Adjusting to Vision Loss – A Creative Approach with Victoria Clare
Wednesday, February 19th, 2020
Living a creative life for Victoria Clare is more than a way to express herself. It serves as a way to help her own adjustment to vision loss
Hear her story from denial and rebellion to acceptance and putting her in a position to support others.
Victoria Clare is a Sculptor, Musician, Entrepreneur… and she’s working on becoming a Scratch DJ! For real though!
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TR:
What’s up Reid My Mind Radio Family? I missed you all for real!
Happy 2020 to you all!
A bit of a slow start, but you know, you can’t hold a brother back!
So much of what’s going on in the world today makes it more challenging to find that hope and optimism.
Audio: There’s no need to fear…”
Reid My Mind Radio is here!
Let’s get this poppin
Audio: Reid My Mind Theme Music
VC:
“Creativity is one of the most powerful, healing, it’s one of the most connective things that you could ever do to get to know who you really are.”
TR:
Getting to know who you really are is a big part of our early lives especially from our teenage years and on through college. For Victoria Clare, an artist specializing in sculpture, vision loss added to the process.
VC:
I just passed my driving test. I never had a lesson at night ever. Not any reason to that its was just my lessons were never booked for that time. When I passed my driving test I jumped in my car very elated wanted to go tell my boyfriend at the time that I passed my test.
Pulled out of my mom and Dad’s driveway and all of a sudden it became very very apparent to me that I really shouldn’t be driving. I just could not see enough to be driving.
TR:
On that ride to her boyfriend’s house, she clipped another vehicle and lost her driver’s side mirror. Fortunately, no one was hurt. It was enough to prompt her to see an Ophthalmologist
VC:
That’s when I found out I was going to go Blind.
TR:
The diagnosis was Retinitis Pigmentosa.
VC:
My particular Retinitis Pigmentosa is one of the recessive types so therefore we have no people in the family that have had it. So I’m literally the start of the chain if you will.
So finding that out as well kind of made me feel like wow what a responsibility. For me to get married and have children later in life would be a big choice for meat some point in my life which I was very aware of. However, I went back to college.
TR:
College in the UK refers to where many students go for two years after completing compulsory schooling at 16 in order to prepare for
exams to get into university. You can also take
vocational courses
at college.
While studying graphic design with plans to move on to University to continue in this field, Victoria just happened to come across a book about sculpture.
VC:
I knew when it was time for me to go to University that graphic design wasn’t for me. Sculpture was going to be my future
It was an amazing course. It only had 28 places in the whole of Europe. I was lucky enough to get one of those places.
I didn’t really consider that perhaps, hold on a second I may not be able to do this, I just carried on.
TR:
For some that may sound like optimism, positive thinking. But others who have been down this road would probably advise differently.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
Did you have contact with anyone else who was experiencing Vision Loss, anyone whose Blind?
VC:
No. No I had no contact with anyone like that.
TR:
Blind mentors can often help provide guidance, resources, and lend an understanding ear when dealing with all the additional loss that more than often accompanies the vision loss.
VC:
I had a lot of people kind of walk out of my life or just feel very awkward around me and didn’t know how to handle it.
My boyfriend I was with at the time, we got engaged, and he kind of was really struggling with the sight loss diagnosis and he actually saw it as too much for him so the relationship broke down.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
His loss! Hmm. We don’t like him.
VC:
Yeh!
TR:
Victoria soon learned that carrying on would require skills that she didn’t have. Living independently in a new town, navigating both in and outdoors.
VC:
I didn’t realize how simple everyday things would become so difficult for me. I had a hard time at Uny for a very short time, I mean literally I wasn’t there for very long before I decided that I can’t do this. It’s too hard. I left.
My lecturers said to me that I was welcome to come back at any time. Which was really really gracious of them considering it was such a prestigious course.
I had a conversation with my parents, they were incredibly supportive. They came and collected me.
TR:
Back at home Victoria says she isolated herself from the world.
