they’ve gone through something where they could have lost their life. The gratitude was just through the roof.

TR:

One way of showing that gratitude is to resume life.

And that’s exactly what he did. The shooting occured in the spring and Envizion was back in school for the fall semester.

— Music begins – Bright calm melodic beat…

Envizion:

And I was ready to go. However, they set me up with a DORS counselor.

TR in Conversation with Envizion:

What is the DORS? You said DORS?
Envizion:

Yeah, yeah. Division of rehabilitative services.

Everything with blindness has that …

TR in Conversation with Envizion: 20:30
Yeah. some

acronym. (TR and Envizion say simultaneously and chuckle…) YOU gotta get familiar with all of them.

Envizion:

All of them!

TR:

Those acronyms are just part of the process of educating yourself with the available services.

TR in Conversation with Envizion: 21:08
How did you know? How did that happen? Who knew to do that?

Envizion:

I will say my dad, he is my largest advocate. My mom is too. But you know, she works and does more like, you know, office work. She’s occupied. But my dad, he goes hard for me, man. And he will always be calling and trying to find out information, just to get me help so that I can learn how I can help myself.

TR:

Shout out to Dad for that!

And to Envizion for that understanding that he would have to help himself.

Envizion:

No matter how much somebody is saying that they’re going to work on your behalf, you have to be able to advocate for yourself.

Self advocacy is the biggest thing, like when it comes to someone with a disability or not does anyone technically but when you have a situation where you’re dependent on someone, you have to have it within yourself, because they will begin to try to dictate your future based upon their education. And the most difficult thing for a sighted person to do is be blind, because they don’t know how to be. So as much as they empathize with you, you gotta have it within yourself to say, Hey, this is what I want to do. And this is the way that I want to get it done.

TR:

For Envizion that meant going back to school. Meanwhile the counselor suggested he postpone school and get independence training first. But Envizion had his reasons.

Envizion:

I’m in school with my peers, people that I graduated high school with, like, I want to do that, like that camaraderie, and just the whole image of in feeling of being around people that are similar in age to me and stuff like that, like, that’s what I want to be a part of. And she did not want that for me at all. SO, I did what I wanted. And I went to school.

TR:

Beginning with DORS in June, by the time the fall semester came around, Envizion didn’t have much in the way of computer training.

Envizion:

It was scary. But I was ready.

I went up to the school and talk to the people with disability support services. They assigned me a note taker. And everything just happens to work out just the way that it needed to. God is so good. And he’s all the time.

My first note taker was a girl named unique that I actually knew of.

TR:

They sort of met the summer before his Freshman year in a PRE-COLLEGE program.

Envizion:

I introduced myself to her because she was cute. I introduced myself to her when we were in that summer program, but nothing came up. And I was familiar with her.

We hit it off phenomenally. And that’s my friend to this day.

— Music ends…

TR:

In addition to his friend Unique serving as his scribe, Envizion received assistance in completing course work and getting around campus.

Envizion:
it got better and better each year, because I got more and more confident and more independent.

Self advocacy is a big thing.

I’m gonna tell you what I need. And I’m gonna tell you what I don’t.

I would always have to set the parameters for the relationships between my teachers and I or my professors and I, because one thing is that you’re not going to try to pacify me, baby me. But then another thing is you’re not going to treat me like a slave.

I definitely will advocate for myself and I will go back to the guidelines. The contract that you signed.

TR:

He’s talking about the agreement to have access to note takers, extra time for assignments or test taking etc.

Contracts are one THING BUT speaking with Envizion highlighted another part of self advocacy that we don’t often speak about.

Personality.

Envizion:

My upbringing was always to speak up, and not in a disrespectful way.

My mom has always been just a huge influence on me as far as being articulate, being attentive, and speaking to where I don’t waste my words, say what you mean. And mean what you say

TR:

For example, one of Envizion’s professors who gave him a hard time.

Envizion:

ACTUALLY, two of them. I ended up becoming one of they’re favorite

TR:

The issue with one in particular.

Envizion:

He just thought that I was an angry person. Because I got shot. And now I’m blind.

You can’t project how you would take this on me. I’m living and I’m here to get an education. You got to help me get that. Me breaking that down to him and him seeing my work ethic, seeing my test score and seeing how I complete my assignments

TR:
The other side of that is actually being personable. For Envizion, he uses his sense of humor to charm.

Like the time in class after the professor projected an image on to the screen and asked “Can everyone see the image?”

Envizion:

I’m like, Can you can you brighten it up and enlarge it a little bit? I’m nearsighted.

He didn’t know that I could take light. You know, he didn’t know that. He didn’t know that at all. SO, him becoming aware of that. It made him happy. It made him really happy.

He almost cried one day talking to me because he appreciated the joy that he didn’t know that I had then.

— Triumphant Hip Bewat begins….

TR in Conversation with Envizion

You graduated?

Envizion:

Yes, sir. In 2016, Cum Laude. Three point five cumulative GPA, I was excited, I had to FIGHT FOR that one.

TR in Conversation with Envizion

Salute! Nice!

Envizion:

Yes, Sir!

TR:

Envizion has no regrets on the choices he’s made.

Envizion

I feel like I made the right choice by going to school first, because I grew a lot and I met a lot of people that I still have to this day.

I wouldn’t have been able to come in contact with a guy named Jeff Gittens. He was the assistive technologist for the disability support services. He actually passed away a couple of years ago.
I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet him. It was a lot that I went through that I needed to go through.

It may not have all been perfect, but you know, the hardships that will really make you

TR:

Young Mr. Woods had the chance to share some of that knowledge with others also experiencing blindness.

Envizion:

I went to blind industries and services of Maryland, which is a company that helps blind people just get reintegrated back into society as far as independence is concerned. SO, I moved to downtown Baltimore.

I got through the program learning how to travel through the city, by bus or Uber or Mark train or light rail. They call it the trolley. I finished the program, but I did great.

after I successfully completed my training program, I got really close with one of the managers there, named Melissa Lomax. And she was the youth coordinator. And she would tell me all the time, yeah, I work with these students. And I tell them a lot about you. They can’t wait to meet you. Would you like to work on one of our workshops one weekend?

