Reid My Mind

TR:

Greetings Reid My Mind Radio Family. A very happy 2022 to you and yours. My name is Thomas Reid, I’m the host and producer of this podcast which brings you compelling people impacted by all degrees of blindness and disability.
As I mentioned in the final episode of 2021, the plan for 2022, is to return some time in the first quarter.
Well, I still have another month. The official start of the first season will be the second Tuesday of March. March 8th!

However, as I also said, I thought there was a chance that I’d add an episode or two to the feed that doesn’t necessarily fall into the seasonal theme. I’ll share more on the themes for this year later, but for now I want to focus on this month – February, Black History Month.

— Music begins, …African drums

Over the years, I recall discussions questioning whether we need Black History Month. The argument was that Black History should just be a part of the curriculum. I agree, it should be, but it’s pretty obvious today that some want to fight against that.

— Music ends.

— Montage of CRT news
A series of different voices:
“Critical Race Theory, critical race theory, critical race theory”

A woman:

“There are thousands of parents all over the US of all races, who have been speaking out against CRT and rightfully so. These are my babies, not yours. If you are embarrassed or ashamed of your skin color. That’s your issue, not mine nor my children.”

Man:

“We do not want our children to be taught that America is systemically racist.”

Reporter:

“Republican politicians have been hyping critical race theory as a threat to the impressionable minds of America’s children.”

Ted Cruz:

“Critical Race Theory says every white person is a racist, critical race theory says America’s fundamentally racist irredeemably racist,”

Reporter:

“critical race theory is an academic framework that says racial inequality is perpetuated by the racism embedded in America’s laws, not by individual bigotry.”

Teacher:

“critical race theory is not being taught in schools. It is a theory. It is a lens by which to view history and the way that law and race kind of overlaps and connects in society. Can it influence the way that some teachers teach? Yeah, but that’s a good thing, right? Because race, and racism is literally the building blocks of this country. So how can you not talk about it?”

— Music begins, African drums.
TR:

Now more than ever, Black History Month seems even more important, especially if we’re key on seeing Black in the future.

February has always been the time of year, unlike any other, where I’d have access to programming, most often on PBS, that focuses on the Black experience.

It’s the independent producers who bring stories about the lesser known activists, stories of insurrection that offer a different perspective. Stories that challenge what we get from the mainstream productions. Often, that’s the white washing of history, corporate coopting or propaganda to convince the country that we’re making racial progress.

We’re shown scenes from the Civil Rights movement where police are releasing dogs and using water hoses, so called riots and destruction of Black communities. That was back then we’re told. Black people are encouraged to keep our eyes on the prize, focus on our strength, determination, resilience, courage. There’s very little conversation about the generational trauma. Little discussion about the responsibility of white people to reconcile and own up to the crimes against humanity.

I’ve come to realize that I have to be aware of the content I consume. There’s way too many things that leave me wondering; when will there be a story where we win? A story where we can just live our lives without worrying about discrimination, racism, murder.

A true optimist will say, our existence today, our survival, the fact that our creativity and art and more leads the world is an example of a win. sometimes I just need more.

Today, I’ll bring you that. It’s a Black history mash up where I borrow from two real world figures from the past. Merging a bit of fact with fiction in order to give you an example of that kind of win I’m talking about. It’s probably way more simple than some think.
Y’all with me? Let’s go fam!
— Music ends.
— Audio: Reid My Mind Theme Music

— Sounds of nature outdoors…, tilling the land
-Music begins, – old blues singer and guitar …
“”Yes I rolled and I rolled and I cried all night long
“Yes I rolled and I rolled and I cried all night long”

TR:
Meet Uncle Zeke
He was born in South Carolina, but grew up in Goldsboro, North Carolina. His father was a sharecropper. I hate that name. It implies there was some form of cooperation happening when there really wasn’t. The way it worked, the landowner or the former enslavers, offered a part of their land to be farmed by the share cropper. The land owner would provide other things as well including housing, tools, seed, or working animals. Things like food and other supplies were exchanged on credit.

— Music fades out

\The share cropper would pay the owner a share of the crop at the end of the season, typically one-half to two-thirds. If there was any cash left over, the cropper kept it—but if his share came to less than what he owed, he remained in debt. Knowing the share cropper could do little to refute any disagreements, the practice kept share croppers bound to the land owners. Slavery without the chains.

Diabolical!

There wasn’t much in the way of educational opportunities for Uncle Zeke. School for him stopped at 11 and he began working the fields full time.

In 1942, at 23 years old, Uncle Zeke saw a chance to improve his future. He \enlisted in the Army.

— Sounds ofmultiple bomber planes . while a newscaster speaks:
Men like these are not to be stopped. No individual no evasive words or deeds. No group action or selfish interests will be allowed to impede their growing strength, effectiveness and safety. While it is they are sacrificing every advantage of civilian life, they who hold the torch of freedom causes.

TR:

Serving as a longshoreman, Uncle Zeke earned a battle star for unloading ships under enemy fire in New Guinea. He was promoted to sergeant.

After being honorably discharged from the service in 1946
Uncle Zeke headed back home to North Carolina.
While traveling via Greyhound, at a rest stop just outside Augusta, Zeke asked the bus driver if there was time for him to use a restroom.
The driver cursed at him and the two got into an argument.
“Boy, get back in your seat”

Not that it should make a difference, but Uncle Zeke was traveling in his United States Army uniform. He spent 4 years fighting to protect democracy around the world. At least, that’s the propaganda often repeated.

“Talk to me like I am talking to you,” Uncle Zeke insisted. “I am a man just like you.”

The encounter ended without any incident.

However, unknown to Uncle Zeke, at the next stop, in the small South Carolina town of Batesburg, the driver called on the local police. The driver claimed Uncle Zeke was being disorderly.

Uncle Zeke was ordered off the bus by the town’s sheriff.

— Bus door opens and sounds of a outdoors in a small unactive town.

TR:

The sheriff and his men began surrounding Zeke who glimpsed a familiar face in his peripheral. He then heard a voice that immediately gave him a sense of comfort.

“You boys are going to want to leave that man, that soldier alone.”

Uncle Zeke didn’t take his eyes off the sheriff. He watched as the cops and the sheriff turned their attention to that booming voice. It was his friend and fellow veteran, Big Rob.

— Music begins with a base drop. An onimous base heavy Hip Hop beat.

Discharged just a few months earlier, Robert Williams, a childhood friend of Zeke, wanted to assure his old friend made it home safely.

His own encounter lead him to understand that what he and many other Black soldiers thought their lives would be like upon returning home as decorated veterans , was wishful thinking.

Arriving back home in North Carolina after a long bus ride, Big Rob, stopped into a convenient store to get something to drink. As he enters the store, his greeting felt familiar.

What you want boy?

