Reid My Mind

TR:
Greetings !
We’re at the half way point in the season. That is, The Art of Adjustment.

This season, we’re focusing on the ways art in any form aids in the adjustment process.
Then I’m challenging myself to follow these episodes with some of my own experiences, observations or ideas that stem from the conversation with the guest.

My name is Thomas Reid. Welcome to Reid My Mind Radio.

— Reid My Mind Radio Intro

TR:
My guest today, Kiana Glanton has many titles. We’ll get into them all as they are each closely related to today’s conversation.
First though, a little more about Kiana.

Kiana:
I’m a medium brown skinned black woman of Cuban and African descent. And I go by she her and Ella as I speak Spanish.
I have blonde and brown dreadlocks that are curled up. I would define myself as low vision because when you start to explain to people not within our community about the different degrees of visual impairment, they think it’s either blind or not.

Blindness hit me at about age 16. For me, it wasn’t a drastic vision loss, it was over time. The profound loss has happened over the last five years in which I become a cane user.
It’s only been over the last two or three years that I’ve really stepped into a role of advocacy and empowerment now that I have accepted this and I’m ready to be of use to my community.

TR:
I had a chance to see Kiana serving her community in her role at an event last summer at the Lighthouse Guild in New York.

Kiana:
I am the development intern. I like to call myself the chief development Intern because I often work with the CEO and the chief development officer all the people in the C suite. Sometimes you got to speak it into existence. I don’t walk in rooms without feeling like I absolutely earned my spot and that I deserve to be here.

TR:
It was obvious to me that, although her title includes intern, She’s not an “intern intern”.

Kiana:
I did go to grad school and go to undergrad, I graduated from Stony Brook University. And so I do have education, and I have a work history that I’m proud of. However, when I really started losing my sight, I had to learn how to be back in the office again. And it’s not just learning how to use JAWS, and Word and Excel and outlook, But really learning how to interact with people and get things done and be part of a team that is, for the most part fully sighted. So I began to intern just to get the work experience, because I knew that I could, whatever job I want, whatever job I get, I’m going to do well, and I’m pretty confident and comfortable interacting with people. But I wasn’t quite sure if I had the logistical skills together.

TR:
It takes real confidence to recognize what you’re lacking and humble yourself to go get it.

Through the Commission for the Blind in New York, she was able to secure a thirteen week internship at the Lighthouse Guild. Unfamiliar with fundraising, she ended up knocking it out the park.

— Sound of baseball being hit by a bat and crowd cheering.

Kiana:
So When my 13 Weeks was over, my boss was really impressed.
And he found a private donor and a foundation to support my internship, while we figured the next steps out, and then I got a promotion within that. And I got extended time, while we figure out if there’s space here at my current job at the lighthouse, which I love. There are lots of companies that I could do really well at, I just feel really connected to the mission. It’s personal for me to work for a company that supports blind and low vision people.

I don’t look at us as a project or a group of people. This is my home, this is just my own community.

— Music begins: A whistling synth opens to a slow driving beat.

TR:
That’s the type of attitude, quite honestly, that in my experience was and may still be lacking in many organizations serving the Blind.

Kiana:
At the time, there was only one visually impaired person in the management floor, the executive suite of Lighthouse Guild, and
over time, they’ve acquired three more and I’m one of those three. So we have a marketing manager. We have a development manager and we have our volunteer service coordinator who are all visually impaired, and that’s affecting programming and policy and really having a voice in this company.

TR in Conversation with Kiana:: 2
Lighthouse, take off that intern, and make this woman permanent management. Alright, let’s go.

TR:
She’s committed to her work, but her foundation is her grounding.

Kiana:
We’re just coming off the Kwanzaa season, which my family has been celebrating since I was six years old. By the time this comes out I’ll be 41.
We believe in the Kwanzaa principles, all seven of them all year round.

Nia is purpose. I literally get up every morning and say, Thank you, God, and thank you for my child, thank you for giving me a reason to stand up taller. And to be more confident because she’s watching me. So I have to give her the best version of me. She needs to know that diligence is always rewarded. I do this for her.

Even when she’s at her dad’s for the weekend, I’m still on the clock. I’m still thinking about meals to prepare. I’m thinking about getting home safely. Cuz she’s dependent on me returning home. What if something happened to me when I was irresponsible. And then there was no mommy for her to come home to, then I let her down. And that’s not living out of fear. It’s just guiding the principles that I govern myself with and how I move around.

TR:
You can tell a child something until you’re blue in the face. Your actions however, speak much louder than words.

Kiana:
She needs to know you can restart your life if you need to. You can pivot.

There are things that I once said and did in my 20s or in my 30s that I absolutely do not believe anymore. I thought that people who eat meat are just ignorant and selfish and greedy. And I don’t think that way anymore.

I once thought that only black people make good potato salad and I don’t think that

TR in Conversation with Kiana:
. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, this is news to me.

TR:
Ok, I get the point. And in general, I agree.

I’m just saying…. I know people who are pretty serious about their potato salad.

Kiana:
I am showing her that it is possible to be taught and repositioned at any point in your life. And then if you want something and you set a goal, and measurable steps that you can get there, you can have it. I explained to her all the time why I’m disciplined in this way.

I don’t subscribe to the school of thought that children are to be seen and heard. Now, I don’t allow no talking back. But if you have a point or something you need to tell me. It’s worth me stopping to listen to you. Now, if it’s an emergency, and I’m giving you every indication that you need to just listen and follow me, you need to do that. I’ve given her code words, because I think sometimes children are put in positions that aren’t always safe or comfortable for them. If there’s something that I’m missing, say the code word and I’m stopping everything so that I can speak to you. That’s important to me.

TR:
My babies are grown now, but I can tell you that’s some great advice.
Children need to know they can come talk to their parents and they will be heard.

Living a life of purpose, for Kiana, starts with being intentional about raising her daughter Cali. (Hi Cali!)
It includes her presentation of herself in the world.

Kiana:
I’m someone that’s really into They’re aesthetic, and not from a vanity standpoint, but in a professional and put together kind of lens.
There’s a misconception that blind people look a mess, because we can’t see ourselves and we’re not aware of a stain or a button or stripes and plaid and polka dots all put together.
I want my daughter to know [when I walk out this door, you look at that face that hygiene together, ] make sure your clothes are straight, you organize over the weekend. So you have your outfits already ready and lined up. And you go accordingly and you carry yourself with pride.

TR:
That’s pride in her full self.

Kiana:
I’m a woman. I’m a black woman. I’m a mom, I’m Kiana. [I love carnival, ] I love my family, my community. Oh yeah, I’m blind.

TR:
That pride and sense of self is evident in the way she maneuvers through all sorts of spaces.

Kiana:
So when I choose to come in here as an intern with education, and more experienced than people that are around me, I do so with pride, I do so with confidence, I do not have shame about it, because I’ve worked hard to be here. And I’m opening doors and making opportunity for the other visually impaired people who are coming behind me. I’m sharing my experience and hoping to provide resources, avenues and opportunities for empowerment within my community, particularly for women of color.

TR:
Empowering the community by sharing what worked for her.

Kiana:
Five years ago, I came into contact with the most impactful person to me in my blind journey, who was a really close friend, and he’s an athlete and really disciplined, really strong and powerful and smart. And he told me, I needed to find something. And he knew I liked bodybuilding. And I like lifting. But I was just kind of doing it solo, just because I liked it. I didn’t really have any friends to do it with me or at the level in which I was doing it at.

He’s playing gold ball, running and cycling and playing these different sports and none of them connected to me. So he brought me a baseball one day. It was a standard baseball and it had two little jingle bells in it. And he said, This is Blind Baseball.

TR:
He suggested Kiana speak with a colleague of hers at the Lighthouse who was already involved with the game.

Kiana:
I was like, No way You want me to be around a bunch of blind people all of us with canes. People are gonna laugh at us and point at us and stare at us.
I don’t want to hang out with the Blind kids. I’m too cool. I’m too pretty. I’m too vain. I don’t want to do it.

Mind you. I am blind. I have a cane. I’m talking about myself. But that was my truth. I was still embarrassed. I am highly competitive. I hope you and I never play Uno or anything. I’m flipping tables angry like.

TR in Conversation with Kiana:
Okay, I relate.

TR:
She had a change of heart.

Kiana:
So I get out there to Central Park to practice and I have on workout clothes. I’m feeling great. And there’s another woman there. And she has a hot pink sneakers and a kinky jersey. I thought she was so cute. Oh, so cute. And I was so mad at myself. I should dress cuter.
I wasn’t jealous, I was just like look at her being cute.

We started a running exercise where we had to run blindfolded, from home to first base.

— Music begins: A slow build up groove that leads to a slow hard core beat.

I ran like Frankenstein. Three steps in my hands out. I was scared I was gonna run into a pole. It is horrifying. It took me about 15 to 20 seconds. But I was scared. And then I watched the girl run.

She did a little bit better than me and I said Oh no. I will not lose to anybody out here. The next thing you know I’m running and I got down to nine seconds and the coach comes up to me he says , Kiana, do you work out I said do I work out five days a week every morning Of course I work out.

TR:
She quickly learned how to hit and became comfortable running the bases fast and free.

With her competitive nature kicking in, the coach now sees Kiana as a secret weapon.
By the time the next practice comes around, she ready.

Kiana:

The liaison from Italy happens to be visiting. And he watches me hit. Now I’m knocking this ball far. And he said, I think you can make the national team. And it’s only my second or third practice.
He said, if we get funding for you to go, would you want to try out?
I started in late May of 2022. By July 15, I was getting a phone call saying I made the national team and I was headed to the Netherlands to represent the United States, the only black woman on the team, one of two women to make the team. And that’s all she wrote.

TR:
No, that, was just the beginning.

The team traveled to the Netherlands. Kiana scores the first point of the tournament and the team ultimately brings home the bronze.

This was her first experience with team sports and organized athletics.

— Music ends!

It changed her life.