TR:

He said yes! And that weekend, turned into a month.

Envizion:
I went to the workshop and basically explained to them what it was that I’ve done and how I made it through the program, what I like, like fashion and how I like music. And those kids, they gravitated towards me.

I had two students that live with me in a dorm or it was like an apartment. I taught them how to cook, safety techniques. And there’s a lot that we went through and they kind of like little brothers to me.

TR:

And then, there are other ways to influence people.
— Music ends…

Envizion:

My goal is to inspire people. My goal is to bring back meaning to music.
People used to make music and a music video will be so telling. Or when you heard music, you could create your own visual, like, while you’re listening.

TR:

As a drummer and percussionist, the lyrical writing process for Envizion all stems from the same place.

Envizion:

It’s a feeling. I hear the beat. I just get inspired by whatever it is the beat gives. A good beat a lot of times it’ll produce a melody. And that melody will come with the words like you know, the energy of the song.

TR in Conversation with Envizion: 53:24
how prevalent is blindness within your music?

Envizion:

I featured in this song called “Money on the Line. (Laughs…) And I said a little cleveer thing now… I have this tag where I say (singing…) I don’t see nobody.

I don’t know why. I mean, its trueI’m Blind you know what I’m saying? It’s me.
(TR laughing…)

TR:

But we know it’s also a play on words.

Envizion:

It’s a hater blocking term. Yeah, really. I’m blind. It’s all of that. And when you’re on your way to the top two, you don’t want to be focused on everybody.

TR:

There’s all types of distractions.

Envizion:

(Singing…)”Girls on my line. I said I’m not wasting a dime. She said boo, can’t you see I love you? No baby. I’m blind.”

TR:

We’re so used to NON-BLIND people using blindness as a metaphor in ways that conjur negative feelings

Envizion is using the term to empower. Saying I’m not paying attention to anyone trying to take me off my path. In fact, being Blind to you meaning, empowering myself.

While he has his tag line, he doesn’t play on the blindness much.

Envizion:

I really own my blindness. I really feel as though my blindness has granted me the ability to really envision true beauty. I’m able to see people’s hearts, I’m able to really test and know who you are from the inside.

I’m just a realist.

When it comes to music, I don’t force anything.

I don’t want to tell you how to feel when you listen to my stuff. I just rather give my perspective. And then you take and do with it what you will.

TR:

We know he RAPS; we heard his bars earlier. He sings R & B,

TR in Conversation with Envizion:

Do me a favor, talk a little about Go Go. I know a lot of folks don’t know about Go Go.

Envizion:
Go Go is dc, dc, Maryland and Virginia. originated by Chuck Brown. Inspired by like African, tribal music and feel like a little bit of gospel and blues and jazz. SO, it’s like a swing starts from a pocket beat.

Prime example. Jill Scott song. Do you want it on your rice and gravy?

— Insert song…

She got that from gogo.

But then it breaks down. There’s sub genres. You have the crank circuit, which more so sticks to the traditional side of gogo. And then you have bounce beat, which is like like what I do is for the younger generation, originated by the late Polo, rest in peace to him.

Go Go music, it really like is the heartbeat of DC.

TR:

Go Go found it’s way into the mainstream through songs like Doin’ Da Butt by EU and multiple hits from Salt n peppa…

Envizion:

I play for a GO-GO band, ABM, all about money.

and We also go by The M, which is a much more mature way of presenting ourselves.

We also take current songs and popular songs or old songs. And we just mix it to a GO-GO Beat.

TR:
Like Hello by Adel, remixed to a Go Go beat by Backyard.

— Music “Hehllo” by Adel covered BY BACK Yard

Envizion:

Nice song that kind of helps people to get warmed up into what it is because sometimes it can be a little aggressive.

Like, how rock and roll is to some people that don’t understand it.

TR:

That’s something I think many of us can relate to.

TR in Conversation with Envizion: 43:01

Before you were blind, what do you see, if any, any differences in the way you are perceived? And how people deal with you, how they approach you, how they interact with you?

Envizion:

I feel like I exude a different type of confidence. Now. I don’t feel like I’ve had more I don’t feel like I was more confident when I when I had sight. Although I was confident. I just walk WITH; I just work with more purpose now than I did before.

I had a lot of insecurities. As a sighted person that I used to hide them.

I just walk and talk different now.

I’m pretty easy going.

However, there was a lot of people that were intimidated by me when I was sighted. Why I never got it. But once I went blind, let me tell you… so now you think I’m weak and vulnerable. Now you think I’m easy pickings.

There are some people that try to get a feel for me. They’re trying to feel me out. They’re kind of close but kind of far.

Certain people really try to figure me out. And I’d be like, I see you looking like I just feel it. Like I know. What’s up. Nice to meet you. I’m still people, you know, I just can’t see. I’m blind. That’s it. Don’t get it twisted.

TR:

That’s an attitude we all can use. Even if you are more than just Blind, be confident in whatever you bring to the table.

You can check out Envizion’s music on Apple, Spotify, Tidal…

Envizion:
Better yet go to my Instagram. The Real Envision envision it has two ends with T H E R E A L E N V I Z I O N N.

In my bio, I have a link to my link tree and all of the links of music that I put out there.

my most recent single is call everlasting. We’ll be shooting the video soon is actually going to be my first video.

TR:

You can also find Envizion on Twitter, except it’s with one N at the end.
TR in Conversation with Envizion:

Envizion brother, you know I got this thing that I say, you know once you come on Reid My Mind Radio you become official part of the Reid My Mind Radio Family so Salutes brother, welcome!

Envizion:

Thank YOU, BRO, thank you. I’m …

TR in Conversation with Envizion:

Absolutely!

Envizion:

Glad to be a part, glad to be a part. Shout out to you I appreciate you for the opportunity.

TR:

Isn’t that all any of us really want? Opportunity? But before it arrives, we have to make sure we’re ready for it.

Brother Izaiah, had that drive following vision loss.
I’m not just talking about the will to live as in breath and remain on earth. Rather, self determination to follow his own path. Pursuing those things that he loves and appreciates.