Boy, he thought I don’t think he’s talking to me. Quickly looking around the store noticing the two were alone, Rob just went about his business of gathering the few things he wanted to purchase. He walked up to the counter, nodded at the white clerk and paid. He even told the clerk to keep the change. I’m just happy to be back home he said.

As he exited the store, the clerk timidly told Rob to remember he’s back home now.

Rob was fully aware that the only reason there wasn’t an incident, is the clerk was by himself. If there’d been another white person in that store with him, things would have been different.

Soon after, Rob quickly learned of thousands of Black veterans who were beaten and or lynched. Something so many thought wouldn’t happen to them after serving in the country’s military.

When he heard his old friend Zeke was coming home, he wanted to surprise him. At least that’s what he told Zeke. Truth is he always worried about his friend. Zeke was never the type to not say what was on his mind. He knew Zeke could handle himself in a fair fight, but Black men don’t get fair fights with white men in Jim Crow’s south.

“You heard me Sheriff, let that man be and we’ll be out of your town”

“We?” The Sherriff chuckled. This boy is staying here and if you do leave here, I don’t see anyone else with you.

— Someone whistling!

It came from behind him. A car with 4 black soldiers each holding shot guns pointed in the sheriffs direction. This was followed by more whistles all in different locations. The sheriff immediately realized Rob wasn’t alone. The police were surrounded by 20 plus armed Black men, all veterans in uniform.

Ever since his experience and learning about what was happening to his returning brothers, Big Rob decided to put together his own welcoming committee. Zeke never got word that Rob was going to meet him in Georgia and they missed each other by only a few minutes. Rob decided to follow the bus and realized there was a problem when he saw the driver exit and saw the police arrive on the scene.

The team, known as the Black Armed Guard, always alert and trained for this sort of thing, went into formation.

We don’t want no problems Sherriff. We just want to take our brother there and make sure he makes it home to his family. I’m sure you know what that feels like. Wanting to make it home safely?”

The Sherriff slowly looks around. That’s when he notices the driver of the car about 20 feet to the side of Big Rob. Mable, Big Rob’s wife was expertly pointing her rifle at the Sheriff.

He knows he’s out numbered. And these soldiers won’t hesitate to use their weapons. Defeat plastered all over his face, the Sheriff looks at Uncle Zeke and motions for him to go.

Zeke calmly walks over to Rob who nods toward another long gun at his side. Zeke picks it up and the two slowly back up and get into the car. All the while, Mable keeps her gun pointed at the Sheriff. It’s only when the two are safely in the car with their guns pointed at the sheriff that Mable starts the engine after checking her hair in the rear view mirror.

— Music ends and car starts.

Now please don’t attempt to follow us, we’re headed out of your town. I travel with more than you see in front of you so don’t try anything. We just want everyone to make it home safely tonight. And I do mean everyone.

With that said, Mable, Big Rob, Uncle Zeke and the rest of the brothers caravan out of town without incident.

— 1940’s car driving out of town.

That’s a win.

While some of the details in this story are true, unfortunately it never actually went this way.

More on what really happened, after this!

— Old jazzy sounding commercial with woman singing… “Who listens to radio?”
Music begins, a bouncy upbeat Hip Hop track.

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
Are you socially Reidsponsible?
y– Sample from Blades of Glory:
“I don’t even know what that means.
No one knows what it means. But it’s provocative.”

TR:
A great way to stay informed and help spread the word about Reid My Mind Radio; social media! Reid My Mind Radio is on Facebook and Instagram at Reid My Mind Radio. We’re in the midst of a social media giveaway. It began in January on Facebook. All you had to do was to like the post announcing the giveaway, and you’d be automatically entered. Some of you didn’t fully follow the directions and like the page, instead of just liking the post, but that’s cool. I appreciate you liking the page. We decided to include everyone who liked the page plus those who liked the post in this giveaway. And now we’re gonna announce the winner for January’s Facebook giveaway. To help me out I’m going to ask Marlett to come in and help.

(Thomas yells out) Marlett, Marlett! can you come and help? Let’s do the giveaway.
Marlett off in the distance: “Huh!”

TR:
I told her we were going to do the giveaway.

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
Hello. Can you help me with the giveaway?

Marlett:
Yes.

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
Alright, so ladies and gentlemen, we’re here with Marlett. Marlett say hi to the people.

Marlett:
Hello.

(Audio coming from Marlatt’s phone)

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
What is that?

Marlett:

Sorry!… Giggles…

TR in Conversation with Marlett:

The person responsible for our social media is Annie. She’s a friend of the family who decided she wanted to help Reid My Mind Radio get a little bit more exposure. I appreciate that Annie.
But any can be here today. She’s little under the weather. It’s raining right now but Annie, the sun will come out tomorrow. (Cracks up at his own joke) Sorry, she probably heard that all her life. I hope it wasn’t a hard knock life. (Laughs again)

Okay, the winner of this year’s Facebook giveaway, will get…

Marlett:

You’re gonna get a Reid My Mind Radio mug.

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
So here we go. You ready to shake it up? And the winner is?

Marlett:

Justin Romac.

TR in Conversation with Marlett:

Hey! Okay, cool. Justin Romac.
We will be getting in contact with you to get your address and send you your very own Reid My Mind Radio, mug, coffee mug.
But you could put whatever you want in that; coffee, tea. adult beverages water pens, you know people put pens in mugs, put it someplace where people could see it. If you have an office, put it in your office. If you, if you’re either… Do you have something?

Marlett:
No!

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
Thank you for supporting Reid My Mind Radio.

Marlett:
Thank you.

TR in Conversation with Marlett:

So the next giveaway will be on what social media platform?

Marlett:
Instagram. And so all people would have to do is to follow, like, share and comment on it.

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
Alright, yeah, you got some work to do.

Marlett:
All they have to do is say hello. Hi!

TR in Conversation with Marlett:
Yeah, that’s true. That could be a comment. So what we want you to do is do what she just said. And you have until February 28. And then again, we’ll reveal the winner in March and then in March The giveaway will be on Twitter. Thank you Marlett. Bye!
I’ll probably edit all of that out.
Marlett leaves giggling… fades out.

You can find Reid My Mind Radio wherever you get your podcast. That’s the perfect place to follow or subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.
Tell your friends to do the same. Let them also know that we have transcripts and more over at ReidMyMind.com.
Just make sure you tell them that’s R, to the E I D…

— Sample: (“D! And that’s me in the place to be. Slick Rick)

TR:
Like my last name.

Now back to the episode
—

TR:

Uncle Zeke, not my uncle, is Isaac Woodard. He and Big Rob, Robert Williams, while they both grew up in North Carolina, to my knowledge didn’t know one another.

Robert F. Williams was drafted into the Marines in 1944 and served a year and a half. When he returned home he joined the local chapter of the NAACP and soon became president.
His chapter worked to integrate the public library. After that success, in 1957 Williams also led efforts to integrate the public swimming pools.

The NAACP members organized peaceful demonstrations, but those in opposition fired guns at them.