Kiana:
I had something to fight for. I had a group I had people who accepted me. And if we’re all blind, and blindness doesn’t even matter, right? That’s the common denominator. So now it’s who’s faster, who is stronger, who’s more powerful, who’s louder, who’s gonna Captain us who’s a follower who’s a leader.

Every good thing about me was kind of amplified and elevated. How much of a leader I am, how outspoken I am, how supportive how loyal I am, and how much I care about sharing this experience.

I brought my camera and my tripod. And I went live when we were in the Netherlands. I wanted my baby to see her mom at 39 change her life. I left a home, a business, a longtime partner, I left a bunch of things, to save myself to rescue myself. And this was my biggest rescue at that point, was deciding to do something I had never done before. And I killed it.

I decided this is going to be my thing, I’m going to grow the sport.

TR:
How will she do that, you ask?

Kiana:
I made myself the poster child for the sport in this country. Because I want to see it grow.

TR:
Not just for the sake of growing the sport.

First and foremost, it’s the example she is setting for her daughter. It’s also a chance to challenge and confront perceived limitations.

Kiana:
I take issue with the rates of obesity and heart disease and diabetes within the black community, but particularly within the female community for black women. Because I think sometimes socially, we put things in our way, whether it’s hair, whether it’s access to resources, whether it’s time, whether it’s motherhood, I mean a bunch of things become excuses for why we are not more active and healthy.

So what were visually impaired, you still could come out, I don’t want to see my community dying off 40 and 50 years old, and not making it to our 60s 70s 80s and even to three figures like why is that not on the table for us.

TR:
Can you tell Kiana’s pretty serious about Blind Baseball?

Kiana:
I became a beast about the sport. I am the secretary of the USBBA which is the US blind baseball Association, which was created to grow the sport. And there are other teams and groups that are doing blind baseball, and I love those guys shout out to the lions. But what I’m growing is based off of an idea where everyone has equal transparency financially is important. And all are welcomed, whether you’re 80 years old and you just want to come out here and walk the bases, or you’re a fresh 19 year old who’s jetting around the bases and anything in between This sport is for you. If you want to compete, I’ll help you get stronger. We’ll have practices based off your level. But I want everyone to come out. I want excited people to come out and volunteer, I want you to bring your kids and have them volunteer, I want this to be something that we are proud of. And that we take seriously.

TR:
If you’re in the NYC area, Kiana’s waiting for you.

Kiana:
Hashtag better than bronze, we created our newest team, the lighthouse guild lightning, which I’m the captain of a co captain, and we’re only going to grow. And this is not about me in the forefront. It’s about sport. It’s about how it made me feel. It gave me purpose. It gave me another purpose, another thing to fight for. And then my daughter likes to come volunteer. So whenever she’s here on the weekends, she comes out and collects balls and helps be a sighted guide to our participants. And she cheers her mommy on, and she knows I get busy on that field.

TR:
Getting busy on the field is one way to have fun while flexing those competitive muscles, but it’s also about community.

Kiana:
So I have always been someone really culturally connected and aware and really proud of my race and gender, and culture and nationality and all those things. And that has been a huge hallmark of who I am. And that didn’t change with visual impairment. In fact, it became more important.

Blackness or Caribbeanness or Latinus, or any of these identifiers become more personal when you lose your sight?
We begin to feel a sense of loneliness when you lose your sight, you can’t just make eye contact across the airport, when you see the only other black person going to Europe.
when we see each other we do the head nod. How do you do that when you’re visually impaired?

Kiana:
I’m looking to connect and make more friends in general but particularly with people of color Because I feel so marginalized and so underrepresented in some of these blind spaces that I’m in, I want to know where my people are.

I found them.

TR:
While at an event, spreading the word about Blind Baseball, Kiana met
Eyes Like Mine co-founder and Reid My Mind Radio family member and alumni Krystle Allen.

For the record, I had no idea when planning this season.

Learning more about the organization and the Miss Blind Diva Empowerment Pageant, Kiana decided to enter.

Kiana:
I am very competitive, I don’t go into anything without thinking I’m gonna win. I don’t know if this is for the faint of heart, but if I’m getting in this, your girl’s a beast, I’m gonna win. I believe in manifestation. But I also believe in working hard, and having good morals and ethics, and having a good product and being a representative of my community.
I’m going to use this space appropriately, because I may not have it tomorrow, but on this day, I’m going to show up. And I happen to connect with women who also wanted to make moves in the community. And so that began to make me feel even more powerful. Because I had other women beside me with their canes out, taking steps bravely forward, to tell our stories from our voice from our perspective, without someone else watering down or patronizing our experience.

TR:
The pageant has two segments; Ms. Blind Diva Empowerment and the Ms. Independent YouTube Challenge.
For the latter, contestants submit a video on YouTube that displays their independence. That could mean so many things for each person.
The winners are determined based on the number of likes received over a three week period.

And then just one hour before the end of the period.

Kiana:
I was outside fully glammed in a gown, makeup and everything on the corner in Newark at a bus stop. I was down by about 75 votes.
I stood on that corner and got every person that passed to vote for me. I put my money where my mouth is.
I’m good on any block.

The only three people that didn’t vote for me didn’t have the capacity because they had like flip phones or didn’t speak English or Spanish. I couldn’t explain to them why I was out there.

A city bus driver stop and got off the bus which he shouldn’t have and voted for me and then had people on the bus come off and

TR in Conversation with Kiana:
You had a QR code too?

Kiana:
I had to make it easy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I did.

TR:
Next thing you know, Kiana is crowned both Ms. Blind Diva Empowerment and Ms. Independent YouTube Challenge winner.

Kiana:
Those two titles are typically handed to two people. But because I said I’m a beast. I won both of them for the first time in history.

What was nice about this is it was a competition. But really there was such a collaborative spirit, all of us just wanting to do well.

And that’s okay to be competitive for things that makes sense. As long as it’s not over men in from nasty jealousy spaces, but really about excellence. That’s good. When we’re pushing each other to work hard.

Kiana:
And so sports, my baby and then this female empowerment within the blind community. It changed my life even more like just it grew me up further strengthened me and toughened me in a really profound way.

TR:
Adding to that list, prior to the pageant, Kiana found an art form that really resonated with her.

Kiana: 4
So I have always light drummers. I think female drummers are so attractive and powerful Sheila II
. If you’ve ever looked at the arm muscles of a drummer, it’s impressive, like and then the be a woman out there getting busy.

I found out that my captain of Team USA Alex Perella is a drum instructor. And so I said, Can you teach me he said, Yeah, I have weekly classes over at visions, which is an organization in New York City that support the blind and low vision community. And so he invited me to come out. Now I know I have rhythm. I know I can dance. I just need someone to teach me how to do this properly, because anyone could just go bang on a drum, but I want to get busy.

TR:
We’re talking about Congas to be specific.

— Music begins: A Conga rhythm.

Kiana:
these drums and this patterns and this beat comes all the way from Africa, all the way through the Middle Passage all through the chattel south all through the world.

When I thought about the pageant, I was thinking, somebody’s gonna sing, somebody’s gonna dance, somebody’s gonna do poetry. But how dope would it be to explain that drums and music are not a visual experience. This can be felt by people from the deaf community through vibrations. You feel this spiritually and emotionally.

I played and had that crowd rocking with me. And I just remember thinking like, I feel connected to this.

TR:
Think about that. That drum was once a tree with energy. The act of hitting a drum in different locations creating specific sounds and tones involves even more energy. All of that emanates through sound and vibration out to the world…

— Music ends!

to be shared with those nearby. It is a connection. It’s spiritual.

Kiana: 9
I’m willing to put my time in. And it also helps with dexterity. It also helps with autoimmune disease that I have, which is sarcoid and affects my hands and my knuckles. And so being able to engage my hands and strengthen them that way, just makes me healthier, emotionally and physically as well. You have to have good posture when you’re sitting at the drum for long periods of time. So it is challenging me and helping elevate me from a physical standpoint.

TR:
Drumming can be communal.

Kiana: 4 plus
I just love that there are so many blind people in this class and low vision people who want to express themselves in a way that perhaps they didn’t think was possible.

TR:
When it comes to the art of adjustment, people are the thread that connects it all together.

Kiana:
From the introduction of my friend that really prominent athlete to my community at Lighthouse to the women have LVH and Eyes Like Mine, they have made me want to fight harder,
they’ve been the fuel the people around me, especially the people who are more seasoned than me, because I aspire to be confident and have longevity in our community as an advocate, just like they are, and they were to me.

I believe that God positions people to help you He sends people your way that are going to influence ,impact you. And that’s what the blind community has been.

What I’ve been able to do is connect with like minded people, with hearts, for service, and for community in a really real way.

I’ve learned to kind of identify the areas that are important to me, we’ve talked about art, we’ve talked about athletics, we’ve talked about empowerment, my baby, being a prominent part of my life is really important that I have balanced, and that I’m able to effectively participate in these areas.

Regardless of whether you’re through Helen Keller or visions or lighthouse, whether you are in this pageant or playing this sport, or you’re just home or your goal is simply to be able to move around your house independently. I would like to be a person that advocates for you.

TR:
Kiana obviously has a personal connection to blindness which can explain that desire to be an advocate for others. But it goes further. She’s looking to provide relief to others in general through an organization she found with some friends.

Kiana:
The Rescue experience is a support group that my two friends and I created five years ago, and at that time, I was leaving a toxic and unfortunately, a violent relationship. And I just remember thinking, how am I going to figure this out. What am I going to do with being blind and single and just depressed and all these things.

And my friend, Lexy B told me, You have to rescue yourself. And then you have to tell people that this happened, part of your healing, and part of your journey is going to be you expressing that you went through this and that you’re losing your sight. And that you’re, you’re figuring these things out, you’re healing is going to come from you sharing.

TR:
After rescuing herself, she was able to begin doing the same for others.

Kiana:
Donating money to a woman who needs to buy coats for her children, or getting her hair done. Or sending someone we know who’s overworked and tired to a hotel for the night with dinner, and a spa the next day. People who just needed a little bit of help, who was doing the work, but just use a little bit of support.

