Archive for the ‘Fatherhood’ Category

A Peak at Finding A New Normal

Wednesday, May 20th, 2020

Today, everyone is talking about a new normal. Those adjusting to blindness or disability in general, have a lot of experience in this way of thinking.

Thomas & Marlett seated under a green tree with a blue sky and scattered white clouds hovering above.
As disability impacts the entire family unit or team, I invited my wife Marlett on the podcast to discuss the topic. The result? Advice on managing those inevitable uncomfortable public encounters, accepting change and even how Tick Tock can help during this pandemic. Well, sort of…

Our discussion is actually a sneak peak into an upcoming episode with Dr. Mona Minkara and her production team from Planes Trains & Canes.

Take a listen to this episode and then check out the documentary series before you meet them all here on the podcast.

Listen

Transcript

Show the transcript

Audio: Sounds of microphones being touched…

Marlett:

I am not touching the microphone or the stand.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Do you see me touching the microphone?

(Long Pause)

And I’m a professional! (Laughs…)

Marlett:

You heard my feet.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

What?

Marlett:

you heard my feet, I did this…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Oh, don’t do that.

Marlett:

Ok!

TR:

What’s up Reid My Mind Radio Family! My name is Thomas Reid. I’m the producer and host of this podcast, bringing you compelling people impacted by all degrees of vision loss from low vision to total blindness.

Every now and then, when inspired, I bring you stories from my own experience as a man adjusting to becoming Blind as an adult.

If you are newly impacted by blindness and you found the podcast, first of all welcome. Secondly, I think you’re going to like it here.

Today’s episode does include my wife Marlett. Ever since the last episode titled Celebrating 15 years of being Blind, I received some feedback from people who enjoyed hearing from her. I made the mistake of letting her know that. As you’ll see here today, it may have went to her head.
Despite that, I asked her on because, well, I’m a great husband.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio Intro

TR:

Let me start this off with a warm virtual hug for you all. It feels like every day the idea of normal is pushed further and further. What we would have expected and accepted seems to be a continuous slide in the wrong direction. Specifically,
putting kids in cages, the death of 80 thousand people in two months or racists shooting an innocent young Black man.

Our responsibility, is not to accept it. not to simply act like it is normal.

On this podcast, I don’t often go into politics or current affairs except when I feel it relates to the process of adjusting to blindness. These connections are from my perspective. It’s called Reid My Mind Radio after all.

So when is a good time to accept a new normal?

Right now, just about everyone on this planet is dealing with a new normal. Although we’re all experiencing this pandemic differently, we’re doing it together.

There’s a similar feeling around acquiring a Disability. Now, I’m referring to all of those impacted; parent, child or spouse for example.

Similar feelings but there are some real differences between what is being felt during the pandemic and the experience of disability. For one, the entire world isn’t analyzing it on every news channel. There aren’t easy ways to gain multiple perspectives. It’s more likely something the family goes through alone. Hopefully it’s a real opportunity for that family to become a unit a real team.

I’m on this journey with you so I get it. And so does my wife, Marlett. I invited her on the show to get that team perspective from someone impacted by blindness.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

What I noticed from the last time is that if I ask you to introduce yourself you have a big production necessary for the intro and I don’t think I’m going to do that this time. Laughing…

Marlett:

Ok!

Audio: Intro from Celebrating …

Audio: “The Baddest Chick”, Trina

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Can you please just state your name for the record?

Marlett:
Marlett Reid

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

And who are you?

Marlett:
I’m the baddest chick!

Audio: As the music gets louder …

Marlett:
I’m your wife!

The music continues.

Now back in the present.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughing… You want to introduce yourself anyway?

Marlett:

My name is Marlett Reid, currently writing a book so it’s going to be M.E. Reid.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Laughing… you’re here to promote your book? Laughing…

Marlett:

Laughing…

TR:

Ok, when my wife does publish her book, I’m not only buying a bunch for the RMM Radio family, but she’s definitely coming on the podcast. And that I tell you right now, will be the best episode I ever produce!

It’s not always the case, but Marlett and I shared some perspective around this idea of finding the new normal.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

When your life is uprooted because that’s what everybody kind of is really saying…

Marlett:

Right, right.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

And then now you have to start to see what is going to be the new normal. And I’m saying that we’ve …

Marlett:

Yeh, we’ve been there.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

The difference to me is that while we were doing that everyone was still living their normal. It felt like we were the only ones doing that because it was just impacting us and our family. Do you see any parallels between what we’ve been through and what’s going on right now?

Marlett:

Nothing new to us. Trying to figure out what to do coming up with new ideas of entertaining the family. Picnics in the living room or family night movies.

Social distancing, that’s funny to me because no one really came around We understood about social distancing people were doing that to us for quite some time. Distancing themselves from us.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Damn!

Marlett:

Well it’s true.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Mm Hmm… (In agreement)

Marlett:

They were distancing themselves. If we went to a party they did social distancing there too.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughs…

Marlett:

We would be in a corner or we’d be in one side and they’d be on another side. They just didn’t have a mask.

TR:

At least not one that was visible.

Audio: Plane taking off…

At the time of this conversation, I was in the process of producing what will be the next episode of the podcast featuring Mona Minkara and her Planes Trains and Canes production team.

The documentary series which can be found on YouTube follows Mona who is Blind, on a journey to 5 different cities around the world where she travels alone using public transportation.

I’m encouraging you to check out the series which I’ll link to on ReidMyMind.com.

I was curious to see what if any parallels Marlett would draw after an explanation of the documentary’s concept.

That is the resulting encounters a Blind woman receives as she’s recorded on video while traveling through an airport or subway.

Marlett’s perspective wasn’t what I expected, but it’s definitely understandable how she got there.
Marlett:

It made me think of African Americans, really. When they try to navigate or go through life, how people treat them.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Them? Are you Black?

Marlett:

How people treat us!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughs…

Marlett:

Walking into a bank or walking into a store or walking in a neighborhood.

Audio: YouTube…

“No Justice No Peace!” (Repeats while clips from a news reporter plays…)

“Arrests in the shooting death of a jogger in a Brunswick neighborhood for killing Amaud Aubry. The charges; murder and aggravated assault”

TR:

Perspective matters!

This conversation was on the heels of this latest senseless racist murder of Amaud Aubrey.

(Pause)

When it comes to adjusting to blindness, Marlett and my family are O.G’s in this game!

Marlett:

We have our thing down. We already know what’s going on like I know people talk to me instead of you and I know how I handle that.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Alright so give me an example of that.

Marlett:

If we go, anywhere you have to do something, they’ll talk to me.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

If somebody asked you for an example of that, is there any specific one that you would give. I’m curious to see if it’s the same one.

Marlett:

We went to go vote.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Oh my gosh!

Marlett:

The woman said you can bring him over here or something, you can correct me if I’m wrong but something to that affect. You spoke up. You said whatever it is that you wanted to say.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I don’t know if I said something or whatever? I probably said something…

Like oh you could talk to me. That’s probably what I said. So it wasn’t until after I got out …

Marlett:

And she said, I shouldn’t have done that. I liked her apology and it was to you. I don’t think she ever did that again.
[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

You’re right so we’re good. Like we’re real good. Like I say hello she says hello and it’s cool. It’s all good. That was a nice interaction because it came out where she got it like immediately.
Do you remember the first time. You might have not noticed it even happened the first time.

Marlett:

Maybe like the first time it happened I didn’t really think about it. Maybe about the third or fourth time I probably thought about it more. I think you and I spoke about it. You knew it was taking place and so you would just speak up real quick but then I think after we talked about it and I was like well I’m not going to say anything , you can just take your time in answering not just jump in there.

TR:

Y’all hear my wife’s way of trying to tell me to chill. That’s cute right! I know it’s because she doesn’t want me to be upset, but ignoring it doesn’t make it go away.

I know I shouldn’t take things personally, but having someone talk around me while I’m standing right there? Remember, I said there are things we should never accept as normal, this is one of them. My recommendation?

Marlett:

You would speak on it or be vocal about how it made you feel, but not like it caused tension between us.

I never answer for you. I won’t answer for you. I will walk away or I’ll turn and look at you for you to respond or I will look at my phone.

TR:

Marlett is so great with these situations now that Every time this happens , I almost feel sorry for the perpetrator. I can feel their confusion. If I am feeling let’s just say a bit feisty, I’ll let them hold onto their confusion and embarrassment for a little while. You brought it out, you hold it! It works, they get it.

It’s a cool play that Marlett and I execute well together.