In a town of about 12, 000 people it was estimated that 7500 belonged to the Klan.

That’s the Ku Klux Klan, not the Wu-Tang!

Williams started a local rifle club which was a chapter of the NRA he called the Black Armed Guard. It consisted of at least 60 former soldiers along with several women including his wife Mable.

Williams and the Black Armed Guard defended the home of a local Black doctor who was targeted by the Klan. Effectively chasing the Klan away and forcing a city ordinance banning the Klan from the town.

As he writes in his book, Negroes with Guns about the racists who inflict violence on Black people.
>They are most vicious and violent when they can practice violence with impunity.”
“It has always been an accepted right of Americans, as the history of our Western states proves, that where the law is unable, or unwilling, to enforce order, the citizens can, and must act in self-defense against lawless violence.”

— Music begins, a melancholy piano and ambience track.

Isaac Woodard was greeted at that stop in Batesburg (now Batesburg-Leesville, South Carolina.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Big Rob or any other person who would see Isaac as a brother or even as another human being.

It was Sherriff Lynwood Shull. He was there to arrest Woodard,
beat him with a blackjack and gouge his eyes with it. Mr. Woodard, making his way home from serving this country laid in the Batesburg jail overnight, without medical treatment. Totally Blind, he was taken again, still in uniform, to the city court, where he was fined for drunk and disorderly conduct.

When he did eventually get to a VA hospital in Columbia, South Carolina, doctors determined there was nothing to be done to restore his vision.

It’s said his story which actor and filmmaker Orson Welles shared on his ABC radio show Orson Welles Commentaries, helped move the Justice Department to call for action.

When it comes to violence perpetrated against Black people, let the record show that the systematic response reveals that’s just not for everyone.

It only took the jury 30 minutes of deliberation to find the Sherriff not guilty on all charges. Meanwhile, he admitted that he had blinded Uncle Zeke or rather Mr. Woodard.
It’s said, upon hearing the verdict, the courtroom broke into applause.

That’s a room full of people who could never see Isaac Woodard as a man, a veteran who served his country to protect their freedom. I guess they’d never see him as their uncle. Not even a human being?

I could have met Mr. Woodard. We lived in the same town.

After the trial, he traveled with his two sisters to re-unite with his family who moved north as part of that great migration of Black southerners seeking opportunity in the north.
They moved to New York City, specifically the Bronx.

Isaac Woodard died at 73 years old in the VA Administration hospital in the Bronx on September 23, 1992.
My Dad was in and out of the VA hospital in the Bronx for years beginning in 1989 and during his time with Parkinson’s.

Isaac Woodard was buried with military honors at the Calverton National Cemetery in Calverton, New York.

Buried with honor?

In this country, Black leaders, those who confront injustice and fight for freedom are hated while they’re alive and among us. After they’re death, they’re celebrated, honored and often quoted by those who hated them.

This past MLK Day, we watched as the same politicians who actively work to eliminate voter rights and support the home grown terrorist who tried to take the capital, simultaneously honor Dr. King.

— Martin Luther King Jr.
“Unknown Speaker 00:00
It didn’t costs a nation, one penny to guarantee the right to vote. And a lot of people really supported us in Alabama and Mississippi and all across the south. Because they were really against something not because they were for genuine equality for the black man. They looked at Bo Khan and saw how he was beating us and how brutal he was. And they were really outraged. They looked at Jim Clark and Selma, and they were outraged about it. And so they took a stand for decency. But it was never really a stand for genuine equality for the black man. TS Elliot has said on one occasion that there is no greater Harrison than to do the right thing for the wrong reason. A lot of people were doing the right thing, but they were doing it for the wrong reasons. And now when we demand that people do the right thing, for the right reason, they began making excuses and giving all kinds of rationalizations. Now the time has come for genuine equality to come to all beings born of God.”

TR:

Y’all should really keep his name out your mouth and be true to who you are.

Diabolical!

I’m sure half way through this episode, some who may listen to this will wonder; what in the world does this have to do with blindness or disability? Then they’ll find out Uncle Zeke too was Blind. He too was disabled.

Isaac Woodard could have been a member of the ACB or NFB. Another member of the local chapter of the XYZ organization. perhaps someone who joined a monthly support group meeting?

Would they have known who he was or what was done to him? Would they have spoken to him? Is his experience a blindness related issue that warrants their organization’s attention?

Black history month is an opportunity to reconcile with the past. A time to begin the process of figuring out how to do better. A time to celebrate the rich history of Black people that didn’t start with slavery. It started way before that. Before any other people’s history. That’s not in any way a flex or some statement of superiority. It’s a fact.

My Black history mash up isn’t as much of a re-write of history, but rather a draft of the future. It doesn’t have to end with physical violence. Everyone makes it home safely to just live their lives. That shouldn’t be much to ask for, should it?

— Music begins, a bright uplifting Hip Hop track.creschendo

Here’s another win for the Reid My Mind Radio family…

Three seasons of Reid My Mind Radio planned for 2022. I’ve lined up some awesome guests and I’m talking to some more for later in the year.
We’re starting with what I always believe is the core of this podcast; the stories of compelling people impacted by blindness and disability.

Season 1 this year is called Doing Your Thing with Disability.

Yeh, that’s heavy emphasis on the with!
When I wake up, I’m Blind.
When I’m working on this podcast, I’m Blind…
When folks enjoy and appreciate the result of that work I’m still Blind.
Everything I do, I do it Blind! Or, with my disability.
I’m not overcoming it, I’m not getting around or over it… It’s here with me all day and night.

This first season, you’ll get some dope examples of people just doing their thing… with disability!

Season 2, We’re going to re-up on the flip! We’re lining up some the episodes to expand on these conversations about AD. You know what it is;
Flipping the Script on Audio Description, because it’s about more than entertainment.

Season 3 we got YGBD
That’s Young Gifted Black & Disabled.
And yes, there’s some fire here headed your way to close out the year.

Between seasons, I want to either try some ideas out or share some opinions. That’s why I hope you follow and subscribe to the podcast, it’s the best way to make sure you don’t miss out.

I’m excited for 2022 and that’s one thing that I hope is infectious. If so, can you help me spread it! There’s a lot of people who I think can benefit from what we have. I believe it! I’ve been told this from many of y’all. It’s the power of people. It’s more about their stories than anything else.

— Music ends.

I just make blindness and disability sound funky!

Audio: Reid My Mind Outro

Peace!

Hide the transcript

— Music begins, a cymbal crash launches a calm ambient melody which leads to a smooth Hip Hop beat.

Siri:

Ready to send it?

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:
Yes.

Siri:

Ok, sent!

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

Aaight, cool!

You don’t know about Black Siri?

D’arcee:

… No!

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

Aaight, hold on, let me have Siri say something.

Hey Siri, what time is it?

Siri:

2:09 PM.

D’arcee:

Stop! (Extended so Pronounced, Stoooooop!)