I respect and admire that. Especially considering all of the self doubt that can accompany blindness.

If you feel the same, go ahead and let him know. You can also reach out here via ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com. Tell a friend, a loved one a co-worker, co passenger or even your Uber driver to check out the podcast. Let them know they can find it WHEREVER they consume podcasts and there’s transcripts and more on ReidMyMind.com. Now the tricky part is you have to let them know, it’s R to the E I D
(“D! And that’s me in the place to be!” Slick Rick

Like my last name.

Audio: Reid My Mind Outro

Envizion” Baby I’m Blind… I don’t see nobody!”
TR:
Peace!

Hide the transcript

TR:

What’s up Reid My Mind Radio Family.

I hope you all are doing well.
Feeling good. feeling like things are going your way.

Me? I’m good! I’m here with y’all!

Sometimes, we know, things change up.
That’s one reason for this podcast.
Where we feature compelling people impacted by all degrees of blindness and disability.

What we learn from the experiences of others can help us draw up our own plan

Because when things seem to fall apart you don’t just scrap your plan… nah, you just go out and make yourself some bigger plans!

Check this out!
Audio: Reid My Mind Theme Music

— “Not the One” Lachi, Michael Herrick

TR:

You’re listening to Not the One by Lachi and Michael Herrick. Lachi is an award nominated recording artist, writer, producer…

Lachi:

film producer, published author. I dabble in acting, I dabble in modeling. I am part of the Recording Academy advocacy Committee, which I’m very proud of. And I am also a speaker on the respectability National Women’s speaker’s bureau. I am trying to also be a YouTube star. And also do everything under the sun that anyone will allow me to do.

TR:

Allow?

As far as I can tell, I don’t think she’s waiting for anyone’s permission. Nor should she!

Lachi:

If I can give myself a really quick image description. I am an African American female. I have long hair, most of its mine, not all of it. That is curly and goes down my back with highlights. And I have big crazy, bodacious smile.

TR:

You can hear that smile when you get into a conversation with her. Even when the topic is something that most people wouldn’t smile about. Going Blind.

Lachi:

I was born legally blind. Always had to use adaptive technology. I’ve always had to sort of struggle with meeting other people that would be able to relate to me and things like that.

More recently, I did receive yet another diagnosis that is putting me on a path from low vision to no vision in a matter of years.

TR:

Her response to those who expect a different sort of reaction to the news.

Lachi:
I’ve been blind, so going from slightly blind to fully blind isn’t as traumatic for me as perhaps it might be. Or maybe I just haven’t really swallowed the pill fully. But I just been on that path already. So getting that diagnosis while it was quite a bit of a shocker. I wasn’t sitting here going, Oh my gosh, I’m gonna have to change my whole life around I mean, I already got the cane. I already got the large print, I already have sort of things that I would need to access the things I need. So the transition isn’t going to be as hard. But I will say it is a different beast. So I will acknowledge that going from low to No, is definitely a big step. And I just maybe I’m just not ready yet. Maybe I haven’t accepted it yet. And that’s where I’m at.

— Music begins and rises to a smooth beat. —

TR:

That’s where she is now.

We learn from our past, so let’s go back.

[TR in conversation with Lachi:]

Where did you grow up?

Lachi:

I tell people I grew up in the widest parts of upstate New York, the black is parts of Philly, and I Southern belt it down in North Carolina. So I’ve been all over the place. And I got all types of attitudes inside me depending on which me you get at what time and so people say, Well, you don’t have a New York accent or southern accent. I’m like, I have them all balled into one.

As much as I wish I had like childhood friends from kindergarten and this and that. I do appreciate the fact that I moved around a lot. But I have spent the last nine or so years here in New York, okay.

I’m New York to the heart but I got love for all!

TR:

Growing up with Low Vision, Lachi was the sixth of seven children.

Lachi:
The four older ones were girls. And the three younger ones were me and my two brothers. So I was really one of the boys.

We’d run around and play, we get hurt, we do whatever.

I was put into public school, I was not necessarily treated as a child with a visual impairment. Yes, we did have social workers and things like that. But I didn’t actually have the opportunity to get to know too many other people in my situation, whether it be blindness, whether it be other forms of disability.

TR:

Lachi received accommodations like extended test taking and adaptive technology such as magnifiers, CCTV’s and a monocular to see the board.

Lachi:
Because I held things really close, instead of thinking that I couldn’t see, they thought that I had maybe some other sort of other social issues or psychological issues.

It gave me sort of a complex of always trying to prove that I knew what I was doing. I was trying to prove that I was intellectually sound.

I was always sort of a creative kid. But there was never too many outlets for me to hang out with other kids and create with other kids and collaborate with other kids just because I was super shy and this and that. But I did spend a lot of time on my own just kind of drawing, writing and cultivating my musical skills really.

TR:

Being one of the youngest children in the family, Lachi benefited when her older sister lost interest in music. With access to a keyboard, Lachi found a passion.

Lachi:
I’d have all these little dolls and stuffed animals and I’d line them up, and I would make them sing all the songs I wrote. And I’d be like come on Alto section, now y’all know y’all messing up.

But they were very good listeners.

I’ve been writing and playing the piano ever since I was just, I can’t remember.

TR in Conversation with Lachi: 22:03

black families don’t necessarily always promote creativity in the arts. When I meet people who started off and seem to get that support from their family, I’m always interested in that, because back in the day, it was really like, Nah, you know, you got to go get a job And this is not going to pay…

Lachi:
You know, I mean, I did kind of glaze over a lot of that. You are, I’ll tell you right now, you are not being old school. That is definitely a real thing. Not only a black family, but most certainly in immigrant families, I identify as an immigrant family, because my parents both came over from Nigeria, in sort of the 70s 80s. And all of my older brothers and sisters are all nurses, doctors (says with over exaggeration and laughs) so I did get that as well. Part of the being blind, part of the being visually impaired, and being the only one with this visual impairment in my family did give me a little bit of leeway as the black sheep like, oh, okay, maybe she can be a little piano virtuoso, but at the same time, I was also very good at math. So I know that while my mother was very encouraging, of me just kind of doing whatever. My father was very much like, we need to cultivate this math thing you got going on, you better be you an accountant, you better be you some kind of financial, whatever.