Marlett:
We still have hiccups.

In the beginning it was a lot of hiccups there because you were used to taking the bags and just going. Boom!

What works best for us when we travel is if we discuss it beforehand. When we freestyle we generally tend to have some hiccups.

TR:

Now first of all did you notice how Marlett made it sound like I was the cause – as in, you were used to taking the bags and going.

Marlett:

Boom!

TR:

She’s right! But truthfully we were both used to that.

She’s also right in the need for us to all be on the same page. Communicate the plan before trying to execute.

On this team, we each have to play our role at any given time.

Our roster includes two more players – our girls.

Marlett:

When they were little that was a little harder. Usually they walked in front of us Riana would hold her sister’s hand and they would walk in front of us. Sometimes behind us and I would glance back occasionally just to make sure they were still with us.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I remember that was a thing because I would always ask you where the girls? (_Laughs…)

Marlett:

Yeh!

TR:

They’re 16 & 22 now. Amazingly, Marlett is still hovering around 32.

Traveling with them today?

Marlett:

The girls leave us!

They’ll make sure that we don’t have anything to hold us up. All we have to do is to get where we have to go. They’re more intoned to what works to get us to where we need to go. Like when we went on the cruise, they took the bags.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I had a bag.

Marlett:

You wouldn’t give up your bag.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I know, yeh, I’m not giving up my bag.

Marlett:

You’re not going to give up your bag that easily. You still got that machismo.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Oh, wait we’re gonna go there? You think that’s machismo? That’s alright, I don’t have to go into that because you’re wrong and I don’t want them to be all like oh my goodness Marlett we don’t like her anymore.

Marlett:

Some weird laugh that basically translates to whatever! Ok!

TR:

Ok, despite my lovely wife’s incorrect assessment that I have even an ounce of machismo, her lessons here can be helpful no matter who makes up your team.

For example, producing Planes Trains and Canes requires a real team effort. You can hear all about that in the next episode of this podcast.

Before that episode drops on June 2, go check out Planes Trains & Canes. It’s not necessarily a pre-requisite but we do dance around some specific scenes from the documentary series.

I’m also curious to see if we see similar parallels between the show and adjusting to blindness.

Marlett:

I feel like if you’re traveling with someone who is Blind , you two should have a conversation. What makes each one comfortable?

In the beginning when this all happened I was I think in my feelings. I don’t think I really thought about you or me but more so how everybody else was looking at us. Once I got over that part, which I’m not fully over it, but for the most part I am; we work better!

TR:

Adjusting to blindness is not really a place you arrive but rather an ongoing journey. You either decide to take it or find yourself well not really going anywhere.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

What would you say goes into being able to accept a new normal?

Marlett:

Understanding you can’t change anything so you got to make it work for you. You know the pandemic came around, there’s nothing we can do about it, there’s no cure. The only thing at this point is you got to stay away from people so that is going to be our new normal. Handle it! Things always change that’s life. Nothing ever stays the same, you got to change with the times.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

… That’s real talk!

It doesn’t sound like you’re very compassionate about it . Like I thought you might be a little more compassionate.

Marlett:

I am being compassionate. I’m telling you the truth. I’m trying to get you to get over it quickly. Pull off the Band-Aid. It is what it is. I could hold your hand and we can go through it but…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

See I don’t understand why you can do that but when I do that you’re like (mockingly) Tommy! (Laughs) ]

I’m just going to put this out there because I try to tell everyone I’m the compassionate one in the family.

Marlett:

Exhales… Uh Lord!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

And I think I just got proof of that. It’s definitely evidence.

Marlett:

I realized one thing about this pandemic, this whole thing with the Tick Tock.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Oh God! Laughing…

Marlett:

But wait a minute. This whole thing with the Tick Tock!
[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Hold up, hold up, hold up! I don’t know if everybody knows Tick Tock.

Marlett:

Well Tick Tock is this app where the older generations are dominating this app. I think a lot of people know about Tick Tock. But the great thing about Tick Tock is that…

Audio: Marlett continues with volume lowered….

TR:

Reid My Mind Radio Family, I need your help. I think my wife has an addiction to Tick Tock. If you don’t know, it’s a pretty popular app now that was pre-pandemic considered for the kids. It enables quick short videos often consisting of lip singing or short dance routines.

I’m going to spare you as she tries to rationalize her obsession with claims of this app building bridges.

I’m not saying it’s not true, because honestly, I don’t really use the app. the majority of the content that I’ve come across is predominantly visual and audio description is not an option.

Even the killer content I made with my youngest Raven, a highly sophisticated and intricate dance routine, had no way of including description.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Yo whose the Tick Tock Killa?

Marlett:

That would be you Thomas. (Said very sarcastically!)

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

That’s me, the Tick Tock Killa!

I think you only like Tick Tock because you like to say Tick Tock. I think that’s why this app is actually doing so well because people like to say Tick Tock.

Marlett:

Tick, Tock!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I should have named my podcast Tick Tock and I probably have a whole lot more people listening and subscribing, you know what I’m saying?

Marlett:

I don’t know maybe you’re right. I do like Tick Tock. Yeah!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I ask people to subscribe…

Marlett:

It’s the way you ask people… (she fades her own voice out)

It’s the way you do it! You have to ask…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Wait up, first of all how do I do it? That it’s the way I do it.

Marlett:

I don’t know how you do it, but it’s not the right way. I’m just saying it’s probably not the right way.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

How can you say it’s the wrong way. Oh my God! (Laughing hysterically)

Marlett:

So I’m going to ask everybody to subscribe. And leave me a little heart emoji or a smile or say hi Marlett. (Spelled out)

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Where are they going to do that?

Marlett:

At ReidMyMind.
my content

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Dot com you’re talking about? You want them to subscribe and leave a comment on the episode page?

Marlett:

Yeh!… Yeh!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Now I’m gonna tell you right now…

Marlett:

Yeh! I would like everybody to say hi. I would love it. I feel that energy it would just make me so happy. Just, just tell me hi!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Long pause…

Do you know how many times I ask people to subscribe, to reach out?

Marlett:

And Subscribe…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I give the phone number. I get some people, but you think you’re going to get…. (Laughs…)

Marlett:

What’s so funny?

My energy and their energy. They’re feeling my energy and they’re going to go and subscribe and they’re going to say hi Marlett.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

So what’s the matter with my energy?

Marlett:

Hi Marlett. (Name spelled out)

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

What’s the matter with my energy?

Marlett:

And I’m going to say hi right back. And I’m going to send emoji’s and everything. Yeh!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Ok!

Marlett:

Cause I have an awesome energy.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Ok, I hope you’re right

Marlett:

I’m right!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Exhale….

Marlett:

I’m right!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

On the real, I’d be jealous. I’m not going to lie. I’d be a little jealous. I’m not going to hate though. I don’t think they’re going to do it anyway.

Marlett:

Laughing… Alright!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Cause I know you’re only doing this because you lost the Tick Tock battle, because you never did it because I won the Tick Tock battle.

Marlett:

Exhales….

I didn’t do the Tick Tock because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I killed that joint! If I have an audio described Tick Tock, Bee, I’m killing the game! Put some audio description on my Tick Tock, and then everybody be like Yo! Tick Tock Killa, T.Reid… Tick tock Killa!

Marlett:

You know, speaking of audio description…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Alright, thank you babe!

you’re trying to take over the podcast now I can tell.

Marlett:

I’m not done.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Excuse me!

Marlett:

I’m not done.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughing… what? Laughing…

Marlett:

Why are you trying to kick me off . You know what it is right?

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

What?

Marlett:

He’s jealous. (Long pause)

Because the shows I’m on do so well. Mm hmm. Because I’m on it.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughs…

Marlett:

It’s that energy.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughing…
The energy that’s going to get people to do what?

Marlett:

They’re going to go and they’re going to subscribe

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Umm hmm And how are you going to know they did that?

Marlett:

Because they’re going to leave me a little note and it’s going to say Hi Marlett! (Named spelled out again)

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

You know you got that spelling thing from me right?

Marlett:

I think you got it from me. Yep!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughing…

Marlett:

So make sure you go, Reid My Mind Radio!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Where can they go to subscribe?

Marlett:

Anywhere that has podcasts.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

And then what’s the website?

Marlett:

ReidMyMind.com

R to the E I D

(Audio: “D and that’s me in the place to be!” Slick Rick)

Marlett:

Like MY last name!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughing… That was good!

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio Outro

Marlett:

Peace

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Laughing… There it is. alright, Nice!