(Thomas, D’arcee and AJ all laugh…)

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

That’s the blackest it’s gonna get, but that’s Black Siri.

D’arcee:

Oh…. I’m dead….

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

If you go into the Siri settings, it’s Voice 3.

D’arcee:

I’m about to change that shit right now! Woo hoo!
TR:
! that really is a thing y’all!
Apple added some additional voices for Siri.
And voice 3 is a Black Man.
That reaction you heard is common.
At least in my experience specifically among those who are Black.
The laughter, was excitement.
Maybe you’re thinking, why would a Black Siri voice matter?
Well, Black voices matter!
Secondly, , please go back to an earlier episode in this series featuring Lateef McCleod for a much more detailed explanation.

Simply put, voices matter, representation matters.
If it doesn’t to you perhaps you’ve always been represented.

If this is your first time here and you’re not familiar with my voice, I’m Thomas Reid, producer and host of this podcast.

You’re just in time for the final episode in the YGBD series or
Young Gifted Black & Disabled.
This all began with an episode I co-produced last year with
Mr. Ajani Jerod AKA AJ! ;
— Sample AJ from “AJ Scratch” Kurtis Blow

A Reid My Mind Radio family member and alumni.

And it seemed right to team up again to close the series.

Since that last production in 2020, AJ caught me up on some of his personal and career highlights in 2021.

Among several positive highlights in his acting career, AJ has a role in a film released this year, Best Summer ever, which garnered a fair amount of attention.

He’s working in a new position that gives him a chance to really flex his creative muscles and advance opportunities for people with disabilities.
And join me in congratulating AJ as a new homeowner!

TR:

Having a job or even better, a career,
providing shelter and safety for one’s family;
in the minds of men, these are a few things impacting how we define masculinity.

Before we get into it, I need to let you know,
we talk about some things that may not be appropriate for young listeners and possibly triggering for others including sexual content and trauma.
The conversation covers a range of emotions. Yeh, real men have those!

— Reid My Mind Radio Theme Music

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee: 04:07
So let’s jump into it then, man. So you good AJ?

AJ:

Yeah, I’m good.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee: 04:07

We’ve all been here before. So we just gonna kind of keep it pushing. So brief intro. name, image description, D’arcee, do you wanna kick it off?

D’arcee:

Sure. So, my name is DRC Cherington Neil, I am a dark skin black man with purple dreads and a shaved head in various shades of purple. And I am currently sitting at my desk in my apartment, and I’m wearing a gray t shirt that says love is equal.

TR in conversation with AJ and D’arcee:

Professor Purple!

TR:
He’s an ABD Doctoral student, meaning all but dissertation or he’s almost done!

We could have went with a royal theme for this episode as AJ wore a purple shirt.

I figured it made sense to go with Black. Nahmean!

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

so DRC, how do you sort of qualify masculinity?

D’arcee:
There you go starting with the life altering. I mean, if you had asked me that, like 10 years ago, I think my answer would be wildly different. Because I think, people, the answer to that question is literally dependent upon their own experiences. And I think so much of that experience is tied to age.

If you ask a 16 year old what’s masculinity, they gonna get you this bullshit answer about cars and sports and girls.

all sports ball is the same to me. I will say I don’t care about no cars, but my electric BMW begs to differ..

I honestly believe that being a queer person informs this more than being a straight person, y’all can tell me I’m wrong. But as a man who loves other men, it radically redefines your understanding of what it is to be masculine.

TR:

Woh! I can just imagine the reaction of some people to that statement. But I think if you’re going to explore the definition of masculinity then you have to be open minded and hear people out. No matter where it comes from.

D’arcee:
it’s like that whole phrase, we say, in the community, masc for masc, it’s the word masculine, M A S C.

It’s a toxic ass phrase, that basically means traditional masculinity need only apply.

People, expertly weaponize this phrase of masculinity, to mean “traditional” six pack, square jaw, scruff, kind of masculinity.
What you’re talking about is the flavor of masculinity. All forms of masculinity are value. And that includes trans masculinity too!
Folks want to try to come for me on my DMs I said what I said.

TR:
D’arcee can handle himself. But this is my house and I feel accountable and protective of my family. So be advised, you come for him you coming for me.

Too much? I’m trying to be a better man, my daughters help point out my toxic masculinity.

I hope that didn’t come across violent, but if you have issues that’s your problem. No need to share them.

AJ:

I guess when I think about masculinity, I think of strength in terms of not only physically or spiritually, being able to hold it down and always be accountable and always there to always ever serve.

If I can get into some stereotypes, when I think of masculinity, of course, I think of ego, being braggadocious. Being athletic, not having a job.

TR:

Well, AJ raised the issue of stereotypes, let’s just put them on the table.

AJ:

The negative stereotypes of black man is lazy. Good for nothing.
You get into the historical stereotypes like studs, Black man is in jail, or black men aren’t gonna take care of the kids.

D’arcee:

I think that people associate Black men with rage, gangs and violence.

A lot of people think of black men as being ultra conservative.
I don’t mean politically. Behaviorally, very inflexible. This is where black homophobia comes from.

A lot of it comes from black men. And the stereotype of inflexibility which, in turn gets translated into strength. In this weird, warped way.

There are some positive ones too. People think of black men as being stylish. They think of them as being very well dressed. But that comes with the side effect of they think of Black men as flashy.

AJ:

When you say that I think of that episode of Living Single, when Kyle, I think he was a mutual funds manager. This other brother really had issues with the twist of his hair. I thought that was a very good episode, because it shows the internal struggle
[between us and other black people.
]
Because it wasn’t the white bosses, it was the other brother on the team that told him to cut his hair.

D’arcee: 55:57

I’ve been in that situation. And it was extremely uncomfortable.

When I worked at the University of Maryland, I worked the front desk in the English department and the chair, this white woman she walked in. There were two black faculty standing in the doorway when she walked in.

It was the last day of school and I had just cut my hair.

I’ve had dreads for most of my adult life in various ways. And they had never really seen me without dreds , because that’s a years long process.
Oh, she said, you got your haircut? And I said, Yep, I did. And then she said, you look like a grown up now.

The black faculty in the door, were like, Oh, it’s a third rounder, she was like, what? Oh, come on, like, you guys know what I mean?

AJ: 57:07
Back in the day. I had longer hair. So I had braids, because I was trying to get my swag on and that way.

This one lady, she was a black woman. And she wasn’t necessarily talking to me, but I had heard the conversation and she was saying that her son also want to braid his hair. But she was like, I’m not gonna let him do that. She was talking about the gang Association and how, having hair like that was bad. And I don’t know if she didn’t notice, but I was like, I’m right in here. And I felt so sad. Because just because I have long hair, and I had these braids, but I’m a student. I’m respectful to you. I’m on the honor roll and I have braids, but you associated braids or longer hair with thuggery.