TR:

She tried majoring in business in college for a bit.

Lachi:

I even dabbled in biology until I realized I was not going to dissect nothing. Sorry. Not with these nails.

TR:

Those nails and the artist they’re attached to had other plans – which became clear while at the University of North Carolina.

Lachi:

Every Saturday I would go down and play the piano in the dorm. And it was funny, because that began to blow up into people just always coming through Saturday evenings waiting for the piano girl to come and play the piano. It started turning into frat boys coming back from parties, or people going on dates kind of just hanging in lounging in the common area listening to me play the piano, and it really blew up in a major way.

It really did start out with me just playing. And then a friend or two would be like, hey, do you know that one song? Or do you know this and that, and then just got to a point where people are just yelling out Freebird.

TR in Conversation with Lachi:
Now now you just said which dorm you were in by the way. (

— Lachi and TR share a hearty laugh!

TR:

These Saturday night dorm performances helped increased more than Lachi’s popularity.

I started becoming more confident. Because I was sharing my talent with other people and people were going, Wow, you’re good at something. And I was like, Oh, look, I am and other people are telling me I am. I started getting that outside validation. I went to a counselor, and I was like I really want to pursue music. What do I do? And he was just like, moved to New York. You supposed to tell me to take like music theory classes or something. So I did!

TR:

Move to New York that is!

Arriving on bus in the big city, you know, sky scrapers and everythang! Her first stop.

Lachi:

I went to NYU and that’s where I started to meet some great guys out in things like Scoring for film, and things like that.

So I did get to meet a bunch of really great people. But when I say I really got into collaborating, was when I decided, look, I want to put a band together, I want to put some songwriters together. And so I really did just go out there and just start meeting people. Like it was amazing how much I just opened up as soon as I moved to the city, and would just be able to go up to people and go, hey, let’s you and me work together. And, and things began to kind of blossom.

TR in Conversation with Lachi: 17:05

You started off earlier, though, by saying you were shy. What’s the relationship between being shy? And then that creative spirit? Like, was that just that strong? Or was there a process? Because I think that, people adjusting to blindness, that could make somebody shy.

Lachi:

Yeah!

Whether you are born visually impaired, or whether you lose it later in life. And you don’t know other people in your space, you don’t know other people in your situation, you feel different, you feel misunderstood, you kind of feel alone

, you feel like you can’t really relate to others,

no matter how good people are trying to be to you, no matter how inclusive and everything, if they’re not really similar to your story,

the first place you go is well, you don’t really get it. And so you kind of coop up. And so that’s kind of where I was, like I did have friends, I did have a lot of support at home. And people you know, I was bullied, like everybody’s bullied. And I have some pretty crazy bully stories. But I can’t just sit here and complain too much. I did have some love. And regardless I was still putting myself in a shell. And that shell just could not stick when it came to me creating music. No matter how hard I tried to box it in, it brought me out

I was playing the piano in college for myself.

TR:

It’s so important to have something we enjoy doing. We’ll do it more and therefore, we get better. The result, confidence!

Now add the power that comes from meeting other people with disabilities.

I’m especially talking about those you can relate to. Those who share your interests.

For Lachi, it started with Visions.
Visions Center on Blindness that is…

Lachi:

It’s a camp. So you do all sorts of different activities, not just learning technology. I got to meet a bunch of people. Myself, being a musician, it was great to meet other musicians with blindness. And a lot came out of that.

TR:

Like the chance to create.

Lachi:

He played guitar. We were collaborating so much together. We decided we were just going to go to South by Southwest.

TR:

That’s the annual music , film and cultural festival that serves as a way of really introducing new artists to both fans and executives.

Lachi:

Right before we left, I ended up writing to a bunch of labels to be like, Hey, we’re going to South by Southwest, you should check out our show. Don’t ask how I got your email just come through. (Laughing…) And of course, I got no responses. But we went to South by Southwest, we played a few bars, it was a lot of fun. And funnily enough, at one of the shows we did, some guy came up to me and was like, I really loved what you guys just did, even though it was just vocals and guitar. Here’s my card. Call me when you get back to New York.

It turns out he was an A & R for a label under EMI. And it was just amazing. We had our meetings, we had another meeting, we had a third meeting, and then we eventually got signed.

TR:

In addition to being an artist, Lachi’s a producer with her own studio.

Lachi:

I am a Pro Tools girl. I use sort of a bunch of Antares plugins. I am a girl that has my computer, right at the edge of that desk, and I am two inches away from my screen. And it’s so funny because people will come in of all sorts. I mean, people have high celebrity to just independent artists will come into my studio, and the first thing they think is, uh, okay, let’s see how this goes.

— “Go”, Lachi
Lachi:

Couple years ago, when I first started really opening up my studio to other people, they would come in and then they would be a little alarmed.

I did get to a point where I did preface it with people. As soon as they came to my studio, I’d be like look I’m just going to tell you right now, I’m visually impaired and legally blind. But you came here because you heard my samples.

I will be all up in the screen, but I do use all shortcuts. Everything is shortcuts shortcut shortcut shortcut.

TR:

She makes it work for her. It’s not about the process, rather, it’s all about the art she’s making.

Lachi:

Ever since 2016, you’re going to get EDM, you’re going to get dance, you’re going to get trance, you’re going to get pop dance, you’re going to get things of that nature. But if you start listening to some of my older music, you’re going to get sort of more general pop, or pop rock.

As I got more confident, my music gets more confident, my messages get more confident. I don’t know, I really started to enjoy the whole, like, badass female sort of perspective. And I started to identify that way. And so my music kind of takes that journey.

TR:

I was curious if Lachi had ideas on how she would adapt to non visually making music. Yet, I was hesitant to ask because when she first brought up her diagnosis, she admitted that she wasn’t giving it too much thought. She later added that the gradual nature of the loss may also be a factor.

Lachi:

I don’t even notice it until I, you know, go into my doctor every six months, and he’s like, dang, girl, you really can’t see the big E.

TR:

The actual sight loss is gradual. Some other things become apparent when it’s gone.