VC:
And I started drinking. Initially it was about trying to numb the pain. I just felt like my whole world had shattered into a thousand pieces. I didn’t know how I was going to go forward. I didn’t see a future for myself .
And then something happened.
TR:
To put it simply, Victoria was introduced to possibility. It came in the form of a rehabilitation specialist.
A really lovely lady. She had a work cut out, to be really fair, with me. I was really super rebellious so I didn’t want help from anybody. You know, don’t treat me like a Blind person bla, bla, bla you know a typical kid.
TR:
Soon after meeting, the rehab specialist realized Victoria wasn’t going to use a white cane.
VC:
I just was not going to use one. I wanted to learn every trick in the trade so I could get away without using one.
She started to teach me other things like echo location, which is still really useful to me. trailing, just small things like that, that was getting me by.
TR:
Sometimes it’s the smallest suggestions that have the greatest results.
She was the one that suggested that maybe I should try some sculpture just for therapeutic reasons.
I went out in my Dad’s shed, I got a big old’ block of wood, stole some of his chisels, used his mallet and started creating. It was amazing. I turned my world around because it made me realize alright, I’ve been diagnosed with this sight loss but nobody’s taken away the skills that I’ve always had. They’re still there.
TR
Remember the skills that she began sharpening in University?
VC:
The background and the love was the figurative work so I created a kind of table top size maybe like two feet tall female figure. I called it “Her Spirit”. that was put into a local gallery and sold. I then kind of returned and created another figurative female figure which was also sold. My work has changed a lot over the years but most certainly it was more figurative work back then.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
Did it represent something in your life at that time or what was that all about?
VC:
I would say for me it was more to do with the fact that the course that I had to leave in Uny was a figurative sculpture course. So of course I was kind of making that connection of wanting to keep the figurative sculpture part of me going even though if I had to walk away from the University
[TR in conversation with VC:]
How much of an influence is blindness. The subject of blindness not necessarily your adaptations if there are some but how much does that play into sculpting specifically.
VC:
Now a huge part because I get inspired by it. For example only two years ago that I put on the first sculpture exhibition that was completely in a pitch black gallery. everybody had to use their other senses to discover what the pieces actually were.
TR:
This particular exhibition enabled Victoria to express herself in three different ways.
VC:
It was to share my personal acceptance of my journey with sight loss. It was to also kind of share sight loss with the general public so that they would have an experience and an understanding of what it feels like. And three it was a very strong message to visual arts because they really , really need to up their game when it comes to accessible art in galleries. Most certainly for visually impaired people . When you walk into a gallery how do we navigate and involve ourselves in our environment? By feeling. To be told that you can’t touch a piece of sculpture a piece of art you’re immediately excluded from enjoying it.
TR:
The exhibit, a first of its kind received national media coverage and all of the pieces were sold.
the result opened new opportunities for Victoria including serving as a retina UK Ambassador
VC:
Raising money to create research and pioneer research for Retinal Dystrophies. public speaking started to grow from there really. I get to speak at conferences and various events. I’m speaking at the World 2020 Vision, that’s in Dublin and also chairing a panel.
TR:
The latter is a chance to meet others impacted by vision loss.
VC:
There’s a connection there. It’s something very special.
TR:
A big part of her personal journey is creative expression. Something Victoria believes can be of help to others adjusting to their own vision loss.
VC:
I would recommend anything that will lift somebody’s mood that will connect them to who they are and make them feel that they are enough and give them self-confidence and self-worth. From sculpture to painting, from dance to music and anything in between. I would just say creativity is one of the most powerful, healing, it’s one of the most connective things that you could ever do to get to know who you really are.
TR:
Her own creative expression goes beyond sculpture.
There’s music which began around the same time as vision loss. Specifically, she began learning guitar from a friend.
VC:
Probably one of the things that helped me as I rewind going back to those dark days because I would sit when I was alone and if I was feeling down would just play my guitar. Just compose. I did find that a little comfort at the time.
TR:
About 13 years ago now, she discovered piano.