You’re trying to get your own podcast. Whatever Bee. I didn’t press record.

Marlett:

That’s not even funny!

Hide the transcript

The 2019 Rap Up… Yes, Rap Up!

Wednesday, December 18th, 2019

A brief update about what’s been going on with the podcast as well as some thoughts on the future. I’d really appreciate feedback!

I was inspired to take a look back at this year’s episodes and create an “original” production I’m calling the RMM Radio 2019 Rap Up. It features my daughter Raven Reid along with yours truly spittin’ that fire!

Shout out to DJ Pain 1 for this free beat on YouTube that just inspired the hook!

“It’s 2019|And it’s the end of the year| Here’s some episodes, that you should really hear| 2020’s on the way| We don’t have long to go| Do the right thing, subscribe| Reid My Mind Radio”

Happy Holidays!

Listen

The 2019 Rap Up Video

Ok, maybe I was just having way too much fun… I decided to make a video of the Rap Up song.

The video simply contains mainly still images of those episodes featured in the song. Since it features my baby girl Raven, I decided to take some footage from a video of her when she was much younger, maybe 3 or 4 years old!

Transcript

Show the transcript

TR:
Happy Holidays Family!

Ok, so this is the actual last episode of the year. Although I consider these sort of extra. To me the real nourishment, the value are the people you meet every two weeks. Those are the people you should know. Me, I’m just the guy who enjoys bringing them to you.

Oh, if you’re new here, please be sure to check out the meat and potatoes, those other episodes I referred to. And allow me to introduce myself to you I’m Thomas Reid host producer and the extra garnishment on the plate and I guess I’m the Chef who serves it all up! I’m also the pro at running the heck out of a metaphor.

Audio: Reid My Mind Theme Music

TR:

In 2018, I started thinking about taking this podcast to what I considered a next step. That’s moving from a passion project, aka a total personal expense to a sustainable venture; at the very least having the expenses covered.

At the most, I’d expand the podcast in scope and frequency. That would include multiple producers and other talent. Specifically, blind or low vision producers and those with disabilities.

That shot was with the Google PRX Podcast Creators Program.

When Google announced they were getting into the podcast business, they also decided to team up with PRX, the Public Radio Exchange to help find and train podcasters that were creating for diverse or marginalized communities.

I figured, I meet these qualifications! I applied.

I made it to the semifinals but ended up not making it all the way. I was encouraged to try again during the second round of the program this year. I did.

Out of something like 10,000 entries, I’m happy to report that Reid My Mind Radio made it to the finals. We didn’t win, but we sure enough didn’t lose!

The PRX team invited two other runner up teams and myself to join the 6 winning teams in Boston for a podcast training boot camp. It was very cool. I met some great podcasters from around the world including Brazil, Columbia, India, Lebanon and Spain. And then some much closer including the only winning team from the US in New York/New Jersey and the other two runner ups from Boston and Oakland.

A big shout out to all of the teams including the PRX training team. It was cool to be among other podcast creators.

Audio: “What’s Your Name?”

One of the things that I’ve been thinking about is the name of this podcast. I know it doesn’t exactly communicate the goal of the show. Obviously, there are better names that I could come up with that would make for better Search Engine Optimization especially for those searching Apple Podcast based on a topic like; adjusting to Blindness or disability.

On the last day of the Google PRX Podcast Creators Program Training Boot Camp, each team had to present their show to a panel of podcast industry experts.

Audio: Mark Intro…RMMRadio

That was my intro, you know I got hype right?

Anyway, some of the feedback I expected was around the name. A lot of people actually were interested in hearing more about the personal experiences. That’s something I’ve been told on several occasions, but have resisted for various reasons.

If I do eventually decide to re-brand what we do here, I will definitely keep Reid My Mind Radio and maybe start to share more of my personal experiences and maybe comment more about blindness and disability related events and issues.

What do you think about me changing the name of the show going forward? Maybe re-branding and repurposing Reid My Mind Radio?

let me know if you would be interested in listening to this type of thing. ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com or 570.798.7343.

All in all, it was a good year for the podcast.

This is where I should insert flashbacks from this year’s episodes. You know a wrap up.

Then, as I was sleeping I had a thought or maybe it was a dream. Maybe

Audio: Dream harp

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio 2019 Rap Up

Music begins…

TR Talking:

So I figured this year 2019 we should do like a wrap up. It’s Christmas time right? Well not a wrap. Really it’s an rap.

“Coo Caw” Bird wings flapping…

I did bring somebody to help me out. Close out the year, you know, in a special way

Music Crescendo….

My baby girl, Raven Reid, get ’em, hah!

Chorus Raven Reid sings…
It’s Twenty Nineteen
And it’s the end of the year
Here’s some episodes
that you should really hear
2020’s on the way
We don’t have long to go
Do the right thing, Subscribe
Reid My Mind Radio

Verse – TR:
First ep in 2019, I was talking opportunity
Just feeling positive for you and me
Next was the first of more to come
The topic, Audio Description ,
“Read by Roy Samuelson” (Audio from Audio Description)

Episode 3 was right on time
Yes, celebrating 15 years of being blind

Black Disabled History was episode 4
Straight from Krip Hop called my man Leroy Moore
(Audio: Leroy Moore says “Krip Hop!)

Now William Greer, he was referred to me
He’s from the film fest, cinema touching disability

Access is Art, you should know what I mean
If not check Episode 6 with my friend Cheryl Green
(Audio: Cheryl says, “It’s about equity!”)

Shout out Alice Wong amplifying
(Audio: Alice says “Disabled voices of color”)
That’s why Disability Visibility.com is like no other

We say Representation matters, they say what’s the fuss
I’ll remember in the dark, hashtag LetUsPlayUs?

Chorus Raven Reid sings…
It’s Twenty Nineteen
And it’s the end of the year
Here’s some episodes
that you should really hear
2020’s on the way
We don’t have long to go
Do the right thing, Subscribe
Reid My Mind Radio

Verse 2 – TR:
Day Al Mohammed produced and directed the Invalid Corps
She does policy, writes books and a whole lot more
(Audio: Day says: “Invalid Corps”)
Elizabeth Sammons is an author touring the country in an RV
At least that’s where she was when she spoke with me!

I Always rep the BX, New York City
Shout out to Prince Bri, Power Not Pity
(Audio: Power not Pity opening music…)
Is there room for the blind on the AD scene
Ask blind consultant, her name’s Colleen

Audio Description there’s more to the game
like describing Sports, Conferences, right Kat Germaine
(Audio: Kat Germain says “Yes”)
Next 3 eps feature the spark event
Sue talked about it and she’ll be back again!
(Audio: Sue says” We’ll sit down for another one”)
Mom and author Kristin Smedley was there live
She says It’s not just her kids but we can all thrive.

She started Captivating, Bold Blind Beauty Oh Boy!
Third time on the podcast, what’s up Steph McCoy
(Audio: Steph laughs…)
Chorus:

TR: “Take it to the bridge”

Bridge Raven Reid Spoken Word…

Since 2014 when this podcast was kicked off
It was geared to anyone feeling vision loss

See, those newly adjusting, it’s their own abilities they question
Reid My Mind Radio is changing perceptions

If you haven’t done so yet, hurry, act fast
Subscribe at ReidMyMind.com or wherever you get podcasts!

Make sure you spell Reid, R E I D
The podcast making blindness funky!

Verse 3:

Question, are Leaders made or are they born
The answer comes from AFB’s Megan Aragon

Landing your dream job is more strategy than luck
Coach Nancy gives some game plus she gives a duck
(Audio: “Quack, Quack”)

Audio description & physically integrated dance
Alice Sheppard, Laurel Lawson, Audimance

Man, this year flew by, like 1 2 3
Closing it out, my Bro Joe Strechay,
(Audio: Apple TV Plus)
See!

TR: “Daddy Daughter let’s go!”

Chorus – Raven Reid & T.Reid: (Repeats)
It’s Twenty Nineteen
And it’s the end of the year
Here’s some episodes
that you should really hear
2020’s on the way
We don’t have long to go
Do the right thing, Subscribe
Reid My Mind Radio

TR:
That was fun!

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza Happy Three Kings Day whatever you celebrate or don’t.

All the best to you, Reid My Mind Radio Family from the entire Reid family.

And of course, so there’s no confusion, that’s R to the E I D, like my last name!

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio outro

Peace

Hide the transcript


The 2019 Rap Up… Yes, Rap Up!

The No Show Show

Wednesday, June 5th, 2019

While I’m publishing an audio file I don’t consider this an official episode of Reid My Mind Radio.