TR:
They formed an LLC in order to begin sharing even more.

Kiana:
I’m ready to help people on a grander scale. And so we’re growing daily, and so that’s the rescue experience.

TR in Conversation with Kiana:: 3
I like everything about it, but I like specifically how the things that you’re providing. They’re not huge, It’s not a million dollar thing. It’s accessible. But I can imagine how much that means to that individual receiving that.

TR:
Kiana has her job at the lighthouse, Blind Baseball, Miss Blind Empowerment, she’s playing the congas and in between all of that helping to rescue others… that’s a lot!

I just had to come out and ask her..

TR in Conversation with Kiana:
So, how you chill girl? (Laughs)

Kiana:
(Laughs.)
I am deeply rooted and connected in my family. And so I love music. There’s always music playing in my house.
I love to dance. I love some good season food. I love to entertain. I have a lot of game nights in my house and we play different social games and drinking games and just an opportunity to connect.

I listen to Audible. Love to hear your voice when you pop up all these different audio descriptions and stuff.

I make time for myself. I mean Time to sleep in some days and to take naps. And to really thank God for all the opportunity, there was a time that I felt stagnant. So I do a lot of work. But I remember praying for something to believe in, something to get into. And now it’s here you can’t complain when you pray and your prayers get answered.

Right now is busy season so I just pray for strength and endurance like physical I get in the gym and I lift, mental and emotional to deal with all that comes my way. Working from home and being stagnant for some years. And so I gotta catch up. It’s work to be done.

TR:
Kiana has some serious energy!

I’m talking about both the vibe she puts out into the world.
And that high energy level as in, come on let’s go do this!

If you want to stay up with what she’s up to:

Kiana:
On Instagram, please follow me at pretty underscore blind underscore baseball
Facebook is Kiana V Glanton.
That is K I A n, Nancy, a, the letter V for Victor or victory. And my last name Glanton. G L A, N as in Nancy, T as in Tom, O as an Oscar, and N as a Nancy.

TR:
You can also catch her live on her Miss Blind Diva 2023 fan page every Monday.
If Instagram is more your thing, she’s live there as well, talking about various issues in the Blind community as well as the Rescue experience.

Kiana:
I’m raising money for the TD fiber or bike tour, I’m going to do a 40 mile charity ride. I’m asking people who are participating, to donate to that campaign, so that I can raise funds and awareness for adaptive athletics, which changed my life. I have not ever been on a tandem bike before my adulthood. And I’m about to do 40 miles in five boroughs with 30,000 people. So I got some work to do. And that journey is going to be online as well through the lighthouse guild on our social media pages, but particularly on my personal pages on pretty blind baseball or and Kiana V Glanton on Facebook.

TR in Conversation with Kiana:
Well Kiana when folks come on the podcast, and they share their story, they share their experiences. I like to welcome them and appreciate them. Let you know that you are now officially part of the Reid my Mind Radio family.

— Airhorn

Kiana:
privilege to be with you today. Thank you so much for this platform. Thank you for the work you do in our community. You Your voice is so powerful and meaningful. So I’m glad to be amongst good people and good company. So thank you to you and your listeners.

TR:
My conversation with Kiana actually began with her sharing her love for Caribbean Carnival. It wasn’t included here because it was a bit of a tangent. But on further examination it inspired deeper thought and generated some ideas.
Join me next time where I’ll talk about some of this and more in my continuous self-portrait.

— Music begins: An energetic percussive opening to a synth infused excited beat!

Have you told someone lately that you rock with Reid My Mind Radio and they should too?
Family, I don’t ask much from y’all, because I have my own issues around asking.
But here’s the absolute real deal, I’m not asking you for me. I’m asking you for those who I truly believe will benefit from what is being shared on this podcast. People like Kiana, Krystle, Andrew need to be all up in the ear holes of those adjusting to blindness and disability in general.

Ok, maybe that’s not a great way to put it but you know what I mean.

I’m being honest and sincere right now, I think we can make a difference in people’s lives. So the more we tell folks about what’s going on over here, the more likely that person new to disability, whatever it is… will find some helpful ideas, concepts and encouragement.
Reid My Mind Radio is available wherever you get podcasts. We have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com.
The only way to find the website, this podcast or me is by spelling it right,
that’s R to the E I D.
— Sample “D… And that’s me in the place to be!” Slick Rick.
— Reid My Mind Radio Outro
Peace!

Hide the transcript

TR:
Welcome back Reid My Mind Radio Family, as we move forward with our Art of Adjustment season.
As mentioned, I’m doing something a little different with these series of 8 episodes.
Each episode featuring the conversation with my guest, will be followed by a separate episode more personal to me. Based on some aspect of our conversation that resonates with my personal experience of adjusting to becoming Blind.

The purpose?

A challenge to myself and us all to really find the ways we relate to others. I think it could prove to be encouraging.

You know, my guest actually breaks it down.

Krystle:
in order for you to move forward, you have to find within yourself to accept that maybe this is how I’m going to continue on with life, be visually impaired. And that doesn’t mean that I can’t have joy. That doesn’t mean that I’m not going to live a full life. It’s going to be some challenges, of course. But it doesn’t mean that there is no life after it.

TR:
That’s Krystle Allen, from Newark, New Jersey.

Stand up Jersey! (Filtered voice as if on a telephone)

The co- founder of Eyes Like Mine Incorporated.

Krystle:
I am a short five, one and a half Afro Latina female. And I have curly wavy hair to the middle of my back. A nice round face, A rich chocolate brown complexion, a nice smile, dark brown eyes.

I am legally blind.

TR:
In addition to all of that, Krystle is the eldest of seven siblings and a proud aunty.

We’ll get into our conversation, but y’all know I need my intro music!

— Reid My Mind Intro

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
I want to first talk a little bit about adjustment in general, that’s a big part of what this season is all about. So, can you talk a little bit about the early days of your adjustment?

Krystle:
My adjustment to vision loss, it took a while to pack its punch at me.

Before losing my eyesight, I had never met anyone who was visually impaired or anywhere along the spectrum of vision loss.

Once that was given to me in different settings, from a medical perspective to just people I know who had the lived experience I began the process of accepting it.

TR:
I’m a firm believer in the power of people in our adjustment process.
While many different people play a role, there’s just something special about lived experience.

Krystle:
I think my family was going through it a little more than I was at first because they wanted to be there for me. And sometimes they were a little overwhelming with being there for me. But it seemed like they were going through whatever stages of adjustments originally more than I was, because I spent a lot of time with treatment for a year, with my condition in and out of different facilities. I was quiet at first, and very unsure. So, my family was very concerned about me being so quiet, because they didn’t know what I was thinking or how I was feeling about my new lifestyle now.

TR:
Still unsure of what it meant to be legally blind, Krystle, like so many of us experiencing blindness focused on how that would limit the things she’d be able to do.

Krystle:
Little by little, I just kind of tested myself, just because I wanted to try to begin being curious enough. I wanted to just like be the big sister and do the things that older siblings do for the younger siblings. And then I was also being a little selfish.

Music begins: A twisting synth opens up into a calm, mid tempo bounce.

My little brother, because he was turning six and learning his colors. I asked him do you know, red, yellow and green? And he’d say yes.

So when the light turns green, that means we can walk. When it’s yellow, we might have to speed up or slow down, or just stop. And when it’s red, we just gonna stop and he’s like, okay, okay, I was like, you have to hold my hand. He’s like, alright, so I wasn’t using a cane at the time.

TR:
Not unless her little brother’s name is Cain! (Chuckles) But she was a teenager, what do you expect?

Krystle:
And at that time, I was like the in house babysitter even more because my siblings were younger, my mother had to work. My grandmother was working. Everybody was out living their life.
When they needed a babysitter, it was me. So when me and Nick were alone, we would sneak out the house and go to the bodega and get us candy and junk and all the stuff we like, because one thing my family likes to do is give me a little change.

— Sound of change and money.

And then it turned to catching the bus downtown and going into stores to shop for clothes and I always made sure he had his McDonald’s and whatever.

And then one day, my mother found out me and Nick was out.

Sample Exhale… Ooh! You’re in trouble now.

Krystle:
That turned into one day my mom really really needed someone to pick up my other siblings from school and so she realized that I got back home thing, she was like, (in a voice as if imitating her mom) )”Krystle can you go pick up the kids from school?” And I was like, oh, oh now I can go pick them up huh?

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Chuckles

Krystle:
Being the oldest, I had to do a lot. I learned how to cook at nine years old.

My mother tricked me. She was like, (In a voice as if imitating her mom ) “Oh, you like scrambled eggs, right? (Chuckles) Do you want to try and make some scrambled eggs? So she’s showing me how to do it because I do need to know how to make it. And then all it took was that one time. “All right, Krystle, come make the breakfast for the kids.”

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Laughs

Krystle:
(Chuckles) Then scrambled eggs turned into baked chicken. But you know, my mom was giving me good tools to set me up for being just independent without having any vision loss.

That was kind of like me stepping into different stages of my independence again, because I was getting my role back as a big sister. I was learning me and my family was learning me as a person who was legally blind.

And then more and more things started happening with my adjustment.

TR :
Eventually losing even more of her sight, Krystle learned to use the white cane.

She used thick markers to start expressing herself in poetry. She began meeting others who shared tips for adapting. She was on her way to figuring it out.

Krystle:
I wasn’t sure of my vision limitations. It just took me so much longer to do things. But I realized that once I did try to see if I could still do what I would do regularly, that it was still achievable. I just had to either use a tool or figure out a different technique.

TR:
One of the things she figured out; Eyes Like Mine.

Krystle:
I worked in the field of different nonprofit non related to blindness in the support capacity. I have always been a part of community development. My dad’s side of the family. They’re very involved in community building in Newark where I live. My dad would pick me up and spend time with me, he would always take me to meetings. And then when I was at the meetings, I began volunteering. From stuffing envelopes to doing telephone banking, to canvassing around communities.