Lachi:

it’s not really something that has hit my, my inner realm. I can’t necessarily tell you why. But I am sitting here trying to, you know, trying to psychologically figure that out myself, I actually think that that’s a very interesting thing about myself that I’m not freaking out about it. But I’m looking at it from a business perspective, instead of from a personal perspective.

TR in Conversation with Lachi:

And you know, you can do both.

All I guess I really want to tell you is that you know, you do your thing. But I want you to know that you have lots of options.

Right? That’s what I want you to know. You have lots of options.

You gone be fine!

TR:

Honestly, I think Lachi already knows that. Meeting a variety of people with all different degrees of blindness and disability ever since attending the camp in upstate New York.

But some things are relatively new.

Lachi:

I decided to incorporate my vision loss and my need for accessibility into my career path.

TR:

That includes her work with the Recording Academy advocacy committee.

Lachi:

I am putting together a number of inclusion and accessibility talks with the Grammys.

Anytime I’m in front of anybody from the board membership or anybody from any of these committees, I am talking about inclusion, I am talking about accessibility, and my voice is getting heard.

We’re talking a lot about Hollywood inclusion, we’re not really talking enough about music inclusion. And so I’m getting in front of these boards and talking. And they are coming to me and going, you know what, let’s go ahead and have you do some panels Lachi, you’re the expert on this.

TR:

Be on the lookout for some panel discussions around accessibility and inclusion in the music industry.

Lachi:
another thing that I wanted to mention, my manager Ben price of harbor side management, got an amazing grant from the UK Arts Council to do a huge sort of study slash article on music and its future when it comes to disabilities.

He’s out there having some great conversations with people when it comes to not just showcasing artists with disabilities, but also, with the accessibility of venues.

When we start opening up the city, when we start opening up the nation in the world. This is something we need if we’re starting from ground zero. If you’re just reopening, why don’t you add that ramp, add that handle, add that bar, do what you got to do to make your space accessible, because guess what? 2021 and 2022 is going to be Lachi out here calling you out!

TR:

She’s currently building a platform that could provide the space to amplify these issues and more. It’s on YouTube and it’s called The Off Beat.

— The Off Beat promo

Lachi:

I am a quirky little offbeat musician and I’m also just an offbeat person.

it’s going to be a series that Chronicles me, a black girl going blind, just trying to keep up with the sort of fabulous lifestyle.

Everything from, makeup, skincare and wardrobe, to Little things like learning how to fold a shirt to just getting my taxes right to even trying to figure out how to make a YouTube series like let’s be real meta and learn that together.

TR:

She’s partnering up with brands who want to support her message.

Lachi:

I’m also really interested in speaking with influencers and top folks in not only the blind space, but in the disability space in general. And even other margins like transgender, LGBTQ non binary. Just kind of calling on names in that space, to ask them how they handle different transitions as well.

I’m excited to share it with you, and anyone who will listen, that we are going on this journey, and that we are doing it from my perspective of I think it’s important for me to mention that is from the perspective of a black woman losing her vision and not just have a woman losing her vision.
— “We’re Not Done… Check this Out” From “You Must Learn” Boogie Down productions
— “Bigger Plans”, Lachi

TR:

And just when you thought it was over, you learn about her “Bigger Plans” …

Lachi:

That is actually the song where we are putting out our AD version of the music video that we put together. And so we’re very excited about that.

TR:

In the meantime…

Lachi:

We put this music video together with that song. We ended up getting backed by a company that does diversity styling, and
we shot the video and the company’s called diversity styling. We ended up shooting it in a space called positive exposure, which is a gallery that only showcases art from underrepresented groups. In the video, they had a bunch of pictures hanging from students with different disabilities. And the song as you can see, was written by a woman with a disability and the video was produced and directed by myself. And the diversity stylings woman, and then the star of the video is Zazell, gosh, she’s good!

She ended up sort of dancing in the video, and she starts out with a cane. And she’s unsure then she throws the cane away, and she starts dancing, and it’s so empowering. But by the end of the video, she actually picks the cane back up and continues to dance with it. Because that’s that’s her whole her.

The whole video from top to bottom is just made by folks with disabilities. And we’ve been entering it into all sorts of contests and all sorts of things.

We just literally won Best Music Video at the International Film forum New York. New York, Neil gallery.

TR:

We all need some wins every now and then, don’t we?

Lachi:

I’m always doing these little radio interviews, whatever, this little thing here, this little thing there. This is probably one of my favorites. Look we’re sitting here talking man. I’m not being rushed. We’re not trying to hurry up and plug something. I don’t have like, you know, my show notes. Like, let me make sure I hit this. I can tell that we are having an A and B conversation. It’s not just you reading a quick question and then just kind of scrolling through something while I’m trying to insert it.

TR in Conversation with Lachi:

Yeah. Definitely.

Lachi:

I really appreciate your perspective. I really love this show. When Ben sent me the link. I was like, Oh, God, I gotta get on this show. As I really love it, and everything that you come through and say up in the club is always just so insightful. So I just did want to throw that out to you as well.

TR:

Nah, it’s still Covid out here. Lachi and I haven’t popped bottles in the club just yet! She’s talking about Club House.

The audio only social gathering space.

I’m an Admin with the 15 percent Club, which is all about disability – as in 15 percent of the world’s population has a disability.

Lachi moderates a room on Thursday’s called The Blind Side. It’s poppin! All sorts of conversations around blindness. My personal favorite so far was the room highlighting Blind women. There were plenty of proud Blind women who know they are all that! That’s something I support!

TR in Conversation with Lachi:
I appreciate that. But this is about you. This is all about you. So you need to understand that once you come on Reid My Mind Radio. I need to tell you Lachi you are now an official member of the Reid My Mind Radio family.

— Official
— Airhorns!

Lachi:

Oh my god
I love it!

TR:

You can find Lachi on all social media at LachiMusic. If you’re on Club House don’t forget to check her out on Thursday’s. I might be working the door, but if I’m not let her know you’re part of the Reid My Mind
radio Family and I’m sure you’ll get the VIP treatment!

(Visually Impaired Player!)