VC:
I used to be working in a school and this piano was sitting in the hall never being used and I’d be the only person working up a tinkle you know. Slowly but surely I started thinking you know what this is great, I love it and I ended up buying that piano off of the school and it’s sitting in my spare room now. (Laughs)
TR:
And you’re recording your music?
VC:
I Literally just come out of the studio.
Audio:
“Know you Matter”, Victoria Clare
TR:
Singing and performing in bands since she was 23 years old, “Know You Matter” is Victoria’s most recent production. It’s a message to all those that have self-doubt and serves as a personal affirmation to remind her that she matters. She hopes it will resonate with others.
Know You Matter is available on ITunes, Apple Music, Spotify and just about wherever you listen to music.
Next up creatively…
[TR in conversation with VC:]
And you’re rapping too?
Laughs!
VC:
Laughs! Working on it. I want to get into a bit of scratching, you know Tom. Laughs…
TR:
She’s serious! She’s a Hip Hop fan.
Dela 1
VC:
I like a lot of Hip Hop, Dance music, but then I like a lot of singer song writer stuff.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
Since you said Hip Hop, who did you like?
VC:
I absolutely love Dela Soul. Yeah they were definitely my favorite.
TR:
The more I think about her art, it makes sense. She takes an existing piece of wood and crafts that into a whole new thing. That’s Hip Hop.
This past Christmas Santa brought her a DJ controller or the modern day DJ turntables so who knows what she’ll create.
I know what you’re thinking, does this woman ever get bored? Well, she has the answer for boredom.
VC:
Board sports! (Laughs…)
[TR in conversation with VC:]
Yeh, I guess which is really another form of expression I would say.
VC:
When I was 23 a big life change happened for me because I decided to go backpacking with my best friends around the world. Probably the best thing I ever did. I was being faced with beautiful beaches and all the surf community and I was sitting there watching all these guys and girls just riding those waves and I just longed to do it but in my head the voice was saying you’ll never get to do that you’re going Blind you can’t do that.
TR:
If this were a movie, we’d queue up the dramatic music, the camera would pan out to the others easily riding the waves, maybe one falling off the board. The scene would move to Victoria slowly looking at a surf board next her and then back out toward the ocean. Seated on the san, she’d confidently straighten her back, stand, grab that board and sprint toward the water. Her friends would cheer her on as she paddled out to catch a wave…
But this ain’t no movie!
She privately held on to that desire like so many of us do.
VC:
It wasn’t until 2014 that I was actually doing my first solo exhibition. it was a really big14 piece collection exhibition. It was quite stressful at that time trying to do everything for it.
TR:
That’s when her husband had an idea.
VC:
Let me teach you how to surf . And that was it, I was hooked.
TR:
Once upon a time, she was adamant about not using the white cane. Today, Victoria puts that long white cane to good use.
VC:
Skateboarding!
TR:
that’s her way to expel that board energy when she can’t hit the waves.
And of course, where does Victoria go from here.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
You have a line of skateboards?
VC:
Yep, I’ve got the…
[TR in conversation with VC:]
Geez, you make me tired. (Laughs)
I got to up my life! I’m not doing enough.
(Laughs)
VC:
they’re called Blinded Soul and they’re bespoke solid deck skateboard.
When we started surfing we also taught my nephew to surf and then I took that one step further, I made him a surf board. I did the same for skateboards. I was just so amazed how smooth a ride they are. They’re built like in a retro style. They’re not built for tricks, but they’re definitely built for long distance really, cruising.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
The other day when I was reading your blog I was like man I think I want to do this. (Laughs…). Like, I want to try skateboarding Now it’s been years. I skateboarded as a kid.
Audio: from “It’s A thin Line between Love & Hate”
“Here I am laying in the hospital, bandaged from feet to head
TR:
Ok, all jokes aside, I’m going to give that a try.
My personal creativity and expression for a few years now has been less about sports and physical activity today compared to my past.
For anyone experiencing vision loss, finding a creative outlet is worth exploring. It’s hard because the reality is for most these endeavors just don’t help pay the rent.