I’ve been pretty busy with life but I’ll be back in two… In the meantime, a congratulations to my daughter and I’d love for you to go on over to the Disability Visibility Podcast as it’s all about podcasting and yours truly is a guest.

Feel free to check out what’s close to 100 episodes available in the archive.

Listen

Transcript

Show the transcript

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio Intro
TR:

What’s up Reid My Mind Radio Family.

Starting the show with my intro music off the jump, wow, I haven’t done that for a while.

Well, this isn’t a regular episode. I’ll explain that in a second.

First, I want to say hello to anyone new here.
Hello there! My name is T. Reid

I’m the host of this podcast where I bring you compelling people impacted by blindness, low vision and in general disability.
]

Every now and then I include stories from my own experience as someone adjusting to becoming Blind as an adult.

In most cases I pair words with music and sound design to hopefully help with the goal of making the listener challenge their own view of what being blind looks and sounds like.

Have you ever experienced times in life where you felt super aware? Like you know you’re currently in the midst of experiencing a life change.

I’ve been feeling like that for a while now and not sure exactly why. The only thing that I can identify is my baby girl Riana graduated from college yawl! Now of course that’s a big deal. She’s getting ready to go out in the world and do her thing. It’s really hard to believe that. It was just the other day when she was traveling on my shoulders. She loved it there. She would even fall asleep sitting there with her head resting on top of mine. I’d realize she was asleep when her drool would slide down my bald head into my ear. Sounds gross but I thought it was so cute. That’s love yawl.

Now she’s getting ready to do her thing and that could literally take her anywhere in the world. I’m so proud of my baby. And yes, she’s always Daddy’s baby and there’s still a place for her on my shoulders. Metaphorically of course. I don’t want another backiotomy!

Audio: Riana Reid being called during her graduation ceremony.

TR:

I guess the other feelings of change in the air are not as easy to pinpoint. I’m sure some have to do with career change and figuring out where I’m going. I’m working on several things right now but nothing really ready for publication.

I’ll be back with a real episode as scheduled but in the meantime please go on over to the Disability Visibility Podcast which features an episode about podcasting and yes, yours truly is one of the guests. In fact, if you listen to that you’ll get a sneak peek into the next Reid My Mind Radio episode.

If this is your first time here please go back and check out a past episode that is more representative of the podcasts mission. You can start with some recent favorites including my profile of Disability Visibility Podcast host Alice Wong, my conversation with Cheryl Green about the art of accessible and my interview with Day Al Mohamed where you’ll hear all about the Invalid Corps …

There’s close to 100 episodes and one thing that has been quite consistent I think at least is they continue to change and that’s a reflection of my own change and I hope growth.

I’m confident telling you right now, you’re going to like what you hear so you might as well hit that button right now… the one that says…Subscribe!
Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, Stitcher, Tune In Radio or wherever you get podcasts.

You can always send me feedback or recommend a guest or topic all you have to do is hollaback!

We have the comments section on the blog, ReidMyMind.com.
The email; ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com
The Reid My Mind Radio Feedback Line where you can leave a voice mail: 1 570-798-7343

I would really love voice messages that I can share on the podcast. If you don’t want to call, you can grab your smart phone and record a voice memo and email the finished recording to ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com.

I’d love to hear and share the voices of those who are listening. If you want to send a message but don’t want it shared just say so and it’s all good.

I appreciate you listening and if you liked what you heard please rate and even review the show via Apple Podcast. And please, tell a friend to listen. Spread the love, man!

You can always visit www.ReidMyMind.com, that’s R to the E I D like my last name!

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio Outro

Peace!

Hide the transcript

Celebrating Loving & Living Blind

Wednesday, February 13th, 2019

This past January marked the anniversary of my becoming Blind. For most, this doesn’t sound like something to celebrate. I disagree. And in this episode I invited the three most important people in my life to reflect on the past 15 years.
Side by side photos of the Reid Family in 2004 & 2018

It’s not just a personal reflection. Rather something I think can be of use to anyone in the early stage of vision loss. Take a listen and hear how much there is to celebrate.

Listen

Transcript

Show the transcript

TR:
Welcome back to another episode of Reid My Mind Radio. I’m your host and producer T.Reid. In addition to bringing you profiles of interesting people impacted by blindness, low vision, disability, I also use this space to share my own experience with vision loss.

January 2019 made 15 years of being blind. I thought about this on the day that marked the event, the anniversary of my surgery. After reflecting for some time I decided it should be a celebration. So I invited three of the most special people in my life to join me.

And it wouldn’t be a true celebration without you.

That’s up next on Reid My Mind Radio.

Audio: Reid My Mind Radio Theme Music!

Audio: “It’s Our Anniversary”, Tony Toni Tone (Instrumental)

TR:

Today, I’m celebrating a gift of 15 years.

I know celebrating blindness seems strange to some so let’s make this clear right now, I’m not celebrating loss.

Audio: “Do you know what today is…” ” Anniversary!” from “It’s Our Anniversary”, Tony Toni Tone

TR:

Interesting fact, most marriages where a partner experiences a disability, end in divorce.

I know a little bit about marriage and disability, but I invited a special guest to help me think about this subject.

Audio: “The Baddest Chick”, Trina

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Can you please just state your name for the record?

Marlett:
Marlett Reid

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

And who are you?

Marlett:
I’m the baddest chick!

Audio: As the music gets louder …

Marlett:
I’m your wife!

TR:
First, I asked Marlett to talk about what she felt were the main challenges to relationships impacted by blindness.
Marlett:

One of the challenges would be communicating. Which is considerably hard if that’s not something you normally do. And even between us we needed to be a little bit more gentle with each other’s feelings so that the other person can hear and then once that takes place then I think both parties would be able to work together. I think that was a huge challenge for us. Being able to work together or to hear each other because of not fully understanding how to communicate.

TR:
Poor communication impacts any relationship. Now take away the most relied upon method of communicating among sighted folks. That just enhances any existing problem.

Then there’s external forces.

Marlett:

People can be really rude!

They look at us as being different and their just curious. I remember it was our anniversary and we went to Atlantic City and we were online and waiting to get into the restaurant or it was a comedy club. I leaned in to tell you something and you bent down and the two women behind us leaned in as well. Laughs!… to hear what it was I was telling you or to see if they could read lips. And then I started telling that they’re leaning in… laughs… they’re leaning in to hear what I’m trying to say to you. This is what I was whispering to you.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

TR:
Laughing.. And what did I say…cause I know I probably said something stupid!

Marlett:
I know you were fascinated by it. You were like “seriously!”

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Yeh, I didn’t know!

Marlett:

Right. But that wasn’t like the first time which is why I told you. it was way more than once…

Or, we’re walking down the street and especially if it was men. They weren’t rude or anything, they would get out of our way . They were respectful in that regard. Not trying to mess with us or anything but they would just stare at you. I would look at them and then they would acknowledge me.

They would just stare at you!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

… long pause

So wait are you saying women don’t stare at me?

Marlett:

Laughs… Yeh, they stare at you too sweetheart.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Ah, thank you Hun!

Marlett:

There was the time the woman tried to give you her number. You thought I didn’t know.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

You making this up… Long pause…
Did that really happen?

Marlett:
Such an idiot!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

(Regarding the men staring)

What do you think that’s about?

Marlett:

You look like them. Yet you don’t.
And the fact that you look like them kind of bother’s them. They’re fascinated like how are you able to do this and that. There’s many things that are probably going through their mind, but they’re still freaking rude.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Yeh! Now the ladies they stare for different reasons!

Marlett:

Because they think you’re hot. mm hmm!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Thank you sweetheart.

Marlett:
You’re welcome!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
I appreciate that. Do you want to share what we came up with because I always thought that was a great response to those types of situations. On how to handle it when people are leaning in to our conversations. You want to share what we came up with ?

Marlett:

It’s G, G rated! (Referring to the podcast.)

TR:

Putting my begging for compliments and attention aside, did you notice that. Listen again!

Marlett:
They look at us as being different.

TR:

She could have said they look at you as being different, but she didn’t. She said us. Just an observation.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

We know that relationships are tested during times of all types of hardships. We had a lot of things going on at the time that people say are the most difficult things to deal with;
We bought a house, you were pregnant, my brother passed away and then we found out I was going to be Blind.

Marlett:

Yeh!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
If you could kind of go back to any point in these 15 years, is there anything that you would tell yourself then that you think might be helpful based on what you know now?