Of course, go on over and follow Lachi’s YouTube series, The Off Beat and show your love!

If you like what you hear, please follow this podcast where ever you like to listen. We outchere!

Don’t forget we have transcripts and links over at ReidMyMind.com. If you’ve been rocking with me, you know how this goes, but some don’t… I’m gonna do it real slow!
that’s R to the E I D…
(“D, and that’s me in the place to be!” Slick Rick)

Like my last name.

— Reid My Mind Radio Outro

Peace!

Hide the transcript

TR:

Happy New Year Reid My Mind Radio Family!
My name is Thomas Reid, host & producer of this here podcast! Bringing you compelling people impacted by all degrees of blindness & disability.

Why you may ask?

Opening Mercy Mercy Mercy, Cannonball Adderley
— Applause
“You know, sometimes we’re not prepared for adversity. When it happens, sometimes we’re caught short. We don’t know exactly how to handle it when it comes up. Sometimes we don’t know just what to do when adversity takes over. And I have advice for all of us.”

TR:
Who better to get that advice from then those who have traveled that similar journey!

There’s no time to waste so let’s get it pushin’! Hit me with the huh!

Audio: Reid My Mind Theme Music

Cathy:
I’m Kathy Kudlick, and I’m director of the Paul k Longmore Institute on Disability at San Francisco State University. And I am also a practicing historian, which means I got a PhD in history.

TR:

I told you she’d be back!

Cathy was on the podcast with her colleague Emily Beitikss in September of 2020 talking all about The Superfest Disability Film Festival.

I knew I had to get her on when she mentioned her own experience with vision loss. Today, we’re focusing more on her story!

Cathy:
I was born totally blind with cataracts, at a time when they couldn’t really fix them very well. And so my parents in the first like, nine months of my life, basically, you know, kind of realized they were going to be bringing up a blind daughter, but they still didn’t give up.

TR:

Cathy describes her early experience with blindness as a Salmon swimming upstream, you know going in the opposite direction or against the current.

Cathy:

Yeah, it’s like I was going sighted instead of going blind.

At one point, I was seated on a chair, and my dad was taking a picture of me, and I reacted to flash. And so they said, Whoa, wait, there’s something that’s happening.

TR:

She was developing vision!

A family friend helped connect them with a prominent doctor who said he could help.

Cathy:

And he did.
When I was nine months old, they removed the cataract, my vision afterwards was still pretty darn crappy, as doctors would subsequently say, but you know, it was better than nothing at all, they said. And so I went through most of my life up until my teenage years with this pretty darn crappy vision

TR:

Additional surgeries gave Cathy more vision, but as we know, vision is complicated.

Cathy:

My brain didn’t learn when I was young enough to make the association. I can stare at something for quite some time. A lot of people will make that connection in five milliseconds, and I’ll be sitting there Okay. Is that a dog or house? Eventually, I’ll get enough input and enough clues and say yeah , it’s a house. Then I’ll fill in all the rest.

In the process of all this, I have Nystagmus, which is a muscle thing where the eyes basically jump all over the place. If I could just hold them still, I’d probably have pretty decent vision, but I can’t.

They say that Nystagmus later in life, it’s a lot, lot harder. And in my case, it’s all I’ve ever known.

— Music begins – calm melodic beat —

TR:

We often think it’s a natural process to adjust as a child, but some things require more attention.

Cathy:
I inherited my condition from my mother.

But society being what it is and prejudice being what it is, and denial being what it is. My mother did not want to admit this to me.

One of my big journeys in life is kind of reconciling well, who I was, who my mom was, and being able to talk to her about it. And even pretty late in life. She was starting to come around, but it wasn’t easy. It was really hard for her. She grew up in a different time, a different place.

— Music begins –
TR:

A time & place where disability identity wasn’t a thing.

Cathy’s specific experience with blindness is unique to her but what we all share is finding our path to acceptance. And that’s not often easy for those adjusting to becoming blind. In order to see how Cathy went from denial to Director of a disability Cultural Center we have to go back to her early experience with vision loss.

Cathy:
Growing up, it was just denial city,

It kind of reminds me of the cat that I have that hides under the bed, but its tail is sticking out.
They think they’re hiding, but everybody else is like, whatever, you know, go ahead and hide all you want.

The world really is set up for that kind of denial. I mean, you get all these enablers to help you do it because it’s so much easier for everybody.

TR:

Meanwhile, the person experiencing the loss, continues to struggle.

Cathy:
I loved my history classes. And I would just bury myself in a corner with regular print books, and a magnifier, but I didn’t want anybody to see me reading with a magnifier, if I can help it. I know I shook my head a lot to Read. I’d bob it back and forth, because of Nystagmus. I was ashamed of reading. it was like I had an accident or wet my pants or something to be caught reading in front of other people. It was so humiliating for me.

TR:

That pain goes beyond the emotional.

Cathy:
I remember getting my first cane and putting it in the closet, and it felt like it was just irradiating out from it, like, Oh my god, there’s a cane in there, you know, like, it was like a beast that I put inside.

— Ambient radiating sound begins …
— Music fades out —

I injured myself pretty significantly a few times by not wanting to use the cane because I could technically get by and if I use the cane and didn’t trip for three weeks, or three months or whatever, and I tripped the fourth week, Well, look, I got three weeks as a sighted person.

TR:
These experiences are not unique to Cathy. In fact, it’s more of a reflection on our society. A society that pairs strength with over coming and fails to see value or strength in difference.

Cathy:

They never bothered to teach me Braille.
And if I had learned Braille as a kid, when I was starting out, even if I turned out to be like a total 20/20 person, wouldn’t it be cool to know how to read Braille?

But, there’s so much stigma, things like, Oh, you don’t want to do that.

It’s so ridiculous. You realize how you’re tied up in little knots by society, by other people.

I could have been a more social person earlier on, I could have been a different person earlier on if I had not tried to pretend so hard that I was seeing like, everybody else.

TR:

We all travel at a different pace. Perhaps longer journeys accumulate valuable lessons.