D’arcee: 58:24
You can’t be surprised you know, you invisible

TR:

That’s the thing, Black can make you invisible in many ways.

For example, shows like Friends or Seinfeld. They took place in New York City and there’s no interaction with Black people?

The way white store workers ignore Black people. I’m telling you, we even here, oh I didn’t see you.

If they do land eyes on you, sometimes it’s the stereotypes that are seen. So you’re followed in that store because they see a criminal.

Add disability and that introduces a new layer of stereotypes and invisibility that occurs within our own community as well.

AJ:
When I think of masculinity from societal speaking, maybe some stereotypes, I think, definitely non vulnerability, he can’t be vulnerable at all. You definitely can’t cry at all.

How many songs I heard…

— Audio quick mix of;
“- I Heard it through the grapevine”, Marvin Gaye;
“I know a man ain’t supposed to cry…”

“Tears of a Clown”, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles;
“Now if there’s a smile on my face, it’s only there trying to fool the public…”

“Ain’t to Proud to Beg”, Temptations;
“Now I heard a crying man, is half a man, with no sense of pride, If I have to cry…”

AJ:

I missed that meeting, because the brother cries all the time.

No sensitivity, you keep very serious things to yourself. He can’t show any weakness at all.

You kind of have to know everything and be the jack of all trades.

D’arcee:
Yeah, because Dude, don’t ask for help.

AJ:

If you have children, the males are definitely the disciplinarians.

D’arcee:
Is that true and black households? Because I would definitely not agree.

AJ:

Yeah, yeah. It was my mom, because my mother was the primary razor.

I just mean how many of y’all have heard? wait until your daddy gets home?

D’arcee:

I think that what you’re talking about is physical discipline because like my mother was not the person, my daddy did that

TR:

My mother occasionally used that line on me, but she was the physical disciplinarian while my Dad never raised a finger.

The threat meant I’d have to sit through a 45 minute lecture from my Dad. My sister and I would often debate whether we’d just prefer a beating.
And just in case you’re curious, when it comes to discipline, I ended up just like my Dad! And my girls not only appreciate it but I think they turned out great! Hash tag stop corporal punishment.

TR:

So far, we’ve been talking stereotypes about Black men.
But what does that look like in the real world when we add disability?

D’arcee:

This is exactly what my research is. I study like black culture, but what happens when you add disability to it?

When you talk about blackness disability together the association is so terrible. And it’s, it’s this right here. It’s the core of this right here, because people already associate negative things with blackness. And when you add disability on top of it, that just amplifies the feeling.

AJ:
I remember one time me and a partner who’s also disabled. We’re sitting outside because we got dropped off for the bus. So we were just hanging out, and it was on the sidewalk. This older lady is riding in her car. And she just gets out of her car and gives us hot wings. Hot wings and a Pepsi.

D’arcee:
AJ I completely understand what you’re talking about.
All of the work that I’m doing now it’s an amalgamation of all the experiences that I’ve had that are like this, because it just kept happening.
And I literally was like, why does this keep happening to me?

Obama was coming to our building. And I got really dressed up because they told us we had to. I was in the three piece suit.
[Says emphatically, while clapping his hand to stress the point.)

TR:

You know one of those days when you just sort of feel like, why did I even leave my house? For D’arcee, it began with the access bus driver’s back handed compliment, “You’re looking too sharp to be in that wheel chair. Really?

D’arcee:

I left work that day, went home, and went to the 7 Eleven. I wanted a gallon of milk and some honey nut cheerios, because that is the best cereal on planet Earth.

TR:

If you’re interested in sponsorship here on the podcast, please contact ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com.

D’arcee:

And grabbed a thing of White Castle burgers because they was calling my name.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:
We gonna have to work on your diet, bro.

D’arcee:
this woman in front of me, she paid for her stuff. But she didn’t leave the store.

And she kept eyeballing me. And I was looking at her and she was looking at me and I was looking at her and she was looking at me.

I was like, right, so she didn’t want to get out the way.

I was trying to swipe my card and she moved my card out the way and just literally handed me a fistful of cash.

I didn’t know what to do. I’m in a three piece suit. Wearing my Fedora. My Houndstooth jacket, looking very DC policy.

I was like, Oh, thank you very much. But I’m good.

Then the door opens and this random man comes in. He’s like, Yo, did you pay for the man’s groceries?

So they had concocted this plan while I was going around the 7 Eleven picking up food. And I had been oblivious to all of it.

I swiped my card, got my groceries and left and didn’t say anything to her. And so she literally, she followed me outside. And then she was like, why don’t you take my money?

TR:

Charity, it’s often not for the so called recipient.
Once, someone accuse me of “blocking their blessing” because I refused their help.

I guess the real issue is often, how we’re perceived is ultimately out of our control.

D’arcee:

that was the reason I was talking about my suit. Because people literally don’t know how to conflate these two things together and everything to do with being a man.

AJ:

My mom actually knew an able bodied man, I think he was a comedian.
He got himself a wheelchair, and he would just sit downtown in the chair. His side hustle was he pretended to be disabled to earn cash. Chair

TR:
Ah yes, I’m reminded of the ol’ you’re faking your disability trope.

Another way we’re perceived by the public.

— Music begins, a thumping upbeat dance track.

D’arcee:

I will never forget. Oh, God, I was at a club.
I was there with my friend because she wanted to go.

I’m not big on clubs, but she dragged me there. It’s a dance club. fuck am I gonna do?

The club feels like it’s one of the worst places in the world. It’s a microcosm of every ableist fantasy on display at all times. If you not a ten, you’re not supposed to be in there. But like, people will bring you in there anyway, because they need entertainment.

TR:

Left alone while his friend goes off to dance with some guy,
D’arcee is approached by a woman.

D’arcee:

She was like, hey, and I was like, Yo, what’s up? And then she was like, she was like, Come on, let’s go to the dance floor.

TR:

D’arcee offers his hand, which she takes and pulls him in his wheelchair to the dance floor.

As they’re passing the bar, the bartender calls out to D’arcee.

Bartender:

Yo! Somebody paid for you to have this drink.

D’arcee:

Oh, wow, thanks. And I took the drink and got ready to drink it. And the girl was like, no. And she slapped a cup out my hand, knock the whole drink on the floor. And I was like, what.

She was like, I saw dudes put X in that. They just wanted to see how you would react.

That was issue number one, that people already knew that I was out of place in this location.

TR:

When they finally reach the dance floor, the woman is grabbing’ on D’arcee. Then she leans over and whispers in his ear.

D’arcee:

I want to make my boyfriend jealous.

Oh, wait, what? Wait.

her boyfriend was on the steps like mean muggin’ as fuck. And I was like nah, nah, nah, I’m not feeling this. And so I left her.