Marlett:

I think I would tell myself to know the imp0ortance of total acceptance.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Acceptance of what, what does that mean?

Marlett:

Finding out that you were going to be blind just to accept that. Understand that is the way it’s going to be. He’s going to be blind. So go from there, what are you going to do now? Not try to find a cure. What are you going to do? How are you going to live your life? That’s the important thing.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
You’re saying you sent time trying to find a cure?

Marlett:

I would say probably about three months or maybe a little bit more. I would go downstairs in the basement that’s where we had our computer at the time

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Heh! And it was cold down there too!

Marlett:

agrees)
It was really cold and I had contacted a lot of Doctors. I got responses back. If they didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear I’d continue.

[TR in conversation with Marlett: ]

Wow!

Marlett:

You see some of these people and they saw their wives for the first time. They have the glasses they put on and they

[TR in conversation with Marlett: ]

They had that back then?

They were working on it back then and I knew about that. I would see if you were a candidate.

I would tell my story . I got a lot of responses.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

What did they say?

Marlett:

One Doctor I think he realized that I was contacting almost everybody. He said to me.. let me explain something.

They would need the Optic nerve and you didn’t have the Optic nerve on the left or on the right. There was absolutely nothing they were going to be able to do. He was trying to let me know I could stop writing everybody and (laughing ) I guess stop annoying them. Although he didn’t say that. He really went into detail and I think that was my last one I got and then I stopped.
[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

So if you’re doing this and somebody’s telling you to accept it, I don’t think that would have done anything for you. Just the words, like what would have made you…

Marlett:

No, that would have done it and I’ll tell you why. No one was telling me anything. They would tell me… “Oh I’m so sorry!” “Oh you poor thing” I didn’t want to hear all that. If someone sat me down and said you’re trying to find this cure that’s not there when your husband’s there you just need to accept him. If it’s meant to be, if there’s going to be something you know you’ll come along and you’ll find it. But not to sit down here and spend hours and hours because I had no one to talk to. No one understood. I was just annoyed when they did say something which was usually something stupid.

TR:

15 years later, I can see the value in celebrating all aspects of My adjustment.

Remembering the good and bad.

All of the thoughts following the realization that I would never see again. The things I naturally thought I’d miss. The inability to see a future.

After a while though, there were breaks between consecutive days of feeling that way. Bridged by small successes along the way. Days that included accomplishments, random laughs and even short glimpses of hope.

A bit more confidence returning every day. Even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Like the realization that the things I thought I’d miss weren’t as important as the things I still had.

Like my baby girls!

A 6 year old.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

Please state your name.

Riana:
My name is Riana. (Sounding tired or sad…)

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ah, what’s the matter Riana… (baby talking voice…)

Riana:
Laughs… shut up!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

laughs… For the record, how old are you?

Riana:
21.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
What happened to 21 Honey!

Riana
No, it was 20 Honey! And 21 is 21, 21, 21 cause that’s what 21 Savage says. Duh!

TR:
And that little baby who was born just prior to me losing my sight.

Audio: “Hi my name is Raven!”

TR:
Well, that was her at about 3… here she is now.

Raven:
Hi, I’m … (laughs)!my voice cracked! Hi, I’m Raven!

TR:
Two baby girls and two separate experiences of my blindness. Well, maybe some overlaps.

The differences seem expected. One knew a father with sight the other never really did.

Let’s start with Riana.

I asked both of my daughters to give some advice to a little girl who is experiencing what they did as a child of a parent who becomes blind.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

She’s dealing with issues that you did deal with . People who stare.

Riana:
Mmmm!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

What would you say to her in terms of dealing with those types of things.

Riana:
I’d say first off, I completely understand what you are going through, because I deal with it all the time! (Expressed forcefully)

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
What is it that you deal with?

Riana:

People staring at my father. People staring for too long. That’s what the problem is…
I feel like… (exhales in frustration) I’m trying to get my words together because my temper’s coming up! I don’t want people to view me as such!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ah, so you get angry.

Riana:

I don’t get angry. I get annoyed.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
About?

Riana:

About people. I’ll be blunt. People just don’t know stuff. Their trying to learn because they’ve never seen it before. I don’t even mean a Blind person. It can be anything. I stare at things some times. You might stare at things.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Laughing… No I don’t …

Riana:

I get it. I’m talking to that little girl.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Oh, ok!

Riana:

Saying that like she might stare at things too. Everybody stares

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
What do you think the difference is between a normal stare and a stare that becomes intrusive?

Riana:

When you stare too long! When you’re staring at people just doing regular Things. Let’s say your father has a guide dog. You’re looking at the guide do and you’re like ok this is interesting this is new, well maybe I’ll Google this and then you stop staring. But when you’re just staring a person if you literally turn the table clearly that would make you uncomfortable. Stop doing that!

I’m trying to do like the four principle things and one of them is don’t take things personally but when people are in your personal space I’m going to take it personally!

TR:

Riana’s passionate about this subject.

She’s referring to the book by don Miguel Ruiz, called The Four Agreements.

Riana:

You have every right to take it personally, but don’t let it hurt you because you have to understand that it’s all on the person and not your father or mother who lost their sight. And I know for a fact that I knew that when I was younger but I did not know how to communicate that to you Daddy because sometimes I thought that, you did say that, that I was embarrassed by you but I wasn’t . I was just annoyed by people. That’s literally been me since day one. I don’t like when people are r nosy. When we go to all white places like the diner and I would get mad that people stare. People were not staring because you were Blind people were staring because we were Black and that makes me mad.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]

Laughs.

Riana:

But I’m not embarrassed. I’m serious, I’m not embarrassed to be Black.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
No doubt!

Riana:

You know what I mean. That gets on my nerves when people are so intrusive. I can be quiet and shy, but I do have a very strong opinion about almost everything in life so I sometimes want to communicate that opinion to these people. Stop looking. You want to learn more, YouTube. There’s literally the whole entire internet for you to learn. Or if you want to learn more come talk to him. Like ask him some questions that are not offensive you know what I mean, think before you say. So that’s what I would tell to the girl. If you really truly have a problem and they’re really staring you can go up there and talk to them and say like hey if you have some questions you can come up and talk to my father or my mother. But if you’re not going to ask the question stop staring, cause you got a phone!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Got a phone as in you can Google it!

Riana:

There’s computers. If you don’t have a phone or a computer there’s a local library. Like come on! There’s so much knowledge you can get! (Said very intensely!)

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ok, alright, alright! Easy easy, woosa!

Riana:

Woosa!

The two laugh…

Riana:

Daddy I’m rocking back and forth…

The two laughing!

It just gets on my nerves some times.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ok, so now what would you say to the parent. Because you said something interesting that I assumed you were embarrassed.

Riana:

You did. All the time!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Laughs…

Riana:
I’m serious you did.

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
I don’t know about all the time but, but ok, ok! Part of that is because you were too young like you said to communicate back.

Riana:

Communicate how I felt!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
So what would you say to a parent?

Riana:

That sometimes kids don’t know how to communicate how they feel. Sometimes the other person doesn’t know the words to say about the situation.

TR:

Good advice and the whole idea that the problem is with the person staring and not taking it personally… I love that.

For Raven, who was born right before I became Blind there’s no change, nothing to really adapt to. Having a Blind Dad, well that’s just…

Raven:
Just like having a Dad but he can’t drive me places. Laughs… Like that’s it. That’s the only difference.

TR:

Normal

Raven:

I thought everyone had a parent that was blind.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

Laughs…I don’t know why that makes me laugh.

Raven:
I don’t know either.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
It’s cute and it’s also… I think my child needs help.

Raven:
I really did.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
No, I’m just joking!

Raven:

I have cousins. I did not process this thought.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

No, but that’s cool though!

TR:

Laughs…Normal is in the eyes of the beholder!

Now look! Don’t let her calm approach fool you.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
What were the questions that you got from school?

Raven:

I remember getting annoyed at certain questions because people would ask really stupid things.

Like “How does he eat?”

Like with a fork!

If someone asks like how you lost your sight, I’d be like oh cancer. I would be fine answering those types of questions. But yeah, they either ask stupid questions or it would just be like how did he loose it.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Nobody was like you know, teasing or nothing like that?

Raven:

I would have punched them!

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

Ok, I raised you right!

Raven:
Laughs!

TR:

Raven’s advice for that young girl who’s parent is newly Blind is a little different.

Raven:
Well, I’d tell the child that their hearing is advanced so you can’t get away with anything. So don’t try it!

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Laughing… Oh my goodness.