Cathy:
Everybody makes it in their own way. There’s no right way to do it. Once you break that barrier, everything opens up, it gets a lot easier, but you got to get to that barrier. And however you can do it, if you even have a hint of how to do it. Go there early and go there often to get to this other place because it’s a lot better once you’re not in denial anymore, not trying to pass. Not trying to pretend you’re somebody else. That just frees you up, big time!

TR:

That’s a place that’s important and meaningful to you.

— Music begins –
Things you enjoy – not what some so called expert designates as appropriate for “someone with your condition”.

Cathy:

I started using those tools of being a historian to studying blind people. And that was really, really an important moment too, because you realize, one, you’re not alone. And to there is a history there.

I think knowing that there’s people like you that came before you, no matter who you are, and what identity you’re wrestling with, is so powerful, and so liberating, because it means you’re not the only one. You’re part of a tradition, you’re part of a process for a society. It’s not just us selfishly trying not to be treated badly.

TR:

That experience of discrimination or being treated badly, well that can ignite a fire. .

Cathy:

I’m mentioning the name, not to punish them, but just to show these were different times, and I’m not trying to make it up or cover anything over.

I had my first academic job at Barnard College.

I was starting to open up about my vision impairment and sort of being honest with people because I felt comfortable enough to do that.
but it came back to me that they did not want to keep me on, or they didn’t want to really consider me for another longer term job there because of my vision impairment.

They asked me to teach a large lecture class in front of a bunch of people just to see how I would do.

and something when they asked me to do that made me realize, like are you asking other people to do this.

So I said, No, I wouldn’t do it unless they were making all the candidates do it. Needless to say, that job application didn’t go much further.

TR:

That experience helped form a new way of thinking.

Cathy:

If I got kicked out of a job and didn’t get a job, because of my blindness, maybe there’s a flip side to this where I could say this is an identity and get people to think about identity differently.

This was before I knew much about disability studies, this field was kind of just taking off, there was no real disability history at that point.

TR:

So Cathy used her tools!

Cathy:
I started doing research in the French archives, where I did history of medicine, research, and I hooked up with researchers there Talk, talk to them. And it turns out, there’s a really great person that I have coauthored with Zina Weygand.

She introduced me around about scholarship and people and suddenly I was off to the races. It used a lot of talent that I already had in terms of this history research. I was basically off, off and running.

TR:

Her curiosity led to the discovery of a history of Blind people that I’m sure many are unfamiliar with. It began with a pamphlet.

Cathy:

It was called reflections, the life and writing of a young blind woman in post-revolutionary France, and it was handwritten and stuff. And I, I had a lot of trouble reading it. I sat in this archive, by myself. I had this one librarian that would read to me and helped me a lot. I ended up transcribing it and talking a lot with Zina , she was like, Madame history of the blind in France.

TR:

The booklet, written in the 1820’s, authored by Adele Husson, who wrote about her experience as a Blind woman growing up in France.

Cathy:

Nobody had ever written anything about that. We figured out she probably dictated it to different people because the spelling was different in different parts. And the handwriting was different in different parts.

TR:

Cathy and Zina were able to put together the author’s backstory through arduous research

Husson was concerned with being a burden to her family. In her quest to become a writer, she traveled on her own from provincial France to Paris. Her motives for writing weren’t just creative.

— Music ends
Cathy:
She wanted to ingratiate herself so she could get a residency in this place in Paris where Blind people could live if they did the right song and dance to get in. So she wrote this document, and they ultimately refused her.

Call to Action
— Music Begins
TR:

Are you enjoying this podcast? I can’t hear you.

“Can you dig it!” (Crowd roars in cheer!) – Warriors

TR:

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Tell a friend to tell a friend.

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And of course Subscribe, wherever you get podcasts!
Thanks family!! And now back to the show!

— Music ends! —

TR:

Adele’s writing, let’s say left much to be desired, but she did achieve her goal.

Cathy:

We figured out at one point that she published more books than George Saund, who was a pretty famous writer at the time.

One of the things that was interesting, we found a book that had a preface, the story was really similar to her story, but it had a different name and the preface.

And it turned out that despite the fact that she said, Blind girl should never marry because if they marry a sighted guy, he’s just going to take advantage of them. And if they marry a blind guy, their prospects are totally bleak. They’ll die in a fire or something terrible will happen to them.

TR:

The research indicated Adele did marry…, a Blind man!

Cathy:

She died in a fire just like she predicted.

TR:

It’s unknown if her two children also died in the fire. Her husband, however, survived and went on to become well known in the Blind community.

Cathy:

He made this invention that you could use to communicate between sighted people and blind people with writing and translating.

He married a sighted woman and lived until he was about 70.

TR:

Cathy’s researched uncovered a community of Blind musicians and literary people in the 1820’s and 30’s.

Cathy:

Eventually, Louis Braille was part of that world, too. He knew Adele’s husband, we think.

[TR in conversation with Cathy:]

When you say a community at that time, I’m thinking, is this an actual community physically? Because how were people actually communicating if they weren’t in the same location?

Cathy:

Good question.

So there are two kind of physical possibilities for them.

One of them was a, the residents that she was trying to get into, and there were a lot of blind people that live there. And they had all sorts of rules about who could live there.

There were the schools that they all went to. National School of blind youth, if you were Blind, anybody in France, you went to this, you went to Paris and went to this one school. I think there was also one in Bordeaux, another large city in France.

In general, you knew people from being in the schools together.

TR:

There’s even some evidence of more social activity.

Cathy:
There was actually a place in Paris called Café des Aveugles, the Blind people’s cafe. It was kind of a seedy establishment in the seedy part of the city, but they would go and hold concerts there, met and exchanged ideas. We don’t know the details so much, it could be as much as like four out of the 40 people that were there were blind but you know, four blind people really make a stir. (Chuckles)

[TR in conversation with Cathy:]

Laughs!

Cathy:
You see these little glimmers of blind culture that are out there, but we don’t know until people really dive in to research it. With access to these archives now, kind of really hard and not organized and not funded. It’s, it’s a little bit harder, but I think the time will come eventually.

TR:

The value is in how these stories are interpreted and put to use.