TR:
This exposed her to not only an understanding of activism and leadership but also influential people in the community.

Krystle:
Our current Senator Cory Booker, he was at my 21st birthday party. And he was very instrumental in me getting connected with the New Jersey Commission for the Blind to receive some of my blindness services. And I used to go to his meeting, volunteering, and canvassing and being a part of PSAs as a teenager, before my vision loss, and after my vision loss. So it was kind of like embedded in me.

TR:
Serving the community that is. Maybe it’s from observing other family members or being the oldest of seven, either way Krystle is a natural leader and problem solver.

While going through a breakup she came to a realization.

Krystle:
He’s not even thinking about me right now!

I called my friend, who we both share the same condition that led to our vision loss. And I just asked her, I said, Hey, you want to start a nonprofit organization? And she was like, Yeah I’m with it.

Neither one of us knew what was really going to happen. We didn’t have like a blueprint at first. And we were just thinking like, we’re young. We’re women of color. We’re visually impaired. But it wasn’t a lot of young people that we knew of at that time, in New Jersey, that were doing things to bring awareness.

In 2014, we were able to draft our bylaws and articles of incorporation. And in 2015, we received our 501 C three tax exempt status.

TR:
They began with events like a fashion show where they teamed up with an eye wear company and modeled cool looking shades.

Krystle:
We wanted to kind of like debunk the stigma of Ray Charles glasses. We want to be in style, but we also wanted to bring awareness to people about the importance of protecting their vision, and encourage blind people to feel good about fashion. We didn’t want to remain so event orientated because we really wanted to get to the nitty gritty of things where we can find ourselves connecting with other people’s stories in the blindness community to share their stories and our stories with our community near and far.

TR
That led to other programming including support groups, partnerships with the Lyon’s Club, the Miss Blind Dive Empowerment Pageant and Dancing with the Blind.

Krystle:
And some of these titles and names of programs might sound a little, I guess, funky, to some people, but they are heart feeling, programs and projects.

There were people who doubted us. People who said we should give our idea to other nonprofits under them.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Really!

Krystle:
Yep. And if we would have listened to them, we wouldn’t be making it this year to our 10th anniversary.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Wow. Well, congratulations on reaching your 10 years.

What was that about, folks telling you to give your ideas to other people?

Krystle:
It could have been many different reasons. Sometimes just the lack of understanding where we were going, what our vision was, everything is not for everyone. I understand that in the field of community development and nonprofit you’ll meet all types of people with different roles and agendas. I have learned that you’ll meet the “Taters”. The spectators, the haters, the speculators, the commentators. You know? (Laughs)

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Laughing…

Krystle
All of those taters. (Laughing)

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
The Tater Tots! (Laughing)

Krystle:
I just know that we have been very blessed. I’m still very grateful. Because I’ve learned so much. I’ve made mistakes within my nonprofit. But with those mistakes I’ve learned from them, and it’s given me opportunities to really grow as an individual and grow as a leader.

Every leader doesn’t know everything. And is the reason why we need communities to support us so that we can elevate and we can continue to enhance our impact.

Leaders need people not just to serve, but to guide them too.

Audio from a prior Miss Blind Diva Empowerment Pageant:
Co founder Naquela Wright Privo:
“This is about empowerment right? And so I wrote this song to explain my journey with my blindness and where I’m at now. Singing….
No more with the hiding, no more with the jokes, I’m going to face everything I don’t know
It’s time for me to live my life
And I can’t believe I found what I wasn’t looking for”
… continues under TR VVO

TR:
The Eyes Like Mine Miss Blind Diva Empowerment Pageant began first with an open call for nominations of a Blind woman who is a pillar in their community.
Someone who stands out.

Krystle3:23 AM Friday, February 9, 2024
In a way that made you want to connect with more women who are visually impaired and blind.

We announced her in our first year anniversary at a restaurant called Diamonds in the rough. Jay Z’s mom, Gloria Carter actually was one of the owners.

We were able to welcome Patricia Eboo (Spelling uncertain)as our very first. We crowned her and she gave a speech. We decided, to do a full pageant. And we knew that it would be the only one for blind women in New Jersey. And we just wanted to bring more attention to more dynamic women in the blindness community.

A pageant coach, we had a host, we had a DJ who is blind, Mary Kay, makeovers for our ladies.
Since 2017, we have had a pageant every year, even during the pandemic, where we had two virtual pageants in 2020, and 2021.

TR:
From it’s origin, Miss Blind Diva was never your typical beauty pageant.

Krystle:
We do emphasize the word empowerment because a lot of women who have applied and participated, it may have been their very first time participating in a pageant. And the name came from a nickname I gave myself when I first began college, which was Miss Blind Diva.

TR:
It’s actually sort of two pageants in one.
Miss Blind Diva Empowerment and the Miss Independent YouTube Challenge.
For the latter, contestants submit a video on YouTube that displays their independence.
That could mean so many things for each person.

The winners are determined based on the number of likes.

Krystle:
And then that evolved into getting a crown and sash, a fan page, some small cash, and other different things like photo shoots and interviews, being a part of the public service announcement with a local cable channel to even attending the ultimate women’s expo and meeting Fantasia and Abby from Dance Moms, like it’s really been growing and growing and growing.

TR
Of course Miss Blind Diva also wins prizes.

Krystle
Now she receives $1,000, the title, the crown, different appearances that the organization is that
her fan page. Mondays now at 7pm where you can connect with our title holders, on their fan pages. And they’ll speak about things of interest things related to blindness, things related to them being the title holder.

We’ve had women participate as close as New Jersey, Texas, California, Maryland, Florida, Pennsylvania and as far as Kenya, Russia and Jamaica.

TR:
Is the next Miss Blind Diva part of the Reid My Mind Radio Family?

Krystle:
and we just hope that this year will bring another great experience. It will be the eighth annual Miss Blind Diva Empowerment Pageant , which we will hold on October 4, and fifth and 2024.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Are there pageants Like that in other states that you know of?

Krystle
I’m not sure, I don’t like to spill out inaccurate information.
I do know that they have Miss wheelchair New Jersey and Miss wheelchair America. There’s one called Miss amazing for another disability community that I’m not really familiar with. So there’s all kinds of pageants but I haven’t heard of another one that is for blind or visually impaired women. But I know that we were the first in New Jersey,

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Well, I’m gonna say you’re the first in the States period. That’s what I’m gonna say. Anybody want to correct me bring your receipts? Let’s go!

Krystle
Laughing….Oh my goodness!

TR:
I respect that commitment to accurate information even when marketing.

No need to lie or stretch the truth when you have catchy phrases like….

(TR in Conversation with Krystle: plus)
The first one that I noticed was Going growing and glowing. Is that right?

Krystle:
So it just happened that during one of our witness support groups, I was just kind of sharing a message with the attendees. And I just said, you know, we are looking forward to our 10th year anniversary and we’re counting down to just evolving and expanding and going growing and glowing.

TR:
Her friend and co-founder Naquela Wright, thought that could be a good slogan.

Krystle:
It represents where we are going, how we are growing, and how we show up shining around the world. It just represents a lot of empowerment, not just in women, but in the blindness community. For us to have the visibility that we deserve in all areas.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Ok! That’s a whole other G status. I like it.

TR:
Then there’s; Eyes Like Mine Where vision loss doesn’t break us, it builds us.

Krystle:
There is life after blindness. It’s an opportunity for us to just connect with the life that we can still assume, the acceptance of our lifestyle, and the culture of blindness.

in order for you to move forward, you have to find within yourself to accept that maybe this is how I’m going to continue on with life, be visually impaired. And that doesn’t mean that I can’t have joy. That doesn’t mean that I’m not going to live a full life. It’s going to be some challenges, of course. But it doesn’t mean that there is no life after it.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
That’s a perfect way for you to tell me a little bit more about the support groups that you offer.

Krystle:
Usually, the structure of our support groups are that we have featured speakers, we may play some virtual games. We often make sure that everyone who’s attending can exercise their voice, we want to make sure that it’s a talk with you not a talk at you.

The support groups right now are all virtual.

Every first Thursday of the month at 7pm. On zoom, we will have our women of Power Support Group.

TR:
In addition to the Women’s group there’s a men’s group. And periodically, they come together. I had the honor of being a speaker during one of these joint sessions.

I gotta be honest y’all, I think I lost the fellas that day.

I joked about how their name was something like Gentlemen of Leisure while the women are Women of Empowerment. I suggested they step up their game. It was a joke.

They didn’t like it.

Ok, in hindsight, perhaps it wasn’t a good introduction.
I still think it was funny

Krystle:
I’m listening to you, fellas. I really, really am. I’m trying to do more things that represent the men. And I need men to guide me because I don’t know, your life. And my voice was so light. I’m like, Are they gonna even listen to me? I have some men coming at me. Like, why isn’t there a pageant for the blind men?

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
If that’s the case organize it. See how many people you’re gonna get! (The two laugh….)

TR:
I’m saying, fellas. I don’t know what that would look like but go ahead and put it together.

As with the other programming from Eyes Like Mine, Krystle recognizes the importance of understanding that our conversations and interest go beyond blindness.

Krystle:
We have our leisure moments within the support group. It’s important that we kind of had the diversity and conversation. So that’s why we don’t just speak about blindness. And sometimes there are people who are new to the visually impaired community and some who might be a little more suited. So it’s a mixture of all kinds of people. It’s all adults.

Krystle:
Our support groups are under a network through the New Jersey Commission for the Blind and Visually Impaired. Aspire peer support network where it is over 60 plus, peer led support groups across the state of New Jersey, virtually and in person. And Eyes Like Mine organizes the support under this network, so that more people can connect with information resources, and the overall socialization.

TR:
For those who may not be the type to want to have in person conversations whether virtual or not, Eyes Like Mine has you covered.