But that’s not a reason to not pursue a passion or interest. there’s levels to this stuff. find your level and enjoy. The benefits are real.
Victoria’s pursuit of her own interest in music proved fruitful in ways she probably never expected.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
You mentioned your husband. Did your husband know about your vision loss initially?
VC:
Yes, yes. We met through a band that I was in. I was the singer he was the drummer. he had the same kind of silly sense of humor I guess that I’ve got. We’d just have good fun. He would drive me home after rehearsals and stuff. probably only took a couple of months for me to realize that a. how much I liked him and b, I had to tell him.
I sat in the car with him one night, we were just outside the flat where I was living at the time. And I had to take a very very deep breath and I told him. He just hugged me. And I said to him if this changes things you know it’s ok. And he was like no way. I just couldn’t imagine it changing anything between us.
He’s a very, very positive person. Very optimistic. He supports me in everything I do.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
And what’s this fine gentlemen’s name?
VC:
Ah, this fine gentlemen’s name is Adam.
TR:
you just never know where the pursuit of your interests may lead.
Victoria talks about all of her endeavors over at her blog Beyond Vision.
VC:
I want to reach as many people as I can. I want to support as many people as I can but along the way I want to share my vulnerability as much as my successes. I think it’s all very well to sit an talking about all the wonderful things that you get to do with your life but I think it’s more important to share also the vulnerable side of you too because it makes you more relatable. I really do get quite honest with my blogs. They really do tell a story within themselves. They’re raw, they’re authentic.
TR:
T
Encouraged to write her own story in the form of a book, first reluctant, Victoria eventually had an idea to help make the task more attainable.
VC:
What if I started thinking like the book is an extended blog?
So I got in touch with an editor, Molly Somerfield Smith, lovely lady she’s actually a ghost writer. When I first wrote to her I was kind of talking in a way that I wanted her to write it but she was the person that said to me you’ve got to write this yourself. This is your story this can’t come from me, this has got to come from you.
here I am a year later and she’s now got the version that I put together and she’s editing.
[TR in conversation with VC:]
First of all, I see that you’re doing audio blogs. So it’s not enough that you’re doing all the other stuff now you gotta come on into audio? Come on Victoria let some other people keep the audio… (laughs…)
VC:
You know what tom, it’s purely for selfish reasons.
TR:
For the record, I actually welcome and promote more of our voices in the space.
By now you probably can tell Victoria is all about productivity. She’s voice recording what she would have once written for the blog.
To check out her work and more…
VC:
I’ve got my professional website which is for the sculpture and that is www. VictoriaClareSculpture.com And then I got my advocacy website, VictoriaClare-BeyondVision.com. Where there’s all sorts of crazy stuff going on and it’s also got a lot of resources , support and that kind of stuff. And that’s where the blogs are as well.
TR:
Victoria’s working on moving her sculpture website to a more accessible platform.
You can also find her on Insta Gram at VictoriaClareSculpture. That’s Victoria Clare (spelled out)
Don’t forget to go on over to ITunes or wherever you get your music and get her latest single Know You Matter.
Audio: Break of Dawn, DeLa Soul
Shout out to Victoria Clare for sharing her journey. And shout out to Steph McCoy for making the connect!
I’m always hopeful that somehow this podcast finds those who are in the place where many of us once were.
That’s losing their sight, receiving a diagnosis they never expected, maybe fighting against the idea of using a white cane.
It’s easy to focus on what is being lost but as we heard today, the pursuit of those things that bring joy can really help you find what you’re seeking. It’s just right around the corner.
Audio: Lyrics… “Break of Dawn”
If you like what you heard today, subscribe wherever you get podcasts. Why not tell one or two people about what’s taking place here.
Let’s get this information into the ear holes of those who need it the most. In fact, you know we’re about that access here so it’s available for finger tips and eyes too in the form of transcripts available on ReidMyMind.com
That’s R to the E I D like my last name!
Audio: Reid My Mind Radio Outro
Peace!
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