AAJ:
One time I was at this club and I wasn’t exactly in the exit but I was in that direction. So this lady it was a beautiful lady but this lady she’s headed out the club but she looks at me and stops before she leaves So she turns around, bends over and shakes it for me. I’m like, okay, which I’m not gonna lie. You know, I don’t know if this is wrong, but I appreciate it.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

Ain’t nothing wrong with appreciating that.

D’arcee:

I mean, but also why though?

AJ:
I think she assumed, this is something he doesn’t get,.

I was at this other club. It was this man and his girlfriend or his wife and we were dancing.

He turns her around. and he’s slapping her butt, for me.

TR & D’arcee together in a questioning voice….
“Thank you?”

— Slow Transition moving to a more serious vibe

D’arcee:
you can bleep all of this out to remove it all. I don’t want to be rude. But I also want to be real on this because people deserve it.

In the queer community, people associate masculinity in sexuality, and it causes real problems for me, because I have been in a number of situations where I’ll be hooking up with a dude. And then he will assume, because it’s like, you know, I’m a man, and you’re a man that we came here to fuck. So like, that’s what we’re doing
. So the thing is you don’t even ask my permission.

I’m still trying to decide if I want to call it assault, because I don’t know where it falls on the gradient.

We haven’t had any kind of discussions about what we were gonna do. I had at least five dudes do this to me.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee: 1:34:58

Wow!

D’arcee:

If you decided to keep all that I know people gonna be listening, they’re gonna be like, wait like, is he talking about rape?

I’m talking about consent, consensual, you know, hookup, or, you know, relationships we met to get it in and half the time.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:
I feel like sisters would be like, bro, we this is what we experience. And so is that I don’t want to do like a disservice. You understand? I’m saying, and I’m not trying to tell you what your experiences at all. But man if we flipped it…

— Reverse slow Transition.

— Music Begins, a bouncy up-tempo, high energy Hip Hop beat!

“Forgive me Sir, but there’s something I’d like to ask you.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I don’t know how to say this so I’d better say it in the shortest way.”

TR:

Hey did you know; Reid My Mind Radio, is on Facebook and Insta Gram. We’re going to do some things on these platforms so stay tuned. You can find us on both FB and IG @ReidMyMindRadio.

On Twitter I’m at tsreid

Don’t forget you can also ask your smart device to play Reid My MindRadio by T.Reid on your preferred podcast provider.

Make sure you say that full statement including, T.Reid.

If you’re looking for a way to give yourself a present while supporting what I’m hoping is your favorite podcast… one of your favorites? A podcast you’re kinda diggin’?

— Sample: “Can you dig it!” “Warriors”

Anyway, go on over to ReidMyMind.com and hit that link that says Shop.

Purchase a shirt, hoodie or any item to show your rockin’ with Reid My Mind Radio! Or maybe you want to show your support for Flipping the Script on Audio Description. or of course, Young Gifted Black & Disabled.

All support is truly appreciated.

You can find Reid My Mind Radio wherever you get your podcasts. That’s the perfect place to follow or subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.

Tell a friend to do the same. Let them also know that we have transcripts and more at ReidMyMind.com. Just make sure you tell them; That’s R to the E I D

“D” and that’s me in the place to be. Slick Rick) Like my last name.

Now back to the episode. ———-

AJ
I’m not trying to say because of my disability and your disability is different. But sometimes, I wonder, do you think, the things that you explore and are open about, do you think you would have those same opportunities, if your disability was more significant?

I’m a person that wants to be very sexual. I wonder, like, if I were a little more mobile, like you are, like a transformer, what I have an easier time getting down?
Do you think people perceive you as sexier versus more of a person with a more significant disability?

D’arcee:
Sure. I will say, first of all, that I recognize this is a question of privilege. And I most certainly do have that privilege.

The fact that you and I both have cerebral palsy, we both know that it manifests so differently in every person’s body.

TR:

We could replace CP in this part of the conversation with vision loss, hearing loss or just Go ahead and insert your favorite disability.

There are restrictions and privileges that come with any degree of disability
no matter where you fall on the spectrum.

But that’s not necessarily how it’s always viewed.

D’arcee:

They say wheelchair users sit on the top of the hierarchy of pretty. And by wheelchair users, they really mean like paraplegics and you know, people who look otherwise quote, unquote, normal, but in a wheelchair,. For all intents and purposes, you basically are normal, which is that it’s such a horrible, insidious way of talking about somebody’s body, but people are doing this.

TR:

It starts early.

D’arcee:

in middle school, we talked about sex constantly. Just being disabled didn’t preclude me from that conversation. But it did put it in a different light, because they were all like I’m doing X and X. And X was such girl, even if they weren’t just complete full of shit.

But at the same time, there’s this extra added layer of like, but at least they could. Whereas you know, you can’t.

AJ:

In school, a lot of people thought I was down and cool,
But when it came to the discussion of sex,
anytime I wanted to be included in the conversation, they were shocked, like, AJ?

Like, what am I a patron saint?

I’m a teenager just like you guys, right? I want to just like yell, but people were shocked is if it’s something I’m not supposed to do.

D’arceee:

I remember one of the worst days ever.
This dude Mike. He was Like, why do you have Aliyah on the front of your binder?

To the whole class he was like, huh, we all know that if you do jerk off it ain’t nothing but air. And everybody was laughing.

AJ, to your point, people think that it’s fine to do it at your expense because you’re disabled. And they literally are like, Well, you’re not going to have sex anyway. Who cares if you’re a man who wants to, you’re not going to do it. So you know, it really doesn’t matter. This is why they exclude you from conversations.

TR:

Occasionally, you get a sense of what the conversations are like when you’re not there.

D’arcee:

I was playing Xbox Live with a bunch of gay men. It was like 12 of us in this group.
We were talking about the club. I was like how difficult it is to be in the gay club.

This dude named Ben, who is in Portland, Oregon , said, I’m gonna say what nobody else wants to say.
Nobody wants you in there. You’re not welcome in there.
Honestly, I would throw myself off a bridge. Living your life is terrible. If I saw you in the club I might give you my number, but if I did, he said it would be with it when the lights are out where no one can see it.
I was so mortified. And I literally, and there was 12 people on this call, and nobody stood up for me. Nobody.

AJ: 1:52:38

I’m sorry that’s really upsetting to me. And I’m stopping myself from crying because they’re just disgusting.

But that’s what a lot of people think about disability. Disability is tragic, disability is ugly. Disability is seen as unmasculine.

There’s a lot of physical things that I can’t do. For instance, I’m an older sibling. But in a lot of ways, because I need so much help. I feel like my sisters are older than me.

I can’t be the big brother than I want to be.

my mom was a single mom, so sometimes I felt like I couldn’t necessarily help cleaning up. I mean, I certainly know now that you know, I have to change things and the way I look at work is different from when I was little, but it was hard.

TR:

Those adjusting to blindness or disability in general can truly benefit from reexamining things in our lives that affect how we view ourselves. Our career, family roles and responsibilities, the formidable loss of a driver’s license for example.