Raven:

No that’s an actual thing. You lose your sight other sights (senses) get hire.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
I pay attention. No, no it’s not!

Raven:

It’s a thing. I learn that every single year in Science.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]

They are incorrect!

Raven:

It’s like if you’re trying to listen to a conversation and there’s a bunch of conversations going on around you and you’re listening to that one conversation and you’re focused on that one.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
You’re focused. Nothing increases.

So for example. If you have a radio in here, right. That radio only goes up to a certain volume.
Raven:

But if you plug a speaker in…laughs…

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Laughing… No but , just because that speaker loses a button doesn’t give you an extra speaker.

The two laugh together.

Wow, my own daughter has that false belief.

Raven:

I was told that every single year of my life.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
By who?

Raven:

My science teachers. I’d tell you the stories back in the day how like every time we’d talk about …

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Senses?

Raven:

Senses! I’d be like hey guys my Dad only has four… laughing…

But we’d always talk about the senses and they’d be like if you lose one of your sense the other ones are increased.

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
No, it’s false!

Raven:

Did you feel that punch!

[TR in conversation with Raven:]
Yes.

Raven:

Exactly, you would not have felt it if you could see!

The two laugh…

TR:

Not only is there false information and stereotypes, but if you think about the way the word blind is used and it’s understandable why people can have a hard time accepting blindness.

More often used to describe everything other than the loss of sight.

Audio: Mix of songs featuring metaphors for blind…

“I’d rather go Blind” Etta James
“When a Blind Man Cries” Deep purple
“Channel Zero” Public Enemy begins with “You’re blind baby, you’re blind from the fax cause you’re watching that garbage!

TR:

Pair blind with other disabilities and oh boy!
As in you’re deaf, dumb and blind.

It’s no wonder that For many adjusting, blind becomes a word to run away from. I don’t think I ever had that choice.

Avoiding the word Blind was the equivalent of trying to pretend I was sighted. I just wasn’t going to be able to get away with that so why even bother.

the word that I did have some feelings about was disabled. I felt as though it ruled out all of my possibilities. Where blind was specific to my eyes, disabled seem to imply that there was nothing about me that worked. A disabled car sits on the side of the road until taken away and or repaired. Athletes on the disabled list don’t even get to suit up for a game. Once again restricted to the sidelines.

But, adjustment is ongoing. You learn new ways of thinking about it, new philosophies.

Like choosing how you view disability.

Do you see it from a medical perspective? As in we need to heal or cure it in order to fix all of the related issues.

If we cure that blindness you won’t need a screen reader. Just fix those legs and who needs curb cuts for wheelchairs. You don’t need wheelchairs.

What about an alternative perspective?

Like the problems with disability stem from the lack of access and societies negative perceptions and expectations.

I also became familiar with person first language as in a person with a disability versus identity first as in Disabled person, Blind person.

This is recognizing Blind as an additional characteristic.

Riana:

If somebody asked me what my father is, you know I might say he is Blind. He’s Black. He’s bald. My father’s probably why I’m this. Or he taught me this or he’s my best friend, I might say that!

[TR in conversation with Riana:]
Ah, thank you sweetheart.

Riana:

I might leave the baldness out but I’d say he’s Black and Blind.

[TR in conversation with Riana]

You changed my Netflix profile to say that!

Riana:

Laughs.. Yeh, baldy!

The two laugh…

TR:

But, isn’t blindness and disability something I’m supposed to overcome?

Audio examples from news segments bridged by static signal…

“He overcame the odds and conquered his disability in the most incredible way”
“Made his disability anything but a disability”
“Doesn’t use her crutches as a crutch”

TR:

We hear things like ” You do that so well I forget you’re blind Based on the common belief around disability, around blindness well, I know I’m guilty of thinking it was a compliment. But it’s not!

More than likely, it’s not said with bad intent. No, they believe this based on their image of blindness. To them not seeing it says something good about you and them. Similar to the false idea that being color blind is helpful to race relations.

I want you to see my blindness. I really want you to know what it actually means and get rid of the nonsense we’ve been fed.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Do you think you look at blindness differently after 15 years?

Marlett:

Yes.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Tell me.

Marlett:

Blindness affects your eyes and that’s it. Not your mind. Not anything else. You just got to do things differently.

TR:
My blindness is now a real part of me. Like other aspects of who I am it’s reflected in the things I do.

My blindness is in the way I walk down the street. And yes, my blindness still has a bop to it!

My blindness is in how I raise my kids. The way my family and I travel. It’s right here in the way I produce audio.

I once thought my podcast shouldn’t be limited to my blindness.

I thought certain topics were blindness related and then there was everything else…

One in 5 people have a disability. Blind people participate in every aspect of life.
Politics, Art, culture, sex.

Me producing and hosting means I can bring a blindness perspective. It doesn’t mean I have to, but there’s no real reason I can’t or shouldn’t.

It’s a part of me and therefore a part of the things I do.

It’s not all of me but a part. I mean, I’ve been blind now for 30 percent of my life.

The name may not reflect it out right, but this is a disability podcast. It’s a blind podcast. It’s everything that I am. It’s Black, it’s Hip-Hop! Those who know can hear it.

It just is because it’s me and it’s my thing!

Audio: It’s My Thing, EPMD mixed into 7 Minutes of Funk…

I don’t consciously recognize my anniversary every year. If it makes itself present, cool! I acknowledge it and personally reflect. Would I like a cake and full celebration? Who wouldn’t like cake?

But I want this celebration to not be mine alone.
I’m thinking of those going through something similar.

For many, the idea of becoming blind is worse than death. That’s not hyperbole.
Different polls have shown this to be true for many.
I’m alive and kicking so I guess I can’t truly make the comparison.

I know not everyone consider celebrating 15 years of being Blind…

Marlett:

If I had to be honest, that’s not how I looked at it. Although I tell you, I remember the prayer that I had. I don’t care what happens, just don’t take him from me. I’m going to start crying. Just don’t take him from me.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Mmm! That’s cool… that’s cool!

Marlett:

I just remembered that in that moment. It came back to me.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Thank you baby, I appreciate that! Nice job!

Marlett:

Thank you!

TR:

This is a celebration of adjustments, acceptance , love and life!

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
Instead of being in the cold basement researching. If 2003, 2004 there were a podcast called Reid My Mind Radio and you had a fly dude kicking’ the ballistics… laughs… No seriously, if there were a podcast for you to listen to would you have liked to hear from other people on a podcast?

Marlett:

Absolutely! I was, I was hungry…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]
I think that was too, that’s too sexy Marlett. You can’t …

Marlett:

I didn’t try to be sexy…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

I know but you can’t say hungry. there’s no way I can put that on the air like that. You got to explain it again.

Marlett:

I was looking for something, anything…

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Mmm! There you go again. You see, you’re making it sexy. Stop . Just say it without being sexy.

Marlett:

I was looking for answers and there were none. There was no one there to… I felt like to guide me through this journey.

[TR in conversation with Marlett:]

Long pause…

I’ma guide you through this journey! Laughs… fade out.

TR:
Hollaback…

We have the comments section on the blog, ReidMyMind.com.
The email; ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com
The Reid My Mind Radio Feedback Line where you can leave a voice mail: 1 570-798-7343

I would really love voice messages that I can share on the podcast. If you don’t want to call, you can grab your smart phone and record a voice memo and email the finished recording to ReidMyMindRadio@gmail.com.

I’d love to hear and share the voices of those who are listening. If you want to send a message but don’t want it shared just say so and it’s all good.

Another way to show your love if you like what you hear…

Subscribe!
Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast Sound Cloud, Stitcher, Tune In Radio or wherever you get podcasts.
Visit www.ReidMyMind.com

So there’s no confusion,
… TR in unison with Marlett:
that’s R to the E I D like my last name!

Peace!

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Higher with Red Szell – 2018 Holman Prize Winner

Wednesday, October 24th, 2018

This episode concludes our look at the 2018 Holman Prize recipients. In order to do so we travel across the Atlantic to London. Well virtually via Skype.

Red Szell sitting on steps
We meet Red Szell, the host of RNIB’s Read ON. Red is an Extreme Sport athlete and Holman Prize winner. We hear about his ambition, his journey through vision loss and more.

Subscribe to the podcast and make sure you don’t miss our upcoming three part series featuring the 2017 Holman Prize winners. The podcast!

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Resources

Transcript

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Audio: Vocal crescendo from opening of “White Lines” Grand Master Flash & The Furious Five

TR:

Greetings and welcome back to another episode of Reid My Mind Radio! Let’s go!