Krystle:
So we have a group on Facebook called the Peer Support Hub, a division of Eyes Like Mine And anyone can join it. It’s a private group. So you can request access. And there’s a little over 300 members in It. It’s a space where you can share your thoughts, your images, your videos, if you have events or programs like you have your show Thomas , we want your posts about your interview.
It’s a safe space, it’s a way that people can access more information and meet more people.

I’m gonna do my first live cooking. It’s called crushing it in the kitchen. And I’m gonna be showing my guess, viewers how I use my independent skills to cook in my kitchen.
And it’s also a way for me to be encouraged to cook because I’m living the single life and Uber Eats gets expensive. I can cook, I just hate the process. I just wish that the meal would appear and then you know, and then the dishes would disappear

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
You gotta work on that one. (Laughs )Let me know when you get that going. Yeah.
So what’s on the menu? What you cooking? Not those same scrambled eggs, right? (Laughs)

Krystle:
(Annoyingly)You know what? No!

TR:
Ok, y’all, apparently I have to work on my humor. It was a joke.

But what’s no joke is Krystle, doing her thing.
Krystle
I’m gonna try to make it as regular as I can. It’s a personal thing. But it’s also in conjunction with my organization, because there are a lot of Blind people who are afraid to cook. There’s a lot of people who might just make easy things. Why shouldn’t we expand our idea on being comfortable in the kitchen?

I’m going to try to do a step by step with all of my process, and I’m gonna make mistakes because this is live (chuckles) it’s not scripted and it won’t be edited.

To those who are visually impaired or blind, it will open up their minds to the possibilities that if they don’t feel comfortable cooking right now, there is still hope that they can become comfortable. And it’s okay to make mistakes.

When I do make mistakes they’ll know that okay, it’s alright to make a mistake. You could still finish cooking your meal.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
That’s a great metaphor for adjusting period.

Music begins: A bright and cool upbeat Hip Hop jam.

TR:
Adjustment doesn’t have to be painful!

Support also looks like Dancing with the Blind.

Open to all age groups, it’s the Eyes Like Mine version of Dancing with the Stars.

Krystle:
But in this instance, our celebrity is the blind, or the visually impaired or the deaf blind. And their partner will be someone who’s sighted. Dancing with the Blind can be coupled in a group of two people or more. Once you find your person or if you need us to find a partner for you, we can do that as well. You can select whatever genre of dance or music that you want to prepare for. They have to pick a team name, they have to have a particular kind of costume, whatever represents their style of dance. It’s judged. And we have vendors who have resources, products and services. We have host, our DJ pumpin’ it up. At the recital competition, whoever wins at the end will go home with $500.

TR:
Even Newark’s Mayor, Ras Baraka, son of the writer, poet and activist Amiri Baraka participated.

The event, which sounds amazing, concludes with a group choreographed dance.

Krystle:
Our champions from 2023, Their team name was called Hot muffins.
It was a couple of people, one who was newly visually impaired, the young lady her name is muffin. And her partner His name is Chris. They did a Latin fusion to Taki Taki the song that features Cardi B. It was really fly how they did their dance.

Muffin is very new to the visually impaired community. So it was just such a emotional victory for her when she won.

So we’re looking forward to bringing it back. This is also going to be with the support of the Newark Arts Council who selected Dancing with the Blind at their art start many grants application. This is our first time bringing it back to Newark since the pandemic,

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
okay, I love it. I don’t know if I want to take that money, but I’m gonna have to think about it. (Laughs)

Krystle:
Yes! C’mon Thomas.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
So it has to be two people, I can’t just come in by myself and just do the Wop? I can’t just Wop it out.

Krystle:
WHAT? No. No. Mm, no, not at all. (Laughs)

TR
Y’all are lucky. I don’t play when it comes to the Wop.

Krystle along with her dance partner Tony who is also Blind teamed up for some salsa dancing.
! (Filtered voice)

TR:
Eyes Like Mine, Miss Blind Diva Empowerment, Miss Independent, Support Groups; all of these programs focus on providing for others.

Krystle:
This may I will be entering a milestone birthday year. I will be 40 And I realized that I do a lot for other people. And it’s very rewarding to me, because that’s just in my spirit. But I need to start doing more things for myself personally.

So one of those things, is challenging myself to have different experiences.

I was born and raised in Newark New Jersey. And this is where my organization was founded also. So I just wanted to do something that represented my city. And that kind of had a correlation to some of my interests, which is fashion and connecting with people. So I entered the Miss Newark USA pageant.

TR:
The goal of Miss Newark USA, created in 2018, is to spread awareness of pageantry, with workshops, etiquette classes, modeling classes, and amazing experiences to enhance careers.

Krystle:
Directed and organized by Alicia Marie blanks. And her mother, Miss candy a mother and daughter duo, women of color. So that was even more empowering for me to participate in it.

TR:
Like other pageants, Miss Newark USA consists of different competitions including congeniality, fashion and talent

Krystle:
I sang the song “Vivir Mi Vida” by Marc Anthony, which means living my life, I thought it was a very great song to represent who I am, because I am just doing that living my life. And just being curious enough about what goes on in life to attach myself to different things.

And then when it was time to announce who will be crowned Miss Newark USA 2023 They announced my name and I was so excited.

Tr in Conversation with Krystle:
Mimics the air horn!

Krystle:
(Chuckles) I’ll say I’ve had other wins in life, but I never won any competition outside of a spelling bee in third grade.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Especially for people adjusting to disability, whatever that is, I think winds are really important.

Tell me about some of the wins that you had throughout your life.

Krystle:
My dad was diagnosed with leukemia in February of 2021. And then my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2021.

And by November 2021 , they both were declared a clean bill of health. That was a big win for me, because I still have them.

It has kind of transform me in a way where I’m trying to really appreciate life , for what it is.

I can wake up everyday and I get to talk to my parents, laugh with them, get annoyed with them, learn from them.

Getting to see my organization reach 10 years. I’m a woman of color with her own nonprofit for representing blindness.

I had people doubt my leadership, and people doubt my leadership to this day, which is fine. I’m glad that I don’t get easily discouraged.

it was a big support network that I have with volunteers, family, friends, friends of friends. People who are just getting to know me, they’re getting to know the organization and just having the chance to have someone believe in you.

TR:
Now, I can’t top that but I think there’s one more win.
Miss Newark, the original Miss Blind Diva, you, Miss Krystle Allen are an official member of the Reid My Mind Radio family!

— Air horn

Krystle:
Thank you. Thank you for inviting me and giving me the opportunity to share my message on your platform. I really appreciate you. it’s great to see blind black men doing their thing.

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
There it is! Yeh, and winning dance competitions too.

Krystle:
Ooh! You spoke it, you spoke

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
I gets busy.

TR:
For the record, I can do more than the Wop.
I can do the Smurf, the Baseball, the Running Man, the Caveman, The Pee Wee Herman, Electric boogie.
I’m not allowed to break dance any more though.

“Lawd if you’re listening. HELP!” Dave Chapelle “Half Baked”

Music begins: A chill, mid tempo groove.

TR:
Dancing is one thing, but Krystle, Eyes Like Mine are truly doing their thing for the community.

Krystle:
We are in partnership with the Source of Knowledge Bookstore, which is the oldest African American bookstore in New Jersey, Vistas Education and the United Way of greater Newark. And we have done about 80 installments of Braille overlaying African American children books, books like “Chocolate Me” by Taye Diggs, “If Kids Run the World”, “The 1619 Project” and a host of other books in our library to encourage access to grow literacy, and just overall literacy for children to build their vocabulary and gain knowledge.

TR:
recruitment for the 2024 Miss Blind Diva Empowerment Pageant begins on March 1.
The application is available now on their website.

Krystle:
EyesLikeMine.org

TR:
That’s where you can learn more about Dancing with the Blind and all of the activities and events from Eyes Like Mine.

Krystle:
The Peer Support Hub, a division of eyes like mine Inc, on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or X, YouTube our handle is @EyesLikeMine and our general email address events at EyesLikeMine.org

TR:
Reid My Mind Radio Family, let’s send Krystle and the whole Eyes Like Mine crew some love.
Welcome her to the family, let her know you support what she’s doing and just send her some energy to continue to be determined and not get dissuaded by the taters.

Next up according to the plan for this season, I’m continuing my Self-Portrait.
In the next episode, we’ll hear more from Krystle but I’ll show you how it relates to my own experience.

For example

TR in Conversation with Krystle:
Is there anything that you would want to tell a young crystal now if you could go back when you first got diagnosed?

Krystle:
I would say to myself it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.
It’s okay to feel what I’m feeling.

TR:
This struck me. It made me think of something specific from my early blindness days.
I’ll talk about it during the self portrait…

— phone ringing

along with a very special guest.

But until then, please, continue to help us get out the word about
all of the incredible people featured here on the podcast.
Tell someone you know who can benefit and enjoy what we’re serving up
that they can find it themselves wherever they get podcasts.
Explain that we have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com.
Go ahead and tell them that’s R to the E I D…

— Sample(“D! And that’s me in the place to be. Slick Rick)

Like my last name.

— Reid My Mind Radio Outro
Peace!

Sample: “Doctor said I need a backeotomy!” Dave Chapelle, “Half Baked”

Hide the transcript

TR:

What’s up Reid My Mind Radio Family?

Yo soy Tomaso, Thomas Reid, host and producer of this podcast – Reid My Mind Radio.

Welcome to those of you who are new here.

This podcast introduces you to compelling people impacted by all degrees of blindness and disability.

every now and then, like today’s episode, I share some of my own thoughts and experiences as a man adjusting to becoming Blind as an adult. And yes, I say adjusting, I don’t think I’ll ever really use the ed suffix on adjust. That’s not to mean there’s no progress. It’s just a continuous journey. Once you get to the understanding that it’s not one to be feared or even think negatively about, it gets better. But It’s like life, there’s always going to be change, and vision loss or any disability is now a part of that.

If that’s part of your reality, a family member or friend or maybe people you work with, well you’re definitely in the right place. If you yourself are going through some other sort of life change or you just like podcasts. There’s something here for you too, if you are opened to that.