Reinventing ourselves isn’t exclusively a masculine trait, This conversation has me wondering, what is?

AJ:

I have male friends but my closest friends that I have are female, my strongest connections.
I noticed, I’ll be a church and like men would be talking and joking. And so when I would come around, for some reason, conversations would stop

D’arcee:

Disability is for many people the personification of a nightmare.

If I’m just gonna be 100 honest about it, I think that the bottom line is that most men feel uncomfortable. Because, men are not socialized to be caregivers. Men are not socialized to be emotional. Dealing with a person with a disability, you have to embody a level of empathy.

Men are socialized differently than women. Women are socialized to not seek their own pleasure. Men are.
TR:

We’re in a very new time today, men are encouraged to seek therapy. Expressing emotions and discussing feelings isn’t as frowned upon today. Yes, there are still a bunch of proud cavemen out there, but there’s been some real progress compared generations like my own, Generation X and those before me like Boomers.

AJ:

I’ve heard so many stories about men from that generation. I just feel bad. Yes, they were mean and harsh. But then also, could you imagine, like, the weight and the unpeacefulness, , the chaos that’s in your heart and brain because you have to carry this anger. If you are a black man, you had to deal with being belittled and berated as a black man being called boy.

it’s so it’s like, not you can express that anger, though. But the only way you’re going to is because of the mask would be we thought, you know, be either put my hands on my wife, or beat my children.

D’arcee:

look at these white people trying to tell me that like critical race theory, and like horrible and terrible, and
every single time like somebody tries to tell me that like slavery was a million years ago. It’s not that big a deal. I literally turn around and say my grandfather, my dad’s dad saw men hanging in trees in Alabama when he was six years old on his way to school. That is not the Civil War.

TR:

That socialization starts as a child.
How we as a society raise our children.

D’arcee:

I saw a tweet where somebody wrote, his four year old son came to him and said Daddy, I told the girl in elementary school that I liked her. And she said, she didn’t like me back. And he was like, What do I do? And he was crying. And the dad said, well, I think you know what to do.

The sun responded and said, Yeah, I know, try and try again. The dad said, No, that is not what you do. He said, she told you what the answer is, so you respect her wishes.

TR:

Wait, what?
Isn’t that what we’ve been taught?

AJ:

I think with men and I know myself sometimes there’s been a little bit confusion, because no doubt if a woman says no, that is true.

I hear stories all the time, even in terms of the Obamas, if you listen to their story, Mrs. Obama was like the boss, over a team or whatever. But remember that she did say, she didn’t say no. But then he was like, he was so doggone persistent.

When I say that, I’m not saying you just get a free pass, just to like, be aggressive. And don’t listen to the woman.

Persistence has shown, you do land a woman if you’re persistent.

D’arcee:

Women aren’t to be landed.

AJ:

I didn’t mean it like that.

D’arcee:

And I’m not talking about you specifically, in general men typically believe that it’s a conquest. If you want to talk about the route of masculinity it’s a conquest.

AJ:

That sort of takes the whole idea and the premise of the chase.

I even heard women say, it is the man’s job to chase. I don’t want to chase the man.

They want aggressive men. I’m not talking about rape or violation, but I’m just talking about the nuance.

D’arcee:

all of this comes down to the idea of what people think of as natural, which is, men pay for dates. Women get dressed up, women look good for the man. That’s your natural. And people are starting to undo all of that.

I honestly believe that if the internet was around in our parents, most of them would not be together.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

When I say natural, though, I’m going back even further. Go back to Hunter Gatherer.

D’arcee:

Yes, it’s primal.

Every time I hear that argument, I think, but that’s American. The argument behind that comes from Adam and Eve. And the question of subservience and the idea that man said in the beginning, that he was going to lord over Eve and that she is one of his ribs.

TR:

Perhaps the behaviors are learned.

D’arcee:

we have to teach boys about the patriarchy, we have to teach boys that the entire history of the world. And the way that it runs now is built upon the desires and the whims of men.

AJ:

I would just say we can open up masculinity, to include being vulnerable, we can open up masculinity, to include expressing your feelings.

D’arcee:

So we really do need to undo this whole argument from the beginning. And I’m not saying that like, that means that oh my god, gender norms fall by the wayside. But the whole points are bullshit to begin with.

TR:

Thinking about gender norms brings me back to some of the stereotypes we discussed earlier.

In fact, we get back to the issue raised by AJ.

AJ:

I have a lot of friends ,when it comes to like dating or actually, you know, getting down with somebody. It’s a no, and I’m wondering if now it could just be my fault. It had nothing to do with disability.

For instance, I really liked this person. I would call her because I know that she was getting off work, and on her way to the train.

One time when I called her I was like,

I’m calling you, because I know you just got off work. I just wanted to talk to you while you waiting on the train? She goes, Oh, isn’t that precious? And I’m like, precious.

AJ:

I saw Tiffany Haddish in a stand up.

She was like, I started sleeping with this dude, he had a disability. She said, Don’t sleep on disability because he was really working it. Something I just appreciate it so much, because there was nothing timid about them screwing. It was like we’re having sex and I’m slapping your booty. And I’m a disabled man. And at the end, she was like, disabled people want sex too.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:
So here’s what we got to start. You said slapping your booty change that shit to slap in that ass and let’s see what happens bro. We gonna start there.

AJ:

I happen to be friends and very close with women.

A lot of women, including my friends, had been violated. And so that’s always been in the back of my mind.

I think I’m so concerned that maybe I go to the extreme, because I’m always worried about being a gentleman and making sure that women are comfortable around me.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee: 2:39:04
that starting point for you is just like whoa.

That doesn’t even need to be in your mind in terms of being someone that’s gonna assault.

You have so much room to play with because you’re nowhere near that. but it has nothing to do with in terms of your level of confidence and what you put out.

D’arcee:

AJ, people don’t call me adorable. I don’t present myself that way.

If she said oh, how precious is because she misunderstood your intent. As a person who literally studies rhetoric, that’s the work of art. rhetoric. It’s intent.

Attractiveness, they say is only half about looks. The other half of it is actually psychological. Because I know that I have been very attracted to people that are not pretty. And what makes me attracted to them? Oh my god, I love their personality.

AJ:

one time, I met this girl and let’s just say she was very energetic towards men.

She was in my drama class. It came up in conversation that I never been kissed. Okay, so she said that she would do it.

And so weeks go by and my friend just checked in and like, you haven’t kissed AJ. And she was like, oh, I don’t want to corrupt him.

And I was like, I can be corrupted!
Somebody was saying people look at me as someone that’s very gentlemanly, very nice. But I’m not typically the person they want to get down with.

D’arcee:

Even if she did, that’s not the vibe that you want to begin with.

if you want people to take you more seriously, then you kind of have to present yourself in a space.
It’s not aggression, it’s assertiveness. And there’s a difference. I think men actually find that that line is very difficult. Because people assume that they’re being assertive when they’re actually being aggressive.
It’s a hard line to learn to know.