Audio: Stevie Wonder Higher Ground
If you’re here for the first time, allow me to get you up to speed.

My name is T.Reid and thanks for stopping by. This podcast is my space to share stories and profiles around blindness & disability. Occasionally I produce stories around my own vision loss experience as an adult.

You joined the podcast in time to catch the third and final episode featuring all three 2018 Holman Prize winners.

I strongly encourage you to not only go back and listen to the other two episodes from 2018, but you should really go back and listen to the 2017 winners as well.

If you’re not familiar with the Holman Prize, no problem! Get comfortable and allow me to introduce you. But first we have one rule here. I don’t start without my intro music!

Audio: Reid My Mind Intro Music

TR:

The San Francisco Lighthouse for the second year in a row, awarded a $25,000 Holman Prize to each of three individuals who in their own way demonstrate the adventurous spirit of James Holman.

All applicants had to create a 90 second video describing their ambition and how they would use the money.
A team of judges all of whom are blind reviewed each video and eventually selected three winners.

Born in 1786 James Holman a veteran of the British Royal Navy became blind at 25 years old after an illness.

After studying medicine and literature he became an adventurer, author and social observer who circumnavigated the globe.

Undertaking a series of solo journeys that were unprecedented visiting all inhabited continents.

our final 2018 Holman prize winner is Red Szell.

RS:
I work for the Royal National Institute for the Blind, in the UK. I present a radio show called “Read On” which is all about books and reading.

TR:
Careful now. If you’re imagining the stereotypical book worm, try again.

RS:

I’d become a really keen rock climber in my teens. And I was good at it. Rode a bicycle around everywhere, did a lot of sports, cross country running, a bit of Cricket. I was a keen outdoorsy kind of person.

TR:

Red, a published author, is an accomplished extreme sports athlete.

If you’re not sure as to what makes one an extreme sport athlete well, you’re not the only one. There’s some question about what makes a sport considered extreme.

Wikipedia defines extreme sports as;
“a competitive (comparison or self-evaluative) activity within which the participant is subjected to natural or unusual physical and mental challenges such as speed, height, depth or natural forces and where fast and accurate cognitive perceptual processing may be required for a successful outcome”

Since 19 years old, “fast and accurate cognitive perceptual processing presents a challenge for Red.

RS:

I was told, “You’ll be blind by the age of 30.” Just like that.

I’ve got Retinitis Pigmentosa which is a degenerative disease of the retinas.

I basically went into a sulk to be honest I was at University so the beer was cheap (laughs) I just went into a bit of a sulk. It was shock. And it took quite a long time to get over it.

TR:
About 20 years according to Red.

But it wasn’t as though he was sitting around.

RS:
I was working as a journalist for a bit. I gave up work to look after my two daughters as soon as the elder one was born, so I was a house husband for 16 years.

I wrote a couple of books. A detective book and I always kept fit but it was kind of like solitary activities like swimming up and down the disabled lane in British swimming pools or going to the gym or doing Pilates or Yoga

I really missed the kind of camaraderie that you get from either being part of a team or doing an activity where you’re working closely with a partner like climbing.

TR:

Isolation

That sense of isolation can be quite common among people who are blind.

RS:

but then my elder daughter had her 9th birthday party at a local indoor climbing wall and whilst all the other parents were ogling the buff bodied instructors I was just checking out the bumps and curves on these beautiful molded climbing walls going I want to get my hands on that and I want to start climbing again. And that itch that I’d been wanting to scratch for two decades just suddenly seemed possible again. I thought well I can get back out and climb again safely.

TR:

When Red was first diagnosed with RP climbing walls weren’t an option. You had to do it the old fashion way, find a big rock and start climbing.

Early indoor rock climbing facilities weren’t of interest to Red as they weren’t very challenging.

RS:

The climbing wall that I went to for my daughter’s 9th birthday party had these 18 meter high walls and they were over hanging and challenging. It was just like being back outdoors again and I just… it just immediately hit my adrenaline button.

TR:

When that adrenaline gets going, you don’t want to keep it bottled up.

RS:
For a long time I was very good in being the happy blind person … well doesn’t Red take this well. Concealing inside that I was really pissed off. I don’t know if I can say that on your show…

[TR in conversation with RS]
You can say anything man!

RS:
Laughs… ok!

And actually like anything that you bottle up, it tends to go off. It tends to go sour. Actually what I learned though getting active in group activities again is a lot of it because you have to externalize it, you actually let off a lot of steam as well. It’s part of the process.

TR:

With the combination of adrenaline and access all Red required was action.

RS:

After my daughter’s 9th birthday at the local rock climbing center I turned up a little bit sheepishly with my white cane in my hand and said look I used to be a pretty decent rock climber. I know I’m blind but would you give me lessons and my instructor Trevor said yeh, why wouldn’t I. And I went what really and … I’m not going to discriminate against you just because your blind you said that you used to love climbing so do I.

TR:

Right there! that’s where Red and his climbing instructor Trevor found common ground. As we’ll see that’s an important message Red hopes to share with others. Proving inclusion and access is of benefit to all.

RS:

It was great. He gave me a great accolade after the third lesson that we had. Actually instructing me made him a better teacher because he had to think outside the sighted box. And that was great.

As soon as I got my strength back , my climbing strength back, I was actually making pretty good progress and it felt really good to improve doing something physical rather than having a degenerative physical disability and feeling that things were getting worse day by day. I was getting stronger and better at something day by day and it felt like taking one back for the good guys to be honest.

TR:
Feeling robbed by vision loss can lead to self-doubt.

RS:
I’d given up originally because if I couldn’t trust my eye sight how could I expect other people to trust my judgement, but actually through indoor climbing I re-discovered that passion but also that ability to control risk, be in charge of my own destiny and communicate. And I think that’s the thing that I get from rock climbing. And also from tandem bike riding and swimming. If you’re doing one of those activities with a buddy then it’s about communication. If your buddy is willing to help you then it’s actually down to you to give them the correct type of communication so that the two of you can achieve as well as you can. And I think that was something. It took me a lot of time. it took me two decades to realize that.

TR:
Armed with this new perspective, Red unknowingly or maybe subconsciously, began the process of ascending towards his goals.
Following a climbing workout with his trainer, Red mentioned one of his pre vision loss climbing goals.

RS:
And then one fateful day, whilst Trevor, my instructor was waxing lyrical about his favorite mountain side, I laid gasping on the ground having just overcome a tricky hanging problem, I let slip this dream that I had since I was about 12 years old of climbing something called the Old Man of Hoy.

TR:

The Old Man of Hoy is a sea stack off the coast of Scotland.

Sea Stacks also referred to as just a stack is a geological landform consisting of a steep and often vertical column or columns of rock in the sea near a coast, formed over time from erosion due to wind and water.

The Old Man of Hoy is considered one of the 10 most amazing stacks. it’s about 449 feet tall and only several hundred years old. Experts believe it may collapse soon.

Red became interested in climbing the stack after watching a documentary about Chris Bonington a mountaineer who climbed Everest.

RS:
He climbed everything . He is a Rock God.
that was the rock pinnacle that I kind of had emblazoned on my heart that I always wanted to climb. I said that to Trevor and Trevor went ok, I’ve climbed that. Well you know, with a bit of work you could probably do it. You know, you’re a good climber, you could probably do it. And that was it, it started itching … I started to go I got to do this. By then I got a climbing partner and I mentioned it to him and this dream kind of became a target because my climbing partner is quite pushy and so is Trevor.

TR:

Audio: From 2012 Olympics Opening
“Welcome to London”

Encouraged by the athletes competing in the 2012 London Paralympics taking, Red began taking steps to accomplish his long time goal.

RS:

That summer of London 2012 was the time that I started thinking this is possible. Then at a slightly drunken Christmas party at the end of 2012 my climbing partner was just ribbing me going ” When are you going to do this , when are you going to do this?” I just said Let’s do it next summer.

[TR in conversation with RS]
Who says alcohol isn’t good for something, huh?

Laughs with RS

RS:
Alcohol makes the plans.

TR:
Maybe, but executing them can be sobering.

Red dropped a bit of extra weight and in 2013 became the first blind man to climb the old man of hoy.

RS:
They made a film of it which was broadcast on the BBC over here.

and talk about taking one back for the good guys. That was one in the eye for Retinitis Pigmentosa, screw you, I can still do this.

TR:
After successfully climbing the Old Man of Hoy, in 2014 Red reached the pinnacle of another, the Old man of Storr.

His latest quest or in this case his Holman Ambition once again includes a sea stack.