Everyone is truly welcomed here with the exception of those with real hate in your heart. Energy works in mysterious ways and I don’t want that negativity being passed along to me or any of the family.

So let’s get this poppin!

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio theme

# Intro

Today I’m sharing some thoughts about this podcast. These are not stream of consciousness. No way I wouldn’t do that to you. My mind can be a scary place when I’m trying to figure things out.

Audio: Sound of chaos!

Chances are as I navigate these thoughts they will prove to be applicable to more than this podcast and hopefully useful to others. That’s exactly how I feel about every episode. I focus on those adjusting to blindness , but lots of others can relate and enjoy.

Audio: Typing sounds….

Since I began this podcast and maybe even prior, I have been very specific about saying I don’t see myself as a journalist. I’m an advocate, straight up! If you listen to the podcast, you know there’s a certain message about blindness and disability. My opinion or feelings in most cases are evident. The overall message is one of empowerment. I’m not impartial.

Audio: Possibly use old episodes here

As if journalism is really impartial.

There are times though when I need to make all sorts of journalistic decisions. It could be the way I edit or the specific questions I ask, even the overall feel of the show, the sound design. It’s intentional. My approach is different from your standard so called impartial reporter.

I’m connected to most people who are guests on the podcast. Usually, the connection isn’t personal. Rather it’s through blindness and disability Sometimes it could be race or we have something else in common.

I feel a responsibility to both my guests and listeners.

I want my guests to feel what I hear when they tell me their story. I want them to know I respect them and their experience.

I want listeners to find the multiple ways they relate to my guests. Yes, there’s the disability experience, but maybe they share a similar motivation, desire or goal.

That’s what I want, it doesn’t mean I can always make it happen.

every listener brings their own past, prejudices, preconceptions and experiences to the podcast.

That makes sense, it’s like anything else. Two people hear the same song , see the same film or read the same book and have drastically different interpretations.

Some people see a reflection of their own lives and goals while others never see themselves in a podcast where blindness and disability is so prevalent.

It’s probably not one or the other. I think there are some who have a bit of both. Either way, I can’t control that.

Which leads me to this statement…

“You should always remember, there are people worse off than you.”

Audio:

“No matter how you’re sad and blue, there’s always someone who has it worse than you”, Shaggy

YouTube Videos
* ” If you’re having a bad day, just consider the day ….”

* “Bare in mind, there’s always someone worse off than you”

Song sung by Little Richard at a MS Telathon.

“… As I look around, so many people who cannot walk, not talk nor see, I thank God for the health and strength that I have, for there’s someone worse off than I am.”
TR:

First things first…

I’m pretty sure I said this same thing at some point in my life. it’s a common statement and an accepted way of thinking.

But, what does it really mean?

How can you compare someone’s life and happiness without all the information??

Is this really pity?

As a content producer, I cringe when I hear it now especially in relation to my podcast.

There’s never been a guest on Reid My Mind Radio that’s in need of someone’s pity.

I then question the choices made for that episode

Did I present this person in a way that says they should be pitied?

I don’t think I focus on the illness side of things. I do include or mention mainly because;
Others with the same diagnosis can relate.
It can also serve as a way to normalize illness and disability. They are a part of life and not a mysterious thing that happened to one person.

AudioFx: Ambiance head in skull
Am I creating inspiration porn?

Most of you are probably familiar with that term. It’s the
idea of presenting people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability.

This idea that this person’s story which often you don’t even get, well it should inspire you or just give you that warm fuzzy feeling reminding you that most of the world is so considerate.

Watch how the rest of the high school students cheered on as the coach let the intellectually disabled kid in the game for the last 20 seconds.

News Report Audio:
Crowd cheering.Coach: He comes to ppractice everyday, he shoots with them, he cheers them on…”

TR:

Or…

News Reports:
Reporter 1: A very special student indeed…
Reporter 2: All thanks to the compassion of one of his classmates….
Reporter 3: But the emotion of this night involved a student who cannot take the field, but is universally admired for his determination…
Reporter 4: A special needs student with Williams Syndrome. He’s a fixture on the sidelineduring football games always rooting on the team. But hi fives are one thing senior prom is something different.
Student: She could have picked anybody to go to prom with.. her.

TR:

I just don’t want to put that sort of thing out in the world.

Does it sound like I’m making a big deal out of this? Maybe because I’ve seen inspiration porn live and in full effect. In fact, I unknowingly was recruited to be a part of the performance.

Audio: Dream Harp

Many years ago when I was still very new to blindness, I was asked by a local organization serving those with vision loss, to give a access technology demo during an event.

I took to the technology pretty quickly and they thought I could be helpful sharing that information.

There was no money involved of course, but they’d provide my transportation and I think there was going to be a lunch. Whatever, I was down to help the cause for sure.

I was setup y’all!

Arriving at the center, I was shown to the main room where the event was taking place.

There were three or four individuals with vision loss seated up in the front of the room. The rest of the group was seated around a large conference table.

I was shown to a table in the front of the room off to the side where I setup my laptop.

Shortly after, the host of the event, the director of the center, welcomed the guests and kicked off the agenda.

Each of the men and women seated in the front of the room were asked to share the story of their vision loss.

Here’s how I recall that event;
Audio: Trap Beat!

each individual told their story while the event host accentuated the misery.

Storyteller:
” Before I went blind, I used to take long walks in the park
Now, I can’t see anything, my whole world is dark!”

Host: “Pitch black, the world is dark, too dangerous for you in the park.

TR:

Laughs! I said, that’s how I recall it today, but that’s not exactly what happened. But I do recall the questions and comments from the host were obviously selected to highlight the negative.
She was playing to the fear of the guests seated around the conference table.
these were potential donors.
All who probably already had beliefs about blindness;
“it’s probably the worst thing that could happen to you and if we don’t help these poor people they won’t be able to do anything. They can’t do for themselves.”

I was setup to be a part of a dog and pony show to help fundraise for the organization.

the fact that it was a fundraiser isn’t the problem for me. I would have still agreed to attend.
However, I would not have participated if I was aware of the approach being used to raise that money.

My so called presentation was probably less than 5 minutes. The host asked some specific questions and then made it seem like it was my technology background that enabled me to grasp the tools and less about the technology as a tool for independence.

Then they pulled out the glasses.

Audio: Glasses clinking and sliding down a bar!

No, not drinks. I don’t even think that would have helped. . No, it was the blindness simulation glasses. These are created to help sighted people understand what it supposedly looks like when you have certain diseases like, macular degeneration, RP, glaucoma and others.

At first thought, you may think ok, that’s probably helpful. It helps people understand and therefore empathize? Sympathize?

Well, in this particular case, while the dog and ponies sat up in front and this one off to the side a bit, the sighted donors were led into their temporary world of vision loss.

Reluctantly at first, one after the other each slowly began trying on the glasses.

“Oh my”…. “wow”
“where did you go Jeanie?”

And then the real fun began as they exchanged glasses with one another. Laughing as they realized how little they could actually see. Unable to find things they placed on the conference table. The host joking as she moved their cups of coffee.

Meanwhile, the dogs and ponies sat up front. While the jackasses continued with their disability experiment.

Empathy, I didn’t see that. But a check was written.

I don’t remember how the event finally ended, but I do know that was it for me. I checked out. There may have been some additional conversation but I doubt I had much to say to anyone after bearing witness to that display of ableism. I vowed to never be a part of anything even remotely like that.

I could easily imagine each of the donors around the table going home fulfilled and thinking “I should really count my blessings, because there’s always someone worse off in the world.”

As far as I could tell, I was alone in my review of the event. I believe some of the others continued to participate. I pretty much severed ties and ended up having a sort of reputation, so I was never asked again. perfect!

All of this leads to my final question.

How are we telling our own stories?

I highly doubt any of the people sharing their story were given instructions on how to tell it. Chances are, the director simply knew these individuals would supply what she wanted for the audience.

Some may say the ends justify the means. The center received the money and therefore can do good things for the clientele. I don’t agree. I believe several of those in the room were employers in positions to someday hire a blind person. I doubt they would. But that’s a subject for another day.

What thought do you put into telling your own story?

In most instances, we’re doing the telling of our own story. We don’t have a videographer, podcaster, journalist.

We’re probably not standing in front of an audience equipped with a PowerPoint presentation. We’re simply talking to people. Most often one on one.

Crazy thing, I tell other people’s stories but not my own. I can do it in a presentation, no doubt, but one on one not so much. I feel strange.

Audio: Cameo Strange! moves into “Children’s Story” Instrumental Slick Rick

I should tell my story as if I’m giving a presentation. it’s mine, it’s a good one. It’s worth telling. It can be helpful.

And it’s the only one I have.

And in the event someone hears it and their thought is
“Wow, I’m so grateful because I’m not like Thomas!”

My response, Bruh, you should be so lucky!

I’m not flexing’ or being conceited or anything like that. But this is my life why shouldn’t I be proud of what I do, when I do it and how I do it.

the same decisions I make for my guests and you all the listener, shouldn’t I put that much time and thought into my own story?

If you say yes, then maybe you too should do the same.

I told you this wouldn’t just be related to podcasting. In fact, it’s not just related to disability.

Or is it?

“Here we go!” Slick Rick, Childrens Story

You can find Reid My Mind Radio wherever you get podcasts. And if for some reason that isn’t the case, like teddy said, come on over to my place… ReidMyMind.com. That’s R to the E I D

Slick Rick “D, and that’s me in the place to be”

Like my last name.

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio outro

Peace

Hide the transcript

TR:
Welcome back to another episode of Reid My Mind Radio. I’m your host and producer T.Reid. In addition to bringing you profiles of interesting people impacted by blindness, low vision, disability, I also use this space to share my own experience with vision loss.

January 2019 made 15 years of being blind. I thought about this on the day that marked the event, the anniversary of my surgery. After reflecting for some time I decided it should be a celebration. So I invited three of the most special people in my life to join me.

And it wouldn’t be a true celebration without you.