But I would say that when it works, it works really well.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the show Sex Education. AJ?

AJ:

yeah, I need to get caught up …

D’arcee:

You need to get to Season Two. Because Season Two and season three. There’s a character in a wheelchair with cerebral palsy that they introduce, and he’s fantastic. And yeah, he talks about this.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

D’arcee, real quick, though, because you mentioned that character. Does he come to an understanding whatever it is?

D’arcee:

He does.

— Clip from “In Living Color” “The Adventures of Handi Man”

Boy in wheel chair:
“You saved the day. The physically challenged have been needing a hero and you’re it. Thank you Handi Man”

Handi Man:

“That’s ok son. And remember , never under estimate the powers of the handicapped”

TR in conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

Has there ever been anyone or are there people out there who have sort of defined disabled masculinity or be a role model of sorts for that, coming up in life?

D’arcee:

Up until Game of Thrones, the answer to this would have been no.
Peter Dinklage changed that.

prior to Game of Thrones, he said, he told his agent don’t even bring me roles that feature little people. I’m not interested.

People frequently forget that he was a love interest in the show, Nip Tuck for a season and a half. He was a series regular. He was romancing the main character’s wife. And they were having a whole ass affair on the show. And it was juicy and scandalous.

I remember the husband and it was like, You’re cheating with him.

You want to talk about masculinity and the idea of like men, being in charge and taking charge. It’s Peter Dinklage and Game of Thrones.

He wields power and influence, in a way that most people in the show do not.

TR:

But Peter Dinklage isn’t Black

In a perfect world, that shouldn’t matter. And sorry to break this to you, we’re in a far from perfect world where race and the color of your skin matters in every aspect of life. Education, the justice system, health care and more. I didn’t create the system, I’m just seeing it for what it is.

AJ:

When I was younger and coming up, no, the only influences that I had in, in real life were able bodied men.

In terms of acting and my trajectory, I look at people like Darryl Chill. Darryl chills been holding it down. For a while. he was a stage regular, I think, for seven seasons on NCIS New Orleans. He also had his own sitcom. Here’s a brother, who’s doing his thing. And so I look up to him in terms of my career, but in my real life, to be honest, the examples of disability that I can honestly look to, in my real life that are disabled, are you Tom and D’arcee, because you’re holding it down and doing your thing.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

Okay. And you know, I never know what’s gonna make the show but that part right there is definitely gonna make the show.

TR & D’arcee share a laugh.

AJ:

Seriously, brothers don’t get enough props.

Tom has been just like a brother to me. A mentor. He’s opened up a world to me. A world that I can have access to. I’m encountering things for the first time. His doors always open and in terms of you D’arcee, I mean, look at what you’re doing, like the jobs you have. You are disabled brother, getting your PhD.

Professor Purple.

I look up to the other influences like Leroy.

TR:

Once again, Leroy Moore.

That could be the drinking game of YGBD. Take a shot when you hear his name.

What are the implications of not seeing yourself represented in the media?

It can start with one’s own imagination.

D’arcee:

When I was a child I’ve always had like, way too much of an overactive imagination, if that’s not evident to people.

My brother and I, we used to do it as children, we called the Dreamland, we would just stare at the ceiling and makeup random movies

I used to have this persona in my head. When it was a man, it was always like this person who was non disabled.

I don’t do that anymore. Something clicked in my head when I was like, 27 or 28. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, this isn’t right.

AJ:

even when I would imagine being an actor, it’s like, it was somebody else though. Like it was a different person.

I just recently made a conscious effort anytime that I imagine. No, it’s actually me. And if I’m gonna imagine being in roles I actually put myself into. So even though it was my dream, it was always somebody else.

I never discussed this with anybody else. I was doing the same thing. But I felt weird to admit that.

D’arcee:

Thomas, do you think this is weird?

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee: 3:03:58
I don’t think this is weird. In fact, I think there’s a lot of stuff in terms of the idea of visualization. And these are the books that talk about this idea that the idea of moving yourself into someone else right that Kobe Bryant used to envision himself as the snake, the mambo.

A lot of athletes do this, like become that person. I kind of see that in what you’re talking about, I think is dope.

That’s a perfect way to sort of bring this to an end.

That’s what we need, you mentioned all this stuff in terms of the media and all of that, but like, you know, we do have some control. Making content, where we’re in those roles. Maybe at first it’s on a smaller level, but showing that, that this is wanted, that people would check this out. And people are interested in this.

D’arcee:

this making me feel like I need to make an Instagram just be like, Oh, not enough black wheelchair users.

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee: 3:05:21
Do it! Professor purple, B!

D’arcee:

I just want something to exist in the world. I just keep envisioning, because I remember what it felt like. I’m trying really hard not to cry, because I remember what it felt like, when I was 12. And how horrible. It just felt like you’re just totally by yourself all the time. You just feel so isolated. And I’m like, Oh my God, if somebody could get up on Instagram, and see a black wheelchair user, with some dope ass clothes, like, Oh my God, my life would change. My life would change because little kids can see it and be like, Oh my God, that’s me. I want that haircut. I want that sweater, with that haircut and those jeans. So I can go to school next week. And look, fly, and people can stop talking shit about me to some girl and be like, You know what, actually, though? He is cute.
AJ:

if you don’t see yourself in any other ways, besides the people that love you, you feel like you do not matter. And you don’t count. You feel invisible. You feel like you don’t count. Yeh!

TR:

Not only do you count and matter, but you’re beautiful, you’re Young, Gifted, Black & Disabled!

— Airhorn

Yeah. So that’s a good place to stop. I appreciate y’all so much.

TR:

A big shout out to my O G YGBD brothers, Co-Producer, AJ Murray;

AJ:

I’m on Twitter @GotNextAJ and Facebook and Instagram it’s AJ Murray.

Professor Purple himself, D’arcee Charington Neal;

D’arcee:

I’m on Twitter @DrChairington. Dr. And then Chair, C H A I R I N G T O N

TR in Conversation with AJ/D’arcee:

Instagram coming soon.

D’arcee:

I mean I’m on Instagram I just never use it.
@DRKaiyne

Bigup The 2021 YGBD crew, Blind Girl Magic herself, Jeanetta Price, brother Lateef McCleod, sister Alika, AKA the real Toni Hickman. Special shout out to Leroy Moore (drink!). It’s not a coincidence that your name comes up so often in these discussions. Salutes to you and all those who have and continue to let it be known, Black disabled people have been and continue to be out here doing our thing!

That’s it for 2021 y’all.
Let me know how you felt about the podcast this year. Do you like the format, did you notice anything you like or don’t. I’d love to know.
We will return in the first quarter of 2022. But make sure you’re subscribed because you never know, I may drop something in the feed.

Allow me to wish you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year.
Audio: Reid My Mind Outro

Peace & Love Fam!

Hide the transcript