Am Buachaille  , the rock that I’m going to go and climb is the third of the big Scottish sea stacks.

This is the most extreme. It’s miles away from anywhere. You have to cross Bog land. You have to abseil down cliffs you have to swim out to the base of it and then you got 90 minutes to climb it before the sea cuts you off and strands you over night. Not many sighted people take it on.

TR:
Yet Red along with his climbing partner Mathew will take it on. In a nutshell, here’s what they have to do.

Audio: Let There Be Rock, ACDC

RS:

Everything is against the clock.

Audio: Clock ticking…>

We have to setoff at the right time. Building in the fact that the land we are crossing is boggy. We will probably fall off a few times.

Audio: Bike fall and wheel spin

We’ll probably have to pull this heavyweight Cannondale tandem out of the bog, clean it up and move on. We’ll get punches, it’s a tough climb.

Then we’ve got to abseil down.

TR:
That’s a descent down the face of the cliff to reach their entry point into the water.

RS:

wait for the tide to get slack to go out to minimize the amount of swimming that we have to do and to be able to get on the platform at the bottom. Not a manmade platform but the bit that you can actually stand on to start the climb at the bottom of the sea stack.

We’ve got to get dressed again, get our equipment out. We’ve got to climb it and do that and get back down within 90 minutes otherwise the tide will cut us off.

TR:

You would think that when their finished climbing the sea stack that’s it, right? Wrong! They have to turn around and do the whole thing in reverse.

RS:
You got to swim it , bring your equipment there and back and then you got to be up the cliff and then cycling back before it gets dark. Not too much of a problem for me but it might be for my sighted climbing partner.

TR:

If you’re a sighted listener, feel free to join the blind and low vision listeners who are giggling at that last comment.

He may sound calm and make light of the situation but he takes it all quite seriously.
RS:

I don’t like to have a challenge that I can’t work out how to do but I came up with this plan about two years ago having sort of scoped it out beforehand. I just thought that’s impossible. A, that needs a lot of resources. B, it needs a lot of planning and C I’m not getting any younger. It’s a tough challenge.

TR:

Indeed. Just think about all of the variables at play. Communication, equipment

***Start Here***
RS:
We are talking about the United Kingdom that has a habit of pissing down rain just when you don’t need it to. Or high winds, We can’t climb in that. There’s a lot of planning.

There is a lot of stuff to go wrong and one of the things that you learn as a climber is that you minimize all the potential for things going wrong. So you draw up lists of what can go wrong and how you can stop it from going wrong. What you might break, equipment wise. What you can afford to bring with you as a spare.

We’ll do it. It’s a scary challenge even here 9months out it’s probably the toughest climbing challenge I’ll have ever done.

TR:

At first, I thought Red’s motivation was vengeance. as in revenging vision loss itself. Specifically, Retinitis Pigmentosa.
RS:

Includes audio reverb effect as in flashback…

it felt like taking one back for the good guys to be honest.
talk about taking one back for the good guys. That was one in the eye for Retinitis Pigmentosa

TR:

And so we’re clear, I’m not judging.

Maybe that is a motivator for some. Whatever gets you moving, right?
And you need momentum to reach your peak.

And along the way, motivations can change from personal to those that have a broader impact.

RS:

I think my diagnosis of blindness made me a little scared to go out of the door at times. It made me need to have a reason to go outdoors.
Other people’s
perception of blindness is that we are mobility impaired and maybe there’s a lot of activities that we shouldn’t do . My view of the world is that you go and kick the ass out of it and if you can find a way of doing that that gives you pleasure and has you playing with other people playing along with other people and doing stuff that you can they enjoy, blindness should be no barrier to that. Go out and find the thing that makes you tick and kick the ass out of it. Life is too short to sit there looking at what you lost rather than what you can still achieve.

I kind of wish that I’ve done a bit more in those years before I rediscovered climbing.

I don’t like what if’s and I don’t want other people to have what if’s. I want to spread the word that whether it’s Yoga, Pilates, climbing kayaking or just walking to your corner store and back every day, getting out and doing some physical activity makes you feel much better.

That’s what it’s all about for me.

TR:

Writing his own account of his 2013 climb of the Old man of Hoy in his book, The Blind Man of Hoy has given Red the chance to spread his message.

The Holman Prize will give him a chance to increase his visibility and reach a wider audience. Yes, he hopes to inspire other blind people, but it’s what he hopes the sighted family and friends can learn that I find intriguing.

RS:

I got a blind friend , maybe I should ask him if he wants to go swimming. Maybe I should see if we could rent a tandem and we could get outdoors
if just one person’s life is changed by showing what we still have as blind people in potential then my job is done. I’ know that I’ve made some difference already. I want to build on that success .

TR:

Changing perceptions isn’t easy. Red knows. Based on his own estimate it took him about 20 years to re-focus how he views his vision loss.

RS:

when I got to the full summit of the Old Man of Hoy and there’s this huge crack in the top of the sea stack as if a giant has taken a cleaver to it and split it down about 50 meters. I could feel the wind coming off the Atlantic and could sense the sun all over my face and I thought I’ve got there this is brilliant and then my climbing partner just went not yet mate , I went but this is still pretty cool, I’m just going to bask in this .

I thought my blindness has got me here. Without my blindness I would never have been climbing that rock. I would have been sitting in front of some computer somewhere doing some boring ass job earning money for the man and thinking I wish I carried on climbing. My blindness got me there. Without it I wouldn’t have achieved those pages in my story.

when I got this job working for the radio station my Dad actually turned around to me and he went you always wanted to be a radio journalist didn’t you . And I went yeh that’s what I wanted to do when I was in my teens. And he went and you’re doing it. You’re doing it about books. People are paying you to listen to audio books and interview authors. What’s not to like about that.

And I thought it’s a really funny round about world where it took 30 years and going blind for me to actually achieve two of my most dearly held dreams.

Whilst I’ll never feel truly grateful to Retinitis Pigmentosa I guess I’ve got to thank it for some of the opportunities it’s given me.

TR:
In fact, Red says it was his boss Yvonne at RNIB, the Royal National Institute for the Blind, who suggested he pursue the Holman Prize.
RS:

Royal National Institute for Blind people is celebrating its 150th anniversary this year. It supports people with sight loss. It gives help, advice and equipment to people with sight loss to help us lead as constructive a life as possible.

We have the most amazing talking books library which also has Braille and giant print copies of hundreds of thousands of books.

TR:
If you want to stay in touch with his progress, send congratulations or listen to his show…

RS:

You can find me at my website RedSzell.com where you’ll find all of my latest news. You can drop me an email if you want to and you can find Read On by looking up RNIBConnectRadio/ReadOn.

TR:
So there’s no confusion, he spells that R E A D. I know weird, right?

TR:

Red and I have a lot in common.

We’re both around the same age, actually I’m one year older than the young man.

Both losing our sight later in life.
Dad’s to two daughters.
We’re both interested in audio journalism.

But I guess there could only be one …

Audio: King of Rock, RunDMC.

Salute to Red Szell, Stacy Cervenka & Conchita Hernandez the 2018 Holman Prize winners. I’m sure the Reid My Mind Radio family joins me in congratulating you all and agree that we’re looking forward to hearing more about your journey and success.

Shot out to the San Francisco Lighthouse for their leadership and sponsorship of the Holman Prize.

I think it’s worth recognizing the amount of time and thought put into this project.

It’s something that could easily be done wrong.

The diversity of the winners and their ambitions indicates to me at least that it’s really about encouragement, visibility and the promotion of positive examples of what is possible for people who are blind and low vision and in general people with disabilities.

Three things that I hope are also associated with this podcast.

Next time, we’re going back to catch up with 2017 Holman Prize winners and Reid My Mind Radio Alumni…

Penny Melville Brown of Baking Blind

Ahmet Ustenel AKA The Blind Captain

Ojok Simon, The Bee Keeper & Honey Farmer!

We’ll hear about what worked with their plans and what sort of adjustments were required. And of course lessons learned.

If there’s one lesson I want Reid My Mind Radio listeners to learn; that would be , how to subscribe to this podcast.

Apple Podcast, Google Play, Sound Cloud, Stitcher or Tune In Radio. Of course, whatever podcast app you use, you can find it there by searching for Reid My Mind Radio. Just remember, that’s R to the E I D!

Each episode lives on the blog, ReidMyMind.com where I include links to any resources and a transcript.

You know, I may not have been crowned King of Rock, but you know what they say…

RS:
He’s a Rock God!

Peace!

Hide the transcript