That’s up next on Reid My Mind Radio.

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio Theme Music!

Audio: “It’s Our Anniversary”, Tony Toni Tone (Instrumental)

TR:

Today, I’m celebrating a gift of 15 years.

I know celebrating blindness seems strange to some so let’s make this clear right now, I’m not celebrating loss.

Audio: “Do you know what today is…” ” Anniversary!” from “It’s Our Anniversary”, Tony Toni Tone

TR:

Interesting fact, most marriages where a partner experiences a disability, end in divorce.

I know a little bit about marriage and disability, but I invited a special guest to help me think about this subject.

Audio: “The Baddest Chick”, Trina

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Can you please just state your name for the record?

Marlett:
Marlett Reid

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

And who are you?

Marlett:
I’m the baddest chick!

Audio: As the music gets louder …

Marlett:
I’m your wife!

TR:
First, I asked Marlett to talk about what she felt were the main challenges to relationships impacted by blindness.
Marlett:

One of the challenges would be communicating. Which is considerably hard if that’s not something you normally do. And even between us we needed to be a little bit more gentle with each other’s feelings so that the other person can hear and then once that takes place then I think both parties would be able to work together. I think that was a huge challenge for us. Being able to work together or to hear each other because of not fully understanding how to communicate.

TR:
Poor communication impacts any relationship. Now take away the most relied upon method of communicating among sighted folks. That just enhances any existing problem.

Then there’s external forces.

Marlett:

People can be really rude!

They look at us as being different and their just curious. I remember it was our anniversary and we went to Atlantic City and we were online and waiting to get into the restaurant or it was a comedy club. I leaned in to tell you something and you bent down and the two women behind us leaned in as well. Laughs!… to hear what it was I was telling you or to see if they could read lips. And then I started telling that they’re leaning in… laughs… they’re leaning in to hear what I’m trying to say to you. This is what I was whispering to you.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

TR:
Laughing.. And what did I say…cause I know I probably said something stupid!

Marlett:
I know you were fascinated by it. You were like “seriously!”

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Yeh, I didn’t know!

Marlett:

Right. But that wasn’t like the first time which is why I told you. it was way more than once…

Or, we’re walking down the street and especially if it was men. They weren’t rude or anything, they would get out of our way . They were respectful in that regard. Not trying to mess with us or anything but they would just stare at you. I would look at them and then they would acknowledge me.

They would just stare at you!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

… long pause

So wait are you saying women don’t stare at me?

Marlett:

Laughs… Yeh, they stare at you too sweetheart.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Ah, thank you Hun!

Marlett:

There was the time the woman tried to give you her number. You thought I didn’t know.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

You making this up… Long pause…
Did that really happen?

Marlett:
Such an idiot!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

(Regarding the men staring)

What do you think that’s about?

Marlett:

You look like them. Yet you don’t.
And the fact that you look like them kind of bother’s them. They’re fascinated like how are you able to do this and that. There’s many things that are probably going through their mind, but they’re still freaking rude.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Yeh! Now the ladies they stare for different reasons!

Marlett:

Because they think you’re hot. mm hmm!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Thank you sweetheart.

Marlett:
You’re welcome!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
I appreciate that. Do you want to share what we came up with because I always thought that was a great response to those types of situations. On how to handle it when people are leaning in to our conversations. You want to share what we came up with ?

Marlett:

It’s G, G rated! (Referring to the podcast.)

TR:

Putting my begging for compliments and attention aside, did you notice that. Listen again!

Marlett:
They look at us as being different.

TR:

She could have said they look at you as being different, but she didn’t. She said us. Just an observation.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

We know that relationships are tested during times of all types of hardships. We had a lot of things going on at the time that people say are the most difficult things to deal with;
We bought a house, you were pregnant, my brother passed away and then we found out I was going to be Blind.

Marlett:

Yeh!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
If you could kind of go back to any point in these 15 years, is there anything that you would tell yourself then that you think might be helpful based on what you know now?

Marlett:

I think I would tell myself to know the imp0ortance of total acceptance.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Acceptance of what, what does that mean?

Marlett:

Finding out that you were going to be blind just to accept that. Understand that is the way it’s going to be. He’s going to be blind. So go from there, what are you going to do now? Not try to find a cure. What are you going to do? How are you going to live your life? That’s the important thing.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
You’re saying you sent time trying to find a cure?

Marlett:

I would say probably about three months or maybe a little bit more. I would go downstairs in the basement that’s where we had our computer at the time

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Heh! And it was cold down there too!

Marlett:

agrees)
It was really cold and I had contacted a lot of Doctors. I got responses back. If they didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear I’d continue.

[TR in conversation with Marlett: ]

Wow!

Marlett:

You see some of these people and they saw their wives for the first time. They have the glasses they put on and they

[TR in conversation with Marlett: ]

They had that back then?

They were working on it back then and I knew about that. I would see if you were a candidate.

I would tell my story . I got a lot of responses.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

What did they say?

Marlett:

One Doctor I think he realized that I was contacting almost everybody. He said to me.. let me explain something.

They would need the Optic nerve and you didn’t have the Optic nerve on the left or on the right. There was absolutely nothing they were going to be able to do. He was trying to let me know I could stop writing everybody and (laughing ) I guess stop annoying them. Although he didn’t say that. He really went into detail and I think that was my last one I got and then I stopped.
[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

So if you’re doing this and somebody’s telling you to accept it, I don’t think that would have done anything for you. Just the words, like what would have made you…

Marlett:

No, that would have done it and I’ll tell you why. No one was telling me anything. They would tell me… “Oh I’m so sorry!” “Oh you poor thing” I didn’t want to hear all that. If someone sat me down and said you’re trying to find this cure that’s not there when your husband’s there you just need to accept him. If it’s meant to be, if there’s going to be something you know you’ll come along and you’ll find it. But not to sit down here and spend hours and hours because I had no one to talk to. No one understood. I was just annoyed when they did say something which was usually something stupid.

TR:

15 years later, I can see the value in celebrating all aspects of My adjustment.

Remembering the good and bad.

All of the thoughts following the realization that I would never see again. The things I naturally thought I’d miss. The inability to see a future.

After a while though, there were breaks between consecutive days of feeling that way. Bridged by small successes along the way. Days that included accomplishments, random laughs and even short glimpses of hope.

A bit more confidence returning every day. Even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Like the realization that the things I thought I’d miss weren’t as important as the things I still had.

Like my baby girls!

A 6 year old.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

Please state your name.

Riana:
My name is Riana. (Sounding tired or sad…)

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ah, what’s the matter Riana… (baby talking voice…)

Riana:
Laughs… shut up!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

laughs… For the record, how old are you?

Riana:
21.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
What happened to 21 Honey!

Riana
No, it was 20 Honey! And 21 is 21, 21, 21 cause that’s what 21 Savage says. Duh!

TR:
And that little baby who was born just prior to me losing my sight.

Audio: “Hi my name is Raven!”

TR:
Well, that was her at about 3… here she is now.

Raven:
Hi, I’m … (laughs)!my voice cracked! Hi, I’m Raven!

TR:
Two baby girls and two separate experiences of my blindness. Well, maybe some overlaps.

The differences seem expected. One knew a father with sight the other never really did.

Let’s start with Riana.

I asked both of my daughters to give some advice to a little girl who is experiencing what they did as a child of a parent who becomes blind.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

She’s dealing with issues that you did deal with . People who stare.

Riana:
Mmmm!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

What would you say to her in terms of dealing with those types of things.

Riana:
I’d say first off, I completely understand what you are going through, because I deal with it all the time! (Expressed forcefully)

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
What is it that you deal with?

Riana:

People staring at my father. People staring for too long. That’s what the problem is…
I feel like… (exhales in frustration) I’m trying to get my words together because my temper’s coming up! I don’t want people to view me as such!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ah, so you get angry.

Riana:

I don’t get angry. I get annoyed.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
About?

Riana:

About people. I’ll be blunt. People just don’t know stuff. Their trying to learn because they’ve never seen it before. I don’t even mean a Blind person. It can be anything. I stare at things some times. You might stare at things.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Laughing… No I don’t …

Riana:

I get it. I’m talking to that little girl.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Oh, ok!

Riana:

Saying that like she might stare at things too. Everybody stares

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
What do you think the difference is between a normal stare and a stare that becomes intrusive?

Riana:

When you stare too long! When you’re staring at people just doing regular Things. Let’s say your father has a guide dog. You’re looking at the guide do and you’re like ok this is interesting this is new, well maybe I’ll Google this and then you stop staring. But when you’re just staring a person if you literally turn the table clearly that would make you uncomfortable. Stop doing that!

I’m trying to do like the four principle things and one of them is don’t take things personally but when people are in your personal space I’m going to take it personally!

TR:

Riana’s passionate about this subject.

She’s referring to the book by don Miguel Ruiz, called The Four Agreements.

Riana:

You have every right to take it personally, but don’t let it hurt you because you have to understand that it’s all on the person and not your father or mother who lost their sight. And I know for a fact that I knew that when I was younger but I did not know how to communicate that to you Daddy because sometimes I thought that, you did say that, that I was embarrassed by you but I wasn’t . I was just annoyed by people. That’s literally been me since day one. I don’t like when people are r nosy. When we go to all white places like the diner and I would get mad that people stare. People were not staring because you were Blind people were staring because we were Black and that makes me mad.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

Laughs.

Riana:

But I’m not embarrassed. I’m serious, I’m not embarrassed to be Black.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
No doubt!

Riana:

You know what I mean. That gets on my nerves when people are so intrusive. I can be quiet and shy, but I do have a very strong opinion about almost everything in life so I sometimes want to communicate that opinion to these people. Stop looking. You want to learn more, YouTube. There’s literally the whole entire internet for you to learn. Or if you want to learn more come talk to him. Like ask him some questions that are not offensive you know what I mean, think before you say. So that’s what I would tell to the girl. If you really truly have a problem and they’re really staring you can go up there and talk to them and say like hey if you have some questions you can come up and talk to my father or my mother. But if you’re not going to ask the question stop staring, cause you got a phone!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Got a phone as in you can Google it!