Cathy:

Once I kind of made that connection, then I could frame a lot of my research as disability as a cultural identity, or as formed in history and as being part of history as opposed to just some weird, random medical condition that affects a few people that nobody cares about.

TR:

We’re talking about a significant shift in perspective. Moving away from a very mainstream view and offering something more empowering.

Cathy:

Don’t just try to fix me, let’s, let’s look at me and what I’ve learned as an expert, because I have a lot of talent and a lot of craft and perspective. I don’t mean me, Kathy, I mean the global we, people with disabilities who have perfected through studying, not just scholarly ways, but just kind of observing, you have to observe society pretty carefully to know how things work.

TR:

If you’re someone who has been running away from your vision loss, I need you to hear this.

— Music Ends

Cathy:

Passing, people disparage it all the time, but boy talk about being a really careful study or of society and knowing how the rules work. If you view passing as the first part of a two part exercise, then passing is a really set of useful skills to have.

TR:
You have to really know how things work in order to fit in. But it doesn’t have to be about passing.

Cathy:

You use those skills for something else and you stop passing and you say, okay , let’s pull it apart. Why do people cross the street that way? or Why do people think that this is important and not this?

Any question is fair game. Disability is so central in things that people have never thought to ask about in a cultural and social and emotional way before it’s always non-disabled people that are framing those questions, and when you put us center, us ask the question, it’s a different thing.

TR:

Centering people with disabilities, the results can be extraordinary!

— Music begins – something upbeat and in the spirit of conquering or coming to terms…

[TR in conversation with Cathy:]
At the time that you started to pursue disability studies, would you say you were still sort of passing? It sounds like you were on your way to…

Cathy:

I was on my way, I was on my way. And I remember going to my first society for disability studies, meeting and feeling like I sat at the bar at Star Wars. It’s like, there’s all these different creatures around and I was like, Okay, these are sort of my people, but some of them not all of them.

TR:

That’s honest. And I know I appreciate that because, I too was there.

But it ain’t where you’re from… it’s where you’re at!

Cathy:

I used to be terrified of other disabled people, I didn’t want to be associated with them at all, are you kidding?

That’s scary. Those people are way more disabled than me, they need more help than me and what’s wrong with me that I would identify with that when I could be in the mainstream, non-disabled society.

TR:

But then you start meeting the people and your opinion and feelings change. You realize well of course we’re not all the same, but some of these people I really do identify with. And for Cathy, that brought her to a realization.

Cathy:
I think I fit more with the people that are the disabled people than the non-disabled people.

In society, there are very few positive settings, where people with disabilities get to be a majority. And that’s what’s so great about our film festival when it happens in person. Superfest is like 4050 60% people with disabilities in a positive way, where people are having a good time, they’re teasing each other, they’re laughing together at the same jokes.

Suddenly, you’re in an environment where there’s more of you than there are less of you. It’s like Whoa. You kind of get a bounce in your step, or your wheels or whatever. And suddenly, you get to be a person that’s in a majority culture, in a way that’s very exciting and validating and powerful.

TR:

History helped establish this identity, meeting other Blind people helped it grow.

Cathy:

I did a training at the Colorado Center for the Blind about 20 years ago. It’s run by and for blind people. they make you do everything they’re blindfolded, wearing sleep shades. You learn travel, cooking. It’s really extreme, you go downhill skiing, rock climbing, all these things.

You learn not to be so afraid.

TR:

Afraid of what is often described as the never ending darkness! (Yuck!)

But fear, well, that’s just an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real!

Cathy:
You’re taught travel, and everything by blind or low vision instructors. And you know, a lot of sighted people freak out about that. They’re like, Oh, my God, how are you going to be safe or whatever. And I’m thinking, if I’ve got to learn to travel and be safe somewhere, I don’t want that to come from a sighted person, I want to know that a blind person has figured out how to do it, and they’re going to show me.

TR:

Once again we see the role fellow Blind people can play in our adjustment.

Cathy:

Wow, there’s people that really do cool stuff and I can learn from this.

Sight isn’t everything in the entire world. It’s something to value, but it’s not the end all and be all there’s a lot of people that don’t rely on it and can’t rely on it. And they have lots of really interesting and fun and great ways to deal with it.

people focus on that light and the dark and all of that stuff and they don’t give you a place to really meet other people that have figured some stuff out. And I think that’s where your podcasts kind of great to be, you know, you meet all these people that are engaged and, you know, vital and fascinating and fascinated and, you know, wow. Once you crack that nut, I feel like things get a lot easier.

TR:

And if all that wasn’t helpful enough, Cathy offers another piece of advice for those adjusting.

Cathy:

I did a lot of therapy. Anybody that’s afraid of therapy, get over it. Find a good therapist. Get somebody that’s going to push you about this stuff.

I remember I had a therapist who didn’t know a ton about disability stuff, but he was still open, and he listened.

He kind of pushed me. At one point, he said, Would you rather be an incompetent sighted person? Or a competent blind one?

I sat with that question forever, because if I had known, that’s the choice that I was making, I think I would have freed myself up sooner.

[TR in conversation with Cathy:]

Do you think there’s anything about that journey that you actually had to go through in order to be where you are today?

Cathy:
Oh, wow, that’s a great question. (Pause)

Probably

I mean, I am who I am. And it’s all this, like, kind of jumble of what’s me.

TR:

She’s Cathy Kudlick…

[TR in conversation with Cathy:]
So Kathy, you already know you are…

— Audio: “Official”

member of the Reid My Mind Radio Family.

Cathy:
Yay! (Laughing) I was waiting, I was living to hear it. I was living to hear it!
(Cathy & Thomas laughing together fades out)

TR:

Cathy Kudlick, I so appreciate you and you taking the time to share your journey with the family.
And family is supposed to look out for one another. Sharing our journey’s because we know how that can impact another person experiencing blindness – whatever the degree.

You can find Reflections which contains the translation of Adele Husson’s original booklet along with thoughts from Cathy and Zina Weygand on Bookshare.org.
For that link, more of Cathy’s writing, transcripts & more head on over to ReidMyMind.com. And yes, that’s R to the E I D
(Audio: “D and that’s me in the place to be” Slick Rick)

Like my last name.

Peace!

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