Riana:

There’s computers. If you don’t have a phone or a computer there’s a local library. Like come on! There’s so much knowledge you can get! (Said very intensely!)

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ok, alright, alright! Easy easy, woosa!

Riana:

Woosa!

The two laugh…

Riana:

Daddy I’m rocking back and forth…

The two laughing!

It just gets on my nerves some times.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ok, so now what would you say to the parent. Because you said something interesting that I assumed you were embarrassed.

Riana:

You did. All the time!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Laughs…

Riana:
I’m serious you did.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
I don’t know about all the time but, but ok, ok! Part of that is because you were too young like you said to communicate back.

Riana:

Communicate how I felt!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
So what would you say to a parent?

Riana:

That sometimes kids don’t know how to communicate how they feel. Sometimes the other person doesn’t know the words to say about the situation.

TR:

Good advice and the whole idea that the problem is with the person staring and not taking it personally… I love that.

For Raven, who was born right before I became Blind there’s no change, nothing to really adapt to. Having a Blind Dad, well that’s just…

Raven:
Just like having a Dad but he can’t drive me places. Laughs… Like that’s it. That’s the only difference.

TR:

Normal

Raven:

I thought everyone had a parent that was blind.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

Laughs…I don’t know why that makes me laugh.

Raven:
I don’t know either.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
It’s cute and it’s also… I think my child needs help.

Raven:
I really did.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
No, I’m just joking!

Raven:

I have cousins. I did not process this thought.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

No, but that’s cool though!

TR:

Laughs…Normal is in the eyes of the beholder!

Now look! Don’t let her calm approach fool you.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
What were the questions that you got from school?

Raven:

I remember getting annoyed at certain questions because people would ask really stupid things.

Like “How does he eat?”

Like with a fork!

If someone asks like how you lost your sight, I’d be like oh cancer. I would be fine answering those types of questions. But yeah, they either ask stupid questions or it would just be like how did he loose it.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Nobody was like you know, teasing or nothing like that?

Raven:

I would have punched them!

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

Ok, I raised you right!

Raven:
Laughs!

TR:

Raven’s advice for that young girl who’s parent is newly Blind is a little different.

Raven:
Well, I’d tell the child that their hearing is advanced so you can’t get away with anything. So don’t try it!

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Laughing… Oh my goodness.

Raven:

No that’s an actual thing. You lose your sight other sights (senses) get hire.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
I pay attention. No, no it’s not!

Raven:

It’s a thing. I learn that every single year in Science.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

They are incorrect!

Raven:

It’s like if you’re trying to listen to a conversation and there’s a bunch of conversations going on around you and you’re listening to that one conversation and you’re focused on that one.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
You’re focused. Nothing increases.

So for example. If you have a radio in here, right. That radio only goes up to a certain volume.
Raven:

But if you plug a speaker in…laughs…

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Laughing… No but , just because that speaker loses a button doesn’t give you an extra speaker.

The two laugh together.

Wow, my own daughter has that false belief.

Raven:

I was told that every single year of my life.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
By who?

Raven:

My science teachers. I’d tell you the stories back in the day how like every time we’d talk about …

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Senses?

Raven:

Senses! I’d be like hey guys my Dad only has four… laughing…

But we’d always talk about the senses and they’d be like if you lose one of your sense the other ones are increased.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
No, it’s false!

Raven:

Did you feel that punch!

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Yes.

Raven:

Exactly, you would not have felt it if you could see!

The two laugh…

TR:

Not only is there false information and stereotypes, but if you think about the way the word blind is used and it’s understandable why people can have a hard time accepting blindness.

More often used to describe everything other than the loss of sight.

Audio: Mix of songs featuring metaphors for blind…

“I’d rather go Blind” Etta James
“When a Blind Man Cries” Deep purple
“Channel Zero” Public Enemy begins with “You’re blind baby, you’re blind from the fax cause you’re watching that garbage!

TR:

Pair blind with other disabilities and oh boy!
As in you’re deaf, dumb and blind.

It’s no wonder that For many adjusting, blind becomes a word to run away from. I don’t think I ever had that choice.

Avoiding the word Blind was the equivalent of trying to pretend I was sighted. I just wasn’t going to be able to get away with that so why even bother.

the word that I did have some feelings about was disabled. I felt as though it ruled out all of my possibilities. Where blind was specific to my eyes, disabled seem to imply that there was nothing about me that worked. A disabled car sits on the side of the road until taken away and or repaired. Athletes on the disabled list don’t even get to suit up for a game. Once again restricted to the sidelines.

But, adjustment is ongoing. You learn new ways of thinking about it, new philosophies.

Like choosing how you view disability.

Do you see it from a medical perspective? As in we need to heal or cure it in order to fix all of the related issues.

If we cure that blindness you won’t need a screen reader. Just fix those legs and who needs curb cuts for wheelchairs. You don’t need wheelchairs.

What about an alternative perspective?

Like the problems with disability stem from the lack of access and societies negative perceptions and expectations.

I also became familiar with person first language as in a person with a disability versus identity first as in Disabled person, Blind person.

This is recognizing Blind as an additional characteristic.

Riana:

If somebody asked me what my father is, you know I might say he is Blind. He’s Black. He’s bald. My father’s probably why I’m this. Or he taught me this or he’s my best friend, I might say that!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ah, thank you sweetheart.

Riana:

I might leave the baldness out but I’d say he’s Black and Blind.

[TR in conversation with Riana]

You changed my Netflix profile to say that!

Riana:

Laughs.. Yeh, baldy!

The two laugh…

TR:

But, isn’t blindness and disability something I’m supposed to overcome?

Audio examples from news segments bridged by static signal…

“He overcame the odds and conquered his disability in the most incredible way”
“Made his disability anything but a disability”
“Doesn’t use her crutches as a crutch”

TR:

We hear things like ” You do that so well I forget you’re blind Based on the common belief around disability, around blindness well, I know I’m guilty of thinking it was a compliment. But it’s not!

More than likely, it’s not said with bad intent. No, they believe this based on their image of blindness. To them not seeing it says something good about you and them. Similar to the false idea that being color blind is helpful to race relations.

I want you to see my blindness. I really want you to know what it actually means and get rid of the nonsense we’ve been fed.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Do you think you look at blindness differently after 15 years?

Marlett:

Yes.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Tell me.

Marlett:

Blindness affects your eyes and that’s it. Not your mind. Not anything else. You just got to do things differently.

TR:
My blindness is now a real part of me. Like other aspects of who I am it’s reflected in the things I do.

My blindness is in the way I walk down the street. And yes, my blindness still has a bop to it!

My blindness is in how I raise my kids. The way my family and I travel. It’s right here in the way I produce audio.

I once thought my podcast shouldn’t be limited to my blindness.

I thought certain topics were blindness related and then there was everything else…

One in 5 people have a disability. Blind people participate in every aspect of life.
Politics, Art, culture, sex.

Me producing and hosting means I can bring a blindness perspective. It doesn’t mean I have to, but there’s no real reason I can’t or shouldn’t.

It’s a part of me and therefore a part of the things I do.

It’s not all of me but a part. I mean, I’ve been blind now for 30 percent of my life.

The name may not reflect it out right, but this is a disability podcast. It’s a blind podcast. It’s everything that I am. It’s Black, it’s Hip-Hop! Those who know can hear it.

It just is because it’s me and it’s my thing!

Audio: It’s My Thing, EPMD mixed into 7 Minutes of Funk…

I don’t consciously recognize my anniversary every year. If it makes itself present, cool! I acknowledge it and personally reflect. Would I like a cake and full celebration? Who wouldn’t like cake?

But I want this celebration to not be mine alone.
I’m thinking of those going through something similar.

For many, the idea of becoming blind is worse than death. That’s not hyperbole.
Different polls have shown this to be true for many.
I’m alive and kicking so I guess I can’t truly make the comparison.

I know not everyone consider celebrating 15 years of being Blind…

Marlett:

If I had to be honest, that’s not how I looked at it. Although I tell you, I remember the prayer that I had. I don’t care what happens, just don’t take him from me. I’m going to start crying. Just don’t take him from me.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Mmm! That’s cool… that’s cool!

Marlett:

I just remembered that in that moment. It came back to me.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Thank you baby, I appreciate that! Nice job!

Marlett:

Thank you!

TR:

This is a celebration of adjustments, acceptance , love and life!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Instead of being in the cold basement researching. If 2003, 2004 there were a podcast called Reid My Mind Radio and you had a fly dude kicking’ the ballistics… laughs… No seriously, if there were a podcast for you to listen to would you have liked to hear from other people on a podcast?

Marlett:

Absolutely! I was, I was hungry…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
I think that was too, that’s too sexy Marlett. You can’t …

Marlett:

I didn’t try to be sexy…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I know but you can’t say hungry. there’s no way I can put that on the air like that. You got to explain it again.

Marlett:

I was looking for something, anything…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Mmm! There you go again. You see, you’re making it sexy. Stop . Just say it without being sexy.

Marlett:

I was looking for answers and there were none. There was no one there to… I felt like to guide me through this journey.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Long pause…

I’ma guide you through this journey! Laughs… fade out.

TR:
Hollaback…

We have the comments section on the blog, ReidMyMind.com.
The email; ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com
The Reid My Mind Radio Feedback Line where you can leave a voice mail: 1 570-798-7343

I would really love voice messages that I can share on the podcast. If you don’t want to call, you can grab your smart phone and record a voice memo and email the finished recording to ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com.

I’d love to hear and share the voices of those who are listening. If you want to send a message but don’t want it shared just say so and it’s all good.

Another way to show your love if you like what you hear…

Subscribe!
Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast Sound Cloud, Stitcher, Tune In Radio or wherever you get podcasts.
Visit www.ReidMyMind.com

So there’s no confusion,
… TR in unison with Marlett:
that’s R to the E I D like my last name!

Peace!

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